Caroline - posted on 11/03/2011 ( 68 moms have responded )
22
12
I've read quite a lot of post various women saying there is nothing wrong with men viewing porn, now everyone ofcourse has their own opinions and are completely entitled to that, but I'd like to share my own personal testimony and how porn and so much more has completely destroyed my marriage and why it is so important to know the consequences of porn for women, men as well as families.
In 2006 on my second wedding anniversary my husband confessed to me that he had been recieving oral sex from strange men in public toilets, this had happened 3 times within our marriage.
During the previous 6 months I'd been finding porn hidden all around the house, under the bed and various other places, and on the computer with video fotages as well.
After his confession there followed a whole load of other confessions, my husband had been addicted to porn since the age of 6 years, he'd been visiting toilets and being abused by older men since the age of 7 years old and been abused by friends of his family, he was addicted to masturbation (over 10 times a day), he led a continuous fantasy life and still does to some extent, he would seek sex from anyone and anything (even touched his family pet sexually), has an obsession with anal and other forms of sex and after about a year after his confession, he started abusing me sexually.
My husband hated himself and still does, his behaviour has destroyed him from the inside out because he has abused himself for 30 years now in so many ways, and along the line he has abused all the sexual partners his come into contact with but more than that he has completely destroyed me and the wonderful family we have with his lies, deception and putting me at risk medically because of the things he has been doing.
The last time he acted out against me sexually was 26th September 2011 and for me it was the last time.#I have stuck with him for 3 years 3months and after everything his done to me and our relationship, I've done all I can to remain in the marriage, but his addiction has now pushed me so far away from him that I want nothing to do with him and our marriage.
The hurt and pain his caused is beyound anything you could ever imagine, and all his issues started with harmless viewing of porn.
Most don't view porn just to seek out the women, it is actually covering up a whole heap of brokeness and hurt that their trying to cover up and their drug is sex and they just can't get enough of it.
Viewing porn normally goes hand in hand with masturbation, when that isn't enough they then move onto something more physical like paying for sex and various other things.
But the problem is it's never enough and they always need something harder to get their 'ultimate climax' and that's when it gets dangerous.
Once porn and sexually addiction gets a hold of someone, it's an unchain which can become unbreakable and they can never get rid of it.
I run a support group at www.healingheartsclub.co.uk which gives support to women who have been affected by their husbands sexual addiction and believe me, those women know the dangers of porn because just like me, their living out the consequences of it.
Every person viewing porn thinks it will not affect them and 'it's just a bit of fun' but when all you want and crave is porn.....that's where the fun stops and your problem starts.
This isn't just a problen for men either, many women suffer from sexual addiction for various reasons and the shame that comes along with it is awful and they find it even more difficult to seek help.
So please everyone, before you think that viewing porn is just 'something people do', remember what the consequences of it could be you, your partner and your children.
My whole family was changed on the day my husband told me all that he'd been doing behind my back, he still struggles with many things but for me, I can not support him in his struggles because I now have my own huge mountain of anger, hurt, pain and being sexually and emotionally abused by my husband to deal with.
My strength comes from my faith in Jesus Christ and that is the only way I have suvived the worst 3 years of my life.
I live to love him and protect my children from all this craziness and to protect their relationship with the their dad, but as far as my relationship with my husband.....well I'll let God deal with that, because I can not.
68 Comments
View replies by