When should you talk with your children about sex?!

Sarah - posted on 11/07/2009

I was a mother two weeks after my 17th birthday. My mother tried to talk to me once or twice about sex around 14-15, she always worked, so she was in the bath when she "had the talk"with me. needless to say that, hearing your mother talk about sex while taking a bath- you tend to tune out and look at the ceiling. I got my period when I was 12-13, my mother didn't really talk to me about it (saw a video in 6th grade). I had to find out from gym class that I needed to shower more. I'm not saying I didn't know anything, I took sex ed and had friends to talk to about that stuff, we figured things out as best as we could. I know that if my mother was more proactive and open with me about relationships and sex, I would have waited. I was in a abusive relationship with my daughter's father. I got my GED, went to college, and made a good life for my daughter. I want my daughter to have the best start in life and that starts with me. As parents are children come to us first for the answers, if we lie or just not talk about these things, their going to find out some other way, the information will probably be wrong or they'll just "see what's the big deal". I agree that our children are growing up to fast, that's why we need to talk to them as much as we can and instill beliefs and morals in our children before they have other people in their life who will try to influence them. We're raising adults, our children will be adults, its our job to raise and teach them the best we know how. Sex can be wonderful when your in love (or married)but sex can also be scary- with aids and 12 year olds getting pregnant.

Louella - posted on 11/07/2009

they grow up so fast anymore I think you should talk to your child about sex when they are around 12 years .I think people want there childern to grow up to fast any more.

Erin - posted on 11/07/2009

When I was 6, we moved out to a farm. Animal mated and babies were born. Mom fielded most of the questions and just told us the basics. It was the first or second summer we were out there that a mongrel dog mated with our purebred Siberian Husky. Since Mom and Dad only wanted her to have one litter before she was spayed, my sister and I got given the barest information about an abortion shot. All the information we got was always age appropriate. You answer questions now, they'll feel more comfortable asking you questions when they REALLY need the answers.

Christine - posted on 11/07/2009

I agree with you, if they ask they should be given age appropriate answers.

Erin - posted on 11/07/2009

I told my stepdaughter the same thing when she was five. She was rubbing herself alot in front of the tv and I just told her that since it had to do with her privates, she needed ot do it in the bedroom.

Amanda - posted on 11/07/2009

Thank you all so much for your comments. My daughter will be 6 this month. Most say that is way too early but I still believe if she asks questions (which isn't THAT often) I will answer them. We had to have a masturbation talk when she was 3 or 4 because she started doing it a lot in inappropriate places. I simply told her that what she was doing was called masturbation (mostly because she called it "exercise" and have no idea where she learned it was that. I wanted her to know the truth) Then I just told her that if she was going to do it she needed to do it in her room. She asked why and I told her because even though what she was doing was perfectly natural and fine, it was something that we do not do in public. She left the conversation satisfied and from that point on without hesitation she went to her room if she did it.

Erin - posted on 11/07/2009

My son was very into animals from an early age. Talking matter- of- fact about animals "mating" and seeing mating behavior in the wild helped because when he finally realized how humans "mate" it wasn't quite a shocker.

Kathy - posted on 11/07/2009

i say as early as the subject comes up . and it will . age appropriate obviously but i believe in being very open even whe it is uncomfortable . my husband is very blunt with my 15 year old daughter . he can tell her what guys are thinking at her age . she and i can talk about the more intamate details and mechanics . both parent need to be involved and open that's all . my boys 7 and 9 haven't asked too uch yet but when they do well just answer honestly and openly to the best of our ablility .

Yvonne - posted on 11/07/2009

I agree with as soon as they start asking or about 10 years old because things are happening so much sooner now and we don't want it to happen before we have our views put across to our children.

Louise - posted on 11/07/2009

hi I have a 10 year old son and a 7 year old daughter. I have to say that i agree with you.
At school my sons class have this year started "sex education", so i made sure he kept me up to date with what they had been tought so far. I decided myself though that i would explain to him about sex in words that he would understand and he seemed happy enough to have the conversation and knows that if he has any qusetions he can talk to me or his dad anytime about anything - that is the most important thing. I hope this is of some help to you

Sandra - posted on 11/07/2009

I completely agree with you. I have raised two children who are now adults. I always answered their questions honestly and was very open with them. You have to keep the lines of communication open with them so they are getting the right information. Also, they will always feel comfortable coming to you. Don't be surprised if their friends also talk openly in front of you or ask for your opinion as they get older. Always follow your instinct.

Amanda - posted on 11/07/2009

I agree. I think if children are asking questions and parents are embarrassed or think they are too young to know anything about it and ignore the questions the children will assume that is something "bad" or unimportant and it will be harder to talk with the kids when they are older. Besides, I believe most of the reason teenage pregnancy is so high is because parents are not having discussions with their children or they are having them too late...

Jodi - posted on 11/07/2009

Education is key to preventing promiscuity, disease and teenage pregnancy :) The more open and honest the communication with your children, the better. If they are properly educated and able to communicate they are actually more likely to delay having sex until they are older.



I'm with you on this one. Sex is a topic which has very few boundaries in this house - age appropriate of course. My son is 12, and is very comfortable asking us questions. If we make it a taboo topic, he wouldn't ask, he would find it too awkward. It shouldn't be a taboo topic for discussion.

Tania - posted on 11/07/2009

I am a childbirth educator, so sex is a big part of my life! I agree with you, age appropriate answers should be given. I think sex is so taboo in our community, and that is half the reason - it is made out to something bad. It isn't. Do what you think is right!