What would be a fair amount of time to ground an 11 year old for consistently misbehaving in school?

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Jodi - posted on 09/27/2012

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Personally, I think it really depends on what behaviour we are talking about and the consequences the school has imposed. I know that when my son has had detention over something, I will discuss with him my disappointment in his behaviour, but the after school detention, and then the fact that he has to find his own way home after that, has always been punishment enough, because he has never repeated the behaviour after that. I do think that the consequences should be a combined effort between school and parent, so discuss the consequences with the school, and maybe have a behaviour contract in place, where your child is accountable to both the school and yourself, and the consequences are very clearly outlined in advance.

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Tamara - posted on 10/01/2012

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I found that at that age just grounding wasn't what made the difference. it was what do they "play" with the most! my guys liked different things.one the computer, the other the tv, the other hid phone.

so when I grounded them it was from the thing they loved the most. it didn't have to be more than a week or two but not having the thing they wanted or the places they went . only to come home to do chores and homework without the playthings and only allowed to read! well it helped them to remember why they were in trouble and that they didnt want to be there again! if they are an avid reader already then you might want to pick something having to do with school that they have to read only! anyway I hope this helps. good luck! BTW I raised 3 sons. so been there done that! take care!

Carolyne - posted on 09/30/2012

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I would say the most important thing is to find out why he/she is misbehaving? What is the teacher doing to deal with it? It could be for various reasons but often is due to insecurity and wanting to become popular with peers, and also work avoidance, if the student is struggling. Rather than grounding the child, why not work on a 'contract' where the child identifies ways he/she can improve on current behaviour, and what things are causing the behaviour and how these can be addressed. Maybe have some short term goals, so a week with good behaviour gets some sort of reward, etc. HOpe this helps.

Vicki - posted on 09/27/2012

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The schools my children have attended dont tolerate disruptive behavour, There is consenquences for their behavour. I have seen kids loose their privalage to go on a upcoming school trip or special activity, I have seen kids be asked to leave the classroom with their school work and do it at the pricipals office, loose a recess break get a detention and have to stay after school. I have also seen the school call home when the behavour has gone on to long and request a meeting with the parents, teacher, the child and the pricipal to come up with a action plan to improve behavour

Dove - posted on 09/27/2012

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If my kid ever got in real trouble at school there WOULD be consequences at home too. Raising my kid isn't the school's job. The appropriate punishment at home would depend on a variety of factors though... like what the misbehavior at school is, how long it has been going on, what is the school doing about it, what have I already tried, etc....

Vicki - posted on 09/27/2012

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Talk to your childs teacher about consenquences for misbeahaving while at school. I think that the school should enforce their rules. I dont feel like your child should be punished twice! Sit your child down and discuss why the bebavour is inapropriate have your child write a appoligy letter to the teacher.

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