what should i do when the school isnt doing anything about my kids getting beat up on the bus

Robin - posted on 11/27/2009 ( 25 moms have responded )

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my kids are coming home every day telling me that they are getting bullied on the bus i have went to the school i have talked to the bus driver and i have called the cops my daughter came home last friday with a bruise the size of a golf ball on her leg i have to go to the school monday for a meeting . i have complained to the school about these same boys they have showed there privite parts to my daughter and when i told the school they did nothing i am very protective of my kids and i let my emotions get in the way so if anyone has advise for me to say to this school please help me out thank all you mothers yall have truly helped me

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Sharon - posted on 11/27/2009

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Make a list of complaints.

Stay calm at the meeting.

Can you send a cheap digital camera with your daughter? A cell phone? Bruises like that are the tip of the iceberg. These little brats are the same types that gang raped that poor little girl in phoenix. Bring that up. I'm not sure how you would search it, but I would find a list of cases where little girls had been bullied then raped, committed suicide etc.

yeah its over the top but maybe it'll scare the crap out of your school board.

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Christina - posted on 01/19/2013

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Don't expect anything from the schools. When I was in middle school in EVSC (Evansvile, Indiana) I repeatedly told the principal (crying mind you) every day how boys would grab my breasts. And I wasn't dressed in tight shirts, but the boys disrespected me because I was new and considered foreign. It could also be I was the only one in the school with olive skin instead of the light skin with the typical blonde hair living in that area. That principal did nothing and even told my parents "Well, boys will be boys." My parents took me out of that school after a month of it and placed me in a private school. I never had my breasts grabbed again. Yet, also at the EVSC, while in my years of K-7 grade, I had a bus driver that bullied me. I have olive skin because my family is Italian. He would call me a "dirty Mexican" and would continue to throw insults at me. He refused to let me sit down in a seat one day because "Mexicans were the last to be seated" and the bus was overfilled. He would threaten to whip me if I told my parents. A couple of times, he would before heading out of the school's parking lot, he would get out of his seat to throw his clutched first toward my face, stopping before hitting my face. The bus filed with kids would laugh at that as well as he would. I finally did tell my Dad and yet again NOTHING was done to the bus driver. He was near retirement, which this was in the 80s-90s. I am not sure if it is just shallow Indiana people that are just racists rednecks or what. I would not come to Indiana for good public education or even to be treated with respect. Those people only like "white" people that come from Germany and do not have the brains to understand that a lot of Europeans come in different colors. Yet, they are still too stupid to understand that everyone deserves respect. I just won't expect anything from the schools. I even majored in math and science thinking I would become a teacher just to change things. Yet, I would rather have my child in a Christian or private school or homeschooled off of the internet. These schools need to either get people that are not racists or shutdown and have school off the internet only. Which if we do internet schools then we shouldn't have pictures of the kids (to prevent racists). I'm telling you, Indiana is full of them and they are in the schools there because it isn't what you know but WHO you know to get a teaching job there. The government should clean house there and get better people, but that will never happen. I will not allow my child to go though all the crap I did by adults of the school system that are suppose to be role models. Those bus drivers and spineless principals need to be fired, but will never be fired. I say do not let these schools have the money they would from your wonderful child. You do realize that the schools get money from the gov't for each child enrolled in their school? I say, shut down the public schools especially if they can't treat kids with respect. Evey child is just a paycheck to those jerks. Let them have one less paycheck in their pockets and do not even work with the public school systems.

Robin - posted on 11/30/2009

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i went to the meeting today and they just dont care i am going to give them today to take care of this if thishappens again i am going to take legal action thank all of you for helping me i keeped my cool . i also printed out the effects on bullies and all that has happened to the kids that got bullied. they were throwed off by what i had to say and all the info i had on it

Theresa - posted on 11/28/2009

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Have the meeting with the school officials, Also, make sure you write down whose at this meeting and take notes of what all said if possible, then write a letter to education board, go to the next meeting, find out whose in charge of the buses, then contact a lawyer and see what your options are, then contact the media and let them know whats happening on the bus and nothing is being done. Make sure you take pictures of whats being done to your children, and if you can drive them to school until something is done, teach them also how to protect themselves, bullies always will bully those who dont defend themselves, and you might want to take them totally out of school if you have those options.

[deleted account]

File a complaint using the formal chain of command against the following:

School bus driver
Bus driver's supervisor-usually the Director of Transportation ~~~~>Also see if the
Director could attend the meeting on Monday
School Principal
School Superintendent
Board of Education

I agree with the others about sending your child to school with a video camera, but be cautious that it might get stolen from her by these bullies.

Also teaching your daughter self-defense skills, both verbal and physical, is helpful.

Definately focus on your daughter's safety as the primary goal. Instead of "What are you going to do about those bullies?" focus on "What will the school do to make my child safe?" Instead of "I want the bus driver fired", request alternate transportation, even if it means you have to drive your child to a different school bus stop.

I will also caution you against running to the news media right away since in many cases it can cause for a negative backlash not only against you, but your daughter. Use the media as a last resort. A letter to the editor actually would be better, giving other parents the opportunity to write in to comment.

I wish you all the very best.

Jane - posted on 11/28/2009

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Send a cell phone that can shoot video. It works! Share this with the school or even the boys parents. My child was bullied on the playground, no one believe him or me. I sat in my car and videotaped it. Now they believe me. Stand your ground and don't back down. I am glad your daughter feels comfortable enough to talk with you about this.

Kylie - posted on 11/27/2009

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if nufin is bein done by the school, let the school no that u r gonna get a lawyers advice and u will also take the matter to the press, sum situations here in Aust have had to have the press brought in just to get sum sort of reaction from the school. If goin through polite channels doesnt work, make sum noise, schools need to realise that parents r not gonna sit back and watch their kids get hurt, if the media gets involved, the school gets contacted by the education dept etc, big prob for them, it'll make them think twice b4 they let this cont

Kassi - posted on 11/27/2009

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go to the school board and tell them at the school you will make sure that they loose their jobs over this and you wont stop till someone is fired , then you will see some action

Joy - posted on 11/27/2009

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I had the same problem when my was in school. Had a meeting at school with me,myson,the other boys and their parents. The parents did not know that this was going on. It stopped after that.

Melissa - posted on 11/27/2009

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I have the answer as I just had this problem with my son. When your child has a problem on the bus the driver either does or does not see what is taking place. When the problem is seen and then an attempt to address it is taken this is what transpires. The bus driver has a boss at the bus barn, but the bus drivers boss has no authority over the children, so the bus driver writes up the problem and gives it to the boss. The boss in turn passes it to the principal of the school who now has the job of trying to get to the bottem of the problem. Call the Bus Barn and talk to the head honcho telling them you want to meet with them and the bus driver in the office to get everyone on the same page about what is happening. We had one meeting and resolved every issue together in less than an hour. The problem is that the bus driver has limited abilities to discipline the children and by the time it makes it to the principal it has often been long enough for the kids memories to have faded about the facts. Get everyone in the same room at the same time and you have no finger pointing about whi is or is not doing their job to protect your child you have a room full of willing participants in the resolution of all issues.

Robin - posted on 11/27/2009

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they try to stay away and not say anything but my 10yr old gets very upset because she wants to protect her 5y r old little brother she goes through alot and they are good kids . this used to be a nice neighborhood but here lately the school is full of mean mean kids

Jodi - posted on 11/27/2009

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I would do the same Robin, usually a little publicity will get someone moving. It is highly inappropriate for a school to continue to allow this kind of behaviour when they are aware that it is happening. Good luck :)

Robin - posted on 11/27/2009

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Quoting Jodi:

Where do you live Robin? I know that in Australia, I would go to the state department of education to have this looked into if the school didn't act. Also, generally, the buses are run by our local bus company's, so I'd be going through the bus company to make complaints as well (not just the bus driver).

What did the police do? Time to have someone charged with assult if noone else is doing anything about it. What are the parents of these children doing? Are they involved in these meetings too?

At worst case, I would just move schools, but you may not have that option. A friend of mine is going through similar issues with her son right now, and after trying to get it resolved, she has just decided it was easiest to move him to the Catholic school my kids go to because the bullying culture seems so ingrained in the school her kids go to that nothing is being done about it.


i have tried to talk the kids parents but they dont speak english texas  is where im from and i dont have the option to change schools i wish i did his parents really dont care the police said that i had to wait till the school did something first . well they arent so this meeting im going to monday better turn up some results or i am going to the news on this .



 

Robin - posted on 11/27/2009

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Quoting Julia:

if no one is doing anything i would find out who the kids parents are and talk to them if they dont help either, then i would get a lawyer and see if you can do something about it being an unsafe invironment for your children. How old are your kids? could you bring them to school or do they have to ride the bus?


i have talked to the parents or should i say try they dont speak english so its real hard

Robin - posted on 11/27/2009

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they have to ride the bus and i have told the bus driver to put them both in the front seat and he did but they just keep coming to where they are . i have a meeting with the board monday i will see what will happen but if nothing is done then i will take legal action im tired of all the mess no wonder my child is so angry i get the butt end of all the emotions that they are putting on my children i am in texas houston and they make their own rules so it seems

Wendy - posted on 11/27/2009

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I have 8 children from 30 to7. So I have dealt with bullies. First you need to make the bus driver put her in the front seat so that the situation can be watched. If she doesn't do that, then she should be reported. After the meeting on Monday, you need to go to the district office and report what is happening. And let them all know that if something isn't done that you will report them to the authorities! If you don't get any results then you should report the whole situation to the Child Protection Agency. Let these people understand that you mean business. As far as the boys exposing theirselves, they can be charged for sexually harassment. Ask for the sargeant of the police department, i'm sure he will do something. Good luck, and I will pray for your situation.

[deleted account]

First report the bus driver to the Department of Transportation for allowing this stuff to go on and report to the bus company. Go back to the school and talk to the principal and tell that individual that you will be happy to take legal action if it doesn't stop. You want an investigation of the situation. If that doesn't work then go to the district and talk to the board members. Then report the school to the compliance department of your state Department of Education.

Julia - posted on 11/27/2009

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if no one is doing anything i would find out who the kids parents are and talk to them if they dont help either, then i would get a lawyer and see if you can do something about it being an unsafe invironment for your children. How old are your kids? could you bring them to school or do they have to ride the bus?

Carly - posted on 11/27/2009

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That is horrible, and especially scary because it's escalating and the kids are showing their private parts.



I would also complain to the school board, the bus company who the school board rents the bus from (throw around words like lawyer and lawsuit....)



I would also talk to the parents of other kids on the same bus, see if their kids suffer the same bullying and also talk to the bully's parents (although we know that usually doesn't work because most are in denial) You can technically file charges for harrassment I think, on the parents of the kids. Do you live in the US? You can usually get a protective order against the bullies (almost like a restraining order) that will prohibit them from going near your child. This is sexual harrassment now that they have shown their privates and the whole "zero tolerance" policy that most schools have adopted should apply.



If nothing gets solved at this meeting, I would totally go to the local press with it.

Kelly - posted on 11/27/2009

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Robin,
The school is responsible for your child until they get off of the bus. Let the school know if nothing is done immediately you will go to the next school board meeting and explain how no one is doing anything, let them also know you will go to your local paper on this.
Have you tried going to the other kids parents?

Ashley - posted on 11/27/2009

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at the meeting at the school i would try to remain calm. also i would demand that the other parents are there. tell them straight up that if the school and parents dont do anything about it you will be calling a lawyer and pressing charges and suing them. i cant imaging how you feel. i know i would be out of my mind if something like that was happening to my daughter. also if you can, drive her to school if that is a possibility untill the matter is resolved. good luck!

Michaela - posted on 11/27/2009

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why don't you teach the kids how to act invisible and also standing up for their rights....that alone will tell those good-for-nothing kids that 'you' command respect.

Jodi - posted on 11/27/2009

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Where do you live Robin? I know that in Australia, I would go to the state department of education to have this looked into if the school didn't act. Also, generally, the buses are run by our local bus company's, so I'd be going through the bus company to make complaints as well (not just the bus driver).



What did the police do? Time to have someone charged with assult if noone else is doing anything about it. What are the parents of these children doing? Are they involved in these meetings too?



At worst case, I would just move schools, but you may not have that option. A friend of mine is going through similar issues with her son right now, and after trying to get it resolved, she has just decided it was easiest to move him to the Catholic school my kids go to because the bullying culture seems so ingrained in the school her kids go to that nothing is being done about it.

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