When two kids parties clash on the same day ?

Corbey - posted on 05/05/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Last week I sent out 23 invites for my son's party at an indoor playplace. As we were handing them discretely out one of the Mums ( whose daughter we'd invited ) came up to say our party was her daughter's birthday, which I hadn't realised. I apologised, she said not to worry, they were thinking of holding her party the day before anyway and would let me know.
Then yesterday, two of my son's friends, who'd said Yes to our party, apologised and said they were no longer able to come. This was before my son went into school. When I came back in the afternoon to pick him up he came out very upset and said four more of his friends had told him they were no longer coming. A Mum nearby overheard and came over to say that her daughter was unable to come to our party and that as she understood it the other kids were probably declining because another party had been scheduled for the same time and same day as ours. As you can guess it's the party for the kid whose Mum approached me.
So now we're down from 13 kids to 5 with 2 unsures. It's impossible for me to re-schedule and I don't know who else has been invited to the other child's party. The strange thing is that the other Mum has chatted to me every day this week without once mentioning that they had to schedule their child's party for the same time as ours.
My dilemma is what to do in this situation: the other Mum has always been easy to talk to and I find it strange she hasn't told me her daughter won't be coming to our party, nor that she's invited almost our entire invitee list. The other is that I now don't know who else might change their mind. The kids are backing out because they're choosing between our indoor playplace party and the other kid's Build-a-Bear party, where they get a free bear. My son is really upset about this and now my husband and I have to pay for a minimum of 10 kids when only 5 are coming.
Any advice ? Is it unfair of me to feel angry in this situation ?

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Corbey - posted on 05/05/2010

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Thanks to you both for replying. I had to vent about this somewhere and thought doing it at the school would be inappropriate :-) It's reassurring to hear it's not just me being unfair by feeling annoyed about this. I'm sure my son will have a great party, he's a sweet kid. It means a lot you both took the time :-)

Kelly - posted on 05/05/2010

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The bad thing is is that the parents of these kids have no manners. You don't tell one kid yes and then turn around when the deal seems sweeter somewhere else and blow that kid off. The mom does have a right to host the party when she wants although I think she also displayed poor judgement going through with a date that she knew conflicted with yours. I would just be the better person through this and no response or anger from you will probably lay a bigger guilt trip on her. I would go ahead and reward those kids who are coming to your party and invite a few more kids maybe cousins or kids in the neighborhood to still get the best use of your money invested and have a good time. Kids tend to not be as effected by this as the parents and if kids cancel then say to your son well that just means we have room to invite ......! You have a right to be angry just know that giving it too much time will only make it hard on you. She won't be bothered by it. I am sorry this happened to your family.

JuLeah - posted on 05/05/2010

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I'd be angry. I'd not just be angry with the mother who said, "No problem we can change the day"
But with the other parents who allow their children to drop out of a promise to attend for a free bear. Who taught them manners?
I'd say get a new class of friends, but given that it his school class .... and he will be dealing with the kids for years to come ... I'll say use tact.

Of course your son is upset, but five are coming and a lot of fun can be had with five. Five kids with good manners are coming. Five kids who know what it means to be a friend are coming. Five kids that want to party with your son more then they want a free bear.

That's cool really. Maybe it's a chance for one of thoes life lessons we all hate to learn - glass half full, count your belssing and all that.

I am sorry it happened, but maybe it will be a better party then it would have been with too many kids.

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