What to do when your 7 year old refuses to obey?

Emilie - posted on 02/09/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son is 7, he always does things to purposely annoy me. Like if I tell him to clean his room he just shoves everything in a corner, or under his bed or piles it up in the closet. If I tell him to throw something in the trash he goes and hides it in a corner somewhere. When I tell him to take trash to the dumpster he goes and puts it on the side of the building.

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Sarah - posted on 02/09/2010

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Set up a reward system for when he does what you ask such as a sticker chart or something else he likes. I bought a set of coloured gel pens for my son. He can 'earn' one a day by good behaviour. Also he loses one for misbehaviour. It's working at the moment!

Edna - posted on 02/09/2010

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please start with the time out process and stick to it, if he does not do as you wish, have a place where you can watch him and sit him, 1minute for every year, so 7 minutes, after you sit him, tell him why he is sitting there and for how long, let him know that if he gets up, it will only add minutes to his already minutes, and turn n walk away, if and when the time is up, go to him and make sure you are at eye level with him, and ask him if he knows why he was in time out, let him tell you, or explain to him again, just remember when you ask him to help or do something to say it with encouragement, like will you please take the trash to the dumpster, or it sure would be nice if your room was nice n clean to play with you. and remember to praise him for doing a good thing, or for trying to do something, and failing, he is young so doing it right is not always going to happen, if he goes to clean his room, and its all in the corner, get at eye level, and say, thank you so much for trying to clean your room, that was a good job, but now lets put the things where they go, and it will look better. words of encouragement always go further with a child, and it makes them feel good, and they will want to do it more and better next time. always remember to praise your child, for the smallest of thing, that no one else will notice.

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Renee - posted on 02/12/2010

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My rule of thumb is reward the good behavior and use tough love on the bad. Which for my kids is take away their favorite thing(s). My kids get their computers taken away, TV priveledges, etc if they have bad behavior. Good behavior we go have ice cream out somewhere, something they like.

Kathy - posted on 02/12/2010

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I institue the good old timeout. A chair is placed in a boring room-like the diningroom-where he can not see any tv. His 7 mins start when he is quiet and still. After that he still has to do as asked or back to timeout. It sucks for the hardheads but effective. Good luck!

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