Genevieve - posted on 02/03/2012 ( 46 moms have responded )
I'm having some real problems and I dont know how to address them. Hoping for some constructive ideas or stories about how others have handled this. Or would handle it.
My MIL (mom in law), is a Pastor. So that means that my hubby grew up going to church every weekend. And that was fine but his mom said when he was 18 that he didnt have to go anymore. And he stopped. He has not been to church in years.
I have non Christian beliefs. I do belive in Jesus. I just do not belive he is my saviour. I do believe in God. But I also belive that there are other things. I do not go to church and havent since I was 5years old. I have nothing personally against organised religion. I am just not personally Christian.
The problem has been building since my daughter was born. She is going to be 6 in May. We do not take her to church. Hubby and I agreed before we were married that neither of us would push religion on her. And if she ever wanted to start going to church my husband would take her if he felt he wanted to start attending again. But this has not happened. And we are perfectly fine with that. She is not missing out on anything. Hubby and I are both spiritual and thankful people.
But when every single holiday and every single special occasion is marked by my MIL giving my daughter something religious... well I'm starting to get very bothered. At Christmas she brought my daughter yet another Nativity book. That means we actually have 5 completely different Nativity Stories. Not to mention the Baby Bible as well as a Childrens Bible. We have about 10 other Christian based items from her.
I feel like as a parent I am not pushing MY beliefs on my daughter. Yet I can tell from the way she is that she is very science minded. She is already a firm believer in evolution. She will argue it out with her Christian friends. She watches everything she can about nature and prehistoric animals.
So if I'm her parent and I'm not teaching her about my religion and my husband feels he is still finding out what he thinks ( he has his own issues with alot of the bible). And if we are frustrated by the situation how do we start sayin NO. No we dont want all of this. No when you come for a visit it is NOT the right time to pour religion all over our daughter. It seems she is so incredibly focused on the religion that she is missing out on who my daughter really is. And I can tell that my daughter is uncomfortable too. And she was so stressed out at Christmas that my husband thought she was ill. Until I explained that she was just so stressed out that she looked like hell.
I dont want to hurt any feelings. But I have a feeling that might have to happen. Ideas?