When should a baby sleep in his own crib?

Kim - posted on 05/04/2009 ( 153 moms have responded )

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My baby is 1 month and a week old and ever since he's been home he has always slept with me because it made it easier to breastfeed. I have tried to put him in his own crib to sleep but he would cry everytime unless he is in deep sleep. I've only been able to put him down 3 times in his crib. I don't want him to have to be in my arms to be able to fall asleep. It is ok to let him sleep with me for right now since he's still young and wait till he's a few months old or should I try to get him to sleep in his own crib now?

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[deleted account]

Cribs are very useful for storage of extra blankets, stuffed animals, but babies should be with their mothers.. your baby can sleep with you as long as you want. Most nursing mums move their babies to a seperate crib in the same room once they sleep thru the night, and eventually to another room when the BABY is ready. The idea that putting your child in a dark room and letting them scream or cry themselves to sleep is a good thing is ridiculous. A baby moniter is no substitute for a child waking up and easily dozing back to sleep knowing mum and dad are right there.

Ally - posted on 05/05/2009

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Kim,

I really hope you don't take the advice of anyone on here telling you to let your 5 week old cry it out! That is insane and just cruel. It is true that some doctors will tell you that the cry it out approach is acceptable however even the die hard fans will not reccomend it before 6 months. If your baby is crying it is because they need something at this age. You are needed to meet his physical as well as his emotional needs at this very tender age and much research has shown the babies who co-sleep safely actually have a healthier attachment pattern to their parents and the countries with the highest rates of co-sleeping usually have the lowests SIDS rate because moms breathing pattern regulates the babies. Even though the AAP doesn't current;y reccomend co-sleeping they do say that the baby should be in arms reach of mom for the first 6 months. I really don't know why there is such a push to make a newborn independent. I did one of my final research projects in nursing school on the benefits of co-sleeping and one of the best resources I found (that was also easy to understand !) was the baby sleep book by dr. sears. I would really suggest checking it out. We still co-sleep with our daughter who is 13 and a half months and we still breastfeed and although she sleeps through the night most nights sometimes she still wants to nurse and like you said it is so much easier and I don't even have to open my eyes.We are in the process just now of starting to sleep her in the crib and she has started the night out in her crib for the last 3 nights with no problem and woke around 2am and we brought her to bed with us for the second part of the night.



Do what you are comfortable with. for most intelligent adults so-sleeping is not only convenient and allows everyone to get more rest but can be even safer than crib sleeping while promoting extended breastfeeding. Obviously don't have your baby covered with big fluffy bedding or have lots of pillows , don't ever bring your baby to bed with you if you or your husband has been drinking or using any mind altering drug (illicit drugs or even pain relievers that cause drowsiness). Don't fall asleep with your baby on the sofa or in a recliner and if either you or your partner are very obese or suffer from sleep apnea or other disorders co-sleeping may not be the right choice for you. We have thoroughly enjoyed our co-sleeping experience and would do it again in a heartbeat. I haven't met anyone who said they wished they had snuggled less with their children while they were little!



http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_roo...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000...

http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-...

Connie - posted on 05/09/2009

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My opinion...FROM BIRTH!! I have been a nanny for 15 years and I think that is the best way.I also have a 3 1/2 year old and she's never slept in my bed. I have laid in hers on occassion when she's been sick, but she's never slept in mine. When she was young, I'd get up, feed her, and put her right back to bed. As long as you are consistent it's relatively easy to get them to sleep in their crib right away. It will be much harder when they get older and can really protest! Do it now! :)

[deleted account]

I never had my girls in bed with me. In the beginning we slept in the same room, but she was in her stroller (flatbed). I moved her into her own room and crib at 3 months. Its not easy, but not that hard either. However, I do not believe in babies crying themselves to sleep. Train your baby to understand that you are there for him, that way he will be comfortable and confident in his own bed. A little crying is Ok, but I would say no more than 5 minutes at a time. I recommend a book called Healthy baby sleep habits. The No cry solution.

Lauren - posted on 05/09/2009

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I can't believe that any mother would say to let a one month old baby cry it out in there crib! Are you crazy?!? The baby is one month old, they need comfort and care and their mothers to be there at all times. I'm just completly apauled that a mother who loves there child would even consider the idea of that at such a young age... It's sick!

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Iya - posted on 11/30/2013

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I am with you on this. Breastfeeding and co sleeping just go hand in hand. But a mother who breastfed knows that breastfeeding is NOT FOR THE LAZY lol hooray for breastfeeding !! :-)

Iya - posted on 11/30/2013

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I have to agree with a lot of moms here who opted for co-sleeping. I am born and raised in the Philippines but moved to alaska when I got married. Back home, letting a baby "cry it out" is unheard of. And SIDS is not rampant. It is really sad how the society has made co-sleeping seem like a bad practice. My son is now 8mos old and still co-sleeping. He is very independent and trusting, I would not have it any other way. If there are two things I do not like about the western way if raising kids: formul feeding and cry it out technique. I just don't get it. My son is very affectionate and loving. I am eventually going to train him to sleep on his own when we are both ready. With the type of relationship I have with him and he with me, I know I'll be able to tell when it's time. :-)

Lauren - posted on 05/09/2009

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I can't believe that any mother would say to let a one month old baby cry it out in there crib! Are you crazy?!? The baby is one month old, they need comfort and care and their mothers to be there at all times. I'm just completly apauled that a mother who loves there child would even consider the idea of that at such a young age... It's sick!

Amanda - posted on 05/09/2009

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i have a three and half month old daughter who is very contented and happy. we sleep cuddled up to each other every night and have since the day i had her. the way she indicates to me that something is wrong is by crying. i need to listen to her, and parent her. if i decided to let her 'cry it out' so that i could get more sleep, i know in my heart i would be breaking trust that is essential to a developing baby and would be very selfish, considering that i signed up for parenthood. the 'cry it out' method and babies sleeping alone is a western phenomena. the pervading, more natural and emotionally bonding, is sleeping together in a family bed. sleeping with your baby, and 'wearing' your baby in a sling are ageless and used in most cultures across the globe. having your baby 'cry it out' and sleep alone is one man's idea that has spread. it's spread and now look at the crisis that we have with u.s. families.

when it's time for etta to go to sleep, i rock her until she is in light sleep, then i lay down next to her and nurse her to sleep. sometimes i fall asleep with her, sometimes i gently slide out of the bed and spend valuable time with my husband.

etta is apart of our family. i would never separate her form it, day or night.

Melissa - posted on 05/09/2009

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Quoting Kim:

When should a baby sleep in his own crib?

My baby is 1 month and a week old and ever since he's been home he has always slept with me because it made it easier to breastfeed. I have tried to put him in his own crib to sleep but he would cry everytime unless he is in deep sleep. I've only been able to put him down 3 times in his crib. I don't want him to have to be in my arms to be able to fall asleep. It is ok to let him sleep with me for right now since he's still young and wait till he's a few months old or should I try to get him to sleep in his own crib now?



you should make him/her sleep on there own from birth because the longer u leave it the harder  it will be to make there sleep on there own i no its hard but you will get there...



 

Lizi - posted on 05/09/2009

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believe me love the closeness with your baby while you can , because when they grow you wish you had done...i have 4 children and each one was different...it depends on your bonding and baby anxiety...baby feel safe with you really close...baby will let you know when want space...try light and sounds to sooth baby in own crib...1 baby of mine was left to cry for 2 nights and after that baby slept threw...as you can see i had 4 kids and still no text book lol....i wish you good sleeps and love to you all..xx

Lori - posted on 05/09/2009

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If you want baby to sleep in the same room but not in the bed and don't want to buy a bassinette just buy a portable crib. You can roll it all around the house and it goes through doors better and is more comfy to sleep in than a pack n play. It holds up to 40lbs and price is minimal approximately 100 dollars. You can order online and it will be delivered to your door :)

Vanessa - posted on 05/08/2009

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Quoting Tamara:



Quoting Jodi:

If we all really think about it no one ever really has kids because they are supposed to be easy any way. So I don't think moms are cosleeping because it's easy, I think i'ts because they are to tired and lazy to get out of bed.





Yes, I am lazy.  Something about desiring to sleep more than an hour at a time between nursing sessions for the first several months of my daughter's life necessitated cosleeping and honestly and my husband I enjoy having the LO in our bed.  It makes us feel very secure.






us too Tamara......i totally agree.



sleep in our house is lovely natural togetherness and i see the benefits of co-sleeping in my children every single day.



to train your baby/child not to ask for help and not to need you at a very tender age is disturbing to me.



and for those who want to know about my sex life with my husband......all i can say is... "do you only ever have sex in BED and NIGHT time???"



and for those making ridiculous comments about co-sleeping causes SIDS.......you obviously don't know the first thing about co-sleeping and breastfeeding. and just for future reference...



95% of babies that die from SIDS were sleeping alone!  its actually the other way around.... its solitary sleep that is dangerous to babies. thats why its called "COT DEATH''....its not called "sleeping with your mother death"....in cultures where co-sleeping is the norm, SIDS is just about unheard of!!! western society has been sold a whole load of crap regarding babies and young childrens sleep.

Dreeka - posted on 05/08/2009

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I allowed my daughter to sleep in my room/bed for 2 reasons: 1. I was paranoid about something happening to her and 2) I also breastfed and it was easier for me. It is better to have him sleep in his bed but you have time. Suggestions: I bought the bear that has the heartbeat sound and put one of my worn t-shirts on it for my scent. I also bought a mini co-sleeper. It is kinda like a bassinet that attaches securely to the side of your bed. That way if he wakes up to feed, you can easily reach him without having to get up-yet he is not in your bed. It has pockets and space for diapers, wipes, etc. I nursed for a year. After about 7 months, I felt she was too big for the co-sleeper. I should have at that point moved her to the crib. Instead, she moved to my bed. During the day she slept in her bed. I didn't put her in her crib overnight until she was about 9 months.



Make sure when you move him to his bed, you have established a routine- I did bath, nursed, story, bed- consistently. After the story, I put her in the crib, said good night, and left the room. She only cried the first night for about 2 minutes. After that, she was fine.

Tamara - posted on 05/08/2009

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Quoting Jodi:

If we all really think about it no one ever really has kids because they are supposed to be easy any way. So I don't think moms are cosleeping because it's easy, I think i'ts because they are to tired and lazy to get out of bed.


Yes, I am lazy.  Something about desiring to sleep more than an hour at a time between nursing sessions for the first several months of my daughter's life necessitated cosleeping and honestly and my husband I enjoy having the LO in our bed.  It makes us feel very secure.

Teresa - posted on 05/08/2009

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No its not safe or good for the child.Because the child will never learn to sleep in a bed by themself.Put him in his bed .if he starts to cry do like my mom did to me just walk away and let him cry he will cry himself to sleep.To many people make this mistake and end up rolling over on he child and the child dies in they sleep .Thats why its not safe for your child to sleep with you.Crying with help your child to understand that he is not awlay going to get he's way with you.Good luck.

Cassie - posted on 05/08/2009

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try one of those attachable things to your bed that the baby sleeps in... I did that with my daughter cause it was also easier to breastfeed her... it give you the comfy feeling that he's ok and him the feeling that you're always there...

another thing I would try is wrapping him in a blanket like they do newborns in the hospital and putting him down.. also make sure he has a full tummy so he doesn't wake up as often in the middle of the night...

Jacy - posted on 05/08/2009

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with my daughter i had her in a bassinette in my room with me... she did co sleep with me a little bit but not much. at about 2 1/2 months i started having her nap in her crib. and when she started to wake once a night (3 months) i put her in her crib in her own room to sleep. the only way my daughter sleeps in my bed with me is if she is sick. other then that its a no go lol...

every mom will give you a different answer. co sleeping isnt for everyone (its not for me). i think babies become too used to it and it makes it very difficult for them to transition to their own bed.

maybe try swaddling your son and also start him on getting used to his crib. have him in it while you put his clothes away and talk to him so he knows your there. then he will learn that you will come back to him.

Jacy - posted on 05/08/2009

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with my daughter i had her in a bassinette in my room with me... she did co sleep with me a little bit but not much. at about 2 1/2 months i started having her nap in her crib. and when she started to wake once a night (3 months) i put her in her crib in her own room to sleep. the only way my daughter sleeps in my bed with me is if she is sick. other then that its a no go lol...

every mom will give you a different answer. co sleeping isnt for everyone (its not for me). i think babies become too used to it and it makes it very difficult for them to transition to their own bed.

maybe try swaddling your son and also start him on getting used to his crib. have him in it while you put his clothes away and talk to him so he knows your there. then he will learn that you will come back to him.

Allyssia - posted on 05/08/2009

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I did not let my son sleep with but the frist 5 weeks I would rock him to sleep and then sneek him to his room. IAnd do this every time he would wake up. So my docter told me to put him in bed let him cry and if he was still crying in 20min go and com him down and put him right bck in bed. And just keep diding that he is asleep. I put him down and i took a hot bath. I did have to go in and get him to only one time. then he gave up. It just took us that one time. Becouse when he nused the night all had to was put him down. I think it will be harded on you if you try to brake this at like 2.

[deleted account]

When they are ready. My daughter was 9 months old when I put her in her own crib. Transition was hard the first few nights, there was a little bit of crying. We were both ready though and the transition ended up going really smoothly and she loves her own bed. She hasn't wanted to sleep anywhere but by herself in her crib since :)

Jamie - posted on 05/08/2009

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my daughter is 3 months i also have 2 other kids. my 3 month old was like that try makeing a bed in livingroom and put him in it there till he is asleep then move him to his on bed it will be hard at frist but he will get us to it

Amy - posted on 05/08/2009

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My daughter slept in my bed with me for the first couple of months after she got home from the hospital. When she was about 2 1/2 months old, I started putting her in her crib after she'd fallen asleep at naptime. After about a week or so of that I was able to put her down for naps in her crib without her being asleep. By the time she was 4 months old, she was taking naps and sleeping nights in her crib with no problems.



I disagree that there is a problem having an infant in bed with you - or in a basinet next to your bed, but I read that they should be sleeping in their own crib by 4 months so it doesn't become a problem. It worked out really well for me, so hopefully it will work for you too.



And I would recommend that if your baby is crying for more than a few minutes that you go and comfort him. You may need to do the transition from your bed to his crib differently than I did with my daughter, but he'll get used to it. Good luck!

Amy - posted on 05/08/2009

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The longer you wait the harder it will be. Mine were always in a bassinet beside my bed, but in their own room by 2 months with the second even sooner because I knew that I could hear him when he cried and I could sleep better without hearing every sound. I admire that you want to put him down to fall asleep, but the longer you let him sleep with you, the harder he will cry later. When you put him down, soothe him by patting and talking softly, but then walk away. Go back in to talk softly to him, but gradually back off on touching him until you are only speaking to him. Then just talk to him from the doorway. Make the length of time between your contact longer each time. I spent quite a while in the hallway. It only took a few nights. I got this idea from the TV show Mad About You and really believe in it. It helped me with both of my children, who went to bed on their own from a very young age. Best wishes for a great night's sleep.

Emma - posted on 05/08/2009

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Hi x x My daughter is 7 months old now but when she was new born she slept in a moses basket at the side of me. I used this for her day time and night time and then by the age of 3 months as she was getting a little too big for it we put the basket into her cot so that she could get used to being surrounded by the bars and the big space but still have the comfort of the closeness of the basket ( if that makes sense ) she slept like this for about 3 weeks then we took the basket away and she has slept there ever since no problems 10 hours a night x It is important that babies have a bed time routine as soon as possible, you might not think it matters them being so small but it really does, i made the huge mistake of allowing my son to sleep with us and taking him to bed when he fell asleep as aposed to him going to bed to fall asleep and we had months of tantrums and tears when we wanted him to go earlier without us, its worth it for your sanity more than anything lol good luck

Mas-mas - posted on 05/08/2009

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Post a reply!my daughter slept in her cot frm the day she was brought home, i breast fed but i didnt want my daughter 2 pick up any bad habits. so i put her into a routine from early...it has made my life very easy i wld wake up 2 feed her & straight bak 2 bed, this also meant we wld both get 8 hrs sleep at night.

this also meant i had no problems wid getting her 2 sleep in her own room...shes now 2 & nghts r not a problem!

Robyn - posted on 05/08/2009

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Posted by Jodi Evans-Gay (yesterday, 3:19 am)
If we all really think about it no one ever really has kids because they are supposed to be easy any way. So I don't think moms are cosleeping because it's easy, I think i'ts because they are to tired and lazy to get out of bed.

LOL I don't think that is true, I cosleep with all 5 of mine and it had nothing to do with lazy, have you breast feed? lol for 2 year with 5 children, I think that cosleeping has a lot to do with attachment, I think it says a lot about a mother that would detach herself from her newborn child, that would be ok with that little baby in another room away from her, i also think that todays women throw poison in the direction of mothers that mother naturally and its very sad, how can any women...A MOTHER look down on sleeping next to her baby...it's very unnatural. note: cosleeping is not that much easer, because you have other things to deal with like when u want to be close with your husband you have to leave the bed, when it is time to move the child to there own bed, it does take a little extra work, it is much easier to train your child to not need you, to go against what has been put in them naturally, to teach them from the crib to be on there own "WOW"

Jennifer - posted on 05/08/2009

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your baby should sleep in his own crib from day one...my brother is 3 years old and still sometimes sleeps with my mom...if you don't stop it now then it will be harder when they get older

Robyn - posted on 05/08/2009

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OMG! Don't let him cry it out, that is so cruel! we sleep with all 5 of our children till they were 2 years old, I also breast feed my youngest till she was 2. It is easier to get them out of the bed then most would lead you to think. The closeness you get from breast feeding and having your baby next to you it beautiful, I agree that if you had put the baby in his own crib then he would know nothing but that, but since he already knows the safety and comfort of being right next to mama, then it would be horrible in my opinion to move him away from you. so many women are detached , you have to have balance you can sleep with your baby, that to me is the norm. I would not sit up and hold him when he is asleep after you feed , sing, rock or what ever you do, and he falls to sleep, lay him down right away, if he wakes up, just rub his tummy or head and talk soft to him, don't pick him, after a while he will fall asleep.So many women are ok with putting this little person that they carried for 9 months in a crib in another room.. Just enjoy your baby!!!! and DONT LET HIM CRY IT OUT :0(

KayLa - posted on 05/08/2009

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Quoting Ericka:

Only a heartless person would tell another parent to let them cry it out. That's not good advice and I hope you don't take it.



This is so far from the truth. Some babies are stubborn just as toddlers and teens can be stubborn. I am not speaking from experience but I do have a cousin that has a 1 year old going through this exact problem. Her daughter is absolutely fine in her own bed until she leaves the room, then she begins to throw fits. The only way that she will successfully sleep in her own bed is if she is left to cry until she realizes that it will not get her "her way" but only a tear-filled night of sleeping IN HER OWN BED!

Teresa - posted on 05/08/2009

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To avoid the sleep sharing in my bed, I slept in my sons nursery for the first two months. I was so afraid that I wouldn't hear him in the middle of the night so I just camped out there. Eventually once I got over the fear I put him in his crib at about 3 months old. He did great! And now at 14 1/2 months old he sleeps in his crib for his naps and bedtime! I still keep the monitor on so I can see and hear him if I wake up in the middle of the night but I just keep remembering that I am just across the hall, and if something is wrong he will let me know!! Try doing nap times in his crib, and then at night put him in, he will probably cry but eventually ( I would say within a week) he will catch on that his crib is where he sleeps! Good Luck!!!!

Teresa - posted on 05/08/2009

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To avoid the sleep sharing in my bed, I slept in my sons nursery for the first two months. I was so afraid that I wouldn't hear him in the middle of the night so I just camped out there. Eventually once I got over the fear I put him in his crib at about 3 months old. He did great! And now at 14 1/2 months old he sleeps in his crib for his naps and bedtime! I still keep the monitor on so I can see and hear him if I wake up in the middle of the night but I just keep remembering that I am just across the hall, and if something is wrong he will let me know!! Try doing nap times in his crib, and then at night put him in, he will probably cry but eventually ( I would say within a week) he will catch on that his crib is where he sleeps! Good Luck!!!!

Cathleen - posted on 05/08/2009

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My daughter was in a basinet until she was 3 months old, and we found it very hard to get her into her own crib, it took us almsot 2 months. And the last week, we just got so fed up, we had to let her cry herself to sleep for 6 nights, and now she's 8 months old, and she's fine. I still bring her into bed in the morning for an hour so I can breastfeed her and she loves to play with mommy in bed. But we never let her more than that unless I'm really sick... and even then, it's not often since I don't want to get her sick.

Lygia - posted on 05/08/2009

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My Dr. told me "I have never hospitalized a baby for crying" I put mine in a crib in my room for about 6 weeks and then into their own room after that. With all the cool baby monitors that they have now it is not really scary at all. He will sleep better and longer in his own bed and will learn to sooth himself sooner. My cousin had a great idea as well, she put about 6 pacificers in the bed so no matter where the baby turned there would be one to find. I tried it when mine were about 6 months and it worked great. It is much better for your marriage to put the baby in his own bed.

Staci - posted on 05/08/2009

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My Niece is three and she gets up everynight and climbs into bed with her parents...they started letting her sleep with them because she cried when they put her in her crib...my little girl is 3 months now and sleeps through the night in her crib because thats the routine we have her in. I only lay her in there at night and not for naps or anything else I want her to know thats were she is suppose to go to bed

Jennifer - posted on 05/07/2009

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You'll both know when it's time for your baby to sleep in his/her crib. Your baby is still very young and you have time to work on other sleep associations. My daughter didn't move out of our room until she was 5 months old. She napped in her crib some of the time before that but I also held her a lot. There can be medical issues why a baby doesn't like to lay flat as reflux is common but again, your baby is really young and may just need time as they call the first 3 months the 4th trimester. My daughter loves her room and her crib now. I still nap with her occassionaly. We didn't push it or make it a scary place. It's easy to worry you are doing something wrong but just go with it and trust your instincts. Books or what other people think will drive you crazy-I speak from experience. If you need a book, check out the No Cry series. I liked her books because she is a mom and doesn't scare you into thinking you will ruin your child.

Tamara - posted on 05/07/2009

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Quoting Jodi:

It would be better to break the bed habit now then before it gets worse. He will only cry for so long. And it will get less and less every night. Just make sure you go in and check on him every 5-10 minutes or keep a baby monitor on until you know that he is asleep and okay. I neve understood the cosleeping thing. Do people not know about the risks of SIDS when you co-sleep?


This is actually a mistaken belief about cosleeping.  If you will please look over Dr. James McKenna's article in the Cambridge Handbook of Child Development (http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/articles...), he remarks that:





It is generally thought that there may well be more
than one cause of SIDS, but the most compelling general
hypothesis is that the fatal event is related to the control
of breathing and/or arousal during sleep. Perhaps an
infant has a normal breathing pause during some phase
of sleep, but the arousal mechanisms in the brain are
unable to awaken the baby thus permitting the use of
voluntary brain structures to breathe, or to reinitiate
breathing. We know that deeper stages of sleep
(Stage 3 or 4) as measured by EEG, which are prolonged
by solitary infant sleep environments, are more difficult
stages of sleep from which to awaken during a
respiratory crisis than are lighter stages of sleep (viz.,
Stage 1 or 2, the latter complying with REM sleep).
Or, it
could be that some kind of fast-acting bacteria place a
strain on the entire cardiorespiratory apparatus of an
infant and, in combination with an arousal deficit, or
some other as yet unidentified factor, the bacteria prove
fatal.





 



(The emphasis on that sentence is mine)  Further on in the article, he remarks that an infant sleeping separate from its mother is only an invention of the last 100 years.  Before that, it was a normal activity to sleep in the same bed with one's child until they transitioned to their own bed.  He also states that there is a difference between cosleeping unsafely and having a safe cosleeping environment and proceeds to list those differences.

Melissa - posted on 05/07/2009

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My little had very bad gas and would wake often during the night. So, like you, she spent most nights asleep on my right from the get go. It took about a month and I was able to transition her to her crib. I would rock her to sleep and gently transfer her to her crib. When she woke up, I would soothe her and put her back in the crib. I'm not a big fan of letting kids under six months old cry it out. At that age, they haven't yet learned to cry on demand to get what they want. They are still crying out of real need, wether a diaper change, food or ATTENTION, you should give it to them. Good luck!!! Mine sleeps in her crib, but not all night :)

Tina - posted on 05/07/2009

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I breast my son for 6 months. During the first few week I too kept him in my bed for the sake of it being easier. After a few weeks I was able to put him in a pack and play so that I could rest as well. I kept him in my bedroom up until he was five months which I then intoroduced the crib.

Marta - posted on 05/07/2009

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My daughter slept in her crib from the day one, but she was beside our bed, in the same room. And yes, every time she'd start to cry I'd get up to check on her, but I didn't take her to bed with us. I agree with all the mothers which said you also need time for your partner and yourself. Both my daughter and I are restless sleepers, and I'd prolly be awake for half the night, fearing to crush her or push her off the bed.
The final choice is all yours. If you feel comfortable with your baby beside you, keep it that way. However, if you're affraid it could cause problems in the future, or you are simply not comfortable with it, let him sleep in his own bed. I think the expression "cry himself to sleep" was taken too literally here-of course you won't let your boy cry for hours. It meant that if you decide to put him to his crib, and he starts to cry, you should let him cry a bit (say for 5 minutes), then enter the room and address him in soothing voice, maybe rock the cradle, and insure him you're there. Each time let him cry for a bit longer, eventually he'll learn. I disagree with parents who said he was "too young" to be left to cry. Babies cry from their birth, its the only way they can express their needs, but also their disagreement. They learn very quickly how to "make" you do something they want-its a subtle way of manipulation. They cry when they're wet, hungry, or in pain, but they can also cry when they're bored, or if they wanna get up from bed. So, if you decide to put him in his own bed, and he starts to cry, talk to him and show yourself to him, but do not pick him up. He'll soon learn that each time he cries, you'll come and pick him up.
Good luck!

Alana - posted on 05/07/2009

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I think that children should be encouraged to sleep in their beds from the start. There will be those times when they're afraid, when they're not feeling too well, or they just feel like being close, and my suggestion is to make the exception only during those times. You don't want to have your children in the bed with you always... killing your you time, your boo time, etc. We make their beds so we must encourage them to sleep in them.

Marie - posted on 05/07/2009

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I would definitely get him in his own crib asap. I would put one of those little pillow things by him and maybe some sort of white noise, I used and still do use an air purifier as a white noise in my little ones room, it helps to drown out other sounds in the house and she sleeps very well. Good luck!!

Luan - posted on 05/07/2009

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I did what you did. My girl is now 5 and still I am struggling to get her out my bed. My boy is two, I' got one of those toddler beds and put it next to ours, so we have a suppa large looking bed, so were slowly but surely moving him out. Having kids in your bed is not very good for your love life either. Try now before it is too late. Mine still won't go to bed unless I am with them. It's annoying when all your friends gop to bed on their own, in their own bed without complaints. You are making a rod for your own back , believe me.

Monique - posted on 05/07/2009

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From DAY ONE!!! It is hard and you will not want to keep getting up and going back and forth but believe me, if you want to still have a relationship with your husband at NIGHT, put that baby in his own bed and walk back and forth. What we did with our last child was I put a twin size bed in the room with her. So when ever she was sick and I just wanted to listen to her breath, or I knew it was going to be a long night, I would sleep in her room. Once babies get used to that warmth of another person lying next to them, it is hard to take them from that. Better off now then later.

Breanna - posted on 05/07/2009

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for me it helped using a bassanet beside the bed first so that its handy for breastfeeding but the baby is still in his own bed it made getting my oldest to the crib easier

Courtney - posted on 05/07/2009

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i put my daughter in a baasinet in my room for the first four months and the doctor said to start putting her in her bed in her room and i tried and the first night she sleep the whole night and every since then she sleeps in her bed all night...when she wakes up in the middle of the night, dont go in the room unless she has been crying for more than 5-10 minutes!!

Lisa - posted on 05/07/2009

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my 4 mo old twins have been in their crib every night since we brought them home. Let him cry for 10 min and then go comfort him and then put him back down. keep doing this until he falls asleep

Trish - posted on 05/07/2009

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both mine slept in their own mosses basket from birth transfering to a cot at about 3mths old. the longer u keep your child in bed with you then the harder it will be to get them to sleep on their own as they become used to sleeping with you.

Trish - posted on 05/07/2009

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both mine slept in their own mosses basket from birth transfering to a cot at about 3mths old. the longer u keep your child in bed with you then the harder it will be to get them to sleep on their own as they become used to sleeping with you.

Jodi - posted on 05/07/2009

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If we all really think about it no one ever really has kids because they are supposed to be easy any way. So I don't think moms are cosleeping because it's easy, I think i'ts because they are to tired and lazy to get out of bed.

Jodi - posted on 05/07/2009

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It would be better to break the bed habit now then before it gets worse. He will only cry for so long. And it will get less and less every night. Just make sure you go in and check on him every 5-10 minutes or keep a baby monitor on until you know that he is asleep and okay. I neve understood the cosleeping thing. Do people not know about the risks of SIDS when you co-sleep?

[deleted account]

Excellent question, Kim. I hope you are doing well and not feeling too overwhelmed by so many responses. I will give you my opinion. I have a son who is 4 and a daughter who is 2 and a 1/2. They are both great sleepers and have been from a pretty early age. I believe that routines including sleep routines should be established at about 6 mos or so. Before then you have to give them what they want because it is almost always a need before this age. I have concerns with babies sleeping in beds because of bedding hazards, falls, and parents rolling over (it has happened and it would be the most devastating thing imaginable). My children could roll over at 4 months and my daughter was crawling at 5 months. Once they can move it can become even more dangerous. If you need to be in the same room as your child, try a bassinet or sleeping in their room. I had the Angel Monitor that monitored baby's movement and breathing and would alert you if they stopped breathing. It helped me sleep when my son came home as he was a preemie and had spent a couple of months in the hospital. My son couldn't nurse laying down so I didn't ever have that issue with him. My daughter spent the first few months falling asleep nursing in my bed but I would transfer her to her bed when she fell asleep. When she stopped nursing so frequently I started letting her self-soothe. She was about 5 1/2 months old. That is when we started routines for bedtime, mealtime, playtime and naptime. My kids still follow routines for nap and bedtime (yes my 4 year old still naps). I did sleep train my kids at about 6 months and allowed them to cry. I also used a video monitor for awhile so I could see that they were okay. They both are great sleepers now and neither of them sleep in my room. Neither are in cribs now and if they are sick or need me I go into their room to sleep. They do crawl into bed with us in the morning, but they have only known their own beds to sleep in. I hope this has been helpful and you should know that whatever you do it is the right thing for you. Best of luck!

[deleted account]

Excellent question, Kim. I hope you are doing well and not feeling too overwhelmed by so many responses. I will give you my opinion. I have a son who is 4 and a daughter who is 2 and a 1/2. They are both great sleepers and have been from a pretty early age. I believe that routines including sleep routines should be established at about 6 mos or so. Before then you have to give them what they want because it is almost always a need before this age. I have concerns with babies sleeping in beds because of bedding hazards, falls, and parents rolling over (it has happened and it would be the most devastating thing imaginable). My children could roll over at 4 months and my daughter was crawling at 5 months. Once they can move it can become even more dangerous. If you need to be in the same room as your child, try a bassinet or sleeping in their room. I had the Angel Monitor that monitored baby's movement and breathing and would alert you if they stopped breathing. It helped me sleep when my son came home as he was a preemie and had spent a couple of months in the hospital. My son couldn't nurse laying down so I didn't ever have that issue with him. My daughter spent the first few months falling asleep nursing in my bed but I would transfer her to her bed when she fell asleep. When she stopped nursing so frequently I started letting her self-soothe. She was about 5 1/2 months old. That is when we started routines for bedtime, mealtime, playtime and naptime. My kids still follow routines for nap and bedtime (yes my 4 year old still naps). I did sleep train my kids at about 6 months and allowed them to cry. I also used a video monitor for awhile so I could see that they were okay. They both are great sleepers now and neither of them sleep in my room. Neither are in cribs now and if they are sick or need me I go into their room to sleep. They do crawl into bed with us in the morning, but they have only known their own beds to sleep in. I hope this has been helpful and you should know that whatever you do it is the right thing for you. Best of luck!

Elizabeth - posted on 05/06/2009

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I know exactly what you're going through. I didn't breastfeed, but I found it so much easier to wake up in the middle of the night to feed and then fall asleep together. My daughter is going to be 3 in July and she still comes in my room to sleep with me. I still live at home so my parents don't agree with it...but I think it's what ever works best for you. If that's waht it takes then that's what it takes.

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