Who should get fixed? Mom or dad?

Carrie - posted on 07/20/2009 ( 25 moms have responded )

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My husband and have 3 and another on the way and I believe we are done having children. We 've discussed putting a stop to our baby making days but the question has been brought up which one of us should get fixed. So help me out and give some points of view to help us decide.

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Candice - posted on 07/20/2009

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whoever doesn't want more kids. i had my tubes tied. they can do it laproscopically now. took like 2 days to recover. nothing major as far as i was concerned.

[deleted account]

Wow! This issue is really one-sided in favor of the man getting snipped! I really am NOT trying to start a debate, honestly. I completely get it that a vasectomy is less invasive, easier to perform, quicker to heal, and less expensive. I don't think this is an issue of 'fairness' either. Like someone else pointed out, it should be a case by case basis. I just feel that it's a decision that each couple has to make together in an informed manner after learning more about each procedure instead of just pointing the finger at the man. Guess I'm standing up for all those guys out there crossing their legs tightly :-)

[deleted account]

While it is easy to just simply say "let the guy do it", it really boils down to a decision both of you make together. Make appointments with the doctors to discuss getting your tubes tied, well-I suppose they sever them with a laser-and them a separate appointment with your husband's doctor about a vasectomy. Discuss pros & cons with each doctor, recovery times, and chances of still getting pregnant. (Ya know those stories about getting pregnant even if tubes are tied/hubby got snipped) Also contact your insurance company to find out the coverage on each procedure. Then make an informed decision together. Best of luck to you!

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User - posted on 03/23/2012

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My hubby and I are going through the same thing. We are having baby number 3 and we don't want anymore after this. He thinks I should get my tubes tied and I think he should get fixed. Don't know what to do yet. I think the dad should do it cause we have to go through pregnancy and labor. It's the least they can do.

April - posted on 07/20/2009

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I think Dad ,I just had my 4th c-section,and was thinking about doing it,during the c-section,but I heard from some people that women have more side effects like hot flashes and menapose symptoms earlier,and my DR said that can happen, so I did not.

Krista - posted on 07/20/2009

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The procedure is MUCH easier on the man than the woman. A vasectomy is an in and out procedure and the man is up about the same day, whereas a woman loses muscle and has a very long recovery time. Take it from a woman who's had a c-section.....cutting open the stomach in order to shift things around is EXTREMELY painful and takes up to 6 weeks to heal. The only downfall to men is that they can't have sex for 6 weeks. Also, they won't tie your tubes while they're in there....that's a myth. It has to be a separate procedure.

Nicole - posted on 07/20/2009

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There's also another procedure called Essure I think, and they put something in your tubes to block them. There's no surgery, they go in through your vagina I think. I don't really know a whole lot about it. You might want to look that up. But like some of the other posters said, if you're having a C-section, may as well have it done while they're in there.

Ashley - posted on 07/20/2009

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i Agree with you Mandy. I think the man should get it done. It is alot less invasive! But if you are having a c-section, might as well do it while they are there. Men are only sore for a little. i have asked everyone!

Good Luck- i am trying to talk my husband into it!

[deleted account]

Well, my husband said he would because it is a much easier and low risk procedure for the father.........just make sure your husband goes back for the follow-up appointment to check and make sure there is no sperm count.....this is important!

Amanda - posted on 07/20/2009

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I really don't think that this is a decision that should be made on the basis of what is "fair." I also wouldn't make the decision based on which is more easily reversed. Vasectomies do fail more often than people think and I have known a few people to have them and have complications with them. Each case is different.
My husband and I have decided that I will be the one getting a procedure done because my husband has a HUGE phobia of needles and stuff and I really don't.
I would agree with Sharon's advice on going to see the doctors and everything before you make an informed decision together.

Cathleen - posted on 07/20/2009

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dad should, less healing time, less feeling uncomfortable, mom went through labour four times, common, it's only fair

[deleted account]

Dad should get fixed. Luckily, I have a hubby who understands that I had to go through pregnancy and childbirth, so he says he will be the one to get "fixed".

[deleted account]

I'm the one having babies by c-section so I think my husband should be the one to get fixed. I haven't convinced him yet, but it is the least he can do. I really don't want to go back on birth control pills and our next child I know will be our last.

Arwen - posted on 07/20/2009

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Dad because it's less invasive and less expensive. I know there is a small chance either procedure could fail, but I remember hearing that it's more dangerous for the mother if she's fixed and does happen to conceive. Something about the egg having a higher chance of implanting in the tube. Might not be the case, just repeating what I've heard. =)

Michelle - posted on 07/20/2009

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My husband is fixed and both by kids were by c- section, we agreed that he will get it done and if it ever back fires later in life we will deal with it. However is both you agree you can both get fixed that way no one is "left out' to speak of. They is also the risk of a tubeble pregancy for the women if she get her tubes tied. No matter what there is risks.

[deleted account]

i agree with all that said the dad should get "fixed." my husband and i are waiting a few years to make absolute certain we are done (we have 3 girls and are still debating the possiblity of trying for our boy one more time...). but when we have decided for certain he is getting the procedure done. it's for pretty much the same reason as everyone else, it's less invasive and it's also a lot easier to reverse if we do change our minds down the road.

Danielle - posted on 07/20/2009

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I think Dad should...it's only fair they help out in that way since we do the labor! It's also easier for them to heal.

Stina - posted on 07/20/2009

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Unless #4 is delivered by c-section, Dad should do it. Far less invasive and far safer for him than for you to have a major surgery just for a tubal ligation.

Ann - posted on 07/20/2009

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I had 3 children under three to contend with so my husband had it done and was on his moped the next day!

Emma - posted on 07/20/2009

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Hysterectomy's are less common nowadays and really are the last resort whereas vasectomy can be done easily without much discomfort.

Angela - posted on 07/20/2009

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Mom cause if something happens and the vacestomy back fires and she gets pregnant then you have the cheating factor thown in I've seen this first hand

Sherri - posted on 07/20/2009

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Well I think that the guys procedure is quicker. I personally think after a women should not have to worry about getting fixed because of all the pain you go through having the babies! Goodluck!!!

LaCi - posted on 07/20/2009

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I wish they would have tied my tubes when they were in there...

Whichever is comfortable with it. I plan on getting my tubes tied because my insurance will cover it. His would cost us out of pocket. So its just a matter of expense in my situation, but we were both more than willing to be sterilized.

Laura - posted on 07/20/2009

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Dad should get fixed. Moms already suffered 9 months of discomfort, pains and contractions. It's the least loving dads and husbands can do. Besides, it's easier than a whole tube tying surgery that would put a mom out for a few days. Dads can walk out of their fixing procedure and go about their day.

Mandy - posted on 07/20/2009

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Dad should get fixed since its a less invasive procedure. However, if you are having a c-section they could just tie your tubes while they're in there.

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