when is it the best time to let your daughter date

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Amber - posted on 09/15/2010

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My mom let me have my first boyfriend at 13, and have not been single since! I went from boyfriend to boyfriend, not even a week in between until I met the dad to my kids when I was 15, got pregnant at 16 (on purpose) , and had my daughter at 17. Soooo I say do not let her date till she's at least 16!! I am going to try to not let my daughter date till at least then, becaue I don't want her to waste her teenage life going through boyfriends like that and getting pregnant so young. Hope this helped!

JuLeah - posted on 06/08/2010

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I understand Amy's view.
I think it depends on the age, the maturity ..... what skills does she have? Does she know how to assert herself? We often don't teach kids the basics, we just expect them to know how to ask a person out, out to say yes, or how to say no, how to respect yes and no, how to break up, how to end a date early if it is not working, how to put their comfort over manners - can't tell you how many young women I know that had sex for the first time because they didn't want to be rude.

We don't teach kids how to date, we just send them out on dates and hope for the best.

Most of us are not even comfortable having honest conversation about the issues - we assume they learned all they need in school or something

School teaches very little - they teach what a condom is, for example, not how to use one.

They don't teach about sexuality, just sex - not romance, not love, feelings too big to handle ....

Wow, I think I am glad my daughter is eight and I still have a bit of time

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My kids will be allowed to date when they are 16 and I'm going to need someone else to teach them HOW.... Thankfully they have lots of great 'aunties' for that kind of stuff.

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I wasn't ever given an age. I met a guy at 14 and only dated him because I felt like there was something wrong with me up until then for not having one... (I have major self-esteem issues), but that only lasted a month. I've only dated 4 guys one whom is my husband. In the end I was more courted by my husband then dating (which I find to be better).

Julie - posted on 09/15/2010

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Date?
what is dating?
My parents said I had to have two months of "parlor dating" when the boy was allowed to come to the house and watch movies or something. before we were allowed to go out with a group untill I was 16
I also remember my dad and mom taking me out with them and me watching how my dad treated my mother when we were out...I expected to be treated the same way when I went out.

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Cassidy - posted on 04/23/2013

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my mom said i was alowed to have a oyfriend at th age of 14 but she thinks dateing and havein a boyfriend is different. my dad said i can date when i get married!

Tammy - posted on 09/16/2010

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We approach dating a little differently:) We probably won't allow one on one dating until she's 18. Think about it. What did you do on dates? What are they doing these days? I may be able to be on the same page with my daughter but I'm certianly not going to trust the guys! My husband agrees, he knows what the guys are thinking. He is also planning on letting any prospects know that he likes to shoot guns almost as much as he likes digging holes!

Iridescent - posted on 09/15/2010

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@Amber, it's really rare for someone to be so honest! Thank you. It does have an effect on what we will choose to do.

Anjie - posted on 09/14/2010

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Man look here, I dont like the idea of my 17 year old dating, but she came to me and asked me if she could have a boyfriend. I told her no, and then i thaught back to when i was 17 and the fact that i didnt have an open relationship with my parents, and so i "flew by the seed of my pants" so to speak. I then told her yes she could date this young man, HOWEVER the first sign of her grages slipping HE IS DONE. I think if and when your daughter comes to you and asks permission about something that she wants to do and feels comfortable enough to come to you and ask, that is a major blessing, at least to me it is, because she could easily have snuck around and "dated" this young man and I would not have knows. So in answer to the question what is a good age for a daughter to start dating, for me never, but realistically between 17 & 18. My opinion only.

Jen - posted on 06/09/2010

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i started dating at 17 not like my mum stopped me i just wasnt into guys till i went on to college

Crissy - posted on 06/09/2010

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There's no wrong or right answer however if you're unsure maybe allow group dates. I remember my first real school dance was in 6th grade and my parents would only let me go in a group of friends, not on a one on one date. With all of our children, not just the girls, my husband and I have decided that when they turn 13 they can start going on group dates with a parent chaperone, if we can establish trust and responsiblity then and only then will we consider unchaperoned group dates i.e. drop them off at the movies instead of staying at the movies with them. Not until they are at least 16 will we allow them to go on a "real" date without having to be in a group of friends. Some people have told us that's unrealistic and strict but I feel that everybody has their own views and opinions on the subject and quite frankly that is mine.

Kelly - posted on 06/09/2010

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I have decided to personally not let my daughter date until she is 16...not because of anything more than they move fater these days and I think emotionally they aren't ready to handle what boys may throw at them...they just start to early!!!

JuLeah - posted on 06/08/2010

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I agree with you that boys need this as much as girls. The pressure they are under to be a 'real man' whatever that is, can be stressful. And, communication with boys is so different ... they often don't talk :)

Iridescent - posted on 06/08/2010

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JuLeah, you have some excellent suggestions that I will certainly remember! I am so glad you posted. My oldest son is 11, and with what you posted, I think it is just as important to teach him as it is to teach our girls when they're older. The "how to date" portion really is missed. We have done age level sex ed with our children, never even considering the rest of the dating scene, but it is even more important than the sex ed portion! Thank you.

Nichole - posted on 06/08/2010

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My parents let me start dating with a tag-along at 14. I was allow to date without a parent around at 15. I was only allowed to date guys in high school (until I was 17) and no older than 2 years (that was a rule until I met my now husband, he's 2 1/2 years older, and I was 19 when i met him.)

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