when to have baby number 2

Kathy - posted on 01/05/2010

My sons are 13, 12 and 10. I had no doubts about having multiple children. ( 3 is the limit though!) Although it was very tough in the beginning when all where still potty training and learning how to feed themselves, it's been great as they've gotten older. They are pretty much each others best friends, and they keep each other company while I have time to focus on chores. As many mothers have said, they are all different, and your love will grow, not be reduced. Personally, I've observed that siblings that are more than 5 or 6 years apart are not all that close, but that's my experience. Good luck.

Suzy - posted on 12/29/2009

i've 2 kids with 16 months difference between them. There's lots of noise in the house but i love it. I'm proud of them both and i love them so much. Patents love has no limit whether it's for one or thousands!

Nikki - posted on 12/27/2009

Thank you everybody for the wonderful responses! They are all comforting!

Maria - posted on 12/27/2009

I had a c-section with my first son and five years latter - I had my second son by c-section. Mom's multiply their love - not divide. So, you should be fine. Ask any question - if you feel sad ever. Good luck. My boys are now 19 years and 14 years.

Sam - posted on 12/26/2009

Hi hun my babies are 16 mts and 30 mths old when i got pregnant with my second (PLANNED) i was afraid i wouyldnt be able to love him as much i as loved my daughter and talked to several friends and family some said they felt the same way when haveing there second others said i was silly and that no mum should feel that way this made me feel bad so i carried on talking to people and it was only that one person who said it i believe she also felt this way but didnt want to admit it but some how you do love them the same slightly differently but still the same amount. Hope this helps

Katina - posted on 12/26/2009

I have 3.I had 3 csections and never had an issue.My first 2 children were 5 years and 1 month apart.My son went to preschool and my daughter was newborn.It was very good that way.But you might have doubts about loving another child it will come natural and if you feel the way you did with the first tell the hospital before you leave so you can the meds you need. Lots of new moms get post pardom depression (Baby Blues) ater birth. My third was born 2 years and 9 months later.It wasn't as hard as I thought.Also she has cystic Fibrosis and I still think it all comes natural.

Judith - posted on 12/26/2009

As a mother of 4 sons, I can state quite clearly that absolutely you can love them all. A mothers hearts have a huge capacity for Love. Yes you will have some days when you just want to crawl into a big hole but then one of your little angels will do something that makes it all okay. He will bring you a bunch of flowers that they have picked themselves, often weeds that then take pride of place on your dining table. Give yourself a chance and dont feel bad about needing a C section. The end result is still the same. It is kinder for your child to have a companion too. Good luck.

Cristina - posted on 12/24/2009

I myself want to wait until my boy turns 3 so that he will be potty trained and also so they won't be to far apart, if you have the means to have the next one go for it, little siblings are great.

Teela - posted on 12/24/2009

I say wait atleast another year or two..it will much better b/c then your oldest will be lil more independent and being to do things on his own..I have a 7 year old and 3 month old..and she pretty much entertains herself..with friends..and you will love both of them the same to death..and your kids will have a better bond..

Christina - posted on 12/24/2009

I did at first, my children are 17 months apart. I love them both but in different ways, it's kind of hard to explain. My little is my youngest and like your little boy I didn't bond to well with her when she was an infant. I did suffer from depression after her birth. She is not 2 and a half and we are bonding a lot better, she is still closer to her daddy though. My 4 year old son loves his sister to death, but he is more a mommy's boy than daddy's boy.

Aki - posted on 12/24/2009

I have always heard "when baby #1 is out of diapers"

Tabitha - posted on 12/24/2009

I thought that when I was pregnant that how on earth I could love someone else as much as my four year old. Once she was born there was no doubt anymore you love your children the same even if there are two of them.

Crystal - posted on 12/24/2009

I didn't think I could love two as much as I loved my first, but I really did. Both children are so different, but I truly do love them both completely!

Theresa - posted on 12/24/2009

As I saw someone else had written, love is not divided, it is multiplied. You do love each one differntly, not more or less though. I have 3 and a 4th on the way. My oldest are 3 years apart and that was great. #1 was old enough to understand that the baby needed time and he was somewhat independant. I made sure that when baby was napping I played with him so he didn't feel left out or replaced. I was also told to make sure he knew that the baby would not be fun to play with for awhile. If they expect an instant playmate they will be very disappointed. I told him all the baby would do for the first few months was eat, sleep and poop. He liked to tell everyone that. Once the baby got to be about 3 months old he LOVED his older brother. The oldest would just walk by and the baby would smile. #3 is a tag-along. Her brothers were 9 and 12 when she was born. It was great because they are great helps, but it is starting all over again. Not she will be 17 1/2 months old when #4 is due. Good thing the boys love their little sister, and visa-versa. They will be big helps to me after #4 comes. If you decide now is the time talk to your son about before you're even pregnant. It helps get them excited for it. See if you can get him around babies some, at church, or a friends, whereever. That way he can see what they'll be like. If he can play with one that is 6 months old or so he will see that it will be fun. Let him be apart of the pregnancy, touching your belly as it grows and feeling the baby move. My boys liked seeing the ultrasound too, though it did get a little long. My husband took them out while the tech did all their measuring and stuff, the boring part. I also bought my oldest a boy doll so he could feed his baby while I fed mine, etc. He wasn't too into it, but did use sometimes. Let him halp pick out names too. Give him some choices so he feels he's apart of it all. if you do decide to have another tell your doc about the bonding issues you had with the first and that you were wondering about post pardum depression. I had that after my first. There's a lot they can do to help with that. I had some issues with it after my second too, but I was able to deal with it better simply because I knew what to expect. Hope some of this helps. Soory it got to be so long.

Amy - posted on 12/24/2009

I have two boys right now they are 12 and 16. When the oldest was born I was excited but scared, but we bonded and I loved just being with him leaving him with someone was the hardest, but then we decided to have a second one (which by the way they are 4 yrs apart) we tried for two yrs apart but just didn't happen. While being pregnant my fear was would I love the oldest one as much as the baby, then when the baby came I was afraid I would not love the baby as much as I did the oldest. But it turns out I don't think a mother can truly not love any baby especially when you want one.

Ilanit - posted on 12/24/2009

Love is not divided... it's multiplied. That's what makes us mothers. Mine are 2 years 9 mths. apart. I love them both equally and differently. As mothers, we always question... we always doubt. Your children will need you differently at different times of their lives. When your #2 is a newborn, they will need you for the basics. Diapers, food, etc. But your older child will need your emotional focus more. As they grow, their needs will change. The first signs of issues will really be when the "baby" starts grabbing what belongs to the older child. Be prepared. You can never really think out all the what if's but you will know your children better than anyone else. If the baby takes the older child's toy, give the baby an acceptable toy and give the toy back to the older sibling. At another point, it may be wiser to let the baby hold on to it and give the older child something else. Keep your mind open. The fastest way to be disappointed is to expect too much from an experience or another person. Finally, everyone will give you their own opinion based on their own experience. The final decision is always up to you. Also, be ready that you may feel depression again for whatever reason. Talk to your doctor about it. They can help minimize your stress and frustration.

Bridgette - posted on 12/24/2009

i had my Son when my little Girl was almost 3 years and they have a good friend ship.. she was a ever good help as long as we leat her help..like make bottles and get dipers..if you dont let them help thats when we had some problems..

Carolee - posted on 12/24/2009

My mom always told me that, when she was pregnant with me, she didn't think she could love me because she loved my sister. Once I was born, though, she said she took one look at me, and loved me just as much as my sister. My mom says it's like magic. I'm currently pregnant with my second, so I'm hoping she's right!

Sharon - posted on 12/24/2009

I wondered a little if I could love another as much as the first, I also wondered if there was a danger of having a favorite.



In the end - I trusted myself to be a good enough person to not suffer through that crap. I was right. As usual.



I have three kids and all three are just so precious and wonderful. Its everyone elses' kids that suck. hahaha

Lisa - posted on 12/24/2009

I have four children. One Girl & 3 boys. You will love every one, they will all be different and very special.

Jessica - posted on 12/24/2009

I have two girls that are 18 months apart. I never had any doubts about having another one. The oldest was really excited when her sister arrived and we never had any problems with her. Our third is on the way, this one will be 6 and 4 years younger. I don't think that I will love this one any less than the first two!

Julia - posted on 12/24/2009

I never had doubts about having number 2 child. I have never had a problem loving 2 children. My two are 5 years apart, wanted them closer but Mother Nature did not want to work for me. So 5 years and 2 weeks later Number 2 came along. In fact, six weeks later my older son started kindgarten. Motherhood is wonderful, stressful, and rewarding.

Amy - posted on 12/23/2009

I felt the same way. When my son was born I fell in love. I had no intention of having another child, so when I got pregnant with my daughter I was having those same fears: am I going to feel the same way about her? I don't know how it happens, but it does. I had a c-section with both, so as soon as they brought her to me, I fell in love all over again. She was (of course) the most beautiful baby girl I'd ever seen! I was a little worried, then, if I was going to look at my son differently, but when he came to visit, all the love was still there...now there was just twice as much!

Nicole - posted on 12/23/2009

I had mine about 5 years apart, my almost six year old little girl loves her 1 year old brother, and is SO MUCH HELP! Having them to close in age, or to young at the same time can make it harder for you as a mother. You should give your self a break from "baby" before having another. Tin=me for you is so important, and if they are to close and so young it can be hard to get away!

Danielle - posted on 12/23/2009

I have a 2 and a half year old and a 2month old, and I personally wouldn't change it for the world. It is a lot harder then just having one child, but it is all worth it. I decided when my daughter was 17months old that I was ready for another baby, it took us 3months to get pregnant again. If you think you are truely ready then go for it.

Heather - posted on 12/23/2009

There is 3 years between my first two. I had doubts that my first would think that we didn't love her as much anymore but I made sure she was involved in every way I could. I took her to most of my dr appt and she went with me for the ultra sound so the day he brother came along she was so excited that it made it more worth having the second. There are alway fears when it comes to having another baby but in the end you will always have enough love for everyone.

Andrea - posted on 12/23/2009

I have a 4 year old daughter and a 6 month old daughter. Having 2 kids is so much harder than one. I think waiting maybe another year if you can will be helpful. Mine just turned 4 and had a hard time for the first 2 months. Its hard to stretch yourself if you work and you also have to figure out about daycare costs. Wait until you can put one in school and then you can bond with the other if you wind up having a 2nd c-section again. I did and it really hurt more than I remember the first one hurting.