When is it ok for children to stop believing in Santa and The Tooth Fairy?

Connie - posted on 07/03/2012

And vice versa. Parents who have taught their kids Santa is real need to teach their kids to respect the beliefs of those who don't. Just as anything else in a free society, we have the freedom to teach our kids how we want. However, there isn't a special privilege to protect fantasy over truth. It goes both ways. I could write a book.

Mikesha - posted on 07/03/2012

@ Angela
I agree! It is very important to teach your child not to express what they know to others. My kids know to keep it to themselves. I have told them that it's the parents job to tell their child the truth when they are ready. It's like teaching my children not to judge because it's not there place to. It's not their place to tell the secret. They have not had any problems keeping it to themselves.

Bridget - posted on 07/03/2012

My oldest is 11 and has not believed in Santa for a few years now, don't know when it happened or how, but she now continues to talk to her little brothers about Santa things like, on christmas eve "you need to go to sleep quickly Santa is comming tonight". Its really nice to see

Nancy - posted on 07/03/2012

I believed in Santa for a VERY long time, and you know what? . . . to an extent, I still do! It's all about the magic of Christmas! I really enjoy watching him on Norad tracks Santa (discovered that last year!). There is nothing wrong with believing in good, and we can teach them about St. Nicholas and how Santa came to be!

Bronwen - posted on 07/03/2012

I have a 15, 13, and 6. I have NEVER told my kids there wasn't because there IS a Santa. He lives in each of us during the Christmas season. Santa is the spirit of kindness and giving that we don't seem to express through out the rest of the year. For Christmas morning, the kids only get a minimum of gifts (3 actually. Christ got 3, why do my kids need more than that?? They get plenty from Aunt, Uncle, Grandparents, etc.)

When my brother was young, maybe 12 or so, He questioned my Mom about it. She turned to me and said "what do YOU think Bronwen?? Is there??" I took him in and read him "Yes, Virginia - there is a Santa Claus" I was never TOLD, I'm not telling. I grew to see the truth, that the writing on the tags was my Mom's. I'm not dumb... One year, a few years ago, we did the unwrapping by numbers. It was so funny when my then 10 year old unwrapped #3 (of 15 gifts) and it was ONE slipper!!! (the other one was #12!) Her face was precious! I think the kids got it...that I had the list...but how did I get the list???? Did Santa leave it in my stocking? Kids are not stupid, I don't think you need to tell at all.

Also - "you stop believing, you stop getting presents from Santa!" Good Luck!! Have fun while they are little...it goes too fast.

Sarah - posted on 07/03/2012

Nicola, to clarify: I fully believe in the magic of Santa for kids. I am annoyed with the people who claim that all children should be told the "truth" because I'm trying to point out that we all tell lies sometimes. I would NEVER destroy a child's happiness or spirit that way, EVER. THAT, is a truth.



I present Santa to my children and protect their belief in it, even if it means I have lied to them. They are only 1 and 3 (will be 2 and 4 at Christmas this year). I am hoping they will believe until at least 10 years old. My passionate replies are because some people stated they "never" lie to their children. I simply pointed out that we all lie sometimes. IMO, it's acceptable at times if it's to spare harm to another, not okay if it's for your own benefit. Many on here claim they never lie. This, IMO is an outright lie in itself unless they aren't human because it's in human nature to lie sometimes. Wrong or right is irrelevant, we still all do it. Also, I don't believe Santa is a lie (per se), it's a wonderful tradition passed down through the generations. I cherish my memories as a child around Santa and will preserve my children's right to that as best I can.



Thanks for your concern though! :-)

Mikesha - posted on 07/03/2012

No you are not wrong! But be prepared for when that times comes.

I didn't find out the truth until I was 13. Sad I know but true. My Mom and I were in the car and she was telling me about how my Dad would eat up all the cookies while she put my toys together. I looked at her in shock. I seriously didn't know. All she could say was, "I'm sorry I thought you knew." I remember at 11 my parents telling me I was too old for Santa to come anymore. I didn't put two and two together. I remember fight other kids who told me Santa was not really. Being made fun of and standing my ground. Looking back, it's funny now. But at the time is was no joke at all. I was crushed and felt I was lied to.

I understand the magic and the imagination that comes with believing but I sometimes feel like if I spend their whole childhood lying to them what am I teaching them? My kids know of the story behind Santa. I bought a book that tells his story. They enjoy all the fun of it but they know the truth and they know not to tell other kids what they know. They know I give them money under their pillow for their teeth and we all celebrate as a family when a tooth comes out. We have never brought up the Easter bunny. We dye eggs together as family and my husband and I hide them.

I believe it's a personal choice if you want your child to believe or not. Nothing wrong with that. Just don't wait too long to tell her the truth.

Sarah - posted on 07/03/2012

I never twisted her words at all MeMe. I agreed with her, then stated my opinion (as I said, "IMO."). You can lie to yourself all you want, but EVERYONE lies sometimes. Sin or not, as long as you confide your truths to your God you will be forgiven. I believe the sin of lying God doesn't forgive is when you lie to yourself and you lie to Him. Sparing someone pain by withholding the truth or presenting them with an idea that is fun to partake in is not a sin, IN MY OPINION. That's okay if you don't agree with it, you don't have to. But don't try to rob other people and their children of their rights to their beliefs and their innocence. Last I checked stealing was a sin too. Stealing a child of their innocence is worse IN MY OPINION. Anyways, I'm getting tired of this conversation. I just can't believe how many people claim to never lie, because I have yet to meet a single person who hasn't or doesn't on occasion. Denying that is lying in itself.

Meryl - posted on 07/03/2012

No you are not wrong, but....my two little girls who truly believed in Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc. I loved it but my neighbor older child told them pretty much the same thing. They came back to me and asked me for the truth so there I was, stuck and I did tell them the truth.

Nicola - posted on 07/03/2012

Sarah Klauzer I hope you teach your children not to ruin the believe others have in santa ect as that is just as spiteful and wrong as what you claim others do by lying to their childen by taking away a perants right to have magic in their childrens lives

Connie - posted on 07/03/2012

I don't think it's ever wrong to tell your children the truth. Our children knew from the beginning that Santa Claus was just pretend and that it was just a fun part of Christmas. They also knew that Mom was the "Tooth Berry," as they called me, but we all played along and pretended it was the other way. There is a danger that children who know the truth might spill the beans to other children and cause this type of trauma, which is unfortunate. But we, as parents, always believed that it was best for our children to know that we always told the truth and didn't lie to them about anything. It builds trust. This won't be a popular opinion, but it worked for our kids. And we still all had fun at Christmas and tooth-pulling time.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 07/03/2012

Yeah, I don't think that is what Angela meant. ;)



Twist words much?

Sarah - posted on 07/03/2012

Exactly Angela! Robbing a child of their belief in magic and their innocence is worse IMO than "lying" to them by presenting them with the idea in the first place.

Angela - posted on 07/03/2012

For the parents that choose not to have their children believe in Santa or the Tooth Fairy, I believe it is also important to teach them that some children do. They need to learn to respect that and not crush someone's dreams and beliefs.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 07/03/2012

Last I checked God and Jesus have not been proven, either.... hmmmm

Rena - posted on 07/03/2012

Vicky, it is heartbreaking when someone dashes our children's beliefs. I recall when my daughter was 6 and in grade 1 (which was a grade 1- 2 split class) She came home from school shortly before Christmas and informed me that the teacher had said their was no Santa!
I was angry!! I actually contacted the prinicpal to express my anger. I felt it was out of place for the teacher to do this. He defended himself by saying that the grade two children were asking. I replied that this was a teachable moment when he could have taken the grade 2's out of the room and given them the story about 'believing' and being the big kids who help the little kids to believe. That year on Christmas Eve my step son walked across the roof with bells after my daughter was in bed (but not yet asleep) and when she woke up in the morning Santa's ashy foot prints were on the floor coming out of the fireplace!! Kids today are inundated with so much 'reality' that a little fantasy is good. BTW my daughter milked her belief in Santa for a long time after I know she was aware of the truth because it helped with the flow of presents!! Good luck!

Krista - posted on 07/03/2012

If I led her to believe lies about Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, etc. how would I ever expect her to believe the Truth of the Word Of God and that Jesus Christ came to this earth and died for her sins and rose again so she could live eternally?

Exactly. That's why my kids and I are celebrating the feast of the goddess Ēostre instead of some crazy, made-up Easter Bunny, and are going to honour Odin at Yuletime, instead of some make-believe man in a red suit. They are the truth, they are real, and how on Earth could my kids ever trust me if I tried to make them believe in things that aren't proven?

Annette - posted on 07/03/2012

i think when there about 9 and 10 best time but 6 years old they should still have a great imagination and beleiving in father christmas and the tooth fairy and easter bunny is fine. Kids will soon learn it is not true when there older but when there that young i say let them be kids and have great imagination its good for them

Sam - posted on 07/03/2012

I don't think you are wrong in wanting to keep the magic alive, however, if they do start to question, it would be wise to not lie by saying they 'ARE REAL'. When my oldest, at the time 7, went back to school, she asked me how come her friend only got a doll yet she got a whole bunch of things. I wasn't ready to tell her Santa didn't exist so I sat with her and told her that Mommy and Daddy put most of the gifts under the tree and that Santa brought her her favorite gift and that Santa only brings one gift to every good girl and boy (sticking with the plan LOL) She bought it and dropped it. The next time she asked if Santa was real, i contoured the question by asking her Did she want him to be real? She said she didn't really mind if he weren't, it was just bugging her to not know the truth. I told her the truth at the point since I am a person she trusts and looks up to and didn't want her to feel I was lying to her. In any case, she is 15 and my youngest is 11, they still make their lists out to Santa and they still scream Santa came Christmas morning LOL....even though the both now know that my husband and I are Santa. There is no magic lost in that :D

PS... note to lady that said she would be ticked at 8 year old.....the operative words there are 8 YR OLD..... 8 yr old girls are CHATTY ....

Patricia - posted on 07/03/2012

We grew up knowing it was, "Let's Pretend." I appreciate that.

Julie - posted on 07/03/2012

let them stay kids and have their dreams and beleifs as long as possible. your kids may surprise you. i thought my daughter was 9 when she stopped beleiving in santa but i learnt now they are both in their 20's that my son had told her when she was 7 that there was no sant a and none of them said naything to me cos they liked the run up to christmas and part of the excitement was me telling them about santa and our lovely day out to see santa and have lunch and go to the pantomime. they thought all that would stop if they told me so they carrie don letting ME beleive LOL

Pat - posted on 07/03/2012

Amen to that....

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 07/03/2012

I don`t think that everyone lies sometimes. I know I don`t. I don`t believe that allowing or encouraging your child to believe in make belief is a lie, though. I feel it is a part of encouraging imagination, which is a large part of a child's growth. They will do it anyway, if not about Santa, Easter Bunny or the Tooth fairy, it will be about something else.



Also, Santa is actually very real. There was many different sorts of him, back in the day, depending on where you lived. Saint Nicholas was very real and he did pass on gifts. So, in reality, it is us parents, keeping the feeling alive. )



Here have a read:

http://www.thehistoryofchristmas.com/sc/...



Saint Nicholas - a brief history



St. Nicholas was born in 280 AD, in Patara, a city of Lycia, in Asia Minor. He became the gift giver of Myra. His gifts were given late at night, so that the gift giver's identity would remain a secret. St Nicholas was eventually named the patron saint of children, sailors, Russia and Greece.



St. Nicholas was a Christian priest, who later became a bishop. He was a rich person, and traveled the country helping people, giving gifts of money and other presents. St. Nicholas did not like to be seen when he gave away presents, so the children of the day were told to go to sleep quickly or he would not come! Nothing has changed and Santa Claus will not arrive this Christmas unless the children go to sleep early.



A famous story about St. Nicholas, is about a poor man who had no money to give to his three daughters on their wedding day. St Nick dropped bags of gold into the stockings which the girls had left to dry by the fire. The sisters found the gold and ever since, children have hung up stockings on Christmas Eve hoping that they will be filled with presents by Christmas morning.



Despite being quite young Nicholas had earned a reputation for kindliness and wisdom. In the year 303, the Roman emperor Diocletian commanded all the citizens of the Roman Empire, which included Asia Minor, to worship him as a god.



Christians believed in one god and one god alone, so their conscience would not allow them to obey the Emperor's order. Angered by their stubbornness, Diocletian warnd the Christians that they would be imprisoned. The Emperor carried out the threat and St Nicholas who resisted too was also imprisoned. For more than five years, St Nicholas was confined to a small cell. He suffered from cold, hunger, and thirst, but he never wavered in his beliefs. In 313, when Diocletian resigned, and Constantine came to power Nicholas was released, and he returned to his post as Bishop of Myra. He continued his good works and became even wiser and more understanding by the time of his death on December 6, 343.



In the eyes of the Catholics, a saint is someone who has lived such a holy life that, after dying and going to heaven, he or she is still able to help people on earth. They often become patron to different groups of people - one such was children and many legends sprang up to explain his presence.



By 450, churches in Asia Minor and Greece were being named in honor of him. By 800, he was officially recognized as the a saint by the Eastern Catholic Church.



In the 1200s, December sixth began to be celebrated as Bishop Nicholas Day in France.



By end of the 1400s, St Nicholas was the third most beloved religious figure, after Jesus and Mary. There were more than 2000 chapels and monasteries named after him.



In the 1500s people in England stopped worshipping St Nicholas and favored more another gift giving figure Father Christmas. Over the centuries, St. Nicholas' popularity grew, and many people in Europe made up new stories that showed his concern for children. The name Santa Claus was derived from the Dutch Sinter Klass pronunciation of St. Nicholas. Early Dutch settlers in New York (once called New Amsterdam) brought their traditions of St Nicholas. As children from other countries tried to pronounce Sinter Klass, this soon became Santa Klass, which was settled as Santa Claus. The old bishop's cloak with mitre, jewelled gloves and crozier were soon replaced with his red suit and clothing seen in other modern images.



Another, read:

http://www.unmuseum.org/santa.htm



Now, as you can see, it is a tradition that has been going on for hundreds and hundreds of years. If it screws kids up, so bad, then why aren't there a bunch of paranoid adults out there, that think everyone is lying to them? Seriously, those that think it messes with a kids mind are off the rocker. It simply allows them to be kids and happy ones at that. Ones that have the ability to think outside the box and imagine different things in life. It would be one sad world, if no one had an imagination or the ability to enjoy life!

Susan - posted on 07/03/2012

Not at all!!!!!! Kids grow up much too fast these days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've always told other kids that if you tell a believer then you no longer get anything from them. Works EVERY time.

Sarah - posted on 07/03/2012

That's what I'm trying to say Pat, thanks for putting it that way! I'm not encouraging people to outright lie, but omissions to spare people's feelings are important (IMO). That's what I was trying to get at. It's not that I would tell my friend/sister/anyone for that matter that they look fat in something, but I'd point out the good things about it. If I were shopping with someone, I would be more honest (more like, "I don't care for it"). I think we all need to remember that words can hurt sometimes and we have to be sensitive to people's feelings. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. An omission is a lie (IMO) and that's what's okay sometimes to be socially acceptable. At least with anyone I've been around anyways, but sometimes we Canadians are a bit different you know?

It just seems odd to me that the only one who seems to be honest in a conversation about honesty is the one that states that everyone lies (sometimes).

Melanie - posted on 07/03/2012

I applaud you, Jodie Street! I was very crushed and embarrassed when I found out the Truth about Santa Clause and wondered what else my parents had "pretended" and lied about. I believe wholeheartedly in telling my daughter the Truth. If I led her to believe lies about Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, etc. how would I ever expect her to believe the Truth of the Word Of God and that Jesus Christ came to this earth and died for her sins and rose again so she could live eternally? Jesus said that if we cause one of these little ones to stumble, it would be worse than having a millstone tied to our neck and thrown into the deepest part of the lake. I prefer to stay on the side of Truth. There's freedom in that.

JenJen - posted on 07/03/2012

Kids these days are growing up alot more then what we were at their age, so i think its good that we can keep the mystrey of santa, the tooth fairy and easter bunny going as long as we can. My children still believe. It's inncocents. I' so glad to read that all the mums ere still keepin the magic alive. :) x

Pat - posted on 07/03/2012

"Fairy dust" does not hurt but rather enhances one's belief that anything is possible.

If your friend asks how does this dress look and you don't want to say it makes her look like a cow , one usually finds something about the dress to complement and secure her friend's confidence in her own sense of style; so you comment on the color.

I am 69 yrs old and I tell you that I believe that anything is possible even the dream of Santa Clause.

In case you wonder if I am demented, I am presently pursuing an MBA (actively) and because I believe in "fairy dust" will be married 12/2012.

So back to the original question: you the parent must decide things and timing for your child. To each his/her own. For those who attack please remove the splinter from your own eye before you try to remove (convince) others ..

Remember this, MOMs! Only one person stands between your child and the rest of the world and that is YOU. You are their first teacher. Your actions speak louder than words and the love you have for your child will come through. So allow others the same opportunity.
Nanny Pat

Kristi - posted on 07/03/2012

IMO, let her believe for as long as you can. I took that away from daughter because I was "convinced" I was dishonoring God by letting her believe in the magic of Santa. So while all of her friends were excited and giggly with anticipation of Santa and his reindeer, writing their letters and telling each other what they wanted him to bring, my sad, disenchanted daughter sat silently by watching, I'm sure in envy of their high spirits. She never said a word because she knew "it was not her place to tell her friends that it made Jesus sad when they worshiped a false god." You have absolutely know idea how much I regret doing that. She was about 2 when we told her and it really sank in about 31/2 when she was in pre-school. Once we got out of there and the fog started to rise, I tried to "revive" some of the magic. She wanted to believe, she tried but (of course) there was no going back. But, each year, we made cookies for Santa and a cake for Jesus and we read Twas the Night...and about the birth of Jesus from the Bible. I get tears in my eyes even thinking about it now, so I say no, you are not wrong at all! And with today's state of affairs, everyone could use a little magic. ; )

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 07/03/2012

Brandy, when they are children, they don't realize it is make-belief. You can tell them until you are blue in the face, they will still believe it is real, in their world.



My daughter is still afraid of the boggy man and she is a teenager! It is all in their mind, of which is called...imagination. It is a wonderful thing. Some kids have more of one, than others. Hard for adults to remember, unless they keep their own child within. ;)





Sarah--- I never lie to keep someone from being hurt. I simply say it in a way to not hurt them. I am a very truthful person, which is why the friends I have, cherish me. They know they can count on me to tell them the truth and not beat around the bush. I agree with Sherri, here. There is never a reason to outrightenly lie. Have a bit of imagination for your kids sake, though, absolutely!!

Angela - posted on 07/02/2012

Vicky- My daughter will be 12 in September and she still believes in Santa and the Tooth Fairy. The last couple of years have been a true test of her beliefs since most of the her friends and classmates no longer believe. She tells them that maybe their parents do buy their presents because they don't believe. When I asked her this last year if she did, she said yes...I feel him all around me. In our family we try to give back to the community each year. We volunteer at the local food pantry and make delieveries, we ring the bell for Salvation Army, and we also sponsor a family and buy them presents. Although Santa may not be a man in red suit that travels the world in one night, it is a spirit that reminds us how blessed we really are during the holidays. The moment children stop believing the magic of childhood is over, it's perfectly understandable to want them to continue believing.

Sarah - posted on 07/02/2012

I think you misunderstand a bit Lori. I don't teach my children to lie. I don't encourage them to lie. But I do believe there are certain situations where it may be warranted. I realize that lying is a sin, but here's the thing, everyone is a sinner. I don't believe teaching kids about Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy are lies per se. They are wonderful and cherished traditions passed down through many generations. If someone tried to steal that belief from my young child (my kids are still VERY young), yes I would lie to them outright to preserve the magic for them. They only get a short time in their entire life where they actually believe in magic, and someone robbing my child of that is worse IMO than a tiny lie to preserve my child's innocence. Would I feel the same if my kids were 10-12? Probably not, but my kids aren't even 2 and 4 yet. Once they lose that belief, they never get it back. As far as lying in some situations, I never said it was okay to lie to save yourself. I said I believe it's okay (at times) to lie to save hurting someone else. The truth is is that sometimes honesty can hurt someone without intent or malice, but cause irreversible damage with no benefit to anyone. I don't necessarily believe it is okay in these circumstances, because sometimes it is cruel. I believe in teaching my children to respect and think about how OTHER people will feel before they respond to a question. 99.9% of the time, honesty is the best policy, and I do encourage my children to be honest. But you darn right know that if my 3 year old were to shout out in a store (as I've heard other kids do - mine hasn't yet thank goodness), "look at that fat lady!" that I'm going to be prepared and tell him to keep that opinion to himself, lie or not.

Brandy - posted on 07/02/2012

MeMe- My opinion, if you don't believe in Jesus than your not celebrating Christmas, your just celebrating ON Christmas. That's just like saying you don't do Halloween but you dress up in costumes and go door to door, or you don't honor birthdays but you have a party on that day because you want to and it's fun.
And yes I think it is a great part of childhood to have an imagination and made up stories But the difference is KNOWING it's make belief verses thinking and being told it's true.

Julianne - posted on 07/02/2012

Santa/the easter bunny/ the tooth fairy etc are not taught in my home. I don't like to lie to my children.

Sherri - posted on 07/02/2012

@Taniya - Speaking from a family that has always done Santa. My mother is 63 yrs old and always was brought up with Santa has never been traumatized or questioned anything because of Santa or the Easter Bunny. Same with my 65yr old dad

I am a 40yr old woman and don't even remember when I learned that Santa was being carried out by my parents. Once again not traumatized and never once questioned anything because of it.

Same with my cousins and 3 siblings. How do I know because everyone of us do it with our children.

Also same with my husband and his 2 siblings and his parents who are in their 70's now.

So honestly not understanding where or even why you think because we carry on the message of the real St. Nick that somehow our children will question us as parents. When our children learn that Santa himself is no longer real. There truly was a St. Nick and the parents today are simply carrying on the message and work that the real St. Nick did.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 07/02/2012

Brandy--..First if someone doesn't believe in Jesus then whats the point in them celebrating his birth and death.

I don't believe in Jesus. We celebrate Christmas. We celebrate it because we WANT to, not because we believe in Jesus. It has become a customary event in many Countries, including mine. It is often more about family and gathering, than Jesus and what not, in many homes.

Oh and as I already stated, my kids did and will believe. My daughter is older now but my son is nearly two. I so cannot wait, to relive all the excitement and fun, again!

I enjoyed it as a kid and I am far from scorned. Just sayin... ;)

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 07/02/2012

I think it is a wonderful part of a childs' little life, to have imagination and make belief. I don't think there is anything wrong with it and do it all myself.

I hold the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and Santa, very close to my heart. It makes me feel great warmth inside, when my children run around all excited! Santa is the biggest one for me. It just brings so much more Christmas into our home. It gives it a very enchanted feeling. I love the excitement from my kids the night before and the morning of. It's so much fun, tracking Santa on the internet and then trying to get them to go to bed and actually sleep, so we can get the gifts out! lol

I don't think there is anything wrong with those that don't believe in doing it but for me, it is a part of our fun with our children.

I know I absolutely loved it until I was 5. At the age of 5, I caught my Dad eating the carrots, I had left out for Rudolph and the cookies and milk, left for Santa. :( I was actually saddened but I got over it quite quick! I most definitely didn't hate my parents for trying to have some good old fun, too.

I think, though, that once they are older and really start to question it, it is time to fess up. All kids are different, so some will ask sooner and others will ask later. Some, like my daughter, know well ahead of time but love the fun of it so much, they pretend to still believe (yep, some of them have their parents figured out before WE do our children!). lol I wondered for a good two years, if she really still believed and she had me FOOLED! lol Gotta love it, I sure did and will again with my 20 month old. I am sooo looking forward to it!

And this whole, don't lie to your kids and get them to believe in Santa because Jesus....blah blah blah....are the ones that kill it for the kids that have imagination and enjoy a wee bit of fun. It's called fantasy and is not harming anyone. This is something kids will do with or with out you. If it isn't about Santa, it will be about fairies or monsters, you know, it's called make-belief! ;)

Taniya - posted on 07/02/2012

The moment they have their first christmas cause those " fairytails" are lies. Plain and simple, harsh but true, sorry.... Think about the psychological number we put our children through when we tell them these stories and then they are hit with reality, they are left trying to make sense of why they were told the story in the first place. It's possible they will begin to question everything we say from that point forward. Something to ponder....

Krista - posted on 07/02/2012

Speaking personally, we won't be teaching our child stories about made-up creatures like the Easter Bunny. Instead, we'll hold feasts honouring the German pagan goddess Ēostre.

Krista - posted on 07/02/2012

I don't think there's anything at all wrong with letting your kids have the magic of Santa, the Easter Bunny and/or the Tooth Fairy. But I think that once the kid basically asks you flat-out about whether they're real, it's time to come clean. Indulging fantasy is one thing, but flat-out fibbing is quite another.

Johnny - posted on 07/02/2012

All these posters with the whole "don't lie to your children about Santa because you should be telling them the truth... about Jesus" are just slaying me. Thanks for the LMAO this holiday Monday.

To the OP, just do what you feel is best for your daughter. Knowing my kid, since she's already got doubts, I'd probably be straight with her about Santa being an actual real person. But I would still tell her the history of the story and encourage her to enjoy the magic and imagination with her father, our families and myself. Even as an adult, with no kids around, no one in our family ever talked about Santa not being real. We all know it's pretend, but it is more fun that way. But you should follow your instincts about what is the best route for your child. They are all such little individuals, we need to respond to them each uniquely.

Lori - posted on 07/02/2012

@Sarah- I cannot believe you said teaching your kids to lie is ok-did you see that Do not lie is a commandment? I am not saying I have never lied in my life, that is what Jesus is for to forgive my sins, but I try REALLY REALLY hard not too. If I do not like something on someone ( hair, clothes ect) I say "It is not my taste but if you like it, that is all that matters." I don't lie to make them feel better. Then you become someone who is untrustworthy, why would I ask you your opinion if I am just going to get a lie anyway?? and I do ask to get an HONEST opinion and am also strong enough in myself that if someone else does not like it (like a baby name), but I love it, I will use it. We all have different opinions.

What I find appalling is that you teach your kids lying is OK-what a double standard. Lying is NEVER okay- it is a sin. Akin to: I teach my kids to steal but only if it is something they really want. Yikes. Like I said earlier when my kids asked me about Santa I told them the truth- until then it was a fun tradition. Oh and by the way- I have never lied to my kids, I made double sure I never lied to them or in front of them (sometimes it was hard-when the policeman said, did you know you were speeding)? and I had to say yes.- Honesty is VERY important in my home and my kids detest liers too. They had a good role model.You need to rethink your stance on lying.

Brandy - posted on 07/02/2012

Bellani- It's funny (in a sad way) how you have a problem with my commenting on others comments/questions but no one else. And even yourself can comment on others, really? It's ok to disagree with others but telling them not to comment is wrong. (I see your comment is gone.)

Bellani - posted on 07/02/2012

Just stick to the actual question, guys..this has gotten off topic!

Brandy - posted on 07/02/2012

Actually Bellani there was a comment about believing in Jesus so I was just replying to that and other comments...

Bellani - posted on 07/02/2012

Well, Brandy the question wasn't about whether anyone believes in Jesus...we were all just answering a question about Santa, tooth fairies etc.

Vicky - posted on 07/02/2012

Terry - I am so, so sorry for your sad loss but believe, as you do, that the magic that some condone can be so soothing, uplifting and exciting for many others. I agree that it is an individual family's choice and to choose to embrace this magic time of childhood is a blessing for those of us who make this choice. From reading the varied replies to my post, I have seen and admire so many different points of view, but none more than yours - you made your daughter's life more special than even you can imagine - her life was blessed because of you and your family.
My thoughts are with you.
Vicky x

Julie - posted on 07/02/2012

After reading some of the posts today, I asked my youngest son, (14) and my daughter(17) if they regretted believing in Santa. They looked at me like I was crazy. They both enjoyed that part of childhood. As for telling them, "When you quit believing, Santa quits coming." That did not scar them either. They said they did not believe out of fear, but because it was fun. They also grew up knowing Christmas is really about the birth Jesus and Easter about His ressurection. What works for my family may not work for others.

Terry - posted on 07/02/2012

I have you all beat. When I was too young to believe, my Mom was cleaning out her closet and I guess I was driving her crazy about Christmas and I said something about Santa and she said "Oh you know there is no Santa". I was crushed. Then when my first daughter turned 12 my mother convinced me that everyone in school had already told her and no one believes at 12. So my daughter and I where walking in the mall and I casually mentioned that I knew she knew there wasn't a Santa. She stopped walking and just looked at me with her jaw dropped and I knew then I had done the very same thing to her. I left my next daughter alone and whe came to me at 14 and told me she knew there was no Santa because whe found something that we had bought for her little sister. Then there was my last. My extended family thought it was a riot that my kids believed so long, and made fun of the things that I used to do to keep them believing. So they all played along with my last daughter, however after she turned 16 they all said that I needed to tell her. I went into the bedroom in Sept of that year and told her as gently as I could and she cried her heart out. And the funny thing is my nephew who was then 25 always played the game with her. She looked at me with tears streaming down her face and said "does Nicki know". Then she aske me if I could give her one more special present. She wanted to now mention this conversation with anyone, and once we left that room for this last Christmas there would still be a Santa. Well, that is exactly what we did. And she was so good at it that I really wondered if I told her or not. Christmas night she came to me and thanked me for a wonderful Christmas and said especially for my special gift.."i will be alright now. I am so glad that she believed as long as she did and I am not sorry for all the crazy things I did to keep him alive. Because you see, that daughter died at 21. She was very special and had a wild imagination, and I am left with that wonderful memory.
Terry

Lori - posted on 07/02/2012

Vicky,

That was my dilemma, If my kids asked I decided to tell the truth because I did not want them thinking I lied to them or that Jesus was not real( or fell into the same category). My daughter asked me at 7 and with a heavy heart I told her the truth. I also told her if she ruined it for her brother Santa would not bring her anything. She played it up amazingly and was a huge help every Christmas getting her brother to make a fort with her in her room, so we could sneak the presents under the tree. Again with a heavy heart my son asked me when he was 8, I thought it was going to be a little later. I believed till 10 cause my older brother kept me believing. Every year, they still made a fort and pretended. Both found out early due to kids that spoiled it and both agreed to never spoil it for anyone else. They are 25 and 21 now and they always reminisce about the fort- if they still lived in the same house together, I bet they would make one.