Jan - posted on 06/26/2012 ( 39 moms have responded )
So I had a conversation with the father of my youngest and one on the way. He text me claiming that he really wants to be there for the kids and doesn't want to walk away from them but its hard to do that with child support and it's killing and just another way to try and send him back to prison. He asked me if we could work something out where he prove himself and be in the kids life and I don't have to close it right away but just let him prove he can be a father without the courts coercion.
I told him child support IS part of being a father, it is not about punishment. It is only a means for you to financially provide via the courts instruction since you don't wish to do so willingly. I told him talk about hurt...hurt is when you have a desire to do for you but you know ever last single extra dime must and willingly will go to your child(ren), hurt is wanting to give them even more than your last and scraping two pennies together to make the most of it. You ride around taking care of no one but yourself and you want to talk to me about hurt, puh-lease. He told me I had a point but I know he's just being nice because he wants me to give him a chance.
I told him that I needed some time (which used to be his famous line whenever Id ask him when was he going to step up and be a father) to think about things. I told him Im not going to close support at the drop of a hat because the support you claim is hurting you I dont see how when you haven't paid a penny of it yet! He said he wants to sit down and we talk things out but to be honest I feel like it's all in the name of him trying to manipulate me to close it (which I WILL NOT be doing in any case) on the other hand if he's reaching out and trying as much as I can't stand his a**, I feel like I owe it to the kids to let him try.
I honestly feel like he's just trying to manipulate me and I should just ignore his so called plea but I want to do the right thing by the kids. Let me also mention that while he was making this so called heartfelt plea he didn't one time ask me how our child is or how the pregnancy has been going or offer or ask if they need anything. Hmmm. Well...what do you all recommend?