Why must my daughter wear pink?!

Anita - posted on 07/31/2009 ( 71 moms have responded )

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I went to try and buy some nice shoes for my 1 year old daughter, who has just started walking, last week. The shop assistant, after mistaking my little girl for a boy (she was wearing a grey top with red poppies on it), showed me their range of shoes for girls.... they were all pink!!! I politely asked to see some other colours and was told but they are boys shoes I asked what the difference was..... nothing except the colour. When I asked if I could buy the red pair for my daughter the women looked at me like I was abusing my child.



How dose everyone else out there feel about this stupid colour gender thing?? Kids are kids surely it doesn't matter what colour they wear. Until my little girl can tell me what she wants to wear I get to choose what she wears and I will obviously chose to dress her in the colours I like. Why do people seem to have such a problem with me dressing my daughter in red/blue/brown/green/yellow in fact any colour other than pink?



Sorry about the rant, but the total stupidity of genders only wearing certain colours just flabbergasts me, anyone else feel the same?

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Kerri - posted on 08/12/2009

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I don't really mind what colous my sons wear, but it does get a bit annoying sometimes that, particularly with cheaper stores, the range of boys clothes is tiny compared to girls. There is normally a choice of about 5 tops and bottoms for boys (usually in shades of blue and brown), while the girls clothes take up half the shop, and are in all colours of the rainbow! I was looking for a pair of shoes for my eldest son recently and there were no boys shoes at all, only sparkly black or pink and girly, nothing that was even vaguely unisex!

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Lisa37601 - posted on 12/05/2011

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my son is 10
i let him wear what every color he likes.
I agree color is not important as long it fits.
no matter if it girl or boys thing.
like jeans and shoes and tshirt

Joyce - posted on 10/28/2011

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I agree whole-heartedly. It is an antiquated stereotypical idea that should be discouraged and abandoned. My son wore blue jeans and striped shirts, and people still always looked at his lovely eyelashes and dark, piercing eyes and said "What a cute lkittle girl!" so we went with green, yellow, red, whatever looked good and fit. Tel them to paint their doggies toenails and leave you alone!

Renee - posted on 08/07/2009

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I enjoy clothes that are gender-specific, but that is based on the cut, not the color. My oldest daughter has always worn mostly blue. She had lots of blue dresses or cute capris with bows. Anyway, I like the girly stuff cuz I just do. For us, girly does not equal pink. ( She also looks really good in black and green.)

Rachel - posted on 08/05/2009

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please do not stress out over that. let your child be who she wants to be its not hurting them to wear what they want to wear. i took a couple parenting classes and learned that the way they dress will not hurt them, it might embarrass us but if anyone says anything we just say they are their own person what they want to wear is up to them. and if people are going to judge you or them by the way they dress then you don't need them in your life anyways. And never worry about what others think about you or your child anyways. like their prefect anyways. to hang in there and just let your child be who she or he is ok.

Mary - posted on 08/05/2009

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don't let it get to you. my daughter wears pink some days, other days she wears hand-me- downs from her brothers. there are even days that she is very chic and wears all black, even as an infant. now that she is 2, i give her a choice of a few things to wear each day and make sure she has a variety of colors/styes t choose from!

Angela - posted on 08/03/2009

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Yeah, I get the boy thing even when my little girl is wearing pink. One of my friends told me to tell people that she is a little boy that I decided to dress him in drag. =) I hate the gender color crap. If you aren't sure what child is you don't have to use a pronoun of he/she just say "child" or "baby."

Laura - posted on 08/03/2009

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When my daughter was little, I loved pink but I also loved other colors as well, she had white shoes, gym shoes, pink shoes, black shoes etc, one of my favorite outfits for her was a denim jumper, feminine but definetely not pink. YOu are the mom and until she is old enough to chose her own colors it is your choice, find another shoe store?

Kayla - posted on 08/03/2009

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I HAVE to put my daughter in really, really girly clothes. She's 26mo and still barely has hair. Her ears are pierced and I have horse shoe earrings that are hard to miss on her. People can be so rude. Girls shouldn't HAVE to be in a dress or lots of pink, just because of lack of hair! Here I am ranting too, but I feel ya.

Carianne - posted on 08/03/2009

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LOL... I love all the bright colors of the rainbow, and no matter what my daughter used to wear people would think she was a boy anyway! :-) I'm not a big fan of pastels myself; the bolder the color the better! BTW I love the little outfit your daughter is wearing in your profile pic! :-)

Jessica - posted on 08/03/2009

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I hate pink, I work at a childrens' clothing store so i see everything before it is put out and I buy my daughter everything but pink. But my daughter is getting older and she does like pink and her aunts uncles and grandparents get her pink

Heather - posted on 08/03/2009

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I dressed my daughter in lots of different colors. I had her in T-shirts and jeans a lot as an infant because I had b/g twins, so instead of having to buy boy and girl clothes I use to just buy jeans and tshirts. I did have dresses and flowery stuff for my daughter also, but I did not hesitate to put her in comfortable clothes. Who doesn't like jeans and a tshirt.

Lauren - posted on 08/03/2009

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oh i hate this! I don't want my lil girl in all pink all the time. My family is going to rebel I am sure, they are very persistant on the whole pink thing. Pink does not equal girl! If you can find something for her that is not pink go for it! Wish we could talk big companies into makeing cross gender clothes in a wider range of colors. And to make girl clothes out of something other than pink!

Sharon - posted on 08/03/2009

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LOL Tracy they are color blind and fashion idiots to mistake the dress! Its happend to us too!

Tracy - posted on 08/03/2009

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Pink/blue is probably so people can tell if it is a girl/boy. Although, even when we have our daughter in a pink dress, we still have people asking if she is a boy or girl! (Maybe they are the color blind people). She looks really cool in purple anyway.

Sharon - posted on 08/03/2009

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OHHHHH I get it. I'm sorry! Ok yeah the shop assistant is 'tard and needs a paddling and to watch some empowering chick flick videos!! I would resent being pigeon holed too.

Anita - posted on 08/03/2009

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Sharon just to respond to your rant. it is merely my personal dislike for pink that caused me to get annoyed with this shop assistant. I agree anyone one can wear any colour they like and if i one day have a son he will wear the hand me down clothes of my daughter no matter what the colour. I don't like pink and wont dress my daughter in pink if you like it that fine.

What annoys me is this stupid attitude society seems to have that a child's sex must be advertise to the world so they can be pigeon holed into their "appropriate" gender roles from the minute they are born.

Children should be dressed in whatever colour they or their parents want. Children should be told they can be whatever they want and be encourage to reach their full potential in what ever it is they choose to do. I will encourage my daughter to play lots of sport, play an instrument and study if that is what she wants to do. If she want to be a mechanic or pilot or nurse or nanny I will support her all the way.

The shoe shop is actually very good, there is a wide range of colours and styles. The only problem with the shop is that some of staff seem intent on perpetuating these bad stereotypes. I will continue to shop there because they have top quality shoes, I was just interested in seeing if others out there had encounter similar bigots and the best way to handle them.

Anita - posted on 08/03/2009

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Sharon just to respond to your rant. it is merely my personal dislike for pink that caused me to get annoyed with this shop assistant. I agree anyone one can wear any colour they like and if i one day have a son he will wear the hand me down clothes of my daughter no matter what the colour. I don't like pink and wont dress my daughter in pink if you like it that fine.

What annoys me is this stupid attitude society seems to have that a child's sex must be advertise to the world so they can be pigeon holed into their "appropriate" gender roles from the minute they are born.

Children should be dressed in whatever colour they or their parents want. Children should be told they can be whatever they want and be encourage to reach their full potential in what ever it is they choose to do. I will encourage my daughter to play lots of sport, play an instrument and study if that is what she wants to do. If she want to be a mechanic or pilot or nurse or nanny I will support her all the way.

The shoe shop is actually very good, there is a wide range of colours and styles. The only problem with the shop is that some of staff seem intent on perpetuating these bad stereotypes. I will continue to shop there because they have top quality shoes, I was just interested in seeing if others out there had encounter similar bigots and the best way to handle them.

Barbara - posted on 08/02/2009

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I happen to be a huge fan of pink...sorry I love it! but...there are some totally cute purple things and now red is big. I seriously wish I could have more! I'm having a neice next month and I bought her a very cute pastel blue outfit at TJ max....love it all!!!!

Amanda - posted on 08/02/2009

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i'm not that into pink... when my daughter was born and everyone wanted to buy her something i asked for something other than pink. she had some pink things already which was fine and i dressed her in them. for her first birthday party she wore a beautiful purple and blue dress. my sister in-law on the other hand refused to ever put her daughter in anything but pink and now at a year old i never see her in pink.

Sharon - posted on 08/02/2009

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I still don't understand where you're living that you don't have a choice of colors for your daughter.



I chose to dress my daughter in pink becuase we were so thrilled to finally get a little girl.



To keep similar things among my kids seperate we assigned colors. I dressed my first son in a blue outfit on leaving on the hospital and that became his color. I don't see the harm in giving a color to a child or a gender. Do you think that if you dress your girl child in blue that will make her a tomboy? Will it strip her of natural sex? Will it give her extra power in denying that she is a girl? What is wrong with a being a girl in PINK?



Why aren't you dressing your little boys in pink dresses? After all everyone is the same right?



I'm NOT saying a child can't wear other colors. My daughter LOVES pink. She picked two shades of pink for her walls, pink carpet (OMG) and three shades of pink for her curtains, dear lord, its like walking into a vat of pepto bismal in her room. She can have any color she wants but generally she chooses pink. She plays soccer and loves her pokemon cartoons and video games. She also loves Princess Jasmine from Disney and Ariel and has most of their dolls.



So I'm confused what does the color pink have to do with anything? Your child will be independent and capable based on how you raise them, not based on what color shirt you put on them.



And because I'm sure the question got lost in my rant - where are you living that you only have one shoe store and only one choice of color?

Shee' - posted on 08/02/2009

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Enjoy dressing her in what you like now. When she gets older I am sure she will tell you her favorite colors until then do you! My daughter is almost 10 and loves pink and purple. I can tell you I am tired of pink! Everyone has a choice and just because it has become that pink is for girls and blue for boys doesn't mean we have to accept the norm.

Maureen - posted on 08/02/2009

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I used gender neutral colors for my daughter because I hoped to have other children who could use her clothes. Yellow and green are good for that. To this day, she (at age 29) still isn't very fond of pink!

Lydia - posted on 08/02/2009

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hahaha - i got told off because my little girl had a "boys" dummy (it was white and green). I hate pink and try to avoid it as much as possible. People have their opinions on this but as long as Im happy and shes happy I really dont care if anyone else has an issue with how I dress her :)

Charlotte - posted on 08/02/2009

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I hatt the whole "if it's a boy they've gotta wear green, blue and black. If it's a girl she's gotta wear pink and flowers and pretty things". It does my head in!

The way I see it, as long as they're dressed, then what does it matter?!

I went shopping with my mother in law and few weeks after my daughter was born. I picked up a few blue and green outfits that I was going to get and she had a go at me, telling me I have to buy pink things for her instead and that if I bought those clothes she wouldn't dress her in them. I obviously didn't listen and went ahead and bought them.

Isobel - posted on 08/02/2009

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I say, so long as you are willing to have people ask you whether she is a girl or a boy, the need for gender biased clothing is moot. it affects us not them

Johnny - posted on 08/01/2009

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I started out avoiding pink like the plague. Everything I bought for my daughter was green, yellow, brown, blue, red,white, etc. But I discovered that she looks terrible in green, yellow & brown. And it's hard to find nice blue clothes for girls (although I do have a couple of adorable little outfits). But she looks smashing in pink. And it also has stopped the annoying, "oh, what a cute little boy comments". One of my friends still never dresses her daughter in pink, and she's actually had people think her daughter's name is "itsagirl". But no, you should not have to dress a girl in pink & a boy in blue, what a crazy shop assistant!

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I despise pink, but my mom loves it. So she and I made a compromise: we'll do purple if I ever have a girl. But the whole girls in pink, boys in blue thing is so boring and traditional that it makes me gag. I like to think I'm more independent and more of an individual, and if anyone doesn't like it, it's my life and my kids and poop on them!

[deleted account]

Until I took a WS class I hated pink w/a passion! One of the things I learned while in the class was that because of how society degrades women & oppresses them I did not want to be associated w/them (ie wearing pink) because then it would not be ignored that i am a woman. I felt for me to be treated more equal I had to be more masculine, and as we all know from the men in our lives that equates to NOT wearing pink or anything feminine. Since that class I can happily wear pink, or anything feminine, although I hate makeup! I personally hate all pale colors and refuse to buy clothes around April (Easter) as they all seem to be pale, ugh... It is rediculous that all their clothes are PINK! Why should boys be so lucky to have bright pretty colors? And I feel for y'all who have girls because the princess thing drives ME nuts too!

Ann - posted on 08/01/2009

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Your daughter does not have to wear pink! My youngest was a blond, blue-eyed angel and I dressed her in blue most of the time--it made her eyes stand out. No one can mistake a girl for a boy if the girl is wearing a blue DRESS. I got strange looks at times which I ignored completely. She is grown now and is beautiful in any color she wears!

Charlie - posted on 08/01/2009

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Its adults that have given colors , genders which i think is ridiculous . there were not many days at school were the female students ( i am a teacher ) were not all dressed in pink yet the boys wore all colors .
Although in Australia men are going through what is called a " metrosexual " phase were many men are now donning pink and purple clothing so i think it is becoming a tiny bit less gender specified .
It is certainly hard to shop for an unborn child before you know there gender ( which is why i found out )

Kyleen - posted on 08/01/2009

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I am totally with you! I am due in 7 weeks and we decided to make it a surprise. I told my other half that if it is a girl, she will not always wear pink! Yes, there are some cute outfits...but not ALL of them have to be pink! I am all for green, brown, yellow, purple, teal, ect. anything but pink! lol When she is old enough to tell me her favorite color, then she can wear it!

Teliah - posted on 07/31/2009

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I have the same problem. I'm not a fan of pink and I have 4 girls and only 1 boy! I think if my son went out in pink there would be more hoo-haa than if I took my daughters out in blue, however my 2 year old daughter is constantly called a boy because we got sick of putting pink on them all the time. I see no problem with reds, neutrals and navy's being put on girls- do we as adults get called men for wearing something other than pink? My son is 9 and he quite likes pink as a colour, not as a fashion statement. But then all my kids like pink and numerous other colours of the rainbow- kids see them as colourful and pretty and nothing more. So I feel your pain and totally agree with you!

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Gender stereotyping starts in infancy with all the gender appropriate clothes, toys, etc. I went through McDonalds once and they asked if I wanted the "girl toy or the boy toy" for the happy meal. I complained that they should be using the name of the toy, not assigning gender to them. They thought I was speaking Greek! My son chose a Barbie toy that day. Big deal. He is 21 and he is perfectly find despite his brush with playing with dolls.

Gayla - posted on 07/31/2009

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she doesnt. i hate pink and that is all my granddaughter had when she was born. i went got purple, green, yellows for my house.

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I hate pink as well. i dressed both my girls in whatever I liked. I did find that designer clothes came in a better variety of colors. Although they have the downside of costing much more. In the end who cares if people think your girl is a boy or boy is a girl...do what makes you happy!

Samantha - posted on 07/31/2009

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I don't mind putting my daughter in pink. I think she looks really cute in it. My daughter also looks really good in green. I love putting her in green it makes her blue eyes stand out so much!

I have a whole range of colors for my daughter she wears blue, green, orange, pink, purple, yellow and of course pink.

If I put her in blue I just throw pony tails in her hair so she looks like a girl, she also has her ears pierced so that helps as well.

I think that people should be able to wear whatever color they want or be able to play with whatever they want. I must say that I get the evil eye when I take my daughter out and she takes her little toy truck with her. It's annoying!!

Amy - posted on 07/31/2009

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I also am SO SO SO against this whole PINK thing. Aside from clothes...has anyone been to a toy store lately?? They actually gender color all sorts of classic toys now too, which really really disturbs me. You know the "Corn Popper" toy that is pushed...yup...PINK! Tball sets...PINK!!! I am due with my second child (a girl) in 4 weeks and my Moms have already started the whole pink, princess thing even though I begged them not to. I don't want my daughter thinking that just because she is a girl that she has to be a princess. I want her to be a lady and feminine, but that doesn't mean having to make her into a pepto bismal commercial.

Abigail - posted on 07/31/2009

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I think it's pretty stupid. When my daughter was around 6 months or so, we went out and I had a blue shirt on her and some jeans. A lady came up and asked how old 'he' was and I politly corrected her and told her that 'she' was 6 months. She looked at me and said 'no, that's a boy.' and walked off -_-

I don't mind my daughter wearing pink, I mean I'm not really a fan of the color but if someone gets her something that is pink I don't mind, but I don't think that that should be the ONLY color a little girl is alowed to wear. It's just a color for the love of love!

I happen to love the way my daughter looks in blue.

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Totally agree with you Anita. Let kids be kids, let them wear whatever color they want. At least, when they're young, they can get away with stuff like that! :-)

Sharon - posted on 07/31/2009

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I am happy having my daughter wear pink. She's also allowed to wear any color she wants. I've never run into your situation though? what sort of hole in the wall shop did you go to?



here in the US shoes come in such a crazy range of colors for kids - you're dazzled by the rainbow.



As for colors defining sexes. My oldest picked a pinkish shirt for himself. I thought it was odd but let him have it.



But when they were babies. To help other people figure out what my children were, my oldest wore blue, the younger boy wore green and my daughter was in pink.



I think you need to find a new shoe store. Evidently the people who work there are dense.

Stephanie - posted on 07/31/2009

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OMG this is so aggrevating to me as well. We did not find out the gender of our little one until she was born and I cant tell you how many times I herd....well how do we know what to buy if we dont know boy or girl!!
It irritated me to no end, I mean um, hello....its a baby they all need the same thing no matter the gender.
Now that she is 7 months I still struggle with the whole color thing. I dont want everything pink so you really have to search.
My SIL gave me a ton of her old baby clothes, boy and girl...I went through and picked out clothes from each so I dont think it really matters.
No matter what color you dress them people are still gonna mistaken them for the opposite gender....I went to the store with her dressed in purple and the check out guy called her a boy LOL

Heather - posted on 07/31/2009

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I love my daughters yellow Beastie Boyz onesie and if people refer to her as him while she is wearing it i just correct them. it can be hard to tell if cute babies are girls or boys sometimes and so the clothing industry thinks every child needs clothes to identify their gender. I think someone with the right skills could make a killing designing clothes for kids that are less flowers or cars pinks or blues I mean there are a lot of colors out there

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My first daughter was mistaken for a boy all the time! She didn't have much hair until she was at least 2 1/2 , and even with a bow stuck to her head, people would refer to her as 'he'! Anyway, she's never been a fan of pink, and to this day (she's 24 now!), she doesn't wear it. My other daughter LOVES pink and has the girly personality. Not my choice, but once she was old enough to tell me what she liked, she wanted pink!



It's a pain when that's all you can find. The problem is, the market dictates what's on the shelves, and a lot of mommies follow the masses right into the pink/blue world. It's not easy, but you can find stuff in all the other colors out there! Think of it as an adventure, hunting down non-pink clothes & shoes for her! :)



I was not only that way with clothes, but with their toys! I primarily bought gender neutral toys. Educational stuff, LEGO, books, etc. When they got old enough to ask for toys, they pretty much stuck to the same stuff, but I could see their choices develop with their personalities. Older one went for more creative & engineering, younger did ask for barbies & more cutsey stuff. At 24 & 19, the older one is in college learning technology & younger loves cooking & sewing. They will find their own paths, and it's great to guide them, but also let them develop their own personalities as they emerge.

Shannon - posted on 07/31/2009

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My little girl has been wearing 'boy's clothing' since the day she was born! I dress her in 'girl's clothes' too, since we get so much of it in present form; but I am not a fan of pink or of gender stereotypes, so my daughter will see very little of the pink persuasion. Am I wrong for not advertising to the world "This is a girl! Note the pink!"...? I don't think so. Girls are dressed in pink now mostly to advertise their being a girl. And I don't think that's necessary.

Michelle - posted on 07/31/2009

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I myself LOVE pink!! It's my favorite colour! So I do make my daughter wear it and she will until she can tell me otherwise. My hubby however HATES the colour and refuses to buy anything for her that's pink! She has browns, yellows, blues, greens, purples and tons of pink. Although it hardly seems to matter what colour she wears because people are forever asking me if she's a boy... even if she has an all pink outfit on! As for the red shoes, I'd buy them!

Jocelyn - posted on 07/31/2009

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i think i'm a little biased here, i love pink lol. i had pink hair for years!!! i only have a son (so far, i'm due oct and i think it might be a girl) but i'm not set on dressing her all in pink. (we are a very pale family lol, so we have to be careful with shades) we have a black label society hoody, little crib shoes with sailor jerry-style print all over them, etc etc. and my sons jeans will work just as well for jeans for her (even if they don't have ruffles lol) my son also had a lot of little converse shoes, which my (maybe) daughter will wear of course.

Marne - posted on 07/31/2009

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Iknow what you mean exactly! When my daughter was about 3 months old we went some where and she was wearing a denim jumper. Yes blue, yes accented with red but the thing was DRIPPING lace and little red bows and she was wearing a matching headband with a bow and red patent leather shoes with, yes, more bows. The entire time we were out we got' oh, what adorable boys you have' and 'Oh, 3 boys, do you ever wish for a girl?' Its ridiculous. I mean I could understand with infants if they're wearing something totally unisex like a green jammy with ducks on it but really, pink shouldn't be the sole means of indicating gender. The worst part is, my daughter is theonly girl in 2 generations on her dads side of the family and the only girl in her generation on my side of the family. As a result EVERYTHING she gets from family is PINK. My mom-in-law bought her a little red dress for her 4th birthday and I just about cried, it was the first non-pink gift we've gotten.

Jennifer - posted on 07/31/2009

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i dont feel girls have to wear pink. really i m so sick of pink lol. if i put her in an out fit that she might get mistaken for a boy in i just threw a head band on her head- she has no hair, if your daughter does just throw a lil clip in. or try putting on shoes with a lil pink or some thing. all you need is one item that will show people she is a girl good luck

Rhionna - posted on 07/31/2009

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I must admit I love to see my LO in pink, I have 2 sons as well so she sometimes ends up in blue which suits her really well. I just get sick of explaining that she's a girl. The other day I went to the supermarket and she was dressed head to toe in pink and I still got asked if she was a boy or girl. I give up lol! But when it comes to shoes I think she'll be in trainers just as my sons always are!

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