When did you know you were done having kids?

Liz - posted on 12/05/2012 ( 38 moms have responded )

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What affected your decision to not have any more kids? How did you know your family was complete?

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Elizabeth - posted on 12/06/2012

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We have been blessed with 7 wonderful children and are open to having more. I grew up as an only child of an immigrant couple and had no family kids around. Now that my parents are aging I am the only one to be able to help with all the issues that arise there. My husband and I decided early on that we wanted at least 6 children, but we never told that to people because they would look at us funny. The gift of a sibling is the one gift that only you can give to your children and you set them up with a support system for life. I figure that there isn't one of my children I don't love, so why would I refuse to welcome the one I just haven't met yet. I don't have particularly easy pregnancies, with hormonal issues that require injections all the way through and bed rest during the later stages, but I feel it is a small price to pay for the blessing of a new life and the long term gain of a wonderful relationship. I thank Got I didn't stop at 2 kids because my oldest 2 don't get along great but after having a few they all have someone close to them. When we were expecting #4 many older women i didn't know came up to me and expressed regret that they had stopped at 3 and wished they had gone on to have at least one more. Sometimes it's hard to face the judgement that we get from so many people because we have a large family, but we love all our children and wouldn't change a thing!

Germain - posted on 12/06/2012

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My 2nd pregnancy ended at 35 weeks but at 30 weeks I began to bleed. During the five weeks of bed rest and mental exhaustion from worry, I knew in my heart that this would be my last pregnancy. The bleeding is "unexplained" however my placenta was irregularly small, therefore I believe that the bleeding was a message from God saying that our baby girl needed to come out early so she could be healthy, without developmental disabilities. After 17 days in the NICU, we knew that we were blessed with two healthy children and there was no need to tempt fate by trying for another.

America3437 - posted on 12/05/2012

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We were driving away from the hospital and I looked back to check on them and relized I had THREE little people depending on me and at that moment I was done!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/05/2012

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Well, I had a difficult pregnancy with my first. I was all set on one, so was my husband. But then we both started thinking about how nice it was to grow up with siblings, and how close we all are now. So then we decided to have another. My pregnancy was twice as difficult the second time around. I had some problems, but healthy baby. We wanted a girl, so now we have one of each. Even if we had a boy, we would have been done. My body does not like being pregnant, and we both decided to stop there. I had my tubes tied, and we are done. I don't think even if I had easy pregnancies that I would have had any more. 2 is perfect for us.

Rachael - posted on 12/06/2012

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I have two daughters 7, and two. It's hard for me to "know" I'm done because the thought of just one more is still appealing. But I want to ensure that my daughters have opportunities I never had, money saved for college, etc and I don't think we could feasibly do that if we had three. Sadly, for us, it comes down to finances. If we expanded our brood we would need different cars, someone would have to share a room, and money would be even tighter. But the thought that we can provide well for our family of four is a great relief and comfort so I think we will keep it at that.

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Virginia - posted on 12/30/2012

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Was lucky to get pregnant at 41. Daughter has sickle cell disease and each pregnancy child would have a 25% chance of having the disease. My daughter has done well. One is enough.

FathimA - posted on 12/08/2012

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I AM A MUM OF 4......AGES 8 AND HALF ,7 ,3 AND 18MNTHS ....I ENJOY THEM ALL BUT MY NERVES ARE SHOT AND I REALLY FEEL AS U HAV MOR KIDS THE INDIVIDUAL TYM U CAN AFFORD THEM IS VERI LIMITED AND THE COST OF RAISING KIDS PRESENTLY IS REALLY HIGH, THE MORE KIDS U HAV THE LESS U CAN GIVE THEM THE BEST OF EVERYTHING .....ITS 4 THESE REASONS IM DONE ......

Kim - posted on 12/07/2012

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My SO has 3, I have 3, and he really wants one more. I've always wanted 4, so we plan on having 1 together and then calling it quits. I love being pg and I would live to be a surrogate later on for someone else :)

Stephanie - posted on 12/07/2012

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I have a girl who is almost 8 and a son turning 5 i would love to have a third at this point my kids are great with little ones and i think would be a great help. But the hubby says he is done because we have been away from all the baby things for so long he says why go back to that? I want to have another but he doesnt how is that fair?

Chrissy - posted on 12/07/2012

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I think each family is different, but what it really comes down to is your desire for children and your ability to provide for them. We had two children, a boy and a girl. I thought we were done, but we didn't make any rash decisions. Two years later, decided to have one more before calling it quits. We now feel we are complete. I had a difficult pregnancy the first time, but the other two were much better. (That did play a factor) Good luck in whatever you and your family decide.

Chaunee - posted on 12/07/2012

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I have four kids, two boys and girls. So for me it was When the baby stage wasn't as cute and fun anymore lol! I can wait until I'm a grandma now...hopefully no time soon though haha!

Martha - posted on 12/07/2012

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How did I know I was done having kids? Two words: Menopause and GRANDKIDS!! :)

Tamara - posted on 12/07/2012

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Dear Liz,

I think that is a decision for each couple to make. Or each mother to make personally. For us we had a boy first and tried for a girl twice and decided that 3 children was all we could afford. Not that we wouldn't have loved to have more or not that we wouldn't have loved each child if we would have had more. We decided that our 3 boys was enough for us and at the time they were very close together so we decided that was enough. I had my tubes tied at the same time that I had the c-section of our last son. It was really rough at first just accepting the fact that I couldn't have more children but later on I realized it was best for our family. I hope this helps. Good luck and God bless you and your family.

Kristin - posted on 12/07/2012

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I always said I wanted 4 kids. But after number 3, I had to reassess what I wanted and what I could cope with. I had 3 kids...and for me, 3 ceasereans...in under 4 years. Plus I'd had post-natal depression after #2 and #3....and it was way worse the second time. Add to that my eldest was a difficult child (we later found out he has Asperger's Syndrome) and my middle one had lactose intolerance and had scalded herself badly when I was pregnant with #3, so needed a lot of extra care and has had to have numerous surgeries through the years....I just felt another baby would be too much for me to cope with. And if the the PND had been even worse, then someone would have ended up dead! My kids are now 22, 21 and almost 19, and I do not regret finishing at 3. If I'd had easy kids, and easy births, things probably would have been different. But for me 3 was enough!

Ashley - posted on 12/07/2012

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I have 3 children I always thought I only wanted 2. When I was pregnant with#3 I knew he would be my last now I am not so sure but my age will be the deciding factor.

Randi - posted on 12/06/2012

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I had my first child at 20 and my second at 38. I would've had one more except my 2nd is very very challenging and I feel like my sanity would've suffered, lol

Randi - posted on 12/06/2012

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I had my first child at 20 and my second at 38. I would've had one more except my 2nd is very very challenging and I feel like my sanity would've suffered, lol

Christie - posted on 12/06/2012

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I have 5 children 16,10,7,4,2 the 16 year he was full term actually 2 weeks late bad pregnacy and delivery. The 10 year old was 3 1/2 weeks early, the 7 year old was twins and 8 weeks early the one passed away inutero, the 4 year old was 12 weeks early, and the 2 year old was 16 weeks early he is severly disabled! I had my tubes tide but really I would of loved to have more children I just can't take chance of another preterm baby!

Susan - posted on 12/06/2012

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I was told by my doctors that I should not get pregnant again for medical reasons. I have two wonderful, healthy kids, so I'm happy.

DE - posted on 12/06/2012

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There are 30 days in a month occasionally 31..... My oldest son was Born on the 7th of a month, my middle daughter was born on the 17th of a month and my youngest was born on the 27th of a month, none induced no c sections it was natures way of saying unless the calendar is going to 37 days... then my dear you are done :)

Ellen - posted on 12/06/2012

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After my second ( both are boys) I had cancer. It's was either a hysterectomy and no more babies or try freezing, chemotherapy ect with no or use of being alive in 6 months. It was a no brained for me. I wanted to see my boys grow up so I had surgery. My oldest was 3 yrs old my baby wac7 months old. The baby will be 30 yrs old in May. And has blessed my with 2 grand babies. I would have loved trying for a girl but I am happy with my 2 boys.

Joanna - posted on 12/06/2012

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My husband is twenty years older than me and with three kids already ( twoboys and a girl) we did not think it was fair to the baby or my husband so I haf my tubes tired I would love another baby but it just not be right to have one. I still long for one but one day I get to be the fun nan think when the time is right to stop you will know

Stephanie - posted on 12/06/2012

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We just starting to try for a third child when my husband was diagnosed with cancer which put an end to that plan! We no longer plan to have another child, partly because of complications created by the chemo, and partly because of the age difference there would be now. We would like to enjoy the stages our children are in now, and not go back to the baby stage.

Leslie - posted on 12/06/2012

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I'm good with one cause she let me sleep till 9am every morning even when she is now two years old. she is a very good baby. still potty training and she start at 14 months. she is development delay in language, not jumping yet, or kicking a ball. I hope the special needs program helps. I'm still waiting for saying mom home, where is dad, etc. 36in and 29lbs. I don't want anymore children because I always dream of having my girl. she came four years of us being married. I was done with college and that was my plan.

Jodie - posted on 12/06/2012

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When I was pregnant with my first child, now 10, I decided I didn't want to get pregnant ever again due to the morning sickness and the pain from the birth. I was never really with the father so had no worries about the risk of getting pregnant and swore off men. My plan was to adopt a little sister for my son. But just before his second birthday, I met my husband, and because my son's father already had another child, I got jealous and me and my husband had a baby girl together, who is now 7. I enjoyed my second pregnancy so much that when my daughter was 14mths, we started trying again. I got pregnant two months after we started but sadly lost it at 6wks. This stopped me wanting any more but I still changed my mind about 9mths after loss. Unfortunately, this one ended at 8wks but we haven't stopped trying. It's been four years since my second loss and we are definately stopping after the next one due to all the heartache I've gone through.

Shawnn - posted on 12/06/2012

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Before we even started, we discussed it and decided that the perfect number for us was 2. We would have "one parent per child", as it were, and then if they had conflicting activities, each would still have the benefit of having a parent present.



Being the oldest of 3 in my family, and he being the middle child, we both understood "middle child syndrome" and wanted to avoid it at all costs.



Having said that, we also determined that if, sometime down the road, God decided it was time for us to have a 3rd child, it would be because there was a child out there that needed a loving family, and we'd adopt at that point.



So far, 2 is perfect. Neither has felt left out, ever, (not that any parent tries to leave any of their kids out, but from the kid's point of view, it does happen) Both have had equal time with us as parents, and we feel that we were able to give them both a better quality of life than we would have had there been a 3rd.



The kicker and final decider for me was that we had 2 boys, and neither of us really wanted a girl. (Don't get me wrong, a girl would have been fine, and we'd have loved her just the same, even had a name picked, just in case)

Samantha - posted on 12/06/2012

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Unlike the other replies on here mine simply comes down to money. I had cervical cancer, and was lucky enough to have 3 healthy kids in 4yrs. I wanted another, hubby didn't. He also pointed out that a) I would have to go back to work to help pay for another, b) we would have to take eldest out of private school (has ADHD, private gives him extra learning support c) all kids would have to go state primary & high school.



As a mother I want to do best possible for my kids, & their needs. I don't believe in going to work to pay for someone else to watch my kids & I think it would be selfish of me to take away opportunities, such as better education, just because I want another. So due to my medical history it was with regret I had a hysterectomy. We're getting a dog now! Lol

Kaleisha Leigh - posted on 12/06/2012

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With my first son I got really sick and we both almost died, I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant with my second son and on 5 medications a day to give my son a fighting chance of survival and keep my body from getting sick and being possibly fetal to myself and my second son, in saying that I would love to have just 1 more child later later down the track but it really depends how my body recovers after this baby so it's not really my decision at the end of the day it's up to my body

Tracy - posted on 12/06/2012

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there are 4 children in our family. my husbands daughter and our 3 sons together. I wanted more but my body said no. being pregnant is no big deal. I live bring pregnant, it is the post-partum depression that was my issue. once baby was been all hell broke loose in my brain. the decision to part with our final baby things was though for me, I cried as I packed it up for donation. but in the end I am happy with my choice. we are a very close and connected family and we may not have had that if I had just continued to get sicker with more children. our youngest is now 11 and our eldest is 18 and I know I am happily done having babies of my own...time to enjoy life and prepare for the next step. grandbabies...but not for a few years yet.

Tarra - posted on 12/06/2012

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It's just a feeling. I have 4 girls and thought were done at 3 but then after time passes I wanted another. While pregnant with my 4th I was absolutely sure I would never want more children. Even with 4 girls there is NO way I'd go for another.

Beth - posted on 12/06/2012

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We have three little boys and I would love to have to have one more child... not just to try for a girl. I would just really like to have one more child.

Andi - posted on 12/06/2012

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My pregnancies were very difficult. You know the term "hyperemesis gravidarum"? What Kate Middleton is going through? Yeah, that's what I had. All. Nine. Months. And I have emotional problems requiring psych care and medication. My husband does, as well. And so do my two kids that I have. With all these factors, I knew that more kids were too much for us to handle. And more pregnancies with constant "morning" sickness (throwing up all day long, frequent trips to the hospital for dehydration, etc...) were just not appealing.

Deanna - posted on 12/06/2012

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I hate being pregnant. We decided with my second pregnancy that 2 kids is enough.

Lacye - posted on 12/05/2012

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I honestly didn't want to have kids to begin with. My first child was an accident. That's not to say I don't love her because I do, but I had planned on being the crazy old aunt with a million cats.



I'm currently pregnant with my second baby (a boy) and I just feel like that is enough. He was a somewhat planned baby. We were going to try for another one but I ended up pregnant sooner than expected.

Denikka - posted on 12/05/2012

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We have two and I'm currently pregnant with my third. I feel differently about this pregnancy. I can't really explain it, But I am contemplating that this may be our last. I wanted *lots*. When asked, my number was a debatable *6*. My dad has 6 kids (including me) and my close cousin has 7 (currently :P I believe they're leaving it up to God, and they're still young, so who knows if there will be more)



I think it's just a feeling you have. No one else can tell you when your family is complete. Unless there are medical reasons that force you to stop, I think you just know.

S. - posted on 12/05/2012

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We have 3 girls 13,4 and 2 I never wanted children with a big age difference but the choice was taken out of my hands between my oldest and her sisters. When my youngest was born we bought a house that was big enough for us. If we had another we would be over crowded, we would have to buy a people carrier, we couldn't really afford another child and not to mention the fact that the ones I have drive me batty somedays ;) I never wanted a boy so I'm more then happy with my girls, I do get broody from time to time but only because I like babies not that I really want one.

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