Whooping your children

Janelle - posted on 04/30/2013 ( 127 moms have responded )

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I whooped all of my 3 kids and they aren't bad. My friend doesn't whoop her kids she just does time out and her kid is BAD! So my question is do you think it's okay to whoop your kids?

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Sheryll - posted on 05/07/2013

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Discipline comes from the word disciple.
.The root word of discipline is ‘disciple’- a follower or believer of a teacher. The definition of discipline then, involves learning. Childhood discipline is about teaching and training, not about pain, blame, shame or humiliation.
I don't see how invoking fear and humiliation and pain teaches a child anything but fear of a parent. All I had to do was raise my eyes and my daughter stopped.
Very seldom did I have to truly discipline her, when I did it was taking something valuable away. Computer, TV, Car ect. I treated her with respect and earned her respect. I don't see hitting invokes anything but fear. And that includes whooping a as you call it which I think you meant it to be cute, but it sounds childish and immature. Learn a new way.

Angela - posted on 05/07/2013

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Brenna, it's unbelievably arrogant to suggest all kids in juvenile detention have been poorly parented and the spankings they all received do not correlate to why they're locked up!

Decent, law-abiding parents who discipline appropriately and caringly can still have kids who break the law. Children are individuals who will eventually make their own choices - and they won't always be the right choices!

Too many parents in this day and age are claiming credit for well-behaved, law-abiding kids as though those children didn't have any independent choice in growing to become those individuals.

I admit I made mistakes in raising my children, I'd like to go back & do it differently. Fortunately they're all gainfully employed, suitably educated, aware of their responsibilities and law-abiding. I don't feel I have the right to claim credit for this. They made their own choices at the end of the day - I couldn't live their lives for them.

A woman I know and deeply respect wasn't so lucky. She was a far better parent than me. One by one her 3 sons succumbed to the drug scene and the criminal activities that fund such a lifestyle. Several years later (they're now all in their 30's), the oldest boy is "clean" and living many miles away from any negative influences. The youngest boy is "clean" now too - but it was a hard struggle. The middle boy will always have problems. My heart goes out to her. She was a model parent, did her best to discipline them appropriately, give them praise and approval when they got things right and generally be a productive member of society and a good example to her children.

It's never worth leaving things to chance of course. Everyone who's commented on this thread, the pro-spankers and anti-spankers alike, have all affirmed that nurturing one's children and disciplining them appropriately is important. We're ALL agreed on that. But sometimes, life is a lottery and some people, despite their best efforts, have children who will make poor choices through no fault of their parents.

And Brenna - how old are YOUR children? Mine are adults. Until they're adults you can't know for certain how they're likely to turn out.

Carrie - posted on 05/07/2013

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I don't agree with spanking. I spanked my children several times when they were small, and I sincerely regret it because I know better now. Looking back it was ALL about my inability to manage the situation (and myself) in a more thoughtful, productive manner. I remember the last time I spanked my daughter. She was about 4 and acting like a real pistol...and I wasn't being some maniac, just a typical "teach them a lesson" parent. But I saw fear in her eyes. She was afraid of me because she didn't understand my behavior - even if she "understood" she had done wrong, she wasn't processing my big and scary reaction. It really broke my heart. And it occurred to me then that I really needed to get down to the root of what she was feeling in order to deal with her outbursts. Because I wasn't helping by spanking, it was actually making things worse. And when I stopped reacting and trying to make her "submit" by yelling and hitting, and started to treat her like a person with feelings - talking to her about her emotions and sharing mine, I learned a lot more about my child. I realized that she was using her outspokenness as a defense mechanism in situations where she didn't know how else to control the situation. No - she didn't "say" that, but when I gave her a safe place to try to figure out what she was feeling and why she was making bad choices, she talked to me and I started seeing a pattern. She'd act out when she was feeling something negative - anger, frustration, disappointment, shame, guilt. It took some time, but although she is still a tad feisty at 11, she is no longer a spitfire, in fact she is more of a leader and an incredible child who is well behaved and more importantly happy and secure. And, as a result of me learning to control myself and "dig deeper" into finding a better solution, I improved as a human being right along with my daughter. We have a great relationship and we talk about everything - including when things go wrong, when we make mistakes and treat ourselves or other people poorly. We work through stuff together, and she has no reason to buck my authority with a nasty attitude.

Fear doesn't help a child learn right from wrong. It may shut them up, or get them to stop doing something temporarily, but it certainly doesn't help their ability to work through their issues/feelings, and choose more constructive behavior the next time. It makes them afraid on some level of the person that should be their greatest advocate and protector. I think teaching MUTUAL respect between parent and a child is much more likely to grow a functioning adult than a spanking ever could.

Angela - posted on 05/07/2013

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Well, forgive me if I agree with the OP. As children, there was spanking and the cane in schools, if we came home and told mum, we'd get double for making the school have to punish us.

As a result, you had children who behaved well for the most part, very few moved outside of this. The only ones who did, were the abused or special needs children. We had strict boundaries but we were happy, free and joyful children.

Fast forward to today where some children NEED the extra pressure of a smack or indeed, will not behave the same as some other children when only time out/removal of privileges is levied and we have a society where children feel they can speak to adults as they please - they have to have "respect" where we knew that we hadn't earned it yet. We have childrens gangs, threatening, stealing and murdering. There is no respect for adults any more.

Parents of non smacked children will make excuses saying "grown ups have to earn respect" or "it's a two way street" and what they are doing is raising a brat. If my child spoke to a grown up like he was an equal, he'd be punished. I teach him that I love him dearly, but he must never be disrespectful.

BTW I don't smack my children willy nilly. That "honour" is reserved for dangerous or very bad behaviour and only issued if they ignore prior warnings. Warn, Warn again and stress what will happen next time, then the smack.

Result, children that know the true consequences for bad behaviour.

Leila - posted on 05/07/2013

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I think parents should raise their kids as they see fit. I personally do not use physical punishment, but I don't feel I have too. The problem is, there is a really fine line between a whooping as you put it, and abuse. Long as that line isn't crossed parents should do whatever they feel is appropriate. I'm not going to tell someone how to raise THEIR kids, but I do not feel that whooping is appropriate for MY child. To each their own, and with all the freedoms we enjoy, raising our kids as we see fit should always be one of them.

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Kim - posted on 05/07/2013

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Whooping I think is really the wrong word to use maybe spank would have been a better choice. I myself have not had the need to punish with spanking but my personnel rule on this is I only would spank if my child were to put themselves in danger, hurt another person or hurt an animal. Other than that a discussion usually works.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/07/2013

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~MoD Warning~

I am locking this thread due to personal attacks, and will be reading over entire threads and deleting inflammatory posts.

~WtCoM MoD LiTtLe MiSs~

Atasha - posted on 05/07/2013

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Your experiment is interesting and I never meant to upset anyone. I do not support any form of abuse and I care deeply for my children. I don't demand my children's respect, I earn it by doing my best to raise them. I really am sorry for my outbursts.

Julie - posted on 05/07/2013

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Atasha, I think you're the only one who compared you to a child abuser? Hmm...

I'm not a mean person, or a bully lol..
I just like pointing out the inconsistencies. It seems like the unspoken message here is that respect is reserved for adults so I was experimenting on that premise.

Honestly, this is the first time I've ever been angry or rude online....and it was purely experimental. The first to be pro-spanking 'if done right' are the first to demand respect. Strange to me, and glad my kids won't have to figure out that dilemma down the road. Good luck to you all.

Atasha - posted on 05/07/2013

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I agree with Angela. This thread is really getting out of hand. I appologise of any upset my posts may have caused. I am passionate about my beliefs and I stand my ground defending the rights of others as well. Sometimes I get carried away.

Steph - posted on 05/07/2013

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You can't teach kids right from wrong by hitting them. I am not for or against spanking, but I don't see how hitting someone acheives anything. It doesn't teach a child why what they did was wrong, it just teaches them that its ok to lash out when you are angry. I want to teach my children to behave well because it is the right thing to do and not just to avoid a beating. I am a mum of four, including one with severe behavioral difficulties, and I don't smack them. They know when they have pushed me too far by the tone of my voice not by my fists.

Angela - posted on 05/07/2013

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The debate on physical punishment of children will always be a hot topic and a controversial one. It’s a bit like discussing abortion, the benefits system or gay rights. No one will back down from whichever side of the debate they support.

It’s actually quite brave to come on here and start a thread stating your support OR abhorrence for such a contentious and provocative subject.

Moderators, I suggest you close the thread!

Atasha - posted on 05/07/2013

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Julie you really aren't understanding! Abuse is abuse. Discipine is discipline. It is a very fine line between the two. I would NEVER abuse my kids! And you are a twisted individual that thinks I would. I will stand up for my rights and my beliefs but WITHOUT crushing others rights and beliefs on my way. You are demeaning these women based on their beliefs. You are a bully. You are what we DON'T want our children to grow up like. Thanks for the example! :)

Angela - posted on 05/07/2013

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@ Angela Hunter, when you mention that some adults say that ‘respect is a two-way street’ and ‘grown ups have to earn respect’, yes – I agree. I’ve heard these statements expressed but not necessarily by the parents of kids who aren’t spanked – that’s erroneous. The fact is, respect IS a two-way street and anyone demanding respect must be worthy of it. Even pro-spankers (for the most part) say it’s disrespectful (and possibly bordering on perverted) to spank adolescents – yet many do this!

Too many spankers lash out first and listen afterwards. And it’s hardly disrespectful for a child or a teenager to form their own opinions on matters where they should have a free choice. But so many adults would deny them that choice. Admittedly it may not be a good choice, but as long as it’s not illegal, we do not have the “right” to subject a teenager to physical punishment because he/she decides not to (for example) attend Church or go into further education.

Nothing is more cutting than to be told either explicitly and verbally (or implicitly and silently) that your opinions and reasoning is of no consequence. Is this respect? NO!!

Julie - posted on 05/07/2013

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This page is for support? A support group of grown adults that spank? Sorry for the rudeness, I thought that's what would get through to a bunch of pro spankers ;) I've rocked shaken, confused, abused babies to sleep...I'm on their side.

Sarah - posted on 05/07/2013

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I was whooped as a child and I whoop my children. I have only used whooping in situations where bad behavior would not stop. After many chances, and warnings then came the whooping. I have great kids that respect others and myself.

Atasha - posted on 05/07/2013

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Wow... I have seen many children get bullied by other children, but dealing with an 'adult' bully... That is new. I stand by my choice to raise my children as I see fit. No one has to agree. They are my kids and I love them!

Kelly - posted on 05/07/2013

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I think it depends on the kid. I was spanked and I turned out great I've been spanking my son who jus turned 5 for hurting kids at school and it wasn't effective he jus kept hurting kids so I told him he would get kicked out if it happened again and hes been good since

Ginny - posted on 05/07/2013

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Psh, "bad" is such a subjective term, Janelle. Maybe other people think your kids are horrible little brats. Here's an idea. If you're so gosh-darned happy with the way you're raising your kids with their "whoopin's" and all, maybe don't worry so much about what your friend is doing.

Angela - posted on 05/07/2013

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THE ESSENTIALS OF CHILD DISCIPLINE ACCORDING TO BRENNA

Quote #1 (Brenna Gregory)

“Really I was spanked as a child and I'm probably the lease violent confrontational person I know. So your obviously wrong.”

OK, the “spanking” you received didn’t do you any harm eh?


Quote #2 (Brenna Gregory)

“Any child I see that received a spanking as a child is a much better behaved child than a child who was simply put in time outs or told to not do it again.”

So spanking works and produces better behaved children?


Quote #3 (Brenna Gregory)

“If you spank your child as a source of discipline when needed but you are a good parent your children will be fine.”

Implying that anything above and beyond isn’t right? Like abuse?


Quote #4 (Brenna Gregory)

“I've witnessed parents who say spanking is abusive and they use time outs or vocal teachings. Those children end up being bullys they end up spoiled and they don't respect or listen to any authority.”

So children who are disciplined in ways other than spanking end up as bullies? (please note spelling)


Quote #5 (Brenna Gregory)

“I just don't like violence. I don't abuse my child.”

That’s good! None of us wants to abuse our children.


Quote #6 (Brenna Gregory)

“If violence bred violence then I would definitely be violent because my step father physically abused me and my brothers.”

So …. you were actually physically abused? Yet in my first quote from you, you said “I was spanked as a child”. Every pro-spanker on here has stated that spanking is different from abuse.

Julie - posted on 05/07/2013

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Hahah like a violin Pamela. Just like a violin. Take care and have fun enforcing your god given right to spank. if I got a good spanking from you, I'm sure I'd feel more courteous. Want to meet?

Dana - posted on 05/07/2013

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Yes I think you should spank your children. All the children from our age and parents ages were whooped and those generations were not as BAD!!!!

Pamela - posted on 05/07/2013

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Julie - Really? I'd like to let you know I'm actually highly educated and hold a doctorate and work in human clinical research. Education is highly valued in our household. I read daily with my child and we do educational activities ALL the time. She's only 4 1/2 right now, but she has the potential to be whatever she wants in life and I will support her and encourage her every step of the way. And when she gets where she's going in life, she'll be respectful and she'll realize that she won't always get picked for the team and when she is, her team won't always win. She'll know that there is behavior that is appropriate and some that is inappropriate and that there are consequences that go along with everything we do in life. She'll have a healthy sense of responsibility, self-worth and love of God, family and friends. I'm proud to equip her with all of those things and exceedingly proud to be her mother.

Good grief, you're so full of yourself there's no room for common sense or decency.

Atasha - posted on 05/07/2013

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I am sorry if I offended anyone. Julie you are a rude and inconsiderate person. You bash me based on my beliefs and my choices. You are no better than a Christain telling a Buddist their religion is wrong, or a bully telling a gay they are sick. Tolerance, acceptance and support are the reasons for this site. Not to be deamed a bad parent based on our choices. Sorry but those are MY beliefs. You don't have to agree with them but you don't need to be mean either.

Eronda - posted on 05/07/2013

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Well Julie everyone parents different and if that's how you do its your right but you need to wake the hell up and stop telling people to get their tubes tied because they spank their Kidd cause I pass out ass whoopings in my house these are mine that I hurt for and you or anyone else will not tell me how to raise them!

Rachel - posted on 05/07/2013

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That's funny cuz we all know they are her kids up but thank u for the reminder. She's the one who chose to put the question on this website and ask for opinions. Are u sure spanking hasn't affected u? Lol

Pamela - posted on 05/07/2013

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Wow Julie.... you're SO right!! You are EXTREMELY judgmental!!!
Congratulations on being so much smarter than the rest of us. I'm going to go home and beg my child for forgiveness for being such a horrible Mommy and plead for her love and affection. How could I have ever been so blind?

Oh wait! I have an amazing relationship with my child already!!! She positively lights up when I come home from work. We couldn't be more proud of her and we do use positive reinforcement combined with consequences for inappropriate actions, which sometimes includes spanking. She is a generous, compassionate child who is very thoughtful and in tune to others as well as the world around her.

You're also right that we have a nation of idiots. You're one of them ma'am.

Krystal - posted on 05/07/2013

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Right on! I agree with whopping kids. Apparently time outs and all the other techniques do not work. Take a look at all kids these days from the last 10 years, they are horrible! And disrespectful, they have no fear of authority whatsoever. There is a huge difference between discipline and child abuse. I agree with proper discipline.

Brenna - posted on 05/07/2013

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Actually the sad part is these children aren't getting in trouble. Majority of them are rich and spoiled and when they get in trouble with the law they simply get out of it. I've seen videos of kids bullied by poorly disciplined children and the ones bullied are punished. You sound like you have a very closed mind to what really goes on in the world. Your research is one sided.

[deleted account]

Brenna, I did not say they became criminals because they were spanked. I said that children who are not being spanked are not becoming criminals. There is a distinct difference in those inferences.
If the fact that fewer people were hitting their kids today were actually the reason we have "such renegade children these days" don't you think that at least SOME of those non-spanked renegade kids would be in juvenile detention? Why are they not there? They are not there because a lack of hitting kids is not causing the renegade kid phenomenon. It is a lack of parenting in general.

Also, as I stated, the study encompassed juvenile delinquents who experienced all ranges of physical punishment--from mild to severe. They were not neglected or abused, nor were their parents addicts. Some were, and I won't deny that those conditions contributed to the behavior of those exposed to those conditions, but MOST of these children came from regular, loving homes, and experienced physical punishment that would not be considered abusive--i.e. the occasional spank when behavior warranted it.

Julie - posted on 05/07/2013

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Somona, I am judgmental. We have a nation of idiots I have to share the road with, who use my tax dollars. I'm sick of excuses. I'm sick of a generation of mothers who have online access to celebrities updates and friend pictures, but don't take time to find better alternatives in discipline. We have a nation that normalizes violence and its a self destructive mess out there. Everyone needs to put the Bible down and wake the hell up! Go with your gut. Be gentle, be nurturing. If that's not your character, have your tubes tied

Brenna - posted on 05/07/2013

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You sound ridiculous. Fine means I'm not a murderer, I'm not a criminal, I'm not abusive. What word is appropriate. I turned out Fabulous? Seriously. Turning out fine is perfectly acceptable. If I said I witness their discipline obviously they were using it, just wasn't effective. Pretty sure I said I reward good behavior obviously that means I know was positive discipline is. Positive discipline includes rewarding good behavior as much as curtailing negative behaviors. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_Di... Maybe you haven't heard of wikipedia but it's an amazing resource so are specialists in the area. I suggest you speak to one or a few to get a good idea.

Atasha - posted on 05/07/2013

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Please don't get my last post all twisted! I NEVER said it was okay to physically abuse your child! I simply put it (in many words) that different people use different methods, and yes spanking in one of them! It isn't fair to judge a person based on their rights as a parent to raise their child their way. I personally use a spanking only when it fits the crime. If my daugher (age 3) were to be jumping on my son's (age 18 months) head, then there is no warning. I do NOT beat my kids EVER! It is open plam slap on a clothed bum (and never very hard or in anger). It depends on the person, situation, and personal choices. I really don't like people that decide because one parent uses different techniques, they are automatically branded as a "bad parent". To me, a "bad parent" is one that does NOTHING in regards to discipline. The ones who look upon us telling our screaming child in the middle of the store that they are not getting that toy and think, wow she is a bad mom for not trying to make the child feel better and buy the toy. But I digress, I support all parents in their choices. After all it is their child.

Simona - posted on 05/07/2013

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Seriously Julie, get over yourself, who made you the expert of parenting? Are you the presidents mother? Stop judging everyone around and get a place in parliament, I've heard they're looking for people like you!

Brenna - posted on 05/07/2013

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No I just don't like violence. I don't abuse my child. If my son does something that threatens himself or others he will receive a spanking but I also reward good behavior. If violence bred violence then I would definitely be violent because my step father physically abused me and my brothers.

Brenna - posted on 05/07/2013

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Actually I've seen a behavioral specialist. I'm definitely not uninformed in this case. I am speaking of what I have witnessed. I've witnessed parents who say spanking is abusive and they use time outs or vocal teachings. Those children end up being bullys they end up spoiled and they don't respect or listen to any authority.

Simona - posted on 05/07/2013

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Janelle, they are your children. If you feel that form of discipline works on your children, then don't let any of the hypocritical, judgmental, know-it-all mothers on here make you feel bad about doing so. Every child is different, I smack my kids if I think it's necessary which is not very often and they remember not to behave that way again.

Julie - posted on 05/07/2013

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My five year old has a reward jar..for each 'good decision' he gets a ball added to jar..every two weeks, he cashes it in for a prize of his choice-movie/popcorn, ice cream..etc. When my two year old gets ornery, I remind him he gets big high fives fir complying in whatever task we're in. Babies just need love and baby proofing so my ten month old had safe places to play, adequate naps, etc. there is no need to use negative discipline. When my boys hurt one another, they have to hug and kiss boo boo's with I'm sorries before resuming play. Its hard work, but its worth every minute! Yes, they're kids..they are not perfect, but they're learning a gentle pattern.

Angela - posted on 05/07/2013

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QUOTE (from Brenna Gregory):

"Really I was spanked as a child and I'm probably the lease violent confrontational person I know. So your obviously wrong."

When I state that "violence breeds violence" I mean that abusive parents can turn out children who are abusive themselves. I was brutally treated as a child. I was very hard on my own children, hopefully not brutal but probably went too far with physical discipline. I regret this deeply.

At the same time I was non-confrontational with my peers and never violent in situations with other adults in my adult life and positively timid with other kids when a child. I was frequently bullied, both physically and psychologically. I believe the violence I lived with had me "cowed" and nervous around most people because I was always afraid of reprisals. I'm still not as assertive as I should be - and I put that down to my upbringing.

Perhaps your own non-violent, non-confrontational demeanour comes about through the spankings you were subjected to as a child?

Brenna - posted on 05/07/2013

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That is ridiculous you say that 100% of children in juvenile detention centers we're spanked. Sure that's probably something that happened but they were also beaten almost to death by their parents and neglected and way beyond spanked. They had parents who were drug abusers and alcohol abusers. Saying they were spanked so they became criminals is foolish because it's not the main source of the issue. If you spank your child as a source of discipline when needed but you are a good parent your children will be fine.

Julie - posted on 05/07/2013

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Brenna, you're still looking at it wrong!! Time outs and just saying no is the same as spanking in that its categorically negative discipline!! Ahhh!! People are so uniformed its truly maddening!

Brenna - posted on 05/07/2013

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Lol I can clearly see by the answers here why we have such renegade children now a days. It's getting a bit out of hand how poorly behaved kids are now a days. Any child I see that received a spanking as a child is a much better behaved child than a child who was simply put in time outs or told to not do it again. Just look around and see what kind of discipline you witness and how the child behaves. I wouldn't refer to it as whooping though that sounds a bit abusive.

Liesl - posted on 05/07/2013

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I have 7 kids,21,20,19,15,12,7 & 4. I have never spanked or whooped.
No child is "bad"
Some misbehave more than others,and it typically comes back to the parenting style.
My kids are the ones that I have always gotten feedback that they are well behaved ,polite and respectful. It's taken full time energy to get them there. Are they perfect, heck no.
They are normal,but,realize our expectations and rules and such and that there are consequences.
I have raised them that hitting is never ok,why would I then be the example of hitting them!
Some people do spank,and do it the right way? Which I understand is spanking not out of anger,but when the parent is calm and ready to teach. How freaking confusing is that fora little kid! I'm whacking you because I Love you Kiddo.
It's hitting,no matter how it's delivered, out of anger or out of love!
Spanking a child,in my opinion, uses intimidation as a punishment which overtime doesn't correct behavior,it just makes the child more careful about getting caught. No guarantee they will behave the way they are supposed to away from the parents.
I was spanked,I grew up terrified and intimidated.
There are other ways to discipline that I believe are more effective. I have 7 non perfect but we'll behaved and respectful,compassionate,responsible children to prove it. They have their flaws,but that's normal for everyone. They have all the universal traits that all kids have,but all in all they are great kids that people ask back to their houses to play!

Heather - posted on 05/07/2013

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You know the adage, "What you DO speaks louder than what you SAY?" Raising well behaved, moral children has very little to do with what you say and more to do with how you parent. Any good book on parenting teaches you this. I share custody of a boy with a man who is diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder (AKA SOCIOPATHY, for those of you who are not familiar). My son is an "at-risk" child- both because of genetics and environmental exposure. He is an extremely well behaved child, with a lot of compassion. But this didn't happen by accident. I work HARD to parent him without the use of violence (WHOOPING) to ensure he grows up to be a moral and ethical person. Spanking may be a faster way to ensure compliance, but hitting is always wrong unless it is to defend yourself. Yes, it takes a tremendous amount of effort, but our children ARE worth it!

Julie - posted on 05/07/2013

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It's not the 'words' or saying no...it's looking at everything through their eyes!! Knowing they aren't nonverbal mini adults!! They don't think like grown UPS! They need rewards for good behavior, positive motivation! To see how their sharing, gentle acts have an impact on those around them. It's taking the time to learn child psych and change the way you look at everything! We use zero time it's, zero punitive responses in this house and my kids are the sweetest, most well adjusted kids I have met. They care about others and are keyed in to facial expressions..wondering why done kids look sad when we're out..etc. People need to take the tine and do the work..or do society a favor and don't breed. I am losing all patience for ignorance. When my taxes pay for even the poor to have smart phones, no one has the excuse to not do their research.

Brenna - posted on 05/07/2013

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Really I was spanked as a child and I'm probably the lease violent confrontational person I know. So your obviously wrong.

Aleta - posted on 05/07/2013

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First, I think that people who are criticizing whooping/spanking etc. should provide solutions instead of criticism. Secondly, each child is different and requires different measures of discipline. I have one child that is frightened by the mere mention of a spanking, whereas my other child doesn't mind testing the waters. I am not a parent that jumps to spanking at the first offense. I explain to my kids what they have done wrong and why it matters. I give them two and three chances sometimes. Therefore, I believe that if you decide to do something that you have been instructed not to do then you are making a personal choice to deal with the consequences. Even though I may spank, I still tell and show my kids that I love them and that mommy wants them to make smart choices that start now . So you best to be assured that my kids know emphatically that I love them because nothing is done out of anger but discipline is through talks and reinforcement. If timeout works for your child then continue, but if spankings work for other parents and their kids then do not knock it. There is a difference between spankings and beatings. As the another person posted, I give licks on the bottom and a pop in the mouth if they are being sassy or disrespectful.

Angela - posted on 05/07/2013

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And remember, depending on where you live, physical punishment of your children may result in Child Protection taking action. There are no guarantees in this, Social Workers can be quite subjective in their judgements.

Currently, it's still OK to spank your kids in the UK, but not to administer physical punishment that could be classified as abuse. No physical punishment whatsoever is allowed in schools nowadays. That speaks volumes!

Don't take the risk! Find another way to discipline them. It might take more of your precious time than a slap or hitting them with a weapon like a wooden spoon. Are they not worth it?

Isn't your own freedom and good name worth it?

Deborah - posted on 05/07/2013

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It's a individual thing, I mean we all would like to find that the words we speak are enough, but sometimes, you have to get physical with those young people and then you see results.

Angela - posted on 05/07/2013

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I can personally testify that spanking does not "teach" a child anything beneficial. It breeds resentment, brings about a resolve not to get found out next time so actually YES, it probably DOES in this particular way teach a child "problem-solving skills"!!

A friend of mine addressed an issue with all 3 of her children by telling them off together (not shouting) and displaying her deep disappointment in them. They didn't need a smack!

Now tellings-off don't work with children who are regularly spanked. Spankers are often people who verbally castigate their children as part of "normal" life. Verbal criticism and disapproval comes so naturally, it has no effect in discipline. So telling-off or scolding as a punishment is meaningless for children who get spanked. And it is said that spankers rarely praise!

Mostly though, I would say that violence breeds violence.

Julie - posted on 05/07/2013

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Let's use the 'its ok' responses dictate cps followup and sterilization

Stephanie - posted on 05/07/2013

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Yes I think whooping your kids is fine. Unless it gets out of control and you best them, leave bruises. I also think time out don't do nothing.

Mrs. Landra - posted on 05/07/2013

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well it depends on weather you don't think it dose any good and its not harmful to the mind of a child and you don't have a heavy hand so my parents did it and i am just fine ... but this is the hardest one of the the parent and kids role .... is it so wrong to spank when your is a spec. needs kid and needs re reinforcements what to do so CPS dose not got in your family's life and tell you how to do the parenting or take your kids from ya. try the loophole ways and still have a chance of your kids landing in there care and we don't want that now do we?most kids that are in juvi. are not bad they are mentally ill or challenged ... so they be come prescribed junkies and still land in our jails an bad systems ok so we have to not do unto others and take the meds. or we go to jail for our kids.well i was born in the tail end of the 60's and was ok to spank only it if the child was to go an steel and kill something like human or animal just for the fun of reactions of the the parents or grown ups.now these times this unacceptable behaviors... well i still think that it puts fear and hurts but do we really want to let the destroy the way our fore fathers and have hoodlums run our country oh them there's those whom take this loophole buss. to a new route of being control freaks so you really have to be judge and jury and when it is life or death what is the right and wrong ways of getting a child to listen so it wont mess up his or her life forever. tough isn't it mom jobs are not finished even when they r all grown up so its wrong to help our kids to realize when its wrong to hit and a friend defend and run away ... wow some much to learn and relearn to keep us safe wow! respect and do unto other how you would you would like others do unto you gods golden rules were here to help the non believers and make a nicer world... do you like to be hit ? do you think its cool to beat up someone for the fun of it wow thump is in the hits category. wow you thump to get attention of your kids to tell this not the time or place your in gods house ....is this a bad behavior too...ok i think i have brought more questions than answers.... so my way is families first then buss. but this is hard to do when they mix sometimes how to raise a child no manual to fix the families or do it your self books wow we love you but we have to do this to make sure ya know this action was the wrong thing to do. we the people where did that go ? jails are cages to let you know ya did something wrong ? right leave them in until they learn a better way to handle there coping skills they need help we parents need ya to get them well. not on drugs that dont work for less then a month. get them the help they desperately need... we want our kids safe as we can make it.

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