What to do about my controlling husband.

Crysany - posted on 12/15/2009 ( 41 moms have responded )

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He hates facebook, hates my friends, I never get to do anything with anyone. I hate feeling like Im in the house, just me and my daughter all day. It sucks. He is making me delete my facebook today. What should I do..

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Amber - posted on 12/16/2009

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Hi Crysany



I don't want to say stay and put up with this.. but he's your husband and he deserves to be listened to. If his approach comes across as abusive, angry, controlling or degrading, then his approach needs to be adjusted, the relationship doens't need to end because your communication skills need to be improved on. There are 2 people in your marriage and with a little bit of professional advice, you two could easily improve on this. As long as you are both honest with yourseles, and both listen to eachother, someone could easily step in and fill whatever gap is in your marriage to avoid a further blowup.. which I can sense you fear?...



. As a wife, you need to find the strength to really try and see his message through the fuzz of method. When you get upset and cry and tell him to go away.. you're really saying " you're making me upset, I'm hurt and I need you to listen".. so maybe he's saying something else by " making " you delete your internet account?. Maybe he feels threatened with how much time you spend on it or maybe he feels like you aren't paying any attention to him.. this deleting the account he feels would help him.. when in reality, you're angry at him for something and facebook is a distraction?...Im not a psychologist.. but you need to adjust your focus here, and his method might not be so sweet and innocent, but my guess is he's tried to ask you about this for a while now?



This is of course a childish and immature method of getting attention.. but men can be babies themselves and maybe his " control" is his way of saying " hey, remember me?"

It can easily turn mean and rude without him even knowing it.

In a healthy relationship, a couple should be able to respectfully address and solve concerns with one another, especially when it jepordizes the realtionship.



My guess is something like this has been going on for a while, he;s made a few complaints about your facebook usage and yet , you've ignored them or p[assed them off as un-important?



Even if you don't agree or don't understand, when your husband has something to address, he deserves to be listend to and respected.



If he's got a controlling attitude with you, then I agree, no one deserves that treatment. On the other hand, you need to look into what it is that he's really saying. Is he concerned about facebook itself, of the amount of time you spend on the internet period?



Being a new mom is tough, and being a mom all alone at home is even more of a struggle. Maybe you need to have a talk with him about what he EXPECTS you to do while at home in order to stay happy, secure and interactive with your circle. Agree on a new method of interacting.. can anyone come visit you? can you sign up for something?, can you limit your internet activity?.. I'm guessing you don't live outin the middle of no-where.. so why not try connecting with a fellow neigbor or other mother in your area?



I can sympathize with your feelings of loneliness and isolation- that isn't ok. If he's really isolating you, alienating you and controlling you, then yes, something needs to be done about this. Most times, woman end up having to leave. An abuser is in denial and is always reluctant to see their fault, admit their fault and fix their fault.

If he's not really an abuser, and your only problem is how much time you each spend ignorning eachother, then you don't need to leave, you need to honor your vows and spend some energy working on some issues in your marriage.



I suggest this amazing book for both husbands and wives. It's a great simple read, very funny at times. It's called " Love and respect" by Dr. E Eggerichs.



God Bless,



All the best for the holiday season



Amber

Krista - posted on 12/15/2009

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Quoting Crysany:



Quoting Shelagh:

You have some rights which he can't take away from you - you have the right to communicate with whoever you please, to go out whenever and wherever you please. If he is taking those rights away from you - no matter how 'well' he justifies himself - you NEED to do something about it. Ask yourself these questions - if I fancy going out for a walk tomorrow afternoon, will that be OK with him? If I fancy giving my Mum/best mate a quick call this evening, will that be OK? If the answer (for whatever reason) is no, then it's time to act.
There are men out there who are not like this - and you don't have to put up with it. Yes, it's tough out there on your own - but believe me, it's tougher where you are right now.
Be brave.






He will let me go on a walk, and I can call/text anyone anytime. So it isnt too bad.






He has never thrown anything at me till today. And we are going to talk, making list of eachothers problems. And Im going to say we should go to counciling, cause I agree.





Yes, definitely insist on counselling, and lots of it. There are some serious problems going on with your relationship and with trust issues. Those need to be worked out if your relationship is to have a hope in hell of succeeding. 





Edited to add: I reiterate -- do NOT leave your mom's place until you've had a few counselling sessions and are happy with how things are going. It would be all too easy for him to promise to go to counselling, you come back home, and nothing changes. Be careful. You have yourself AND your daughter to think about.



And stop making excuses for him. We are all responsible for our own behaviour. He CHOSE to throw that phone at you. I had issues early on in my marriage with online flirting, and while my husband was rip-roaring mad, not ONCE did I feel physically threatened. Your husband needs to hear from a third party that his tactics are harming your marriage.

Donna - posted on 12/15/2009

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First of all I have a few questions. 1) How long have you been married? 2) Has he always been like this? 3) Has he always hated your friends? 4) I notice that you have a baby, is he (your husband) feeling neglected?
I am not implying that it is your fault I am just trying to get the entire picture...What is his reason for "making" you delete your facebook page? Marriage is a partnership, does he work? Do you work?
Most of the post have been quick to jump right in and say basically get rid of him. That is what is wrong with families today. Marriage takes a lot of work on both parts. You both need to make sure that you work together. If you are staying at home taking care of your daughter and keeping the house clean and meals prepared then there is no reason you should have to give up your friends and other things as long as your family comes first. Remember why you married him, I know being a new mom can be very tiring but running a home is like running a company, make list's, keep a calendar, plan weekly schedule. I wish you luck and will pray that you and your husband can work through this. God Bless
If he is abusive then you should LEAVE!

Krista - posted on 12/15/2009

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Quoting Crysany:

Thank you everyone, well, the fight happened early this morning, and my mom picked me up, and my daughter and I are over there. Well, my husband calmed down. One reason he hates facebook, right after I had the baby, I felt gross, and all I mean before I was only 95 lbs.. but I got a little flirty with a friend of his. Well he found out, and we got through that, but now since, he hates me being on.. BUT he checks it, he knows I am not on it doing anything. So that is why I cant understand why he is being like this. As for abuse.. this morning he threw my phone at me, while I was holding our baby. Thats the only thing he has ever done phsyically, as for emotionally.. he just tries to keep me at home, if I go somewhere I just have to make sure he knows where, and not with someone he doesnt like.. uhh.. so thats all, maybe some more advice now you all no more??


If he checks it, and can see perfectly well that nothing is going on, then why would he make you cancel your account? It makes no sense. 



And  you're not allowed to go anywhere with any friends that he doesn't like? Also not cool. 



And the phone-throwing? Inexcusable, whether you were holding your baby or not. He's trying to control you, and he's got a wicked temper -- neither of which bode well for your happiness. I'm glad your mom picked you up. 



Be careful, though -- he'll probably be as sweet as sugar now, and make all sorts of promises in order to get you to come back. But you guys have some serious issues to work out. I would tell him that you want to go to counselling, and STAY AT YOUR MOM'S until you guys have had a few sessions and you can see some real progress. 

Linda - posted on 12/15/2009

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Hello Crysany...I understand your situation and I have to tell ya there is no easy way around this. Attempt to have a one on one conversation as adults. No screamming...fighting...ect. If he can listen to your side and then you listen to his reasons. Then both of you make a decision together on how to compromise. It sounds easier than done. If he does not want to sit and listen then you know what to do. Let him know if he can't sit and talk to you then why even be in a relationship??
It is possiable he has reasons to try to stop you from communicating with friends & or family. Find out what they are. Deal with the real issues. Mabey you will find out he is afraid or jealous of losing you. Let him know he is choking the life out of you and you need space like he has eveyday he leaves for work/school..ect. Anyway...get to the real issue... that is the key. Hope you find this helpful and wish the best for your family. ~LMOwens

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Linda - posted on 01/03/2014

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A controlling person will never stop their behaviour, I have put up with it for forty seven years its rocked my life he needs help from the mental health services I hope things getter better for you

Chrystal - posted on 09/19/2013

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i'm dealing with the same problem....i believe my husband is controlling but i sometimes feel like i might have it all wrong. it confuses the hell out of me. he controls our finances, i get a monthly allowance of $250.00 (I'm a stay at home mom with one child), he makes all of the decisions regarding what groceries to buy, what to do on the weekend. he contradicts everything i do with regard to our child...it's a constant battle trying to get him on the same page. he tells me what to make for dinner and how to make it. when i was working, he would drive me to the bank every payday and bully me into withdrawing every penny i earned. he doesn't support the things i'm interested in and if there is something i want to do, ie. take a course about switching to a whole food diet, he denies my request because it costs money. i've asked for a cell phone, he asked me to draft a list stating the reasons why i believed a cell phone would be useful. and it,s not like we're broke. he has a very good, well paying job. my clothes are old a raggedy. we don't have any friends. he only wants to hang out with his family on the weekends and because of our cultural differences, i always end up feleing like an outsider, like i'm being judged. his family, on multiple occasions, have come to our home and will speak to each other in their own language which leaves me feeling excluded and like nothing more than a servant....in my own home!

i've told him several times, that i wasn't happy. i feel like my soul is dying. i asked for a divorce but he always starts talking about everything that he does for me, he cries, he says he doesn't want our daughter growing up in a broken home. he makes me feel bad, like i'm not being understanding. he recently wrote me a three page letter professing his love for me and how will will try to do better and how he is sorry if he failed me in anyway. this is the pattern.

does this sound like a toxic relationship? i know things won't change...once he feels comfortable again, things will just return to the way they were.

i've talked to a lawyer. the lawyer stated that i didn't feel like i was in an equal relationship which is grounds to leave. i just can't tell anymore. am i being too unreasonable? i look at other women i know that are married and they seem happy, active and are pursuing things they are interested in....i often feel jealous of them because i am so miserable.

any thoughts?

Sarah - posted on 11/15/2011

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i know exactly how you feel!!! mine made me delete mine too! we're going to see a counselor, i recommend the same

Katherine - posted on 12/16/2009

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I dont think that is someone you should be with. Was he like this when you first met him? If not then it has progressed to him telling you what to do, when and with who. If you think about it, it could possibly get worse. Think about the well being of your child. I would talk to someone that handles abusive relationships. They can tell you what types of things can come from a person like that, so you know what to expect. It might give you the insight you need. I would also tell him that if he is going to be controlling then you are going to have the police involved or you are going to leave. If he decides to pull something crazy and hurt you or anything, then you have someone who knows about whats going on. I would even consider talking to a police officer. Tell him that you have fear for your life. If it gets bad enough you could get a restraining order. I know you might be thinking about your child and not having the father figure around. But that is not as important as yours and your child's life. I say get yourself the heck out of that situation. It sounds as if things are only going to get worse.

Jessica - posted on 12/16/2009

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Quoting Crysany:





He will let me go on a walk, and I can call/text anyone anytime. So it isnt too bad.






He has never thrown anything at me till today. And we are going to talk, making list of eachothers problems. And Im going to say we should go to counciling, cause I agree.





Listen to yourself!  Yes, it IS that bad.  You shouldn't need his permission to do much.  The only things I ask my husband about is finances and something that concerns our child.  Everything else that goes on in my life is up to me.  Just like what he does is up to him.  I don't leave him out of it, but if I'm going out, I don't ask him; I tell him.  Do you have any idea how many times I'd said that while I was in the worst relationship of my life?  I constantly was finding things that made it "not so bad" when in reality all I was doing was giving up my life for someone who didn't deserve it. 



I'm all for trying to work it out, but you need to talk about more than just the fight earlier.  You need to tell him he's being ridiculous!  My huband isn't really fond of my friends either but he doesn't have to hang with them..they aren't his friends.  Believe me, if you don't resolve it now it's only going to get worse.  But if he's unwilling to change, you need to leave.  I flirted with other guys when I was in that awful relationship too because I was so miserable and wouldn't admit it to myself.  I knew deep down it wasn't right and I was looking for someone to get me out.  Getting "a little bit flirty" with one of his friends is no reason to delete the whole thing. 



What he's really saying when he wants to check behind you is "I don't trust you."



 



 

Michelle - posted on 12/16/2009

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Take control of your own life and if you can't do it with him then get rid of him while you still can. Unfortunately these situations often turn into battering and even worse. I see it often in my practice (I am a psychologist).

Michelle - posted on 12/16/2009

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Leave him! Call ur friends or ur family to come get u and help u pack. I know it will hurt soo much but give it time to get over him then u will be happy again. U got ur daughter to think about. U wouldnt want ur daughter to grow up watching ur husband controlling u and using wrong words around her :)

Nicola - posted on 12/15/2009

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A difficult one, many varied responses but I know what I would do. I would put my foot down, you need a life too. He gets to go to work and have 'adult' time, you don't and we all need 'me' time. If putting your foot down makes no difference, as difficult as it is, you need to get out. If he is controlling with you, is he going to be the same with your daughter when she wants her own life too?

Denise - posted on 12/15/2009

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He wont change and you are far to young to be this unhappy. Im sorry to say that a friend of mine had this situation and it turned out he was so controlling because he was cheating and stringing other girls along. He thought if she didnt go out and have friends she wouldnt of found out about it. People who say it will get better when the children are older are living in a fantasy world, now he knows he can control you he always will. Get your mind into thinking '' MYSELF AND CHILD DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS'' If he respected you he wouldnt treat you like this

Sara - posted on 12/15/2009

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It's called a toxic relationship. The way I see it, you have two choices. Insist on counseling (because the problem will only get worse) or end the relationship. Sorry, but that's how I see it.

Renee - posted on 12/15/2009

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Sounds like you are making excuses. Don't give reasons for his behavior. The counseling is a good start...The cycle is a long one. It starts off this way and can stay like this for a long time before the next step takes place. Throwing is the second stage and actual contact is to follow. It is a pattern that has been proven. The "I'm sorries and gift giving and I won't do it again" only last for a little while before the first stage of controlling picks up again. Don't let him hurt your daughter to make you leave...you need to stop it before it gets there.

Crysany - posted on 12/15/2009

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Quoting Donna:

First of all I have a few questions. 1) How long have you been married? 2) Has he always been like this? 3) Has he always hated your friends? 4) I notice that you have a baby, is he (your husband) feeling neglected?
I am not implying that it is your fault I am just trying to get the entire picture...What is his reason for "making" you delete your facebook page? Marriage is a partnership, does he work? Do you work?
Most of the post have been quick to jump right in and say basically get rid of him. That is what is wrong with families today. Marriage takes a lot of work on both parts. You both need to make sure that you work together. If you are staying at home taking care of your daughter and keeping the house clean and meals prepared then there is no reason you should have to give up your friends and other things as long as your family comes first. Remember why you married him, I know being a new mom can be very tiring but running a home is like running a company, make list's, keep a calendar, plan weekly schedule. I wish you luck and will pray that you and your husband can work through this. God Bless
If he is abusive then you should LEAVE!



1) We've been married almost a year, Im 18, hes now 19.



2) No, In the beginning I was more jealous and stuff. But I got over that once we got married. He is recently like this about 4 months ago. Right before she was born.



3)He just doesnt like people I was friends with before, because I was in a bad crowd.



4) I dont believe hes feeling neglected at all. I mean, hes almost more mommy than me, lol.



I dont work Im a stay at home mom. And he is making me delete it, he says he jsut hates facebook.. idk..

Kelly - posted on 12/15/2009

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do not let him do this, if you want to see people or go on face book he shouldnt be dictating that to you. you are your own person, nobody should be told what to do, only a mother can do that.

Crysany - posted on 12/15/2009

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Quoting Donna:

First of all I have a few questions. 1) How long have you been married? 2) Has he always been like this? 3) Has he always hated your friends? 4) I notice that you have a baby, is he (your husband) feeling neglected?
I am not implying that it is your fault I am just trying to get the entire picture...What is his reason for "making" you delete your facebook page? Marriage is a partnership, does he work? Do you work?
Most of the post have been quick to jump right in and say basically get rid of him. That is what is wrong with families today. Marriage takes a lot of work on both parts. You both need to make sure that you work together. If you are staying at home taking care of your daughter and keeping the house clean and meals prepared then there is no reason you should have to give up your friends and other things as long as your family comes first. Remember why you married him, I know being a new mom can be very tiring but running a home is like running a company, make list's, keep a calendar, plan weekly schedule. I wish you luck and will pray that you and your husband can work through this. God Bless
If he is abusive then you should LEAVE!



1) We've been married almost a year, Im 18, hes now 19.



2) No, In the beginning I was more jealous and stuff. But I got over that once we got married. He is recently like this about 4 months ago. Right before she was born.



3)He just doesnt like people I was friends with before, because I was in a bad crowd.



4) I dont believe hes feeling neglected at all. I mean, hes almost more mommy than me, lol.



I dont work Im a stay at home mom. And he is making me delete it, he says he jsut hates facebook.. idk..

Elizabeth - posted on 12/15/2009

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If I was with anyone that was that controlling than i would tell him to get a "NEW LIIFE" because I would n't wanting that person to be ruining my life.

Kelsey - posted on 12/15/2009

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Facebook isnt worth your relationship is it? If you are constantly unhappy and he is as controlling as he sounds, I wouldnt put up with it. Its just hard to tell you that because you are married and have kids. I dont ever want to advise someone to break up their family. Now probobly isnt the time to make such a decision. Ask him why your friends and facebook bother him so much. Does he not trust you? Without trust a relationship just doesnt work. You either need to fix him or leave him if he continues to dictate your life and disregard your needs. You are obviously having a power struggle. If I were you, I would say, we are going to marriage counseling or we are going to be doomed.

Crysany - posted on 12/15/2009

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Quoting Shelagh:

You have some rights which he can't take away from you - you have the right to communicate with whoever you please, to go out whenever and wherever you please. If he is taking those rights away from you - no matter how 'well' he justifies himself - you NEED to do something about it. Ask yourself these questions - if I fancy going out for a walk tomorrow afternoon, will that be OK with him? If I fancy giving my Mum/best mate a quick call this evening, will that be OK? If the answer (for whatever reason) is no, then it's time to act.
There are men out there who are not like this - and you don't have to put up with it. Yes, it's tough out there on your own - but believe me, it's tougher where you are right now.
Be brave.



He will let me go on a walk, and I can call/text anyone anytime. So it isnt too bad.



He has never thrown anything at me till today. And we are going to talk, making list of eachothers problems. And Im going to say we should go to counciling, cause I agree.

Christina - posted on 12/15/2009

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That's an issue that will only be resolved by him getting help or you leaving. I was once with a controlling man and I thought "it's going to get better" for a long time almost 3 yeas. Well it didn't until I left. If he's controlling, it's because he has low self asteem, the only thing to help that is therapy and himself. You have to just do what's best fo you and your child, and let him figure it out for himself. !!!! Fight for womens rights!!!

Crysany - posted on 12/15/2009

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Quoting Shelagh:

You have some rights which he can't take away from you - you have the right to communicate with whoever you please, to go out whenever and wherever you please. If he is taking those rights away from you - no matter how 'well' he justifies himself - you NEED to do something about it. Ask yourself these questions - if I fancy going out for a walk tomorrow afternoon, will that be OK with him? If I fancy giving my Mum/best mate a quick call this evening, will that be OK? If the answer (for whatever reason) is no, then it's time to act.
There are men out there who are not like this - and you don't have to put up with it. Yes, it's tough out there on your own - but believe me, it's tougher where you are right now.
Be brave.



He will let me go on a walk, and I can call/text anyone anytime. So it isnt too bad.



He has never thrown anything at me till today. And we are going to talk, making list of eachothers problems. And Im going to say we should go to counciling, cause I agree.

Shelagh - posted on 12/15/2009

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You have some rights which he can't take away from you - you have the right to communicate with whoever you please, to go out whenever and wherever you please. If he is taking those rights away from you - no matter how 'well' he justifies himself - you NEED to do something about it. Ask yourself these questions - if I fancy going out for a walk tomorrow afternoon, will that be OK with him? If I fancy giving my Mum/best mate a quick call this evening, will that be OK? If the answer (for whatever reason) is no, then it's time to act.
There are men out there who are not like this - and you don't have to put up with it. Yes, it's tough out there on your own - but believe me, it's tougher where you are right now.
Be brave.

Crysany - posted on 12/15/2009

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Thank you everyone, well, the fight happened early this morning, and my mom picked me up, and my daughter and I are over there. Well, my husband calmed down. One reason he hates facebook, right after I had the baby, I felt gross, and all I mean before I was only 95 lbs.. but I got a little flirty with a friend of his. Well he found out, and we got through that, but now since, he hates me being on.. BUT he checks it, he knows I am not on it doing anything. So that is why I cant understand why he is being like this. As for abuse.. this morning he threw my phone at me, while I was holding our baby. Thats the only thing he has ever done phsyically, as for emotionally.. he just tries to keep me at home, if I go somewhere I just have to make sure he knows where, and not with someone he doesnt like.. uhh.. so thats all, maybe some more advice now you all no more??

Starla - posted on 12/15/2009

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well thats a rough life for anyone to live i use to be with this guy which we had a baby together he would always control me simular to you i was never allowed to do anything i wanted to just leave but i kept telling myself it would get better it never did it got worst i finally had to give him the choice either change or im leaving if he dont believe it go stay somewheres he dont know for a couple of nights and he should change his whole attitude...good luck!

Rachael - posted on 12/15/2009

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Gotta agree with Cindy Stilphen, I wouldnt just jump up and leave, it may be his way off telling you that he need ur attention... try talking it out.. i wouldnt tolerate what he has been doing either, but atleast try too figure out why hes being like it..

Jessica - posted on 12/15/2009

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Quoting Brooke:

Oh honey that sucks!! Darlin' I think it's either time for an ultimatum, suggesting counselling, or do some soul searching on your part to see if you really need to continue this cycle to abuse. What he does is a form of abuse! You cannot for your daughter's sake continue to let this happen, you will teach her to think this behavior is normal for men and relationships. How does his dad treat his mom? Prolly the same I am guessing? If not then talk to his mom and see why he is this way and/or how he got thisway. That is my suggestion. You are a person all on your own, you all are a couple but you are a human being and deserve to be treated as such. He is trying to break your spirit by controlling every move you make. You are not a child and he is not your father or your keeper and maybe you need to tell him that. You are his wife, his equal not his minion or servent or child! I hope that my advice helps.


agree 100%!  

Katie - posted on 12/15/2009

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You're not alone!! That's for sure. I'm not sure what to do -- but know you're not alone. It'll get better when the baby is bigger.

Jessica - posted on 12/15/2009

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I lost a lot of really good friends because I was with a guy who was the same way. He would go through my phone and delete their numbers, check my emails, and I wasn't allowed to leave the house without him or in an outfit he didn't approve of. I lost all sense of who I was and he was NOT worth it. Please get out. You are stronger than you think. It's hard to do but it's completely worth it. Don't let anyone but yourself run your life. Feel free to add me on Facebook (because you're not deleting yours just because he wants you to!) if you need someone to talk to. Good luck, hun.

Krista - posted on 12/15/2009

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He's trying to isolate you from everybody but himself. That is a BIG red flag. Men who abuse usually start out that way -- they then know that their victim is less likely to try to leave, because she won't feel like she has anywhere to turn. Are there any local mommies groups you can join, or would he prevent you from any form of socializing? If he won't allow you ANY form of socializing, call for help, because it's not going to get better. In fact, it'll likely get a lot, lot worse.



I want you to call your local domestic abuse hotline. Most countries have one (just make sure you clear your search engine afterwards -- if he finds out, it could get ugly.) Call them, and tell them exactly what is going on. They will give you advice, support and resources, and will help you out if you do decide that you've had enough of this.

Brooke - posted on 12/15/2009

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Oh honey that sucks!! Darlin' I think it's either time for an ultimatum, suggesting counselling, or do some soul searching on your part to see if you really need to continue this cycle to abuse. What he does is a form of abuse! You cannot for your daughter's sake continue to let this happen, you will teach her to think this behavior is normal for men and relationships. How does his dad treat his mom? Prolly the same I am guessing? If not then talk to his mom and see why he is this way and/or how he got thisway. That is my suggestion. You are a person all on your own, you all are a couple but you are a human being and deserve to be treated as such. He is trying to break your spirit by controlling every move you make. You are not a child and he is not your father or your keeper and maybe you need to tell him that. You are his wife, his equal not his minion or servent or child! I hope that my advice helps.

Cindy - posted on 12/15/2009

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It depends on how far this goes. If he is jealous of other friends maybe he is seeking your attention. Do you do special things for him? I stayed home with my daughter for 3 1/2 yrs. and it was difficult. I got a part time job at that point and having outside interaction helped me. Will he talk to you about what he is feeling?

Helen - posted on 12/15/2009

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gotta agree with the others,if he can't let you be yourself, go.after 7 years of mariage to a controlling husband and a suicide attempt i have now found my soul mate, we have a 9 month old and i'm pregnant again

Morgan - posted on 12/15/2009

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That is stupid! My husband use to be like that! That is why he is my ex! U need to tell him to wise up. I was with my husband for 17 years and had 4 kids with him. It was hard tell him but believe it or not that was the best thing that I could have ever done for both me and my kids!! Now I can say that I am with someone who actually cares and wants to be there for me and not smoother me. Good Luck!!!! Morgan

Molly - posted on 12/15/2009

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uh, leave. they will never change unless you do something dramatic. sometimes leaving does change a man and knock him into reality.

Samantha - posted on 12/15/2009

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say no and get out now i went through the same thing for 2yrs and finally got the courage to leave. there is a big wide world outside ur walls waiting for u to enjoy and i can tell u that happiness is probably just around the corner cause thats where i found mine. good luck and be brave

Brittany - posted on 12/15/2009

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put your foot down and let him know just because he is miserable with his life he doesnt need to make you miserable as well tell him you are not going to do what he says and that it is ridiculous that he is trying to make you a hermit

Jennifer - posted on 12/15/2009

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why are you putting up with this I did that for 14years until I almost got killed over it you need to have your own identity to. Dont put up with this.

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