Why I Hate Breastfeeding

[deleted account] ( 242 moms have responded )

I want to start by saying that I'm not trying to offend anyone with my opinions. This is truly how I feel about breastfeeding. I understand that many women find it to be a "unique bonding experience" and they love it. To them, I say I am envious.



I agree that breast milk is natural and has health benefits. But I'm tired of women making it seem like formula is "poison" and judging other women who can't or just won't breastfeed. I think this country is extremely hypocritical with breastfeeding expectations. We as moms are expected to exclusively breastfeed until our children are 6 months old or ELSE. Yet, the only two places who support us in our efforts are Nordstrom and Ikea to provide us with a place to nurse. God forbid you are at a restaurant or in your car or ANYWHERE else and you get looks like " ew I don't need to see you breastfeed HERE". What are we supposed to do? Our children are hungry and this is how they eat. Just the other day on a top NY radio station, the discussion was how people were offended and/or disgusted that a women was breastfeeding in a restaurant. seriously? And in the hospital after giving birth, I wasn't given the support I needed. As a nurse myself, I know that nurses are too overworked to sit down and teach women to breastfeed. But the lactation consultants had me sit in a room with 4 other women and learn how to do it. I'm sorry but I'm just not the type of person to whip my breast out. And the breastfeeding classes that I took pre-delivery were anything but helpful. I would have appreciated some warning about just how difficult it is and how much of a commitment it is and how a lot of women get mastitis and how it's okay to take antibiotics while breastfeeding for the mastitis, etc.



I suffered a ton of pain in the beginning of my journey and kept waiting for it to get better as they all say. I hated that no one else could feed him. It's hard to be recovering from the whole birth process and not get to have some relief. I never had a problem producing milk - which turned into my biggest problem. Despite my efforts of sticking to it, my son would either fall asleep at the breast or pull off crying every other second. Eventually, mastitis caught up to me. Antibiotics for 10 days. Then just as I was finishing the antibiotics, mastitis again! More medication. That was when he was 2 months old. Then a month after that, a breast lump appeared which turned out to be a cyst that I had drained. I spent a week worried sick that it was something worse. I've never been to the doctor more times in my life. 3 OB visits, one primary care visit and 3 breast surgeon visits all for my breasts!



I've been almost exclusively pumping for 7 weeks now, which I HATE. I nurse my son in the middle of the night which usually ends up in him getting so frustrated that he falls asleep again. I pump 5 times a day = 3 hours of time that I can't hold him. And it means that I can't be out and away from the pump for more than 4 hours. Why do I continue to torture myself? Because other moms make me feel so darn guilty. But why? I was formula fed and I never had allergies, never had eczema, was sick the same amount as any other kid. And I know plenty of breastfed babies with an array of issues.



I gave my son his first 2 oz of formula this past weekend and I feel GREAT. I take it day by day but plan on having him off breastmilk by 6 months. I need my sanity back. Call me selfish but I'd rather spend the time interacting with him and taking him to new places instead of being a slave to my pump. I just wish new moms were given more support and not made to feel so bad about giving formula.

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Denikka - posted on 11/07/2013

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I breastfed all of my kids. Am currently breastfeeding my youngest (4 months old). I made it to a year with my first, 14/15 months with my second, and we shall see what happens with my youngest. I stopped because it was almost exclusively a comfort thing at that point. They were eating normal food and only nursing to go to sleep. It was becoming a habit, so I stopped it (with minimal fussing from both)

I will admit that I do get a cringe when I see formula being fed. Not so much because it's formula though, but because of the women I have known who have chosen formula and THEIR reasons for doing so.
I will admit that I would prefer if all moms only fed their babies breastmilk. That all moms were able to, that it was as easy for all moms as it is for me. But I do understand that not everyone is able, for whatever reason.

I do think more support needs to be in place to help moms. I know there are many situations where a mother stops breastfeeding purely because she doesn't have the support in place for her to continue. Many issues can be addressed and fixed with the right help. Not all, but a fair portion. It would be nice to see those resources more available to new mothers.

I do respect a persons choice to feed their child in whatever way they deem is best.
BUT...as I said, I do cringe a little when I see formula. Not so much because of the breastmilk vs formula debate. As others have said, I cannot possibly know the circumstances behind the decision.
But because I have watched many of my friends and my hubby's friends get pregnant and have children over the last 4 years. I was the first to get pregnant, but lots of others seemed to follow in my footsteps. Most of those friends have chosen to formula feed. And of those who chose to formula feed (many of which I am/have been close to, so I believe they have been honest), not one of them had an actual *problem* with breastfeeding. Some tried and quickly decided not to anymore. Most decided during pregnancy to not even attempt, but to go straight to formula.
All of their reasons, to me, were childish and selfish.
They wanted to be able to leave the baby with someone so they could go out (not *once in a while*, multiple nights (3-4) a week)
They wanted someone else to get up in the night with the baby (all the girls I know were stay at homes for at least the first year while dad worked. Many had their mom or his mom come and stay with them the first while (first 2-6 weeks. One had her mom in the house for the first 6 months) The mom expected dad and grandma to get up and feed/change the baby 50-75% of the time)
They didn't want their body to change/boobs to sag (sorry ladies, you already did the pregnancy thing..little too late on that one)
Boobs are for sex/their boyfriends/pleasure. Breastfeeding is just *gross*

While I respect a woman's right to choose between formula and breastfeeding, for whatever their reasons happen to be, making such a monumental choice based on the reasons given above...concerns me about the OTHER decisions that they're making for their kids later on.
Kids are not convenient. They get sick at the worst possible time, they get cranky and hungry. They're messy and dirty and smelly. They will poop, pee and puke on you. Multiple times.
If you are choosing to make decisions that can affect your child's health and well-being based purely on the fact that it's mildly inconvenient or you think it might be *icky*. . .I'm not so sure you should have had kids in the first place, cause they are universally inconvenient and *icky*.

I will not negate those with actual problems. I will not negate the efforts of those who have tried and could not continue for whatever reason. And I do not judge those I merely see passing by. I don't know their reasons. But for those I DO know, for those who I have talked to, who have told me, I find it very difficult to be supportive of those who have only excuses.

Angela - posted on 11/08/2013

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Well said Shawnn!

If there are 2 types of "parent advisors" I personally despise they are:

1) the "breastfeeding bullies"
2) the formula "pushers"

No-one should bully a mother who is having a hard time breastfeeding or make her feel a failure because she reaches for a bottle to feed her child. No-one should criticize a mother who elects to bottlefeed from the outset either.

Likewise, a mother who breastfeeds (with or without problems) but does so nevertheless, does not need to hear from people who say "just get that child on a bottle". I witnessed my friend (who'd bottle-fed all 5 of her children and regarded breastfeeding as novel, unusual and something really only suitable for very young babies) give her daughter-in-law a hard time for breastfeeding – even though breastfeeding had not presented any problem for either mother or child.

I breastfed all of my children without any problems whatsoever - but I was lucky. I did get one or two "friends" rather shocked that I continued to breastfeed beyond the first month but it was my choice.

Let me tell you why I breastfed .....

Was it to protect my children with my antibodies? NO!
Was it because the World Health Organisation deem it the best way to nourish a baby? NO!
Was it to nurture bonding between me & my child? NO!
Was it to protect my child from possible allergies etc ... that are often linked to formula feeding? NO!
Was it to get approval from health professionals, breastfeeding “experts” or other breastfeeding mothers? NO!
Was it for ANY altruistic reason? NO!

Was it for my own convenience? YES!
Was it because it was a whole lot more desirable than paying good money for formula (since mother’s milk is free)? YES!!
Was it because I didn’t want to spend time fussing with bottles, sterilizers etc? YES!!
Was it because (for me & my own children at least) I found it to be a guaranteed way of silencing a wailing, screeching baby? YES!!

And most of all – it was because it gave me one hand free to read a good book whilst I was doing it!

Would I have made a martyr of myself to continue breastfeeding? NO!

This post is NOT being made to make either breastfeeding mothers or formula-feeding mothers bad, inadequate or anything negative. Please feed your child in a way that nourishes him or her and that you feel comfortable with.

Good luck with your adventures in parenting and child nutrition, whatever form it may take.

Carina - posted on 11/18/2013

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I can really appreciate where Donna is coming from. I think the pro breastfeeding camp has become so dogmatic that there has become a disconnect between highlighting the benefits of breastfeeding and actually preparing women for all that it entails. I agree that perhaps more woman could feel better about their breastfeeding experience (whether that means four years or not at all) if there was more honesty about the entirety of the experience. It isn't fair to mothers who want to breastfeed, but can't, to mothers who choose not to breastfeed or to mothers who want to breastfeed to pretend that breastfeeding is all cuddles and sunshine. It isn't.
While pregnant, my midwife told me that I didn't need a lactation consultant, because breast feeding is the most natural thing in the world. It may be the most natural thing in the world, but many of us these days don't have experience with it until we are trying to do it ourselves. Uh yeah...just delivered, tired, elated, scared, overjoyed, wanting to do the right thing, strangers watching, strange surroundings, MY hungry baby, all at the same time. The pre delivery breast feeding classes are akin to learning to drive a vehicle by reading a book.
I read numerous books about breastfeeding while pregnant and still did not feel prepared when the time came.
Things I didn't know before deciding to breastfeed:
-That there would be formula literally forced on me in the hospital after my unplanned cesarean
- How much my body would ache from spending hours in contorted feeding positions
-That I would spend at least 12 hours a day for the first 3 months with my son on my breast
- That I would look on so enviously as my friend pulled out a bottle and handed it to her husband to feed their child
- That it would take 3 months before my son and I really got the hang of it
-That pumping, often touted as a convenience, s..cks!
-That I would love it so much at times
-That I would hate it so much at times
- That I would nurse for 15 months
-How important it was that my spouse was on board with the idea and process
- That it made my husband insecure about his role for many months
-That I would go from being pretty shy to unabashedly nursing in public
- That breastfeeding can be SO lonely
-That I would actually be happy to do it at 3 am
and on and on...

I fought really hard to be able to breastfeed and feel very fortunate that it worked out for my son and I. I say that with great pride, because it was something very difficult to do and was very important to me. I say that with absolutely no judgement of anyone unable or unwilling to do so. Our choices and circumstances are as unique as our babies.

On nursing in public.. i don't eat on the toilet, so I refused to be relegated to a bathroom to feed my son. I exposed less of my breasts than what could easily be seen on the cover of the magazines at the checkout line of the supermarket.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/08/2013

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For ladies who don't understand this, I'd like to point out that:

JUST BECAUSE A BABY IS NOT BREASTFED DOES NOT MEAN HE'S NEGLECTED.

Quote: "It is my special time with my baby, and it forces me to slow down and pay attention JUST to him. I can't prop him up with a bottle and go do the dishes, I actually get to sit down and snuggle with him while he nurses" Do mothers who bottle feed NOT snuggle baby while they're feeding? Seriously. Way to make a person who's struggling with the whole mess feel a lot worse about themselves.

LADIES THAT BREASTFEED, PLEASE NOTE THIS: You are able to BF. You are fortunate to be able to do so. NOT ALL ARE AS FORTUNATE AS YOU ARE. Please do not escalate our existing feelings that we may not be a perfect parent by speaking condescendingly to us with phrases like "Your article makes me sad - sad that you had such a difficult time and that you have such negative feelings toward breastfeeding" In essence, that statement is geared towards making a mother who is already struggling feel worse.

Sarah - posted on 11/06/2013

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Hey Donna,

I know exactly how you feel.
I too was so miserable when I breastfed.

OMW...was in pain ALL the time!!
Whenver she was nursed.....I cried.
Everyone said..."you not doing it right"!! And that made me mad.
When I said Im gona put my daughter on formula...everyone also said "DON'T"!! You're right,they really make it seems like formula is "..poison".
I was also told that it will get better, the pain will go away..IT DIDN'T!!

And when my daughter was a 2-4weeks old, she kept on crying when I took her off the boobies..that's after being on them for 30min if not longer..And do you know what it was...
Why I was in pain all the time...Simply because I never had enough supply, so she wasn't getting enough...So she used to suckle as hard as she could to be fulfilled... But I found that odd because my breasts were always full & I too used a breast pump..That's just strange!..According to my doctor & midwife, my breast milk supply was over enough...But I didn't believe that...

When she was almost a month, I decided to give her formula...
That was the best decision I ever made :-)
She was happy...didn't cry so much.
I was happy...no more pain & don't need to be around her all time. YOU ARE NOT SELFISH. Do whatever makes the both f you happy.

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Rebecca - posted on 04/14/2014

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No moms should feel guilty about the choices they make for their children with the best intentions. I put my daughter up for adoption through an agency and she is currently with her awesome adoptive family while they wait for the paperwork to go through so I haven't breast fed and let me tell you, she is sucking down bottle after bottle of the formula so I don't think she minds haha.

New moms have so many societal stresses on them to be perfect and do everything 100% NATURAL and its just nuts. Take care of your kids and love them, everyone else (SOs excluded) can suck it ;)

Arielle - posted on 04/14/2014

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Sorry that you had a hard time with breastfeeding ad quite frankly i can relate. My first 6 months of breastfeeding felt like hell on earth, my son breastfed constantly and he absolutely refused to take pumped milk in a bottle i lost a ton of weight and i was almost turning into a zombie plus i was overtired and sleep deprived, i felt like i was about to explode. Thankfully i went on vacation for couple of months with my family and i got a ton of help and rest and it kind of gave me a break i didn't breastfeed as much plus he started eating. I can honestly say that i started to fall in love with breastfeeding when he was like 9-10 months old, he didn't need me as much anymore i only breastfed in the morning and at night, it turned it more of a moment we share together and less of a need. And right now i love it he is 15 month old and i don't even want to stop, every night before he goes to sleep he breastfeeds then he sleeps and it feels really good because now that he is more independent and running around it is the only quite and calm moment we get to share together. Good luck to you and don't feel guilty, you already did 3 months and that is a big accomplishment if you hang in there until he is 6 months it's even better but first do what is best for you because in order to be a good mom you need to take care of yourself first! :)

Melanie - posted on 04/10/2014

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I am a mother of 3 & I have always felt breast feeding was out dated & gross. I was weirded out big time by ALL mothers that would put there baby on there breast 2 feed them, it seamed wrong 2 me it seemed dated I no its natural and that's what breasts r 4 . But 2 me it seemed sooo wrong. I think I felt this way because, ( I believe ) breasts 2 b a sexual object. & that they have become more so of a sexual object threw out the last, will say 50 years. Due 2 media and the world having less and less couth. Basically 4 whatever reason I had a hard time feeling comfortable about any and all breastfeeding. I would b super grossed out when mothers would just wip out the big boob and feed in front of me & or my young children who wouldn't stop starring at them while stammering w there words 2 ask me what they were doing 2 that baby and as quickly as I could explain 2 them that this is how some baby's get there milk. Wouldn't u no it' Immediately my son asked if he could do that 2 lol :l ummm no u cant ... but its milk he said I want 2 try it 2. Lolol nononono ur 2 big ur 2 now its just 4 little babies as I nicely pushed him off 2 play in another direction. Lol Long of the short I wasn't a fan ....... UNTIL. .. my 3 child was born. She had a dysphagia disorder which meant she would aspirate when she would swallow. It was the scariest thing in the world to feed her from the bottle any kind of bottle she would literally gasp 4 air while drinking turn purple from choking& vomit like a baby exorcist she was unable 2 catch her breath after the violent projectile vomiting that would comw from her aspirating. I had no choice but 2 try breastfeeding. Here I was home on day 3 w my new baby who needed 2 eat and i couldnt feed her w all her choking from bottles. So I called my bff who came over and helped me some what latch her on 2 try 2 eat as I cried and cried cause I felt weird I didn't have a clue what I was doing it was hurting me so bad cause I her just on the actual nipple not the areola at all &she would only eat for about 2 3 min. So i dont now if im even feeding her cause i cant see any milk oz going down.So after about 2 weeks of tourcher I finally got help from the breastfeeding specialist not cause I needed help but because everyone was worried that my daughter wasn't getting enough milk since she would only feed for about 5 minutes at a time now & would go about 6 hours in between feedings. So the nurse and I went through the whole rigmarole how to latch her on how 2 hold her it was very helpful &very thankful 4 this wonderful woman.. the nurse also told me very interesting things about breastfeeding and all its benefits that I was unaware of and that your breast milk is made differently for every child. So became more comfortable with the whole ideal off breastfeeding I had more knowledge and now felt comfortable but the real enlightenment came when the nurse had me feed My daughter 1st she weigh the baby then she watched me feed my daughter then weigh the baby again when I was done so she could tell me how much she was eating.Well 2 my surprise my daughter got over 5 oz of milk in just under 5 min omg!!!! Insane!! Right??!!!??? So she got alot of milk super fast, she was just under about a month old at this time. The nurse told me she been doing this for just over 40 years & she had 2 put me in her mothers milk of fame. Lol I was like a fire hose it was incredible, it was amazing!! Think about it my body not only made my milk high in GOOD fat so that shed stay full longer and have 2 feed less times a day but then my boob juice came out so much so fast that my milk forcefully pushed its way down in 2 my daughter stomach so she didn't have 2.. Breastfeeding avoided her tiny little lungs from filling w fluid cause she didnt no how 2 suck swallow and breath at the same time when she would eat. With a bottle she would do the work and basically drowned herself w breastfeeding my body was designed 4 her needs and I ... well my breasts would unknowingly do all the work 4 her tell she adevetualy learned how 2 eat w out aspirating on her own. I was and still am amazed by this. I truly believe breastfeeding may have saved my daughter's life or at the very least saved her from getting pneumonia a few times. So now im a big believer / supporter in breast is best ! Im glad I got 2 experience its true miraculous Ness! !! Gooooo boob juice!! Ohh yah and 1 more thing Just make sure ur carefully wiping the boobs out at meal times ladies lol

Jami - posted on 01/14/2014

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I am not a breast feeding mom and yes I have gotten crap in the past for it but my daughter who is 9 is healthy as an ox and always has been with just the bottle. And I will not be breast feeding my son who will be here next month. I think like the moms are saying below each situation is different so do what you need to make life peaceful for you and your little one because in the end that is what matters. Good luck and I am glad you stated something about the hype about what the opinions are out there. To each it's own is what I say.

Kathryn - posted on 01/14/2014

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I am ever so sorry you have had a hard time with nursing. I have two children. My first was an instant nurser right from delivery, but I got very sick and had to be hospitalized for 2 gallstones getting stuck in my bile duct and then getting my gallbladder removed. So then we were suplementing with formula. After I came home I did not produce much, so the formula was getting more and my nursing less. My son got 4 months of nursing before I completely stopped and he was formula fed. For the longest time I felt sooo guilty about that. But he grew well and was never sick. When I had my second, my daughter, she nursed for just over 2 years.I feel blessed that I had no issues with nursing her, none. But I know I am one of those lucky few. My point here is you are a GREAT mom. Whether you nurse or not. You care for your son, love him, give him plenty of everything he needs. You do not have to force yourself to nurse until he is 6 mo. old. Stop now if it is right for you and him. Each situation is different. I feel that we need more moms to be supportive of however mothers choose to feed thier children. More power to you sweetie. You should never feel bad about how you feed your son. As long as you are feeding him, it does not matter the method. I completely support you on quitting now. No sense in being a slave to your pump. You naturally will not get as much out by pumping as your son would get naturally from the act of nursing. May you have much luck and support from others in the future. I stand behind you!!!

Allison - posted on 01/12/2014

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I couldn't agree with you more! Thanks for being brave enough to voice your opinion. I hadn't really planned on breast feeding my daughter even before she was born & she had to be born at 27 weeks and was in the NICU for the first 5 months & on a ventilator for a very long time... So even if I wanted to I couldn't & I had the lactation "nazis" on me all the time about how important it is and so I tried pumping.. Which was extremely difficult.. Barely got anything & not only that I was very sick for a while after she was born due to preeclampsia and hellp syndrome. I cannot stand it to hear women preaching how wonderful it is and that everyone should do it or else your child is not going to be healthy... I know kids who were breasted & have the most problems with allergies & sick all the time & those that were not breasted (myself included) and have zero issues. It drives me crazy and I try to ignore it but it's very hard not to. To each it's own & whatever works or is preferred is great.. People really need to leave their preaching & comments to themselves.

Danielle - posted on 01/12/2014

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Thank you for your response Diane. Very kind words! I am very happy that you were able to try and succeed with your second. When I had my daughter I would get so upset at the hospital because the nurses were pushing me to do it when they knew how much anxiety it caused. I finally got angry with one of them that they never asked again. My fiance wants me to try it again, and I most likely will give it a shot. What I find a little funny is my daughter, now almost 5, was not breastfed and is never ever sick. So when people say formula is not helping their immune system like breast milk does, I don't disagree at all but I don't think it does too much more.
I think learning each other's experiences is a good thing. Not everyone has the same thoughts and feelings but we can definitely figure out more from talking about it.

Diane - posted on 01/12/2014

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I'm sorry that you're having such a struggle with breastfeeding, and the expectations of others. I think you should do what's best for YOUR situation, and if that's tapering off breastfeeding, then that's okay. Your son will be fine if you feed him formula, and if you're happier that will be better for him.

I have 2 sons, 1 breastfed and 1 not. I wanted to breastfeed the first, but I was discouraged by the nurses in prenatal classes, as they insisted you must be totally calm and relaxed in order to breastfeed or your milk wouldn't come down. At the time we were running a business out of our house and it was sometimes hectic, so I panicked and didn't try.

With my second son, the situation had changed and I decided to try it. The first couple of weeks were rough, and I thought I'd made a terrible mistake. After that it got easier, and I breastfed until he weaned himself at a year of age. It was a wonderful experience and I was so glad it did it. It saved money and lots of time mixing formula and sterilizing bottles & nipples. As it turned out, my milk came down just fine, no matter where I was!

My husband (now ex) didn't like it much. He especially didn't like me breastfeeding away from home, and said some really ugly things. His mom didn't like it either, but oh well! So we've all had our trials, either way.

I would encourage everyone to try breastfeeding for at least a month to give it a chance. It can take time to get the hang of it. After that, if you're not happy, you should make your own decision. Both of my sons were equally healthy and happy, so I don't think it made a huge difference to them. As it turned out, breastfeeding was much easier for me. Remember that each child & experience can be different, and if you have another breastfeeding might just work fine for you.

Take a few deep breaths and relax. Then do what you think is best for your family and don't feel guilty about it! Sending you hugs & positive thoughts~

Danielle - posted on 01/10/2014

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I have to say thank you to the moms who are not criticizing the other moms for their choices. I will get a little personal here with my reasoning for emotionally not being able to breastfeed; I was a child of molestation and I hate that I just don't feel comfortable with breastfeeding. I have a daughter and son on the way. I tried so hard to breastfeed my daughter but was so incredibly uncomfortable I could not handle it. I am also prescribed anxiety/depression/PTSD medications which I get off of during pregnancy but take again afterwards, so I have know what I take while breastfeeding is like taking it while pregnant which is another reason I do not feed or pump. But to be blunt, it absolutely sucks when people talk about every mother should breastfeed. I hate that I feel the way I do about it however I can't get around it. I am going to give it another shot after I have my baby in May and even try to stay off meds long enough to pump. I also have chronic pain and have been off pain meds to make sure my baby doesn't get any effects from my intake. Even though my OB said it was okay for me to get back on my meds now, I do not want to put my baby through withdrawal!
Every mother has their own reasons for breastfeeding or not breastfeeding, and I hope someday others can begin to understand and respect that.

Kelli - posted on 01/10/2014

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Aww! What a trying time you have had! Unfortunately its so sad how right u r about society and the pressures of being a "good" mom. The fact that u have made yourself miserable for your childs well being already shows how wonderful of a mother u r going to b. But u dont have to do that. Formula fed babies grow up to b normal productive citizens just like breast fed babies! This is suppose to b an enjoyable experience in your life. Not a terrible one. I say do what your heart tells u not what society tells u. God never intended for this miracle in your life to b hard. Enjoy your baby and your sanity! Give him a bottle! Hang in there momma! Prayers and blessings!

Dodi - posted on 01/10/2014

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I totally agree with you ! Breast feeding should be optional and no one has the right to force mothers to do it against their well !

Shayna - posted on 01/09/2014

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I breastfed both of my kids.....because I WANTED TO! My mother and alot of my family had never done it, most thought it was gross (generational I think). I did have one family member who did it because her husband wanted her too and basically told her she had to. She had two horrible experiences and was vehemently giving me her opinions on it....once I told her I wanted to do it and it was something I felt strongly about for myself and baby....she was fine and actually quite helpful lol! But neither my husband or my family was used to breastfeeding. That being said it was what I desperately wanted to be able to do. My sons delivery was long and traumatic, High Blood pressure, induction, leading to the both of us clinging for our lives barely. I didn't even see him for 7 hours and when I did he was hooked up to multiple things. When I finally had him in my room a day later I was determined that he was going to nurse. And it took a TON of patience, tears and more tears to get there but we did it. I was lucky to have a fantastic nursing staff and lactation consultant around, and since he was a cesarean we were in the hospital longer than most births. It was hard, it was painful but because I wanted it so bad I did it. Had i been on the fence about it or had no support I may not have been able to do it. It was absolutely a fantastic experience once we got our rhythm down.

fast forward 21 months to my daughter.....less stressful delivery although the last month and a half was spent on bed rest because of blood pressure issues. But I was able to see her right away and we were able to start the nursing process immediately.......she was a very ;lazy eater. Very very lazy, never really latched exactly right and it was a struggle for a while. Eventually we hit a rhythm and again i loved it and continued until I had to change meds and stop. My supply was never like it was with my son, I could come home from work with 16 oz of milk with him and I was lucky to get 4-8 with her.

Every time is different, Every mother is different and every baby is different. We as mothers should help the best we can give the positives and the negatives but help mothers see that yes it is hard and sometimes you do want to quit....but if it is something you want as a mother then you will do whatever you can and if it still fails then so be it. you did your best and that is what is important. If you don't want to nurse then don't! if it means you are able to keep your sanity and make it through those long early days then so be it and I will certainly not be judging anyone. and if they judge oh well their problem not yours. I couldn't care less what others think about my choices and I heard plenty along the way. that is their issue and honestly why are people asking if we nurse anyway? whose business is that? I never ask a new mother what they are feeding their baby, its their own choice and unless they ask me for advice I keep my mouth closed! If I am asked I flat out give my experience and keep my opinions to myself lol!

and both kids being nursed until around 8-9 months, were sick ALOT! Ear infections like crazy, both needing tubes, and catching everything from everywhere!!!! But its possible they could have done that on formula too, who knows! What I know is what worked for us and that's that.

Suzanne - posted on 01/06/2014

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I think the positive benefits of breastfeeding are pointless if the mother is not happy. Having a baby is a wonderful time,and you should enjoy it. I breaded all 4 of my children for 2 years,but I don't have a problem with formula either. I never had a problem,but if I was not happy nursing,I would have switched. Your baby needs you to be happy more then anything.

Janet - posted on 01/03/2014

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I hate breastfeeding too, so I can totally relate. My baby is only 2 1/2 weeks old, and she is very fussy and gassy. She will stay up for hours fussing, and refuses to go to sleep. The problem is I'm breastfeeding, so no one can really help me. The sleep deprivation is really getting to me. All the days and nights blend into one long endless day. I've tried everything I can think of to console her, and continue to try new things. I'm a first time mom, and I feel like I have no clue what to do....so this doesn't help. I took her to the Dr, and the Doc says that it's just her personality...that she's high maintenance. Well, my husband is high maintenance, so I think she's taking after him. Lol
I just try to enjoy my time with her, and stay positive...even though it's hard to do that sometimes. And if I feel like I'm losing my mind, and just can't take it anymore I will wske up my husband to take over, and he will give her formula. Luckily she likes formula, and it hasn't affected my breastfeeding.....because she LOVES breastfeeding. :)

Karen - posted on 01/01/2014

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The only thing that you "must" do is feed your child. How you choose to do it is your choice. Yes, in the ideal world, "breast is best". However, last I checked that world is an ideal, not the real world. You have done the best you could and that's all that should be expected. I tried, too, but my child was born with no patience (decided to come early and has been early ever since!) The kindest thing my husband did for me was talk me into quitting breastfeeding. I did pump for almost 9 months - in my case it was ideal because it forced me to sit down and take a break periodically. Hubby loved it because he (and others) were able to feed our daughter, too. You have absolutely no need to apologize for anything and I'm sorry that anyone made you feel like you had to do so. That's the problem with many people who are passionate about things...many times they fail to see that there is a middle ground and there way is not always the right or only way.

About the only advice I give to pregnant women and new mothers is - if it doesn't work for you, that's OK. Do what's best for your family, exclusively one way or the other or a combination of both. Last I checked the guidelines were guidelines and recommendations, not rules and laws.

People need to realize that they are not being helpful in many cases and that it's really none of their business anyway.

Melanie - posted on 12/29/2013

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Hi: I breastfed both of my kids and that worked for me. I had several sisters in around that time having kids and the support system was great. I found it very convenient. That being said, I have a friend who just had a baby and had a terrible time nursing. Her baby was not gaining weight and it was causing a huge amount of stress. She switched to formula and the baby has had a great growth spurt. My friend is loving being a mom instead of stressing out about what she is 'supposedly' doing wrong. I would have done the same if I was having difficulty with it.

Breast milk is only one part of the food experience. I think if you use formula and hold your baby while they are feeding, your baby will have a great dining experience. :)

This seems to be a topic that has no middle ground for some people. So, be ready to hear many opinions about it as you watch your son grow through his toddler years. Just smile and know that you are the one who knows what is best for you and your son. Enjoy every moment. It goes fast!

Heather - posted on 12/28/2013

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Good for you! I will never understand our need to take the stress of new parenthood and make it a hundred times worse by judging each other. Breast feeding can be wonderful, and hard, and torturous and painful and beautiful and responsible and scary.... Sounds kind of like parenting huh?? Find your balance. Children can have formula, some, none, all, both. Find rational people to love and support you and to hell with the judgers that just look for reasons to feel superior. Good luck to you. Hang in there. You will gain confidence in YOUR choices (sometimes!!).

Faith - posted on 12/28/2013

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I will be honest I had intentions of breastfeeding both of my children but when they wouldn't latch on at the hospital I couldn't bare to see them cry with hunger. I gave them formula & tried to get them to latch on at home. I also pumped so they would get all of that good colostrum. To be honest it didn't bother me that they didn't breastfeed. I was formula fed as a a baby & I was healthy. My children were as healthy as a breast fed baby. I am a stay at home mom & try to feed them healthy food. My daughter never got sick until she was 13 months old. My daughter was in the 50 percentile for height & weight & my son still in the 90 percentile. They are both ding wonderfully in school. My point is, is that you should do what YOU are comfortable with & own it. Don't let others make you feel like a bad mom. We all do the best that we can.

Amanda - posted on 12/24/2013

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I Breast-fed my three kids, at first I was like you, I hated it and then I heard about a tea called Healthy Nursing by secretsoftea.com that helps increase breast milk supply and helps moms with postpartum stress
I tried it and all the distress was gone and I started enjoying this wonderful experience

Monica - posted on 12/17/2013

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I live in South Africa, and while we are all encouraged to breastfeed our kids, we are certainly not as dogmatic about it here. I know plenty of friends who didn't breastfeed their kids to the full six months.

My first kid, I breastfed solely for 3 months and then started adding a bottle of formula (as I just could not keep up), by 6 months he was completely off the breast. By three months he was sleeping through the night and was a very happy baby. He is now almost 3, has not had one allergy and is the only kid in his class that did not miss a day of school this entire year. He also gained weight beautifully and is probably slightly above average in height and weight.

My second kid, who was born the same weight, I managed to breastfeed solely for 6 months, but it was a struggle and I really don't think he was getting enough. It was only at 6 months, when I started feeding him formula, did he start sleeping through the night and I haven't looked back since.Funny enough, as the one that was breastfed until 6 months, he is the one with issues. He has got an egg and a peanut allergy, still has reflux, always is snotty and is below the weight he should be. He is almost a year now and I'm hoping that all of this will eventually clear up.

I do think that kids deserve every chance in the first few months of their lives in terms of antibodies as one doesn't want to be giving them antibiotics if they get sick etc, however, I also don't think that you should have to struggle through it. I really do believe that Nicholas, my second baby, suffered from me being so dogmatic about breastfeeding. I was so tired because I wasn't sleeping at night, I had a crazy toddler to deal with, and I felt drained and without energy all the time. My milk was probably not great and thinking back now I do think that had I supplemented with formula I would have been a better mother to both my kids during that period and that my Nicholas would have grown quicker and probably would be more able to fight off allergy's and infection better.

You must do what you think is right. Not what others think is right... and by the way I was also forumla fed. My mother said that she only ever gave me anti-biotics 3 times in my whole childhood and in my adult life I cannot remember ever using them at all. I don't often get sick and if I do my body is very good at fighting off the infection on its own.

Elvira - posted on 12/17/2013

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I completely understand your feelings, being a new mom is tough by itself but then adding breastfeeding among everything else is an overwhelming challenge. During my pregnancy I made the decision to breastfeed my son because I felt that it was the best thing to do, but you are right there is not a lot of support for new mothers and no one or book can prepare you for the real-life experience of breastfeeding. The best support I received when nursing was joining a group of nursing moms and seeing a lactation consultant - when I thought i wasn't doing things right they were able to show me other options and make me feel confident in my ability to breastfeed. They also weighed the baby before and after nursing to show me that he received an adequate amount of food - this was huge in encouraging me to continue to breastfeed when I was feeling like giving up.

My son developed jaundice while we were in the hospital, the only way the doctor would let us go home is if I breastfed and supplemented with formula to make sure he was getting enough fluids to pee and poop it out - and it worked! Once that was done I went back to breastfeeding, were there moments that he may have had a bottle of formula due to circumstances - yes, but he was predominantly breastfed. I chose to stop nursing him at 10 months because at this point he was so big I could only nurse him laying down (I am 6'2 and my husband is 6'5, so he was a long baby). When he started getting up on his knees and twisting around with my nipple in his mouth like it was a toy I knew he was done, so we made the decision to formula feed him for the remaining 2 months until he was put on whole milk.

I am personally proud of my breastfeeding endurance because many times I could have quit but I didn't, I endured pain for 8 weeks before it felt non-painful. Also, the baby was suckling so hard that he ripped one of my nipples, so I had to rely on the other breast more while the other one heeled and this cause my milk supply to be unequal and my breast to be noticeably uneven. There were many nights I cried and was angry and frustrated because it was painful and I felt I wasn't doing it right or the baby wasn't latching correctly. I hated pumping because if you have DD breasts it's hard to hold the pump while pumping and causes your back to hurt, plus you don't feel like you are getting enough milk for the work. (Recommended by my mom I even went to the old school way of expressing milk from my breast because it became easier than pumping and I was able to get more milk.) It drove me crazy that it wasn't something my husband could help with (except bring the baby to me in the middle of the night) and that I was pretty much on call because I was his food supply. Not to mention that I was still working a full-time job and when I had long days or had to travel, I had to make sure he had enough milk in my absence.

Let's be real, breastfeeding is a HUGE SACRIFICE - it's not about you at all. I can't speak for everyone, maybe some woman had it easy and maybe others like me persevered through the challenges, while other woman may not have been able to breastfeed or decided it wasn't for them. I do believe that women have their choice whether to breastfeed or not and I have no intention of judging any woman for their decision, but I'll say unless you have unique circumstances that won't allow you to breastfeed, if you want to make it work like most of life's challenges you will have to get through the hardships and once you do it is rewarding. I would assume most women breastfeed because of the health benefits and the savings. At the end of the day, it is up to the parent's to decide on what they think is best but I just want woman to know that they shouldn't assume that if someone was able to breast feed that it was necessarily an easy journey, it may have been just as tough for them as it was for you or even tougher but they decided to continue past the challenges. I also think there are options for some of the breastfeeding challenges that one can explore if interested in breastfeeding. I have a girlfriend that couldn't get her baby to latch on correctly but she pumped for a year straight so that her baby could get the nutrients from her breast milk. Also, when my milk supply got low I took Fenugreek to increase it and that helped.

On a side note, as far as breastfeeding in public - I did it and have no problems if mothers do it, as long as there is modesty I don't see the problem. I used a nursing cover or blanket so nothing was ever revealed. However, I have been a bit surprised when I've been out and seen a mother's exposed breast while nursing, just not something I would feel comfortable doing so I could see why others may feel a bit uncomfortable. Unfortunately, most places do not have nursing/lactation rooms, including work places, so nursing mom's don't have a lot of choices if their babies are hungry and they are out of bottles or forgot to bring one or just want to breastfeed while out and I agree with another commenter - I'm not going into a disgusting public restroom to nurse unless they have a separate, clean mothers lounge for me to use.

Lastly, I have a question, before formula was an option did mother's just breastfeed because they had to or were there other options? How did our mothers and grandmothers and women before them deal with nursing? They didn't have all the books, classes, lactation consultants and things that we have now. I'm going to play devil's advocate here: I'm wondering if this would even be a topic of discussion if there wasn't an option. Maybe its not breastfeeding moms "making" other moms feel bad about not breastfeeding, maybe these moms are feeling convicted on their own - I don't know the other side to speak on anyone's behalf because I endured the tough journey and breastfed my son, but I can say that I notice a lot of my friends and other woman I've talk to that didn't breastfeed their child for whatever reason usually feel bad about it and I can't say it was anything I said to them or did to make them feel that way. Why are they beating themselves up? Do they feel they gave up and are disappointed in themselves? I haven't run across any bottle-feeding bashing articles or anti-bottle feeding groups - so I say if you make a decision, embrace it, and be completely happy with it.

Elvira - posted on 12/17/2013

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I completely understand your feelings, being a new mom is tough by itself but then adding breastfeeding among everything else is an overwhelming challenge. During my pregnancy I made the decision to breastfeed my son because I felt that it was the best thing to do, but you are right there is not a lot of support for new mothers and no one or book can prepare you for the real-life experience of breastfeeding. The best support I received when nursing was joining a group of nursing moms and seeing a lactation consultant - when I thought i wasn't doing things right they were able to show me other options and make me feel confident in my ability to breastfeed. They also weighed the baby before and after nursing to show me that he received an adequate amount of food - this was huge in encouraging me to continue to breastfeed when I was feeling like giving up.

My son developed jaundice while we were in the hospital, the only way the doctor would let us go home is if I breastfed and supplemented with formula to make sure he was getting enough fluids to pee and poop it out - and it worked! Once that was done I went back to breastfeeding, were there moments that he may have had a bottle of formula due to circumstances - yes, but he was predominantly breastfed. I chose to stop nursing him at 10 months because at this point he was so big I could only nurse him laying down (I am 6'2 and my husband is 6'5, so he was a long baby). When he started getting up on his knees and twisting around with my nipple in his mouth like it was a toy I knew he was done, so we made the decision to formula feed him for the remaining 2 months until he was put on whole milk.

I am personally proud of my breastfeeding endurance because many times I could have quit but I didn't, I endured pain for 8 weeks before it felt non-painful. Also, the baby was suckling so hard that he ripped one of my nipples, so I had to rely on the other breast more while the other one heeled and this cause my milk supply to be unequal and my breast to be noticeably uneven. There were many nights I cried and was angry and frustrated because it was painful and I felt I wasn't doing it right or the baby wasn't latching correctly. I hated pumping because if you have DD breasts it's hard to hold the pump while pumping and causes your back to hurt, plus you don't feel like you are getting enough milk for the work. (Recommended by my mom I even went to the old school way of expressing milk from my breast because it became easier than pumping and I was able to get more milk.) It drove me crazy that it wasn't something my husband could help with (except bring the baby to me in the middle of the night) and that I was pretty much on call because I was his food supply. Not to mention that I was still working a full-time job and when I had long days or had to travel, I had to make sure he had enough milk in my absence.

Let's be real, breastfeeding is a HUGE SACRIFICE - it's not about you at all. I can't speak for everyone, maybe some woman had it easy and maybe others like me persevered through the challenges, while other woman may not have been able to breastfeed or decided it wasn't for them. I do believe that women have their choice whether to breastfeed or not and I have no intention of judging any woman for their decision, but I'll say unless you have unique circumstances that won't allow you to breastfeed, if you want to make it work like most of life's challenges you will have to get through the hardships and once you do it is rewarding. I would assume most women breastfeed because of the health benefits and the savings. At the end of the day, it is up to the parent's to decide on what they think is best but I just want woman to know that they shouldn't assume that if someone was able to breast feed that it was necessarily an easy journey, it may have been just as tough for them as it was for you or even tougher but they decided to continue past the challenges. I also think there are options for some of the breastfeeding challenges that one can explore if interested in breastfeeding. I have a girlfriend that couldn't get her baby to latch on correctly but she pumped for a year straight so that her baby could get the nutrients from her breast milk. Also, when my milk supply got low I took Fenugreek to increase it and that helped.

On a side note, as far as breastfeeding in public - I did it and have no problems if mothers do it, as long as there is modesty I don't see the problem. I used a nursing cover or blanket so nothing was ever revealed. However, I have been a bit surprised when I've been out and seen a mother's exposed breast while nursing, just not something I would feel comfortable doing so I could see why others may feel a bit uncomfortable. Unfortunately, most places do not have nursing/lactation rooms, including work places, so nursing mom's don't have a lot of choices if their babies are hungry and they are out of bottles or forgot to bring one or just want to breastfeed while out and I agree with another commenter - I'm not going into a disgusting public restroom to nurse unless they have a separate, clean mothers lounge for me to use.

Lastly, I have a question, before formula was an option did mother's just breastfeed because they had to or were there other options? How did our mothers and grandmothers and women before them deal with nursing? They didn't have all the books, classes, lactation consultants and things that we have now. I'm going to play devil's advocate here: I'm wondering if this would even be a topic of discussion if there wasn't an option. Maybe its not breastfeeding moms "making" other moms feel bad about not breastfeeding, maybe these moms are feeling convicted on their own - I don't know the other side to speak on anyone's behalf because I endured the tough journey and breastfed my son, but I can say that I notice a lot of my friends and other woman I've talk to that didn't breastfeed their child for whatever reason usually feel bad about it and I can't say it was anything I said to them or did to make them feel that way, where does it come from?

Deborah - posted on 12/15/2013

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Both my sons were bottlefed exclusively and both are smart, developmentally normal little boys. . I think it's completely a personal choice. Don't let anyone pressure you and do what you feel is right for you. My husband got to really bond with our sons b/c he fed them too. I liked that. I only used organic formula so I wasn't worried about GMO's or hormones in the milk. Or pesticides or antibiotics. I believe that if you're going to use formula, organic is crucial. And for those who seem to think breastmilk is so "wholesome' what about all the studies that show that everything you eat and all products you use wind up in breastmilk? Are you eating a completely organic diet? If not the chemicals in your food show up in breastmilk. Are you using organic shampoo, conditioner, deoderant? No. then those chemicals are in your breastmilk..as are all the plastics in your food and the household cleaners that you use. Think about what is healthier.....organic formula that goes thru USDA organic standards (very strict) or what you're eating yourself. Probably not nearly as pure. just my .02. btw I'm an MD.

Mrs. - posted on 12/13/2013

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You know, I had the same feelings with my first. I had formed very solid, blanket opinions on breastfeeding in general that I shared freely for four years.

Since the arrival of my twins, I realized that I was probably off about some of it. At least about the blanket generalization part.

You see, my first daughter and I were not a good match as far as feeding went. You might say, "Not a good match? How can a mother not be a good match for her own baby girl?" Well, she was always frustrated with the amount I could supply, we physically had problems working together, and I was gripped by PPD to boot. I assumed it was that difficult for everyone, and that all these other happy BFing women were just being martyrs.

Move forward four years, and I assumed I would not be breast feeding. I was wholly surprised to find that one of my twins was a great match with me. She is a dream feeder. You can hold her upside down and barely put her on the nipple—she'd latch and feed herself until full.

The other twin was more like her older sister.

It suddenly dawned on me that all those women I thought were just suffering through it probably had either dream feeders or a good physical match.

Now the problem comes from people assuming that their wholly positive experience or negative experience is THE experience. It is not.

This is why we have to respect each other for whatever it is another mother is doing. She knows what works and what doesn't. You don't know what her experience is and nor should you assume you do. All we can do is support each other in whatever we are going through and agree that everyone is different.

I'm all for everything now. I love my formula breaks, I'm happy to pump, and I manage to breastfeed both my twins (although I'm not sure I'll ever love it like a lot of women do, bless them). Feeding is just that—feeding. However, you get it in is best, IMHO.

Leah - posted on 12/13/2013

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Okay, I just did a search, and it wasn't very helpful, but it did turn up with this one site that I thought was very interesting. http://dherbs.com/news/4881/4669/Alterna...,ai.html#.UqvifDhOnJs

Now I don't know about chakras and all of that, but the other milk alternatives listed might prove to be very helpful. Now I didn't spend a lot of time on this search, and I didn't go past the first page, but if you look there is no telling what you might find out. Believe me this article was a shock to me.

Leah - posted on 12/13/2013

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I gotta say Jaime is absolutely right, but on the other side of that it should be said that there are other alternatives to breastfeeding than processed formula. My mother couldn't nurse me or my brother, so we were raised on goats milk. Of all animals milk, goats milk is the closest to human milk, and it is safe for human consumption at birth. And I know this might seem a little out dated, but it is possible to get a wet nurse. And she wouldn't even have to physically nurse the baby. She could pump, and you could feed, and you wouldn't have to worry about bonding and so forth. I actually know plenty of people who have done this, and it is usually a nursing member of the family, but it does not have to be limited to that. I don't judge women who give their babies formula either, I judge the formula also. But I don't think it is fair to make someone feel bad because they don't want to nurse, especially if they don't want to nurse because they have genuinely had a very difficult time with it. I would suggest to you that you try goats milk before you settle on formula, and if you know someone else that is close to you that is nursing, then you might even consider a wet nurse. But be assured, processed formula IS poison. And every thing that Jaime said is 100% accurate. By the way I have 5 children and have nursed every one of them for at least a year and a half or longer. Believe me, I know how trying it can be. But for me I feel that there is no other option, but that is for me. But I think that if you did a search for natural alternatives to breastfeeding, then you will find that there are other options.

Erika - posted on 12/12/2013

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I love breast feeding, yes it hurts and yes my baby falls asleep in the middle of it, but all I do is play with her ears and she wakes up to eat again! I do agree that we need more support breast feeding our babies, I only breast feed her when I'm at my house and I pump some for just in case I gotta go out. I put it in a bottle and I'm good to go! The bad thing is that I take my pump everywhere I go because my breast start hurting if I don't pump :/ I gave her formula because I didn't produce enough milk, but then I got my milk back! Formula has it's ups and downs, but breast milk is way better! I'm not judging you, but hey at least you breast fed your baby for a while :) good luck!

Jaime - posted on 12/12/2013

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Its a public forum for different points of view... its not about not being supportive.. I'm not judging her you or any formula users... I was even blissfully uneducated to use use it.....
I'm not judging her love for her child.. I'm judging infant FORMULA.
By your thinking nothing poisonous is available to the public.
Laughable. You make it clear you don't possess any real knowledge of how and what the fda governs or of the countless research that has proven over and over no matter how you slice it breast is best.
Just because every formula fed baby didn't grow up to be a blubbering idit.. doesn't mean it has no I'll effects.. with the increased percentages of many illness and diseases like cancer .. Alzheimer's.. diabetes etc. Its easy to conclude what we are eating is effecting us. .. formula is poison. Poison we give our babies. Mercury must b safe too the fda let's you put it in your mouth. Wake up america!!!!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/12/2013

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Jaime, you've been told. Formula is NOT poison. Case in point: IF IT WERE, IT WOULD NOT BE AVAILABLE.

Can you be supportive? If not, then keep your hands to yourself, and your fingers off of your keyboard. If formula is nutritionally deficient, how did my kids (and MANY others, mind you) stay in the 95th or better percentile for growth & development? How did my children's IQ points get to be where they are? How did they ever even make it past infancy? How did the MILLIONS of other children who were not breastfed?

You want to make it clear that you don't judge, but you damned sure don't mind fearmongering and falsehoods, I see.

Have some respect for your peers. Have some self control. And mostly? LEARN SOME DAMN COMPASSION. Oh, and some classes on how to be supportive of others, rather than critical would be nice, as well.

Jaime - posted on 12/12/2013

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I understand that how you feed your baby is a personal choice. I m sorry Donna but formula is poison. I am not narrow minded .. I am educated. Nutritionally we know breast is best. Its science fact .. not my opinion... formula is a great invention. Its been a godsend to mothers around the world. ... or is it? Formula is processed under high heat leading to advanced glycagtion end products.. these molecules attach to and damage proteins in the body... formula is ladden with hidden sugar.. made with gmo ingredients.. soy... etc. And is missing tons of even yet understood cofactors naturally found in human milk. It was difficult for me when I too learned the fda is not as caring about your health as they are their wallets.. fda allows many poisons in our food and these same ingredients are already banned in other countries because of their I'll effects on the human body. ... I want to make it clear that I don't judge how women to choose to raise their children. Formula however needs a lot of changes to not be poison.. its nutritionally deficient.. at best.. and Thats even without considering the loads of toxic and experimental ingredients. I wish it were untrue.. but its a sad reality.. try some research

Donna - posted on 12/12/2013

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From 1 Donna to another ... Do what suits you. At the end of the day if your happy then your son will be happy to. Remember they say your baby feels when your stressed .. so go with what is better for you! Im a mother of 5, my kids are 15, 13, 34 month old, 21 month old & 3 months .. my eldest was breastfed for 1 week due to cracked and bleeding nipples and the relief to have her off my breasts was heaven. My 13 yr old was breastfed for 8 months, my 34 month old was breastfed for 5 months, my 21 month old was breastfed for 13 months & i'm currently breastfeeding my 3 monthold. To be honest I'm over it and cant wait to get my boobs back. I know its said to be the best thing for them and I get that but for me its come down to convenience and affordability. If formula was poison it wouldnt be available to buy and in so many different brands. So dont feel that your doing anything wrong and for anyone that thinks or says differently are just narrow minded and dont understand that its not for everybody. Stand strong and listen to yourself because you know whats best for you and your son.
Donna P

Amanda - posted on 12/11/2013

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Hi Donna,
i was lucky enough not to have to deal with mastitis, however I did have the problem of not producing enough. That probably has a lot to do with the milk not coming in as quick as the nurses expected and supplementing with formula practically from day 1!! The beginning was very VERY painful for me and he did the same thing (falling asleep or crying every few seconds) however around 5-6 months things got a lot easier. But now that he has his 1st tooth(9 months) the pain is back and i don't expect to be breastfeeding much longer.
just remember its not about what other people think. Its about what is best for you and your child :)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/10/2013

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@ Beatrice, just as no one should be ashamed to breastfeed, no one should be shamed for not doing so

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/10/2013

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Jaime Morris, you are incorrect. do some research

Tina - posted on 12/10/2013

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I didn't breast feed either of mine and they are both fine its personal choice its what suits the individual and as long as your giving your baby love that's all that matters x

Krista - posted on 12/10/2013

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Hello Donna,
I too am a nurse and mother. I too struggled with breast feeding my children. I found it to be extremely difficult, painful, challenging, and frustrating. I could not believe that no one had taken the time to explain how challenging and time consuming it would be, not to mention the pain!
I made the decision to switch to formula and it was the best decision I ever made, for both my baby and myself. You need to do what is right for you and your baby. Do not let any feelings of guilt make you do anything. This is YOUR life, and your decision. Your baby will grow up healthy and happy fed with breast milk or with formula. I hope any decision you make brings you peace and happiness. Take care, Krista

[deleted account]

As women we are under enough pressure to be perfect - perfect moms, perfect wives, perfect employees/employers, perfect "10's" - it is important that we support each other's personal decisions respectfully and without judgment. And just because we are not face to face does not mean it is okay to type ugly remarks or use all caps to "scream" disagreeably.
I believe it is more important for a woman's personal experience to be heard than stifled. We are individuals and each one will have something to share that will help another. There is not a single person alive who can speak for everyone and no one should try to shame another for being themselves.
By validating we will uplift and by uplifting one we all win. And the world becomes a little less stressful!

Beatrice - posted on 12/09/2013

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Breastfeeding is natural and no one should be ashamed of it. Thats what our breast are for.

Meredith - posted on 12/09/2013

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You are wonderful for trying...My first child I only did it while in the hospital. My second I nursed and pumped (more pumped) and supplement with formula. My last one I was able to BF exclusively (with a few ounces in the beginning of formula). It was hard at first - many tears and painful days but now it comes easy. It's all about your support system; My hospital was great the nurses would sit with me and help, also I asked the consultant to come in & help. My Dr approved (so it was covered by Insurance) me to have a Visiting Nurse come a couple of times a week because he was on the lower end with his weight. Many times I said alright ill try and make it through the day or week. you do what you can... Also with regards to BF in public at first I used a cover up because we were learning & I was a bit embarrassed but now he latches on & I just say screw everyone who isnt ok with it...it's life get use to it! Good Luck with what ever you choose to do down the line

Tina - posted on 12/08/2013

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you go Girl! DO NOT let anyone let you feel guilty. Not only am I conservative, Christian, and have five kids, but my first two were formula fed. (and they are healthy and amazing adults now! The next three I nursed AND breast fed. THIS is what worked for ME! That way, others were able to feed the baby and I was able to be gone for the more than four hours at a time. There is one difference i found with the three that I breast fed. Those three were more "dependent" on me. even throughout their teen years. I just found that interesting. Not good or bad. Just interesting. I NEVER produced ENOUGH milk without sitting on my butt literally ALL DAY! So if I do that with the third, fourth and fifth kid, then how does ANYTHING ELSE GET DONE???? ARE ALL OF YOU BREAT FEEDING MOMS GOING TO COME AND BRING ME AND MY FAMILY BREAKFAST, LUNCH AND DINNER EVERY DAY? AS WELL AS CLEAN MY HOUSE AND LETS NOT FORGET DOC APPTS AND PICKING THE KIDS UP AT SCHOOL. WHEN I WOULD BOTTLE FEED (WITH FORMULA) I WAS ABLE TO GET THINGS DONE IN THE HOUSE AND FINALLY BREATHE AND OTHERS COULD BOND WITH THE BABY. GIRL YOU DO WHAT WORIKS FOR YOU. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH NON-TOXIC PEOPLE!! None of us were created the same. In addition, our babies were not created the same. Some eat more, some less, some longer some shorter. Some wives have more understandable husbands, some less understandable. Some wives must work, others can stay home. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ANSWER TO ANYONE UNLESS YOU CHOOSE TO! IF THE SUBJECT COMES UP, YOU SIMPLY RESPOND. "OH, I AM SORRY, I DONT WANT TO BORE YOU WITH MY FAMILY'S EATING SCHEDULE ETC. LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING MORE INTERESTING. IF THEY PRESS, YOU SIMPLY REPEAT YOURSELF. "OH, YOU MUST NOT HAE HEARD ME. I REALLY WOULD PREFER NOT TO DISCUSS THAT!" IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW WELL YOU KNOW THEM. IT IS SIMPLY SETTING BOUNDARIES. If they become annoyed, it is ok. They don't need to know everything about your life. HOpe this helps!

Paulette - posted on 12/08/2013

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Hi Donna
I am so sorry that breastfeeding was such a night mare, to me it was the only positive thing about being pregnant and giving birth. You seem to feel upset and believe me sister, I understand you and all I have to say to you is Do what is best for you. I couldn't eat, enjoy or even have cravings when pregnant It was the worst and I cursed every day!! But when my son latched on, I felt such a relief that all the bitterness went away. You are entitled to do what is best for you and your son period.

Paulette Etcheberry

Paulette - posted on 12/08/2013

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I am sorry to hear that since what I hate is to be pregnant! my eight months of misery were throwing up, being dehydrated and getting IV's. The moment my son came out and latched on I felt the most extraordinary sensations, finally I understood what giving birth meant and what a gift was for me to breastfed only my son for 2 and a half years. I have been told that I am selfish for not having another one I will never go to another pregnancy in my life regardless of all the other happier moms who can have babies like rabbits. Don't feel guilty, I understand your pain because it your experience and nobody will take that away from you, I truly hope you keep doing what is right for you, your mental health and the well being of your son. Do what is right for you love

Cecilia - posted on 12/07/2013

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If you read back, I did BF 3 of my kids. It isn't that I didn't want to do it. You obviously think I took it personal when that can't be true... All I am saying is that people are allowed their bad experience. They are allowed to share that with others. It might be helpful for someone to know the bad that comes with it. Many people are not prepared for it. I know no one told me there was a downside.

We ALL know motherhood is about sacrifice. All of us know that. From the time we get pregnant we know it. You keep saying it as if we will catch on at any moment.

As far as the "formula killing" thing goes, if you're talking about the bacteria that was in formula a few years ago, that was honestly bad parenting. The bacteria did not form unless the bottle sat at room temp for 4 hours or more. That's really gross, why would anyone give their baby a 4 hour old bottle? If you give them an old bottle, be it formula or breast milk they can get sick.

Carrie - posted on 12/07/2013

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Formula has never killed a baby? Why don't you look that one up. I am formally extracting myself from this thread because I wasn't judging you, but you were judging me because I am not a whiny cry baby. I feel sorry for the children of selfish mothers. Being a mother is about self sacrifice. I don't want a medal for nursing my children, I do it because it is the right thing to do, the natural thing to do and the best thing to do. I don't judge you for your choice not to. Just like mothers who feed their kids mcdonalds every day instead of cooking healthy meals. Do what you want with your kids and I'll do what I want with mine. I am entitled to my opinion that this article was crap and you are entitled to whine and cry about sore nipples and how tough having a nursing baby is.

Jennefer - posted on 12/07/2013

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I never even attempted to breatfeed my first child and the pressure from being so full of milk was almost intolerable. I wasn't able to hold him for a full 2 days due to fear of him accidentally bumping my extremely painful breasts. When my daughter was born I was determined to not have the same experience so I chose to feed her. My milk never came in and I didn't know how to make her latch on properly. I went so far as to try and pump all my milk so she wouldn't have to latch on and that didn't work either. After a successful pumping session the most I got was 2 oz. I was just not producing what she needed. With both kids I had horrible experiences even tho I tried both ways. Everyones situation is different. You need to do what you feel is best for you and your baby. My kids are now 15 and 8 and doing fine so apparently it's not that big of an issue.

Andrea - posted on 12/06/2013

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I agree with you. While I think it's insane that anyone would be offended seeing a mother breastfeeding in public I also think It's unfair when moms are looked down on by others because they don't wish to breastfeed. I did not get put on antibiotics but I breastfed my daughterfor 5 months and the whole time it was a nightmare. I really was looking forward to the whole bonding opportunity but it turned out to be miserable 95% of the time. My nipples are very sensitive and just could not take the abuse my daughter gave them. They cracked and bled, I bought these crazy looking rubber things that would help her to latch on and make it less painful but no matter what I tried it still hurt. I could not even pump because it was too uncomfortable so I was pretty much on call 24/7 for frequent painful feedings. (By the way I have a pretty high pain threshold - I had a vaginal birth with no epidural and was ok) but I was so glad to switch to formula and I will never try breastfeeding again. I just wish there wasn't such negativity towards mom who can't or don't want to breastfeed... Its just not for everyone!

Cecilia - posted on 12/06/2013

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It does that when anyone posts to the thread, why they don't reword that... not sure.

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