When should my newborn start sleeping alone?

Raquel - posted on 12/17/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 3 weeks old and has slept in our bed every night. Im scared to put her down alone but i dont want her to get use to sleeping with us.

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Krystie - posted on 12/17/2009

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my 4 month old still sleeps with me, as did all my other kids, kid 1 was in his own room by 2yrs. kid 2 was in her own cot by 6 weeks, in her own room by 9 months and in a bed by 15 months, kid 3 was in with me till he was 15 months old, kid 4 was in our bed till 3 weeks ago and baby still is. they are now 7, 5, 4, 2 an d 4 months. i like co-sleeping it helps me breastfeed for longer, i get some sleep and no one else is distrubed. hubby ned not wake at night unless i need him. there are rules to safe co-sleeping/bedsharing and i follow them all. why worry about baby becoing used to sleeping in your bed, they do move in their own time, none of my older ones have needed to come into my bed once they turned 2.

Victoria - posted on 12/17/2009

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It is highly adviced that you never sleep with your baby in the bed because of a high risk of smothering. Even if you think that you will always remember that your baby is in bed with you, accidents do happen. Listen to your doctor and nurses when they say don't sleep with your baby. Both of my girls have slept on their own from day one and they are very independent and happy girls.

Katrina - posted on 12/17/2009

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My Daughter slept be herself from day one. i suggest you purchase the respisense breathing monitor, it clips on to there nappies and monitors their breathing. If the baby stops breathing it vibrates to get it going again and if the baby doesn't within 5 seconds than an alam goes off so you attend to him/her. I got it for peace of mind.

Barb - posted on 12/17/2009

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I have always lived by the rule...if they are still doing it when they are 10 then I'll worry. I used to wait until my kids were sound asleep and move them into their bed. The biggest thing I learned was it was usually a bigger deal to us as parents then it ever was to my kids. Kids adapt amazingly well. So what if you get to enjoy the baby in bed with you for a while...it will be short term. Sleeping alone is pretty natural so I wouldn't let it scare you...the baby will be fine and probably waking you up in a couple hours anyways. Sleep when you can and enjoy it.

Kasie - posted on 12/17/2009

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Raquel,

It all depends on what you are comfy with. Mine is 9 months old and just started sleeping on her own. I think I miss it more that she does. I say treasure the time you have together and if it is causing an issue with your sleep or hers then its time to find an alternative.

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User - posted on 12/19/2009

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Some people are for the baby in bed bonding which I have nothing against but if you do it for a long time it will be one hard thing to break. I never ever did this with my child for fear of smothering him in my sleep. I would recommened maybe just putting the bassenet next to your side of the bed. I did this for the first three months and on the fourth month I moved it to the corner of my room so he knew I was still near. On the fifth month I put him in his bed and slept like a baby. I hear horror stories all the time of kids sleeping in their parents bed at the age of 6 or 7. My son is three and he has only slept in my bed when he is really sick. He prefers his bed because he thinks he is a big boy. There is no right or wrong answer just be ready for the tantrums at night if you let the bundle of joy sleep in your bed for to long.

Raquel - posted on 12/19/2009

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Quoting Katrina:

My Daughter slept be herself from day one. i suggest you purchase the respisense breathing monitor, it clips on to there nappies and monitors their breathing. If the baby stops breathing it vibrates to get it going again and if the baby doesn't within 5 seconds than an alam goes off so you attend to him/her. I got it for peace of mind.


This sounds like something I would totally buy. Thank You for the info.

Mollie - posted on 12/18/2009

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It's not safe for a child under one year to sleep in your bed at all. My first slept in a bassinet in my room until he didn't fit anymore and then moved to the crib in his own room. I am doing the same with my second.

JeremynTrish - posted on 12/18/2009

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my daughter slept in her crib for the first year then we moved and she was moved to a toddler bed and then we moved again and she refused to sleep in her bed so she slept with us. When she was 22 months i had another baby and they both slept with us for a couple of weeks then i moved her toddler bed in our room and she slept in that and then after 2 weeks of that she moved intoher own room and slept in there and then when we moved again and she still slept in her toddler bed UNTIL last december when I put up the twin bed and she REFUSED to sleep in it. here a year later she is still sleepig with us and we have yet another baby we are Now trying to get her to sleep in her own bed. So i recommend if you dont want to sleep with a 4 year old then put her in her own bed :)

Brandi - posted on 12/18/2009

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my daughter was 2 months old when we put her in her own room and she did amazing. she sleeps through the whole night.

September - posted on 12/18/2009

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Our son slept alone the day he came home from the hospital. I just put his bassinette right next to our bed so that he was still close to me. We moved him to his crib at 3 months once he had outgrown the bassinette. I can understand your worries but like you said you don't want her getting use to sleeping with you all the time. Best wishes!

Celeste - posted on 12/17/2009

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i know exactly how u feel. i didn't want to put my children by themselves, but they will be okay. we put the bassinet right next to our bed and when they started sleeping the whole night they went into their own room. it's entirely up to you what u do but u don't want to build a bridge for ur own back

Renae - posted on 12/17/2009

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Most behaviourists recommend she should go in her own cot by 12 weeks. I think, the sooner you do it the better. The more she is used to sleeping with you the harder it will be for her to adjust and you may end up having to use a sleep method on her which might include a crying method. My personal advice is to avoid having to use ANY sleep method by not going down this track in the first place. But, it also depends how long you are happy to have her in your bed for? Do you plan on her still being there in 12 months? If yes, then sleep with her for as long as you like. If no, then the sooner you move her the less traumatic it will be.

Lisa - posted on 12/17/2009

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i will not let my kids spend the night in my bed unless we have stayed at a friends or something rare like that. my son slept from day 1 to now 14mnths in his own bed and im due in march and im certain it will be the same. while they are young enough to be in a bassinet for instance i put them directly beside the bed so they r still right there (for realistically its the mothers who need it at beginning not baby) then slowly move then out into their own room and move monitors with them until old enough i dont need one

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Why not create a space next to your bed where she can sleep? It's perfect. She can be in and out of your bed all through the night for feeds and for comforting. I kept my oldest daughter in our room till she was 20 months old and she was directly beside my bed where I could touch her until she was 10 months old. All three of us (yep Daddy too) slept really well until my son arrived. The first 3 weeks with all four of us in the one room was bliss until they (the kids) started to wake each other up. I was freaking out about moving my daughter to her own room....Guess what? She loved it!! We had NO problems at all with the transition. I guess the morale to my story is don't let anybody feed your fears about 'she'll never get out of your bed or room' etc. as it is different for everybody. It depends on how you establish your relationship with your daughter, how you teach her to sleep (I used very gentle sleep teaching techniques) and how well you establish that trust between a parent and their child.

Melanie - posted on 12/17/2009

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Hi... I have never had Emily in our bed but have had her in her moses basket right next to us and took her in with us for a while in the morning when she woke up, she was in her basker for approx 12 weeks then moved her into her cot in our room, now she is in her cot in her own bedroom....

Melanie - posted on 12/17/2009

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i found putting my son in his own bed at start of night and then in the morning i out him in with me. it means u still get that bonding time with them.

User - posted on 12/17/2009

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Hi Raquel. If you want to have your bed back to yourselves sometime in the next year or so, I'd put her in her own bed as soon as possible. It won't be long at all before she can start having preferences about these things, and she'll naturally prefer to sleep with you if she can. At that point it will be much harder to make the transition. A bassinet in your own room can be a good way to start. It might be hard in the beginning, but soon both of you will be sleeping better.

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