What should I do?

Emma - posted on 12/10/2012 ( 16 moms have responded )

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My younger son who is 10 has been peeping tom these days. last weak my cousin's daughter caught him peeping on her other sister. when she pushed him further, he admitted he has been peeping both my daughters.



I have two daughters , Tracy is from my ex husband and Rachel is from my present husband's and his ex wife's. Both the girls are 14 and my son Mark is from me and my present husband, he just turned 10 in December.



I wanted to punish him but Tracy asked me not to do so as they already knew he has been peeping on them. They haven't told me about it. when I asked them why did they hide all this from me, they said if we told you about it you and dad will surely beat him up for this. They told me when they realize that he he is peeping on them, they started staying more careful when they were in bathroom. one of them use bathroom and other keeps him busy so he won't go near bathroom.



A day before this Rachel came home crying because he called her stupid cu*t and she came home running she was crying but she didn't tell me what happened, I asked she told me she fell off on the street. She did that to save him from beatings. Later in the evening my neighbour lady complaint me about it that my son verbally abused her elder sister infront of everyone. when I she told me the words he said to her, I was totally in shocked, I kept them all discipline specially him as he is boy. where did he learned these words.I didn't beat him but I did grounded him.

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S. - posted on 12/10/2012

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I don't belive in beating anyone a little or a lot, boy or girls also its clear your girls don't like it either ! So much they are hiding things from you and clearly the beating arnt deterring him from doing wrong so I'd find something else that works better. I'd sit him down and explain he's not to peek at his sisters I agree with little miss explain puberty and and what's going on with him. I'd also take a lot of notice of your girls they sound very sensible and grown up and them protecting there brother whilst finding away to protect there own modesty shows a lot about who they are. Good on them :)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/10/2012

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I would like some clarity of what your beating entails. If it is a beating, no wonder the girls didn't tell you about it. Beating someone does not make them stop doing anything. Sitting down and having a discussion about privacy and having him understand what that means will help. Also talking about hormones, puberty, and what he is experiencing would be nice. Not beating him for peeping.



I never knew you could "beat a little"

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16 Comments

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Dove - posted on 12/15/2012

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You are sick and if I knew where you were I would call the police on you. I pray you are a troll just trying to get a rise out of people.

Yes, I hope your son knocks you on your butt. You do NOT have the right to abuse the children that God gave you to raise. Discipline and punishment are one thing. Taking away privileges like tv, computer, etc... fine. Giving extra chores... fine. Withholding food, beating your child w/ a stick, force feeding them chile peppers, etc.... is abuse and I hope you lose your children over this.... if not by CPS, then when they are all 18 I hope they move as far away from you as humanly possible and get the therapy they need to be whole human beings and raise a family of their own where their children are SAFE from the harm YOU are bringing to your own flesh and blood.... sick and sad.

Michelle - posted on 12/15/2012

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How can your soul be clean when you abuse your children!!!!!!!!

Beating them and withholding food is ABUSE.

I hope that your children someday get the courage to report you for the abuse you have given them over the years and that you are locked up for it.

I would also be reporting your Padre as he has some very questionable punishments as well.

Emma - posted on 12/14/2012

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I guess this will be my last update.
I have told everything to my husband, He treated them all well, He beated Mark with stick and We have not given Mark any food whole day except Mark was made to eat green chillies as Padre told me and I suggested my husband according to it, so that he wont use dirty words again . Mark is now grounded. No more playing with friends.

As for the girls, they are also grounded, they denied to the food because of their brother and they were both shameless taking his side so they also have been beated on their palms for hiding and supporting the shameful sin of their younger brother. I told my husband that they both disrespected Padre, so they both should be awarded with extra Chores.

now my soul is clean in the eye of God and in the eye of my husband. Now he knows everything, and he can tackle with it by himself.

Emma - posted on 12/13/2012

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Dove, you wouldn't tell me..... you want my son to beat me....



if it was your son peeking at your daughters in the bathroom, what would you do..... I am sure you welcomed him to peep at you as well.

S. - posted on 12/12/2012

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No Emma I am saying being made to eat green chillis is abuse and being slapped around the face is abuse! I am not saying punishment is abuse. I am certainly not confusing myself!



I think the kids hormons are developing and he probably finding the girls form intriguing, different from his and is curious so has decided to peek, I am not saying it is acceptable at all but I am saying I don't think he need to see a doctor!



I don't think your girls should be punished at all for this, if anything if explain why not telling you is wrong and how it could of gotten out of hand but I think in general boys shouldn't be beat because they are boys, I think boys an girls in general shouldn't be treat different from each other.



For Older Girl or boy I would ground, take stuff away, ban pocket money, ban clubs, cancel events add chores that kind of stuff, if i was his mother I would look for a story on the net or paper of a peeping Tom that got in trouble because its an offence, I'd explain till I was blue in the face and un till it went in about how he's made the girls feel and how he's made me feel.

Dove - posted on 12/12/2012

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Well no wonder the girls wouldn't tell you. I wouldn't tell you either if you would beat my brother for it. I hope you and your family get the help you so desperately need to learn how to be parents before that boy gets bigger than you and knocks you on your butt. Actually, no... I hope he does knock you on your butt when he is bigger. See how you like it. Be a PARENT... not an abuser.

Emma - posted on 12/12/2012

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S.J.

how do you think he should be punished? how do you think he and girls should be punished in the same way.

you are saying peeping is normal and your are saying it should not be accepted....

you are saying he should be punished and you are saying punishment is abusing....

you are confused yourself, let me help to see the clear thing.....



I want an Idea on how to make him understand without punishment or beating that peeping her sisters or any other girls in bathroom is not a good.



I don't want to discuss BEATINGS.

as for the law, I know they take your kids and raised them antisocial and then again they start campaign against the crimes.

S. - posted on 12/11/2012

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I am not attacking you but where i am from a slap to the face or a stick across the butt could result in kids been taken away because fiscally abusing anyone is against the law! I believe boys and girls should be treat and punished the same way. And for the record being made to eat green chillis is abuse also. Don't get me wrong I feel the boy should punished but NOT like that.

I also feel him peeking is normal behaviour I'm not saying it should be excepted or is it ok but it is totally normal.

It is also a siblings duty to protect one an other which is what your girls were doing! If you never beat him you would find they would come and tell you but instead they chose to hide it because they knew you would beat him I think that alone speaks volumes!

Emma - posted on 12/10/2012

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beatings mean few slaps on face or stick on butt with his clothes on. I am not mad, neither my husband, why would we hurt him, we love him we want him to be a good human being. for god sake he is a boy and boys only respond to beatings. We have never touched any of our girls.



he is only 10, what I am supposed to say good boy, peeping your sister in bathroom is the nice thing and lets discuss sex.......

Why are you people attacking me........



I took him to the Padre and he also said what Mark was doing is a sin and he surely needs a punishment. He also said for using dirty words I should have made him eat green chilies or pepper and I should have punished the girls for hiding and supporting bad behaviour of Mark. Tracy and Rachel both are being very disrespectful towards the Padre, they called him sinner and according to them Mark who has been doing peeping is innocent. If I would have done that, these girls never dare to be disrespectful to Padre.

They are the older sister and their duty is to tell me about all the bad deeds of Mark instead they were hiding it and saving him from punishment.



It was my son who was peeping my cousin's daughter, think how humiliating it is for me and my daughters were hiding it from me.



He used dirty words for his sister and she didn't tell me and my neghbour tolds me about it. how would I felt?



its not the beatings I want to discuss......



should I consult a doctor or physiatrist for him?

Lacye - posted on 12/10/2012

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What do you mean you beat your son? OMG! Do you realize that is what sane people call child abuse! I surely hope you don't mean you actually beat the poor boy. No wonder the girls aren't telling you anything. They are scared to death that you and your husband are going to hurt him.



Oh and if you and your husband are beating him, he's probably learning the words from either one of you. Kids do actually listen while they are being abused.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/10/2012

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I don't like spanking, smacking, or especially beating. Beating is abuse for certain. I shudder to think what beating your children means.

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