When did you go back to work?

Cassie - posted on 01/27/2010 ( 27 moms have responded )

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My son is almost 4 months old and I'm so bored at home so I applied for jobs and got a full-time job. The great part is I can see my son every lunch and pick him up everyday because he is so close to me. Should I be going back to work so early? I feel like I'm abandoning him, but I'm so sick of being at home.

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Nina - posted on 01/27/2010

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Honestly if you go back to work, it's not abandoning your child! It's giving you a break as well as getting you out of the house!! I went back to working one day a week when my second child was 2 weeks old, and then fulltime when she was 6 weeks old!!..It's great for you to be away sometimes and get a bit of a breather!!! Mom needs to get some fresh air, and let baby get used to you not being around every second of the day!!!..

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Evelyn - posted on 09/14/2011

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Hi Cassie! I understand in this kind of economy situation women needs also to work,but if you think your partner or your husband can provide you for a while the basic needs inside your house i suggest you not to go back to work that so early.Your son is just a 4 months old he is too baby to be left behind with someone else. at least let him to reach the age of he already recognize you fully as his mom.Wish you luck!!

Schelly - posted on 02/08/2010

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My oldest was born on Jan. 2, the day before I was supposed to return to school after Christmas break, so I had a full 6 weeks of leave and went back to school the day after Valentine's day. My daughter was born on Dec. 9, so my 6 weeks leave put me back at work mid January. as a teacher, our contract only allows 6 weeks unless there are special circumstances to warrant a longer leave. For me, it was hardest on the first week back, but it helped to have great childcare providers that I trusted and knew would take good care of the children.

Leslie - posted on 01/30/2010

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I had my son 4 weeks ago and I will be returning to work on Monday. Granted I would love to be able to stay at home with him longer but I need to work and my work needs me there and in addition my son is going to my mom's house so he will still be getting all the love and attention that he needs and I can get picture updates via text as much as I need. I think that you need to do what feels right for you, I enjoy working as much as I enjoy being a mom so for me it is a good balance. I envy all of the stay-at-home moms but personally it is not for me, I need to work to stay sane and put food on the table.

Dawn - posted on 01/30/2010

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I worked all through my pregnancy & only got 6 weeks maternity leave. So, I went back to work 6 weeks after giving birth with both of my girls. I couldn't afford not to, someone had to get the bills paid! I think as long as you have a good daycare that you trust & everything, it is ok. :)

Angela_M_X - posted on 01/30/2010

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I'm going back to work when my son will be 7months old I'm not looking forward to it but finacially I really need the money as I am a single parent:( I will be sad to leave my little boy he crys every time I leave him or go out the door.Going to miss him but I only work sat n sun so not that bad:) x

Lakesia - posted on 01/30/2010

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I will be starting my new job on Monday. I have been a stay at home mom since 2007. My oldest son is 2 years old and my youngest is 4 months old.

[deleted account]

I went back to work when my daughter was 4 mths old only because for that 4 mths everyday someone including my boss would ask if i was coming back that day, don't get me wrong my boss at the time was the greatest! He arranged for me to go back from 9 til 3, so i went and found a local daycare centre and went back, really hard at first but never really got used to it until about a year later when i saw how well the interaction with all the other kids was. Do what feels right for you, don't feel the pressure to back if you don't need to and if you do take the new job, good luck and enjoy both, it can be done!! :-) My daughter is now 12 and looking at her now, i don't regret the decision i made, but everyones different

JoAnn - posted on 01/30/2010

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I didn't go back to work until my children were in school full time, and then it was a part-time job. If you are able to stay home financially don't miss out on all the stages of childhood. He will soon begin to start making milestones that you will regret missing later on. Check with the library, church or local hospital to see if there are any groups of young mothers you can join - or start one yourself. There are bound to be other mothers living nearby who also need friends with something in common.

[deleted account]

IT seems as everyone is saying "you deserve it""whatever makes YOU happy" that can be true to some pointe.... but If you are a Christian, you should ask God what He thinks about it. When my kids were little, I felt I "HAD" to work for financial reasons -- when all the time, if I would have considered asking God what He thought, I might not have done so.

I am a stay at home mom now.... I know it is hard to feel appreciated and valued -- but I do know it is the VERY BEST place to be. I used to teach public school-- great hours for a working mom... but my home suffered for my lack of attention to it... I say Home, I mean -- not just my physical house, my family, logistics of running everyone... having meals ready and helping other people. When I worked, I was all about "ME" -- what I had to get done... get the kids home, do homework, take baths, get to bed... where is that "QUALITY" time... I always tried to justify it that way... that I had quality time... now I have regret ever putting them in someone eles hands -- even if your caregivers are very well intentioned, good natured and all of that... there is NO REPLACEMENT FOR MOM!!!! I encourage you to pray about it... If I could re-do my life, I would have never put my kids in daycare/childcare --- and I have never heard anyone say at the end of their life that they spent too much time with their kids, it was always the opposite. I still get a paycheck, it just comes in a different form.. .and now that my kids are 14 and 16 -- they will tell you -- they wouldn't have it any other way!

If you are bored, help someone, get involved in a mom's group at your church... just think about it, weigh the cost, what you actually make and what your heart's motive is... Our culture will always do "Do what works" -- I say consult God, and do things His way...
Just a thought... Blessings to you!

Michelle - posted on 01/30/2010

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My little boy is just over 4 months old and I have just started back at work in the last week for 2 days a week. I really enjoyed my time at home with him and would have loved to have made it longer, but couldn't afford to. I think though that in some ways I needed to go back to work as I felt I needed the interaction and stimulation that my work environment could provide me with. I am lucky and my boy is with his grandmothers on the days that I work so I think it works out well. I think that for you the important thing is that you feel that you have the balance right for you and your baby. If you do then you will both be happy.

Brooke - posted on 01/29/2010

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I was getting bored and upset with everything at around the 4 month mark so i went back for one day a week.

Rosie - posted on 01/28/2010

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i went back to work 2 weeks after i had my first one. i could barely walk straight, but i was single with no help from daddy so i had to. i envied everyone that got the stardard 6 weeks-i find u very luck to be able to stay at home as long as you have. my other 2 i took 2 months off, i was married and could finally afford it! if you are sick of being home definitely go back, u are not abandoning him! you are providing for him, and providing for yourself mentally as well. it's nice to feel needed by someone who doesn't want a bottle or a diaper change, but for your mind and what u have to offer. if you are having alot of trouble try a compromise! i work part time, and miss only 3-5 hours a day in the morning, all i miss is getting my boys ready for school, and i'm there for all of their plays, and after school activities. i love it!

Tabitha - posted on 01/28/2010

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No its apart of life and its routines It is ok it shows your a caring hard working mther willing to do all for you and your child and from the sound it sounds like you working might be healthier :) GoOD LUCK I went back to work at 4months of her being born

Pam - posted on 01/28/2010

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I went back to work @ 6 weeks with my son, then got laid off 2 months later, but had to keep paying the babysitter so we could keep her for when I found another job . Went back to work @ 6 weeks again with my daughter too. Though FMLA was newly in effect so planned on 3 months, but kept getting calls & emails from work so decided I should just get paid for interrupting my time with my son. I regret not having had the time with my kids, but they turned out OK. I went to day care sobbing the first day, but my kids were like, "'Bye, Mom.".

Jessica - posted on 01/27/2010

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I was back to work 3 days & was miserable b/c I didn't want to miss a thing. To each their own. It's hard to be home all the time but I use storytimes, the playground, visiting & volunteering with my daughter to get out and about. I love showing her the world!

Janet - posted on 01/27/2010

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You are only a good mom if you are a happy mom. Do what works for you and your family. I am a stay at home mom who does home daycare and I know not everyone can do this, relax if you and your baby are happy don't worry

Angel - posted on 01/27/2010

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I think if you feel you are ready to return to work you should. as long as you trust the daycare you are putting him in. the younger they go to daycare the easier the transition for them to adapt to going. If you wait to long they really notice you leaving and cry more. He will get used to the schedule and know you are not abondoning him

Angela - posted on 01/27/2010

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I went back to work when my son was 2 days old. I run a daycare in my home and my substitute was not working out so i just took the kids back. With my first son i went back at 6 weeks cause i had to, and at 11 months with my daughter cause i had too. at least this time my son is part of my job. As long as your children are loved they will support what ever you decide.

Sylvia - posted on 01/27/2010

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I went back to work after my 50-week mat leave plus 4 weeks' accumulated vacation. I was sad about it, but it was actually a good time to go back, for a lot of reasons. I for sure wouldn't have wanted to go back any earlier. I was never all that bored at home, though (I mean, books! the Internet! a baby! books! other people's babies! drop-in day at the community centre! the park! errands!), so ...

Heidi - posted on 01/27/2010

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I have never gone back...lol I left my job a week before I gave birth. Six years later I am still a stay at home mom, I now homeschool my son also. I babysit in my home for money since I am also a single mom. Somedays I think I am going to pull my hair out but others I Iove every second. (I have moved back home with my parents so I am not doing it alone all the time)

Jenn - posted on 01/27/2010

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You need to do what's best for you. If you're bored and stressing out being home 24/7, your son will pick up on it. And you might be too stressed out to really appreceate everything he's learning and doing. You are not abandoning him and it may help you to have more fun when you are together. And if you go back to work and it doesn't work out the way you though it would, are you in a position you could quit your job? Personally, I went back to work after 3 months with my first and 2 months with my second. I would have stayed home longer with my second, but for financial reasons, I couldn't.

[deleted account]

Financially I will have to go back to work 4 wks after our daughter is born. My husband is able to stay home with her, but he also has his own outlets to keep him busy when I get home and take over. I've been on bedrest since November, so my employer is expecting me back as soon as possible. I can understand feeling like you are abandoning your son, I worked in daycares and met many parents who didn't "have to" go back to work, but wanted to... but didn't want to leave their child to be raised by someone else. It sounds like you have a flexible opportunity with this position and I would use that to your benefit. A little separation is healthy, and you just need to find that balance! Good luck!

Kim - posted on 01/27/2010

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With my oldest 2, I went back to work after 12 weeks and hope to do the same with my 3rd, who is only 2 weeks old. I've never felt like I was abandoning them, but that is because I have always felt comfortable with where and who I was leaving them with during the day.

Erin - posted on 01/27/2010

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I never went back to work after my eldest son was born (I now have 2 boys). I didn't want to miss any of the milestones so could not imagine leaving either of them. However, I was the daughter of 2 working parents. You haven't abandoned your son. You need to do what works for you. If staying in the house all the time makes you bored, that could lead to being crabby. It's not the quantity of time you spend with your son; it's the QUALITY. Find the balance that is right for you and your son will grow and thrive because of it.

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