When was the last time you heard the words "I love you"?

Rebecca - posted on 07/30/2010 ( 204 moms have responded )

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My 3yr old tells me at night after i say it but i haven't heard it from my husband in a long time. He never says it just because. IF he says it, it's because it's a special occasion and that was a few months ago.

Do your husband's tell you every day?

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Kathy - posted on 07/30/2010

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My husband tells, me all the time. Of course we are on the path to rebuilding our marriage after 3 yrs of hard times. After I stood up and left him, he got his head out of his a$$. He appreciates me and lets me know all the time now. I do the same for him. He knows that I NEED to hear him say that he loves me. We have a great counselor who has really helped up individually and as a couple. It is amazing to be able to tell y husband what I need and to see him actually respond and change his behavior for me. I do the same for him. Little things like three simple words have such an effect. Neither of us realized how much they did until we shared how much we needed to hear one another say it and mean it.

Tell you husband what you need and why. Don't accuse. Say, I would like you to tell me you love me more because when you do, it makes me feel secure and safe. He will hear love, secure, and safe. Nothing a man likes more than to protect his women. Play to it. His ego gets a boost and you get to hear more often how he loves you. It is wonderful. Good luck!

[deleted account]

Sometimes you have to tell him you need to hear it. Everyone has a love language and for everyone it's different. For me, I need words of affirmation (encouragement and compliments) and it's physical, so I need hugs and kisses. But for my husband, he needs my time, and how he shows me love is giving gifts. So we had to talk about what makes us feel love. Now instead of just buying me treats, he encourages me, and holds me more, when he feels love for me. And when he treats me, I know that's his way of telling me he loves me, in his most genuine language. For me, I give him a few extra minutes each day, and he knows that I love him.

Read "5 Love Languages" It's incredible, and helps you understand your children and spouse!

Erin - posted on 07/30/2010

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Ha! I literally think I've heard it once in last 3 years. He doesn't think it means anything to say it and that "anyone" can say it and that actions speak louder than words etc. I told him once that even if that's true its nice to hear from time to time. Didn't change a thing :(

Camilla - posted on 08/03/2010

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My husband and I say it all the time. Whenever one of us leaves the house, even if it is only going to be for ten minutes we say it and give each other a kiss. Life is too short, you never know what could happen.

Whitney - posted on 08/03/2010

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It took a few years of marriage before my DH was secure in the marriage itself. Now, My DH says it every day, but his love language is verbal affirmation, so he's diligent in giving it.... mine is gifting so I always spend alot of time and effort trying to secure the perfect gift whether it's a gifting holiday or just because. We have trouble working towards each other's love languages and perhaps that's what you're experiencing. Women trend towards quality time as their primary love language and men toward verbal affirmations - which is why work is typically very fulfilling for them. Perhaps if you read The Five Love Languages together, discover your primaries (tho everyone still needs a touch of the others), and have a very open conversation about your needs.... perhaps you can start feeling more loved in your marriage relationship, and he as well.

Good luck! I know it hurts.

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Mackenzie - posted on 08/04/2010

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I'm fortunate enough to say that, yes, I hear it everyday. Even from my 15-year-old boy!
And at the same time, I'm ashamed to say that I probably don't say it everyday myself...
Guess I have a thing or two to learn from my loved ones. :)

G - posted on 08/04/2010

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I can understand how the words can be missed but as long as he is showing that he loves you I think that is more important.

Kelly - posted on 08/04/2010

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My 5yr old tells me all of the time, but I never hear it from my fiance. I know he loves me and he has said that he wouldn't be with me if he didn't love me, but it would be nice to hear it every once in a while.

Simona - posted on 08/04/2010

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my exhusband used to tell me i love you almost every 5 minutes and it turns out it didn't mean a thing, my partner now doesn't say almost never, at least not without me saying it first, but even if he doens't i just know he does... sometimes love isn't about words but actions x ( but i know it's nice to hear it sometimes, stay strong mummys )

Theresa - posted on 08/04/2010

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I hear it several times a day, from my 2 year old, when she wants something... My husband and I say it instead of saying goodbye.

Carolyn - posted on 08/04/2010

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My girls tell me every day all day and at night before they go to bed. I hear it from my guy, at the beginning and end of every phone call or text, first thing said in the morning and the last thing said at night before sleep. It is important for me and mine to express our feelings to those we love. Because nothing in life is a guarentee and you never want to leave important words unsaid. If you want to hear it from your man more than you do, put yourself out there and say it first, and keep saying it. Not over and over again so that it is obvious what you are doing, but at the appropriate times...like when he comes home from work, when you wake in the morning, before you go to sleep, and give him a little squeeze to accompany the words. Show that you are not afraid to say the words and it is important for you to hear them too.

Jodi - posted on 08/04/2010

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When we were dating my (now) husband & I made a deal that we say "I love you!" whenever we leave. And we kiss good-bye and hello. I think I can count on 1 hand the times that we did not do this in the past 8 years...we've passed it along to our 2 young daughters, too!

[deleted account]

My man (we're not married) tells me several times a day, my eldest daughter (19) also tells me every day when we speak on the phone and my younger girls (9&11) tell me before they go to bed or with a random hug during the day. We're a soppy family if you had't noticed :)

Vanessa - posted on 08/04/2010

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My husband does say it everyday. I wouldn't feel right if we didn't tell each other that on a daily basis just because that is how we have always done it.

Patricia - posted on 08/04/2010

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Yes it is very nice to hear the words often; I mean we need that reaffirmation from time to time verbally. But it is also good that you show each other in other ways you love them as well. I beleive that each person has their own way doing and saying things to show they love and care for others in thier lives and you should learn to look beyond the surface for the truth of how they feel as well as taking the things said or done at face value.
I hop you can read the meaning behind my words I tend to over elaborate when trying to express myself.

Nicole - posted on 08/04/2010

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My husband usually just says it after I have said it to him. Every once in awhile he says it and that kind of makes it special to me because I know that he is really feeling it when he says it. He also does a lot of things to show me that he loves me like taking over with the kids at the end of the day or helping out around the house. Sometimes thinking of those things makes it easier for you when you are a person like me that really loves to hear that they are loved. Hope that helps.

Karen - posted on 08/04/2010

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well i amnot married to the guy yet but he tells me at least 4 times in the day , even writes me poems

Patricia - posted on 08/04/2010

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Yes I can honestly say my hubby and I never go a day without telling each other "I love you".

Marisa - posted on 08/04/2010

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I hear it all the time from both my husband and my kids. We're that sort of family. I didn't hear it from my parents growing up and I didn't hear my parents say it one another either. I want my kids to not only feel loved but to be able express it freely as well.

Janice - posted on 08/04/2010

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Honestly Heather we do love each other and we do show it in other ways. It's just a habit we got out of and we are very happy together. Don't want you worrying about us. XXX

Amanda - posted on 08/04/2010

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my husband has never said i love you.if we see a couple holding hands he sayes does he think shes going to run away.

Heather - posted on 08/04/2010

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do you tell him you love him? has he always been this way? I suggest you read The Five Love Languages. It's a great book that will provided understanding and insight to you and your spouse.

Angela - posted on 08/04/2010

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I hear, and say "I Love You" several times a day with DH and DS. I can't imagine not reminding each other daily.

Janice - posted on 08/04/2010

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No he doesn't but we just got out of the habit I suppose. Must give him a nudge tonight in bed and see what happens!!!!! Probably a snore. haha

Irene - posted on 08/04/2010

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Perhaps, when you awaken, before he leaves for the day, say, "I want you to know I love you" An hour from now is a hope, right now is reality. Vaya con Dios.

Sherrie - posted on 08/04/2010

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My husband says "I love you" every day...My kids (ages 26, 22, and 17) have grown up hearing it, as well as seeing the genuine affection between us, and say it to us regularly. They even thank us for dinner, school supplies, etc...Thankfully, they carry this with them and thank friends and their parents as well. I truly believe they picked up on the sincerity as small children, and appreciate it as adults...

Sonia - posted on 08/04/2010

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My husband and I say "I love you" a lot throughout the day. I love when he will just randomly tell me he loves me. We also tell our 3 daughters several times a day we love them and they tell us back.

Beth - posted on 08/04/2010

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My husband tells me he loves me multiple times a day- in the morning, before bed, when we are on the phone, when he comes home from work..... Even my 2 year old says it a a special way- I say I love you, and he'll say "Too!"

Mary - posted on 08/04/2010

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The last time i heard i love you was 3 minutes ago as my 22yr.old daughter left the house. My husband and i make sure we tell each other many times a day. We really stop and look into each others eyes when we say it so the other knows we are not saying it just because...I have lost a child and i have to tell you after suffereing that loss I make sure both of my daughters know I love them everyday. We all always tell each other when we part because who knows what the day may bring and you never know when it will be the last time you get to tell them. Maybe your hubby didnt grow up in a house where affection was so freely given, it may take time for him to come around, hang in there it will come. remember also you kind of have to model the behaviors you want your kids to have also. Keep on saying it they will catch on :)

Misty - posted on 08/04/2010

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Every day! He will text me just to say I love you. We always say it before we go to bed or before one of us leave! But I do not soley depend on him saying it either. He tells me it makes his day to look at his phone while at work and see a message from me that just says "luv u" It takes 2 to make a marriage work, so it's both of our responsibility to make the other feel loved and wanted!

Dorothy - posted on 08/04/2010

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My husband tells me I love you everyday at least ten times a day and we have been married 44 years now, My daughter tells me she loves me in word and in action everyday too. My son told me when we saw him 4 days ago. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband, daughter, and son. My two wonderful granddaughters just told me they love me right now.

Leslie - posted on 08/04/2010

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I don't remember. Even after my youngest daughter and I took a girls trip to Africa and London and were gone a little over 1 month, with little to NO communication with the US while we were gone because of the areas we were in had no internet or phone service, I still have not heard it.
My daughter only says it if I say it to her first.

Cathy - posted on 08/04/2010

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My husband tells me he loves me all the time, several times a day. It is a habit, but he means it when he says it, it's not like empty words. I bet your husband just isn't in the habit, just like men not thinking to buy flowers doesn't mean they don't think we deserve them, they just don't think of it. If you start saying it to him, he'll start saying it back and pretty soon L bombs will be flying everywhere.

Becky - posted on 08/04/2010

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I've always been very affectionate and have said it often to my husband and two and a half year old. I hear it several times a day from both of them. it's wonderful!

Merri - posted on 08/04/2010

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I hear it everyday more then once a day however he never shows it. I know its nice to hear once and a while but I would much rather him show it then say it. So maybe if he is not saying it he is showing it.

Dawn - posted on 08/04/2010

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Have you ever read The Five Languages of Love? Love and feeling loved means different things to different people. It's about helping you figure out what makes you feel loved, and what makes your partner feel loved. Maybe he is showing his love in other ways. Buying you stuff, or doing odd jobs for you, affection in other ways. Sometimes it helps to know WHAT to do to let someone know you love them. I think all of us have been told ILY from someone who probably didn't mean it very much. And I'm sure most of us have been on the flip sid eof that as well. My husband and I were given it as a wedding gift. Right after our wedding I read it. He doens't really like to read so, I read it and told him the parts I thought he would get something out of. =) I have reread it a few times since then and talked to him about it. I think it brings us closer each time we read it. And yes, we say it everyday, at the end of each phone call, when one of us leaves, or just because.

[deleted account]

Yes. Actually, my husband tells me every day and I tell him everyday. Just like one of the other posts, you never have a guarantee that tomorrow will come. I read a book called "Love and Respect" Its basic principal is that men desire respect and women desire love. It says if you tell your husband that you respect him, that he will start to show you love. Maybe get the book for you and your husband. I know it is only words, but it means a lot to us women.

Cheryl - posted on 08/04/2010

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My husband and I say it to each other mulitple times a day. Always have since we first said it.

Jessi - posted on 08/04/2010

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My husband tells me he loves me every day. I don't think I could tell you a day where he hasn't said it. I know there are some guys that just don't feel the need to say it everyday. Maybe that's how your husband feels. If it bothers you, talk to him about it. Communication is so very important. Don't bottle up your feelings, because in the long run it can make things way more intense :)

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My EX used to tell me, but then again he is an EX. LOL But my current husband of 23 yr, never says it, but I tell him all the time, hoping for the same reply but I never get it. LOL But it isn't the end of the world, I do know that my husband loves me. But I will continue to remind him of those THREE NICE WORDS!!! Likely till the day I die!! :)

Elizabeth - posted on 08/04/2010

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Several times a day, and we both say it to our son all the time too. If one of us forgets to say ILY at the end of a phone call or before he leaves for work, the other usually remembers. And always after an argument. I was married before and my ex never said it because he wanted to reserve it for when he "really felt it." My response is what? you only feel it once in a while and not all the time? That was one of the many things that broke us up.

If you say ILY more, your spouse will probably start saying it more too, unless he's as stubborn as my ex. Don't be shy. My dad didn't hug us as kids or say ILY, and it made me feel sad and unwanted, although he showed his love in other ways. When I became an adult, I thought, "Well, I'm going to hug him anyway whenever I see him" and it totally broke the ice. A lot of guys (especially from my dad's era) are not brought up to be open or emotional, and they need help to get comfortable with displays of affection.

Janet - posted on 08/04/2010

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We also tell each whenever we hang up the phone. I know that you want to hear the words but do you want to hear empty words or do you want to hear sincere and like the other posts say actions do speak louder than words. My husband was not raised to show emotion and I understand that and we have been married for almost 30 yrs. His father taught him that to show emotion showed that you were weak...

Amanda - posted on 08/04/2010

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My husband definitely tells me every day. He texts me "I love you my beautiful angel" he tells me how he is hoping my day is going wonderfully. Things along those lines. Most days he says it to me, to my face also. Most of the time he says it before I do. Every time we hang up the phone he says it and he calls me at least once a day while he is at work and I am home with our son.

Laura - posted on 08/04/2010

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Not every day lately....maybe once a week or so. He shows his love in lots of ways though, and we're working through a book to strengthen our marriage, so I'm sure it wont take long until I'm hearing it more often again! (The last time was the other morning when he was kissing me goodbye before he left for work.) I hear it every day, several times a day, from my 4 year old SD, and my 19 month old shows me she loves me, though she cant say it yet. It always warms my heart to hear SD say it to me. (We have her full time, as her BM passed when she was 13 months old.)

Janet - posted on 08/04/2010

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I hear on occasion from my husband with out me saying it first. I do hear it every night cuz when he goes to bed I tell him I love him and he says love ya too. But I do get notes on my dry erase board from him saying he loves me and there other ways to show it. :)

Shauna - posted on 08/04/2010

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I can't remember that last time my hubby said it 'just cuz'....I said to HIM and he will say it back, but he is never the one to say it first.

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it is the relationship between you and your husband, he you want to be told everyday talk to him. there is no use comparing yourself to other poeple

Laura - posted on 08/04/2010

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Yeah he says it every day... but he has been having a hard time adjusting to being a dad (2 month old). He just says he feels a lot of pressure to give her everything she will ever want. I keep telling him its fine but b/c we had so much infertility problems I think he knows how special she is and how much hard work she took. So he just might feel a lot of pressure too...

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