WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR 12-14 YEAR OLD IS PREGNANT AND ABORTION IS NOT AN OPTION......

Shaquita - posted on 03/03/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I AM CURIOUS TO FIND OUT WHAT EVERYONES OPINIONS ARE ON THIS SUBJECT...THE LAW STATES THAT IF YOU FORCE HER TO ABORT CHILD WELFARE WILL REMOVE HER FROM THE HOME. SHE DOESNT WANT TO GIVE THE BABY AWAY EITHER. SHE WANTS AND THINKS SHE CAN RAISE A CHILD AT THE TENDER AGE OF 12-14.

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Jess - posted on 03/03/2010

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Well firstly I would secretly want to kick her butt !!! And oh would I want to get my hands on the boy that had the nerve to get that close to my daughter.... but having said that (I know it does take 2). I would support my daughter. I would want to bring together my family and the babies father's family to create a big support network. I would treat her like my daughter, and also treat her like a mother. Make her grow up very quickly while still being there for her, to be her bumpers when she falls down and hits her head !



That baby is going to need parents, and if those parents are young teenagers then that baby will also need its grandparents ! Good solid grandparents who will ALWAYS be there. It really comes down to loving your children unconditionally and standing by them despite how silly their choice's may be. And a baby is a blessing regardless of the circumstances. Your children will be good parents if you model good parenting to them ! This actually happened at my school... and they made it work, the grandparents supported them, and they took turns living at each other's houses with their baby. It worked they were happy and continued at school and their son was well taken care of ! With enough love and support and understanding you can make it work !

Nancy - posted on 06/07/2011

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Here is my two cents...you think you are old enough to have sex...you are old enough to raise a child...enough said...

Carmel - posted on 03/04/2010

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I have cared for girls as young as 11 having babies. 1 girl was told she had to keep the baby as punishment & another was given no option but to keep the baby.
Personally I would like to think that parents would be supportive of a young daughters decision.

Iridescent - posted on 03/03/2010

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In some states, pregnancy is an automatic Emancipation. This would make her legally an adult, regardless of age. That said, you can not force her to abort, or to give up the baby, but you no longer have to provide support to either her or the baby. I personally would not want to see a child that cannot even legally get a job yet try to survive on her own with an infant, but some people do kick out their children for this. They ARE able to go into foster care, as support for themselves and their baby (which they can keep). It's something that all the options would have to be looked at before a decision is made on anyone's part.

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Elise - posted on 03/04/2010

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the main thing you can do is be there to support and guide her if she wants to keep the baby help her become the best mum she can!! maturity levels in this young girl will impact her ability to parent but with love guidance and support it can be done! good luck

Dree - posted on 03/03/2010

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This coming from somebody that had her first child at 14...Dont push her into making a decision. Allow her to make her it on her own. Provide her with the pros and cons on keeping the child as well as giving the child up for adoption. If she even shows the slightest interest in adoption see if you can look into open adoption. This way she will still be able to have some knowledge into her childs life and well being.

Personally, I gave mine up for adoption. I wasnt living in a very safe enviroment for myself and didnt want to risk my daughter being harmed. I did this all on my own...no help from parents or family. I decided upon open adoption. In fact, I was her babysitter until she turned 2!!! She will be 18 this year and is the most beautiful young lady I've laid eyes upon.

Remind your child that keeping the baby will make it alot harder to attend school. That she'll have to get a job when she is old enough to help pay for diapers and what not. That there will be fewer dates and parties for her. Dont tell her this to try to steer her from wanting the baby though. Assure her that you are on her side no matter what she decides to do. That she is still your daughter and that you LOVE her. Dont ever let her think you dont like her because of this. She needs your love now more than ever!!

Kathy - posted on 03/03/2010

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Even though I would run through every emotion from anger to disappointment-I would support and help my child. I would make sure she finishes high school-her social life would pretty much suck except for prom. Also she would be required to work part-time. She would also have to parent her child as much as possible-those night time feedings can get exhausting. I would love my daughter and grandchild no matter what and I would make sure both would be taken care of.

Sheree - posted on 03/03/2010

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My opinion if both abortion (which i dont agree with anyway) and adoption are out of the question would be that if they are big enough to have sex and have a child, they are big enough to do it themselves. I know it sounds harsh, but i would make them live by themselves and raise the baby. But at the same time i would hope that I raised my daughter to be able to tell me when she was ready to have sex and we could organise the right birth control for her before it was too late. I was always VERY close with my mum and told her before hand that I needed to go on the pill. There was no chance for me to fall pregnant, and i hope my daughter could do the same with me. The only time I think it would be different would be if my daughter was raped like Lisamarie said.

Lisamarie - posted on 03/03/2010

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I'm guessing this is hypothetical, as 12-14 is non specific. I think, personally, that 12 is a lot younger than 14, only two years, but mentally you can grow a lot in 2 years. Anyway, that being said, I do not believe in abortion, unless for health reasons or in the case of rape. I'm curious to know your laws on adoption? Can you not give the baby up to a family that wants and could care for it? I know you said this wasn't an option but people do change their minds as the pregnancy goes on.

But when it comes down to it, the baby is not your child. You, legally, have no say in what happens to that baby and all we can do as parents is help them along the way.

I, honestly, have no idea what I'd do in that situation (my daughters only 3! lol) but I'd like to think I'd handle it in the best way for my family. :)

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