Jody - posted on 01/14/2010 ( 195 moms have responded )
I have had the talk with her several times and she still went out and had sex? What would you do?
Ok to answer everyone's questions. First of all I have had the sex talk with her forever now. She and I have always been very close and had a good open talking relationship but she still always knew I was the mom. I was a teen mom at 17 and have told her many times I want a better life for her. And she has seen 2 live births in person and has had to care for younger kids because her dad has 2 and I also have 2 more under her. I am taking her to the dr's to have her checked for STD's and putting her on the Depo shot because that's what I am on and don't want to chance her missing a pill. I told her I don't condone her having sex but I can't stop it either so I'd rather her be safe then sorry. And yes I have told her if she still chooses to have sex a condom must always be used because we don't want to see her end up with an STD or AIDS. At least with the shot I know she will be getting it every 3 months. As for how she she was able to have sex. Her father and I never married so she goes with him on weekends. We live 30 mins apart and on school breaks he would allow her to come back here and hang out with her friends for days at a time. I never allowed this. I am much stricter then him. I would always have her friends or boyfriend come here so that way I could supervise what was going on and if she did want to go somewhere with friends I would always speak to the parent to make sure they were supervised at all times. The 1st time she had sex was when she told her dad she was going to a friends house and instead went to a boys house and the 2nd time I was at physical therapy and she snuck her boyfriend onto my property and went off it the woods to do there thing. It's really sad when I can't even trust her to go outside my own house. I am currently a stay at home mom going threw a divorce and unfortunately my soon to be ex still lives in the home and is no use for keeping an eye on her. I have had many late night talks with her since her dad found this out threw her facebook and hope I have gotten threw to her. Of course being a typical teen she is mad at her dad for invading her privacy. I told her I love her no matter what but I still think she is too young to be heading on this path already. I have explained about how guys will use her, how it can give you a bad rep in school and so on. She said she didn't want to tell anyone because she was ashamed of what she had done. I told her it's going to take a lot to earn back the trust of her father and I. She has always had a great support system and we all thought she had a better head on her shoulders because of the way she would always talked to me, her aunt and her grandma about her disapproval of her friends having sex. Then she told me well don't assume anything. Last night when I had another talk with her I told her she needs to respect her body and not give in to what the boys want. I think I have done everything possible to let her know I am here for her and will do anything to keep her safe. I ended with cuddling with her and telling her again no matter what I love her and she will always be my daughter.