What should I do ?

Autumn Rachell - posted on 02/06/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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What should I do ? I'm 17 have a 3 month old daughter and my mom wont let me see my boyfriend, my daughters dad. Can I just leave ?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/15/2013

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Autumn, unless you signed over parental rights to your mother, she has absolutely no say in anything to do with your child. She can advise, but she has no legal authority.

If you want the child to see her father, you should do that. I know that it's disrespecting your mother's wishes, but she is disrespecting your family by not allowing any contact. Your boyfriend does have every legal right to see his child, and if he wanted to pursue it, he could get start proceedings to have your mother's presence removed from the situation regarding his (your) child.

Make sure you an attorney to represent you, and you have a place to go if she kicks you out, but let your boyfriend know his kid. Establish paternity, get his name on the certificate, and calmly let your mother know that she's done a great job with you, and now you need to raise your own baby.

Crystal - posted on 02/15/2013

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make sure to keep in contact with the lawyer, if you don't hear back soon make it appoint to check in with them. Your mom sounds very controlling. You can fill out paternity papers at any age. You can add him to the birth certificate if she left him off. You and your boyfriend should be able to request to establish paternity through the county you live in. I know many people who ended up on their own when they were young (even 14 and 15). Sometimes it ends up being for the best. It sounds like you and your guy could have a stable household together.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/15/2013

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Oh, Autumn, I know that you can't believe that your mom would lie to you. And, really she shouldn't. But, she may think this is a way to "protect" you from the big bad world.

That's why you need to talk to an attorney yourself. Best of luck, sweetie!

Autumn Rachell - posted on 02/15/2013

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Thanks for the help, we are trying are best and waiting for a call back to let us know what we can do. I can't believe my mom would lie to me and screw me over about the birth certificate and saying our daughter can't have his last name untill were 18 and put his name on birth certificate.

Autumn Rachell - posted on 02/14/2013

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We called & they said they are gonna see what they can do and call back,

Autumn Rachell - posted on 02/14/2013

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No Im not supporting myself :/ but my boyfriend could untill I get into CNA classes and get a job. & no we didn't fill out paternity papers cause my mom said I had to be 18 & she said she wasn't putting his name on the birthcertificate. & I turn 18 in October . I'm just afraid there is nothing I can do untill I'm 18.

Crystal - posted on 02/09/2013

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You are in a tricky situation. Are you supporting yourself? (meaning would you be able to support yourself and your baby on your own?) I never understand why some parents act this way. Since he is the father of your baby, he has the legal right to spend time with his family (you and your daughter). Have you established paternity? This is an important step for both of you, not just him. It may feel disrespectful to your mom, but what is keeping you from not seeing him, other than your mom saying you can't? How soon do you turn 18? Before you decide to leave, if that is what you choose to do, make a very detailed, reasonable plan. Make sure you have a stable place to stay and you can support you and your baby and keep you guys safe. I would see him anyway. You can meet at different places even. A father's bond with his child and the mother of that child is a very important one and your mother may be your mother, but he is now a part of your family and she may not like it but she needs to be supportive of you and your choices, especially now.

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