What should I do with my Baby Daddy???

Alysha - posted on 08/17/2012

There has been some trust issues between he and I, he's cheated on me several different times, has lied about where he's living and his phone keeps being shut off and or the number being changed and I'll be the last person to know about it.
He does pay child support (when he has a job) And the court is making him pay not only the back child support, but also all of the doctor visits too while I was pregnant and for every visit that was made for my daughter.
And because there was a period of months where there wouldn't be a phone call or text from him I don't think that he'll get his rights back and possibly not his visitations (at least not what he wants, every Wednesday and every weekend. Which wont happen.)
I know I should be happy and pleased with him seeing her, but at the same time, I regret it because I get to see the hurt that she's having now, now that she's not seeing her dad, talking to her dad or any of that.
I told him that I'm not going to make him have a relationship with his daughter. That if he wants it, he will have to be the one seeking it out and making an effort to be there for her. So far, he'll show it once in a while for a month, then disappear for months. So, I feel as if he does have visitations and continues this pattern, that the only person that's going to get hurt is my little girl.

Lacye - posted on 08/16/2012

You did the right thing by allowing him the chance to meet his daughter. But if he takes you to court, he will get visitation but the court will also force him to start paying child support and he will have to pay back child support for the past 2 years. He is being an ass about this whole thing, no doubt about that, but in the end it might just be better to go ahead and get everything done through the court system.

September - posted on 08/16/2012

Personally I think you've done the right thing by letting your daughter meet her father. I think that you should do all that you can to build the relationship between the two. Even if that means calling him every day until he answers. If he's not abusive and not a drug addict then it would be great for your daughter to be a part of her father's life. I wonder what is keeping him for her. Maybe there is something going on that you're not aware of. Whatever the case I wish you all the best! Good luck.

Dove - posted on 08/16/2012

Fine, but I've been there and he WILL get visitation if he actually shows up to court unless he is proven to be abusive or a proven drug abuser... in which case he would get supervised visits.

Alysha - posted on 08/16/2012

Dove,
He's only seen her 1 time in the past 2 years. He'll call once a week or a month, than vanish for 2 months.
He's lied about what he's doing, where he's working (if he's working) and where he's living. I don't see him getting visitations, supervised or not bc he's fought with me over everything, he's fought with me about her daycare and about court. Which he has failed to show up to court 2 times so he could get visitations.
I don't think he'll ever get his rights or visitations back.

Dove - posted on 08/15/2012

If he takes you to court... he will get visitation. Depending on whatever evidence you may or may not have against him... he might get supervised visitations, but he WILL get visitation. I think it is smart of you to continue to allow him to see her as is.. especially if he's not fighting about taking her alone. I wouldn't push him to see her though. As long as he knows how to contact you I'd let it be. Let him know that he needs to either set up consistent visitations and stick with it or he must give you notice (48 or more hours) to set up a random visitation. Definitely continue to let him see her, but he can't be jerking you around at the last minute. Even the courts won't allow that. They go by scheduled visitations (which he is welcome to take or miss) or giving enough notice to work out alternate arrangements.