What should I do about my three yea old daughter not listening and being rude all the time?

Jennifer - posted on 07/16/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My daughter is very rude and ungrateful She tells people that she doesnt like them, and if she gets gifts from family and friends she says that she doesnt like it and then she tries to brake the toys after she recieves them... I have tried everything and just dont know what else to do.... Please help with some pointers and idea on how We should deal with this.

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Jennifer - posted on 07/17/2012

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Thank you Sharon and Ashley, I appriciate everythinbg you said and feel a little better
Thanks again.

Ashley - posted on 07/16/2012

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i agree with both, if given a gift id at first take it and say you wouldn't like it, without giving her a chance to say she didn't first! if she whines about it and says she does like it, say something like GREAT then you can tell the person thank you for the gift. if she refuses then id just put it up and say well someone else will enjoy it.

if she does however say thank you, next time around when someone gives her a gift if she says "i don't like it" take it from her, threw it away and say, "OK then no need for it", and when shes not looking take it out of the trash.

I've done this to my nieces and nephews they hated it and threw a fit but was thankful for the gifts after they realized they wouldn't get it if they didn't like it and was rude about it.

i'm sure you'll figure out how to handle this, shell come out of it shes only three.

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This is a difficult one, I would probably not let her have any gifts until she learnt how to respect her things. Give her only one toy at a time to play with, tell her that she can have more when she can look after what she already has. When she says she doesn't like it then take it off her straight away and tell her that is ok, she doesn't have to like it but it will be given to somebody else or given back to the person who bought it for her. As for her being rude, I tend to be a little hard here as I will say things to my kids that others may not agree with in the hope they will understand how their words can hurt. If she tells someone she doesn't like them I'd be inclined to let that person tell her "that's ok, I don't like you either" and when she wants to know why then that will be an opportunity to explain to her what her attitude does to others. Maybe when she says she doesn't like someone, ask her why. Give her a chance to put her feelings into words. It might not be that she doesn't like the person, but maybe just the person's hair, or perfume or t-shirt. Remember that she is only three and keep explanations simple for her to understand, and when she is being kind, grateful etc. make sure she is showered with love and affection. Life for a three year old can be tough, they are learning so many social skills and most of it doesn't make sense and can be contradictory so take it easy with her and remember that she will overcome these issues with your help.

Jennifer - posted on 07/16/2012

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Thanks Michelle, I have a chair in the corner that she sits on when such events happen.. she sits in the chair for a bit screams and kicks and no matter how long she is on the chair she still will not say sorry or say why she is there, she is extremely stubborn... I really like the idea of showing her a toy and saying "you wouldnt like this"... I havent tried that, I am going to try that and see that works... Thank you.

Michelle - posted on 07/16/2012

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If your daughter is ungrateful and wants to break toys that someone else gave her..I would show her what was given to her the next time and say, "you wouldn't like this.." and give it to someone else or hide it and put it away...To where she can't find it...She may get mad and want to respect things if not given to her. If it were me...I would have to disapline her...stand her in the corner, sit her on a chair and take things away from her that she likes or simply spank her for being bad.

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