When did you start putting your child in time-out?

Tricia - posted on 12/01/2010 ( 22 moms have responded )

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I have a one year old and i was wondering when you started putting your child in time-out?

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Chantal - posted on 12/05/2010

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My son is 15 months and I've just started using "time-out". Usually when I tell him no and he starts having a fit I sit him on the bottom step and tell him Mommy is right here I can see you are upset but you need to calm down. Sometimes I move away and start playing with his toys or reading a book and that's enough to distract and he comes over to see what I'm doing then I am always sure to praise him... What a good job you did calming down, I'm very proud of you, etc... and then we move on. I know this is just the beginning so I'm interested to read other tactics!

Shelley - posted on 12/05/2010

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sorry mary, i dont agree with using a bed for time out or punishment, when it comes to bed time, the bed will be a bad place, the same as bedrooms, children will not find bedrooms to be safe happy places anymore. thats just my opinion anyway..

Hope - posted on 12/02/2010

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At 1 year, you could safely put a baby in his crib until he calms down. You may have to listen to his screaming, but it's better than him pitching a fit in your presence and then him expecting you to do something about it. At least you'll know he's safe.

About 15 months or so, I started putting my child on the "special stool"in our kitchen. I had one of those 3 min hour glass egg timers on the counter that she could look at and watch. My rule was: She had to sit until the sand fell to the bottom (3 min) and she had to stop the crying before she could get down. If she didn't stop, I'd turn the timer over for another go-round. She learned and I think it help that she could "see" how much time was left.

Don't make too big a deal about it; don't talk on and on. Just be non-chalant and stay calm. Never ever mother your child out of frustration. It doesn't work!

Lisa - posted on 12/01/2010

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I started around 18 months. Make sure you have a designated spot that is strictly for time out ie a corner, a kid size chair, a rug. I NEVER did a time out in their room or crib because I didn't want those places to be perceived as 'bad'. You may have to stand in time out with them to teach the concept to them, but after a whilr they pick it up. Good luck!

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Kimberly - posted on 12/03/2010

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My son is 16mnths old. He has been in timeout for about the past 2 mnths. Usually around age 1 is appropriate and only for 1 minute per age. I only use it for biting atm. But as he nears terrible two I can already see him spending more time in time out. Good luck, and be consistent. its routine and once your baby starts realizing mom isnt backing down it will make the time out easier. You just cannot give in stick with it. remember the golden rule. Give them an inch they will take a mile.

September - posted on 12/03/2010

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We don't use time out at all with our 2 year old son. We give him choices that don’t include whatever it is that he's doing that we don’t want him to do. Works like a charm! :) We are all about Love and Logic and follow those methods which also include natural or logical consequences. I love it and it works!

Christy - posted on 12/03/2010

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Well if you want them to understand the concept of time out, it would be different for different kids. In my case my daughter didn't understand until about 2 yrs old. For my son it took longer, 2 1/2 yrs old. Time out is good for the most part. It gets them out of the situation and gives them time to "think" about the consequences of their actions. Consistency is key! (I hope that's what my kids are doing when they go, LOL)

MARY - posted on 12/02/2010

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First of all I dont believe in time out, no means no, and thats the end of it!! If dont want to listen to no, then the bed always is an alternate, and not to let them out of bed until they listen. Just like a puppy gotta stay on them or when they're teens, they'll walk all over you!!

Sarah - posted on 12/02/2010

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if a child can understand when you say no or ask them to do simple things (find your cup) them a child is old enough mentally to have a timeout. remeber timeout dont work with all kids my little boy laughs at timeout my little girl is heart broken to have to sit for a minute or two.

Shelley - posted on 12/02/2010

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as long as the punishments fits the crime, (so to speak), redirection, taking away an item, no yelling, and tell the child what they have done wrong, show them the right way, and praise when they do something good, being a good role model, children know at a very young age what they are doing, wether they can verbalise it or not, and be consistant, dont use alot of words..eg. now im going to put you in time out because you did this..you can stay here for 1 min, and when you r good you can come out and say sorry, and dont do it again....blah blah, because they have your attention the whole time, and will play on it, neg or pos attention, is attention..say what you have to say, and leave, and remember to praise for good behaviour..

Emily - posted on 12/01/2010

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Around age 2.5. Before that redirection, distraction, and natural consequences seemed like the best tools.

Keshia - posted on 12/01/2010

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my son is just about 16 months and we started a few months ago when hes doign something hes not supposed to liek hitting the dog or climbing on the table or just throwing a fit he i have him sit in his chair until he is calmed down then tell me him he can get up

Connie - posted on 12/01/2010

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Oh, they still misbehave, but they usually self-correct within the 3 times I provide them before time-out. Over 3, I have them in time out less than once a day average. Under 3 it's an average 3-4 times a day. The key is simple consistent rules, the expectation that they WILL BEHAVE, teaching them how they SHOULD behave rather than just punishing them for not doing so, praising good behavior more often than disciplining bad, maintaining a calm environment, and always reinforcing to the children that the have a choice in their behavior and the outcome of it. I've been doing daycare for 6 years, with a lot of children, and it's been a learning process. As with anything teaching children, it's repetition and consistency. Children want praise, understanding, and pride in accomplishments. If those come from good behavior, they will strive to comply.

Sarah - posted on 12/01/2010

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My son is 14 months old & I just started time-out with him...we've only done it like twice so far. When he's doing something that I don't approve of, I will get down on his level & tell him "no" in a stern voice and remove him from the situation. If this doesn't work about two times, then I will tell him he's going into time-out. I put him in his crib with no toys for 1 minute and then close the door. After a minute I go back in and get him (he's usually not very happy with me lol) and tell him that he needs to listen. He may not understand what I'm saying right now, but it's never to early to be consistent with them.

Sherri - posted on 12/01/2010

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@ Connie If you don't use time out past 3 what do you use? and don't tell me your children never miss behave past the age of three.

Keri - posted on 12/01/2010

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At about 18 months old and then only for a minute. At this age it is more the remove them from the situation than a punishment. Usually they will forget about what they were doing and go find something else to do.

Connie - posted on 12/01/2010

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I do daycare and was just instructing a mom on time out for her 7 month old. The baby will not stop pulling on her mom's necklace and screams bloody murder when her mom pulls her hand away. Usually, I would say just remove it and be done, but it is a perfect opportunity to begin discipline. I told her to firmly remove the child's hand and tell her no, give the 3 strikes rule, getting progressively more firm with each interaction, and after 3 times, to place the baby down. Being a formula fed baby, this is her first opportunity to work on discipline. Breast fed babies start to learn when they begin biting a nipple, that they better behave or they will be removed. What makes this a good discipline opportunity is that it is consistent behavior, the behavior is unacceptable, the behavior is easily caught and addressed immediately and consistently. By 12 months, my children will even place themselves in time out if they think they've done something they shouldn't. I keep my rules very simple and consistent. No climbing, walk, nice touch, hands to ourselves, etc. I give a very casual review of the rule the first time, a firmer one next time, a very firm one the next time with an option of time out if the behavior continues, and finally time out, one minute per age. There are never any surprises. Children know that by the time they go into time out, they chose to be there. I always say to start with one behavior like the one mentioned above so that the child can really get the concept down before going broader. Discipline means to teach, not punish. Always couch what you want the child to NOT do, between what you DO want them to do. "Nice touch, NO HITTING, nice touch." (Happy face, mad face, happy face speaking at the child's level). We teach children how to act appropriately and that there are consequences to inappropriate choices. I, too, do not believe in making the room or crib a time out place. It should be a location close for monitoring, especially at this age, and totally stimulation free. I seldom have to use time out past the age of 3. If you are consistent, then they don't have that option of MAYBE getting one by you, and the rules for a 1 year old are pretty much the same as the ones for older children: respect, kindness, and self control.

Sherri - posted on 12/01/2010

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At 1 yr I started time outs. We have a time out wall and they must stand there and put there nose on the wall. 1 minute per year of age.

Karen - posted on 12/01/2010

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i just started and my son is 14 months. i have a chair he has to sit on and i don't give it to him for little things but if he bites or gets mad and scratches my face then he gets it. and like theresa, it's only one minute (i believe in the "1 minute per age" rule).

Castilia - posted on 12/01/2010

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I started as soon as they started testing me. You know, when you have told them no or to stop and they look at you with that smile or look and then do it again. Around 1 year I guess. I first put my children (I have two very well behaved children 7 and 9 years old) in the crib where they couldn't get out and shut the door for a few minutes to let them know that they were spending time alone and explain why they were in there. If they cry or scream, they stay longer and the couple minutes don't start until they stop. Otherwise they think they get out because they are crying or screaming and not because they are being good. reward for good. This is the hardest part at first because they are trying to figure you and the new system out. Just stick to it and they are smarter then you think. You can even roll play. Then when you think your kiddo is done with a couple minutes reward with a hug and say good job for sitting quiet and listening to mommy. Most important thing is that other adults around you do the same thing and follow the same steps. Good luck!

Theresa - posted on 12/01/2010

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I started around 15 months. Just a short 1 minute time out. After saying no 1-2 times I'd say "OK, you need a time out." I'd put her in her room, close the door and stand right outside, then after a minute open the door, give hugs and talk about listening. She caught on quite quickly. Before she was even 2, I'd threaten the time out and she'd go to her room herself, then come out after awhile saying "Happy now, Mommy."

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