Why, oh why won't my 3YO boy use the potty?

Heather - posted on 02/03/2011 ( 152 moms have responded )

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My son is 3 YO and 3 months, he started showing interest in using the potty when he was 2 so I bought a little potty for him, then I bought a ring to go on the big potty, then I bought underpants, then I brought out the potty chart, then I tried to give him candy if he goes on the potty. All of the things that I tried seemed to interest him but he refuses to sit or stand on or by the potty (big or small.) He wantst the rewards, he wants to wear underpants he just does not want use the potty.

What do I do next???

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Sharon - posted on 02/09/2011

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This problem is so common, I think as parents we expect our children to be using the toilet at this age and there is so much pressure, especially when they are in, or getting ready to start nursery with others the same age who are all toilet trained. My son is just over three and had been trained early but then stopped and refused to go, the more I tried the harder he fought. I kind of felt it was my fault and I needed to do something but kids are like adults and take to things in there own time and way and dont like to be pushed. I sought advice from everyone, tried rewards, stickers, all kinds of pants, letting him get wet as I heard they dont like being in wet clothes, but nothing worked, in the end I give up and decided 3 is just an age and he is very advanced in other areas so I left it for about a month and never mentioned it and on Friday past out of the blue he told me he wanted to be a big boy and not wear nappies anymore and five days in, bar a little accident its going very well. I dont know what the secret was in the end but its a massive thing for them and someone once told me its a bit like an adult learning to drive, as they need to learn the sequence of events to get them out of a habit they have been doing since birth and it needs to register when they need to go and then where. All children are special and unique and do things at different times and stages and what works for others may not work for you, so don't get too caught up in the do's and don't and do what feels right for you and take your time and relax about it, for me that was the hardest part. Focus on the other positive things he does for now and he will do it when he is ready, don't let it become something negative as its the positive praises that stick the most.

Crystal - posted on 02/07/2011

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i have 3yr old twin boys they gave me a hassle but i let them take there time.. its very time consuming but u gotta take it step by step yes start off with no under wear or pants if they succeed with that then go with the just under wear u gotta keep asking them if they gotta go if they drink something it is known 20-30 mins later they will need to go and yes they dnt like pee running down there legs... i had a very hard time with my twins but they jus turned 3 jan 4th and there all potty trained took me bout 6 months but its worth the wait!!! Believe me.... and the #1 thing is DO NOT RUSH THEM... If you do there not gonna wanna go especially if u keep throwing all these different kinda things at them... take ur time and let them go when they need to!!!!! hope it all works out for you sweetie!!! Good Luck!!!

Rose - posted on 02/06/2011

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Let you son walk around with ONLY underwear, no pants. Most kids don't like the feeling on pee running down their legs and being wet. All 3 of my kids were trained this way....unfortunately it caused anxiety for me because I was afraid they would pee on the couch, carpet, etc...and it will happen, but if you do it every day, they will get trained.

Every time they have an accident, bring them to the bathroom to clean them up and explain that sitting on the toilet is where they should be going to the bathroom. I would bring their baby potty into every room they were in...if they were in the living room watching TV, the potty would be right next to the couch....and after a few days, they would actually use it. After about 1 week, it should work.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/16/2011

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Sounds like my son. So, here's how you go about it. He's figured out the "fun" part...the rewards. Well, now, the ONLY reward is wearing big boy pants and not baby diapers any more. Give him NO choice. I realize this will mean some extra laundry, but it'll only take about a week. Once he realizes that he will not only be expected to use the toilet, he will also be expected to rinse his accidents out of his underwear, he'll come around.

My son really played us. I was working, had no choice. He'd go for us at night, but not for our caregiver during the day. She called me up and said she'd asked him why, and he told her "that's what diapers are for". She asked if I'd mind if we went "extreme". I said "let's go for it", and that night I explained what was wrong, and what HE was going to do to fix it. It took a week, but he is now a 13 year old and never looked back once he got out of diapers.

Regina - posted on 02/08/2011

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I just took my son with me into the restroom every time I went. I didn't pressure him and just one day he wanted to go. He turns 3 on the 21st of this month. I didn't do any snacks or candy when he went but instead I reward him by telling him how proud I am of him and give him lots of hugs and kisses and hi-fives. He's clean now during the day but still in pull-ups during the night. I'm sure he will be clean soon enough though. With my niece who is 3 I've tried this and it doesn't work. Every kid is different, you're going to have to find what suits him better. For her, I was setting a timer every 20 minutes to take her. She has yet to go. So now I'm disregarding my sister's rules and am starting to follow my own. Except with her, she reacts better with actual snack rewards. She finally went pee in the potty for the first time yesterday. So this works for her. With my son I tried fruit loops in the toilet to see if he would want to target practice. I tried the small potty and the ring. He just likes to sit on the regular toilet and go. Good luck. Be patient and never lose your temper with your son if he doesn't go. This will only delay the process.

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EILEEN - posted on 03/03/2011

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If you want your child to start useing the Potty ,you have to start them at a very early age around 8 months or so ,its no good leaving it till start going to Nursery or Play groups .most young mums just say they do not have the time that just nonsence ,you wanted Children to start with you just have to put up with all the other items involed at looking after them the right way .or do you want your child to carry on making more work by letting him fill his Nappy or what ever you call them . from Eileen West Yorkshire .

Rhonda - posted on 02/26/2011

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At first my son was like that, i let him walk around naked just to see what he would do. He didnt like being wet, he did go to the potty. U can try that.

Sharonda - posted on 02/22/2011

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My son was not trained until 4 but I had to go cold turkey to get him to go. It's a lot of work but I refused to send him to school untrained so I took a week off from work and did an intensive training. I also got some assistance from Kennedy Krieger Institute who were very supportive and gave exceptional feedback. In summary rewards, praise positive practice and getting rid of all the diapers were the key. My son is autistic so I designed a picture.schedule with the help of Kennedy Krieger and he caught on within a couple of weeks. He never has any accidents except for occasional bowel movements. Getting him to poop in the pot another story. Good luck!

Linda - posted on 02/20/2011

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This story is kind of similar to mine except my son was just over 4 when the diapers stopped. He showed signs but never really wanted to go. He kept asking me for new diapers. Finally one day I told him that if he was old enough to ask for a diaper he was old enough to not need them, and he has been in underwear ever since.

Marie - posted on 02/19/2011

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hi heather, i'm sort of in the same boat, my son is also 3yr 3mths, i use a sticker book, he loves it when he gets a sticker, my son refuses to use the potty but he will use the toilet with a toilet seat only for a pee-pee though, he's just learning to tell me if he needs the other,but were getting there - i bought a book on line called the potty trainer, some of the info's helpfull- what it does say is children are never ready for potty training, the've been going potty in there nappies for three years and it's up to us to get them out of the habbit of the nappy and learn them a new habbit of using the potty/toilet, and you will get angry at times but just go to a happy place and don't show your child your mad in any way because this will set them back, and when they do go potty make a big fuss. hope this helps.

Carolyn - posted on 02/19/2011

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I think you have started too late with you're training. I start putting kids on the potty at 9mo or at the least 1yr old. I also do not believe on the potty chair. I'm not cleaning a small potty when the toilet is right there. If you get them familiar with it at an early age. It becomes routine & normal to sit. I use the seat that goes on any regular or handicap toilet. If they don't sit on a regular toilet they are not ready to train. Even though they have the concept of what is supposed to happen does not mean they are ready yet. It takes mental as well as physical capability. That is why I start sitting them so young. When a baby 9, 10, 11 months old starts waking up from a nap & is dry. I sit them on the potty, you know they are going to need to go. Why wait till they wet the diaper then change them? Also when they start to push for a BM, I say oh it's time to potty & take them immediately. Even though they stop as soon as they get on, it's ok. Just give them time & patients. If your 3 yr old won't sit, ask them to at least do their business, while they are in the bathroom, then change them. No child should be forced to sit, stay or go to the bathroom. I am sure most of you have learned that they are in control of their bodies. They hold it, let it out when they are comfortable to do so. So your job is to make them comfortable when it's time to go. Just as in any other situation every child is different. But, they do understand just need to be re assured that it is ok. Think back have they had a bad experience, maybe not at home but some where else. Like a public bathroom, I had a girl once who wouldn't use public restrooms at all. So she adjusted her bathroom uses so that she was always done with that at her house. When she got older, she learned she could line the toilet and be safe. She was afraid she would catch something someone else had? It was just a fear & she learned how to overcome it. It just took time & understanding what it was she was afraid of. Some times when you wait for a child to ask it may already be afraid. First thing is to talk to your baby every time you change them. Tell them "you have a wet/dirty diaper. This way they know what you are doing & people don't stay dirty/wet in diapers. It may sound weird to some, but children do understand before they are actually able to say it to you. You will at age 3 have to be more persistent & encourage with hugs & more hugs. You know already candy reward & stickers are not working. They just have to be ready, some times those rewards do work. A good conversation & books can help.Remembering every child is different & should be treated as such. Strong encouragement & confidence that everything will be ok, nothing will hurt them or come out of the toilet and grab them. Flushing and letting them see it long before you put something in it is also a good thing. That way they know nothing happens until they pull that handle. Kids are smart you just need to be patient & get his routine down. Best of luck hope things start happening for him. Best thoughts are with you.

Arti - posted on 02/18/2011

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I am in the same boat,he wants to go pee in the big potty,but refuses to sit for the big business.

Bambi - posted on 02/17/2011

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Heather, we went through the same thing with our son when he was 3. I remember calling my husband at work and crying because I literally thought I was going to follow my kid to college with a diaper bag. But we backed off a little, and kept putting him in underpants, but I also put him in plastic training pants (Gerber makes them). He HATED the plastic pants, and I firmly explained that he had to keep wearing them until he learned to use the potty like a big boy. Not the most positive approach, I know, but I was about to lose it. Anyway, it worked.

Denise - posted on 02/17/2011

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O my gosh-stop using rewards for this altogether!! At this point you are in a battle of wills now and you've got to wait it out. Keep reinforcing regular bathroom trips but don't force him to sit or stand near the pot. Talk about the bathroom breaks (for yourself AND him) very matter of fact in a way that lets him understand you expect he will use the potty very soon just like you (and dad, and other loved ones). Meanwhile use less gadgets, charts, and fancy pots and don't get worked up about it. Remember to be consistent about your visits and your talk--he'll come around soon enough. I bought a potty for my 18 month old boy and it sat (unused) in the bathroom until he was 3 mos shy if his third birthday! It wasn't unil he was 2 1/2 that I started being really consistent with my own advice and it eventually worked!

Andrea - posted on 02/17/2011

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I have a son that just turned 3 and he is finally using the potty. He was showing interest on and off for about a year. He was very stubborn and resistant about going potty. I took him to the store and let him pick out sticker for his potty chart and an activity he would like to do while going potty and big boy underpants. I would set a timer and we would run to the potty for bubble time. He would sit for 20 minutes or sometimes longer and blow bubbles. When he relaxed he would pee in the potty. He would get 1 sticker for pee in the potty and 2 stickers and a fruit snack for poo in the potty. I would suggest finding an activity your child enjoys doing,but limit it only to potty time. When he has accident I make him clean it up and take all soiled laundry the laundry and then would take him to the potty and remind him that we go pee in the potty. I tried to make it as time comsuming as possible when he had an accident. The first week was very time consuming,but he is doing verywell. we are on week 2 of being diaper free. He doesn't like wearing a diaper anymore, my husband put one on him before bed and he had a melt down and took itoff. It is a challenge that I am sure you and your son will get through.Be consistent and patient and remember that eventually we are all potty trained. Good Luck.

Funke - posted on 02/17/2011

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this might be a bit weird, i started potty training with all my kids quite early doh. like d 1st 2, my april baby goes on the potty in d mornings n nights for 5mins n theres a result always!---poo/wee. ever since he can sit on his own.... traditionally from where i come from we let them use potty b4 they re wise.. i mean b4 they can decide! and it pays off. at the age of 2yrs they go off 2 get the potty themselves when needed and i stop using nappy thru out d day but of course they uses nappy for the night. i hope my system works with others too.

Pamela - posted on 02/17/2011

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I started to teach my son to use the potty at the age of 6 months. The problem with us parents is that we want to teach our children when they are old. My son now does not want to use the potty but he now prefers using the big potty that we are all using. He can now get on the toilet basin on his own. To all parents try to teach your little to use the potty when they are six months especially every morning when they wake up, after a meal or a drink.

Monica - posted on 02/16/2011

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There is really no one size fits all answer once you have waited so long to potty train...the comment from England is spot on...switch to cloth for your next baby and start takimg them to the potty by 10 months...we started at bathtime when he's naked already, once he went 1 time and the potty chair sang to him hegot it. Now our 11 month old holds it in his diaper about 75% of the time & LOVES his potty chair! We go together first thing in the morning and throughout the day he crawls towards the bathroom or fusses until we take him. He loves to be dry now and already knows the potty is best! Try it on the next child and good luck!

Kelly - posted on 02/16/2011

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If he doesn't do it by Christmas try taking him to see Santa if he isn't afraid of him. (Have the Santa tell him that he needs his diapers for another little boy to use and that he is going to leave him big boy underwear with his favorite cartoon character on them). Have him place them under the Christmas tree. I did it with my son when he was about to turn 4 and it worked wonderfully!

Jennie - posted on 02/16/2011

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We let our 2.5-year-old run around naked from the waist down. When I could tell he was about to explode -- scooped him up and put him on the potty. He was like "No, I'm pooping!!!!!" but as soon as it came out, he laughed and was so relieved, and has been going in it ever since. Keep pumping him full of juice, prunes, oatmeal, etc., to keep his bowels moving and be sure you watch him when it's his usual time to go no. 2 and it will happen. Oh, and RELAX..... so important. Just make it seem like not a big deal.

Gabriela - posted on 02/16/2011

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Children are so different in their development. They are faster in some things and less in others. I wouldn't worry. Give him some more time and he will decide himself when he wants to use the potty. You will see, he will tell you when he has made up his mind. It just seems the more you force him, the less he wants. Let it happen when he is ready.

Samantha - posted on 02/16/2011

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Hi Heather. Hang in there. My boy just finnished potty training and he's 3 years 8 months. They decide when they are going to do it, you can only teach them, but if you push him, they usually regress. It's the most trying stage we've been through!

Candyce - posted on 02/16/2011

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Shawnn's on point. Once they realize that this is the way things are going to be, they're cool with it. Like all those psychobabble parenting books say, your kid's going to do what he can get away with, lol. If he's ready to be trained and simply doesn't do it, create new guidelines and stick to them. You're not going to be punished for an accident, but it's going to be a mite uncomfortable to walk around in a mess, then have to clean it up yourself. No kid wants to do that, so they learn.

Blessed Be

Victoria - posted on 02/16/2011

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When I was working as an Au Pair we toilet trained the 3 yr old boy. For about 3 months the only way to get him to wee was to let him go pee on a tree in the garden. But he asked us every time and only had 2 accidents with this method. We transitioned him over to the toilet slowly. Now pooping took a little more time. Usually if it was in the toilet it was an accident because he had to wee at the same time.
My 15 month old daughter has showed signs of wanting to use the big potty. But she's intimidated by how big the potty is. So we will be getting a little potty just for her to start thinking about and so she knows how it works. I'm expecting some regression on the potty training front when we have our second daughter in June.

Cheryl - posted on 02/16/2011

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i totally get this, my wee one was the same he is almost 3 and i was going crazy as all my friends were pushing me to get him trained, however when i decided that i would stop pushing and just leave him he started going himself, he still isnt fully trained, when in the house he only wears pj bottoms and he does his thing on his own in his own time, lately he has started asking for his nappy off in the morning and only wears one when we go out and at bed time, and his confidence is improving. I honestly think that kids are more than capabile to do all of these things on their own, all we need to do is too guide them and make sure that they do it in a way that is socailly acceptable, like leaving the potty next to the bathroon door and just letting them run free they eventually get that they are meant to be doing their busness in the potty rather than where ever they are standing! Good luck

Candyce - posted on 02/16/2011

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Something just occurred to me - is your son sitting or standing to pee? It might take a few messes to get it straight, but I've noticed little boys train faster if they can pee like Dad does. When I tried to get my son to sit to pee, he had no interest, but when he stood like Dad, he was so proud of himself, he'd run to the toilet without my asking if he had to go. Another thing is the potty you're using. Those little training toilets? Waste of money. I've had mine for three years and the only one who ever used it was my niece once. They're a hassle to clean, and if they make music, the kid won't connect the toy with the toilet, lol. My almost five year old STILL thinks the damn thing is a toy!

Blessed Be

Candyce - posted on 02/16/2011

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Let it alone for a while, then reintroduce the potty with no bribes (lol). My son didn't consistently use the potty until a few months before his fourth birthday, but once he was ready, he got it within a week - day and night! My nephew just got it too, and he's been four for a month. My younger brother wasn't fully trained until he was about four and a half... It helped with my son to be able to pee outside like the men, but that may not be feasible for everyone. Although it does keep the raccoons away.... Just don't stress it too much mama. Most healthy kids don't go to highschool in diapers, so it will eventually come.

Blessed Be

LeAnn - posted on 02/16/2011

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All I can say is that I know what you're going through. My son showed interest very early (17 months). I never pushed him, let him go at his own pace, encouraged him along the way, and now, at almost 5, can finally say with only a little hesitation that I think he's finally potty trained. He's been in regular underwear for 2 to 2 1/2 years. He just never cared that it felt & smelled gross to pee in his pants, even though every time he did it, he'd get a rash no matter how quickly I'd change him. He had poop accidents for longer than I expected, too, but thankfully not nearly as long as the pee accidents. My daughter was sooo much easier to potty train!

Mila - posted on 02/16/2011

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The most valuable thing my mom has told me about potty training is that in this country, we teach kids to pee in their pants for the first 3 years of life, and then all of a sudden you expect your kid to understand that its not ok? Help your kid understand that being wet is uncomfortable and the last thing they want to do is wet themselves, its cold and smelly! take the diapers/training pants off completely and have him wear regular underwear and pants, they get wet and messy, but your kid will learn! expect accidents but every time there is one, give him a stern look, take him to the potty and explain. Always reward (not with candy, maybe a hug, kiss or a book) when he goes in the potty. soon enough, he will get it. Good luck!

Melissa - posted on 02/16/2011

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I feel your pain. My son would pee, but not poop until he was 4 yrs old. Sometimes accidents would happen, and he's still in pull-ups at night. It's all about whether he's ready, it's as simple as that. I started my son early, and he wasn't, so it backfired on me. First what I'd do is watch & track the pattern of when he pees/poops so that you can bring him in a little before so that there is no 'waiting with no success' time. Then try to make a lil game like putting a piece of toilet paper in the bowl so that he can aim for it. (cheerios work too). Once he's got #1 with no problem, try for #2. That's the tough one. Patience is your friend. Don't reprimand if he has accidents, or make him feel bad because that'll cause a delay too. For rewards, we used 1 M&M for Pee, and 2 for Poop.

Stick with the positive reinforcement and it will happen, when he's ready.
Good luck!!

Claire - posted on 02/16/2011

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Hi, sorry not read all the replies so if this is a repeat apologies, have you tried going strait for the toilet? My son was toilet trained by 18 months and never used a potty. Maybe they find it odd that you are going to the toilet and they have to use a potty? I would suggest trying that its also adds a bit of excitement for them if they get to flush! Hope this helps.

Charmian - posted on 02/16/2011

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I feel your pain too, my DS was nearing three and absolutely refusing to sit on the potty let alone do anything in it! He had been wearing undies for about 6 months with no accidents, but would refuse to wee anywhere except in a nappy. He could hold on all day! When he was about to move to the 3yr room at kindy they asked me if he had started toilet training. I said he had worn undies for months but no success in adding on potty, or weekly anywhere for that matter! They were happy to try him in undies and encourage him to sit on toilet when others did. They were amazed that he held out the whole first day without a wee. By the second day he did a wee on the toilet and it was pretty much sorted from there. Seeing the other kids really helped, and the same thing happened with DD as well. All fun and games, don't lose heart, it will happen eventually! Be guided by him!

Jaime - posted on 02/15/2011

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my first girl was fully toilet trained by 18 mnths day night and going by herself never woke me in the night my 2nd girl is 2 next week and err she will stay dry in a nappy but will wet in undies so i have stoped buyn nappys and she undies it and we are having more dry then wet now so hopefully we will get some where

Elizabeth - posted on 02/15/2011

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First it isn't a reward if you give it to him and he didn't do anything. And if he won't go to the potty put back on the diaper. My daughter would rather go to the potty then wear the diaper. And if I gave her a reward for going to the potty that was the only time she got it, period.

Tina - posted on 02/15/2011

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all you can do is keep encouraging him he will do it when he's ready and he'll probably surprise you when he does. Also when they involed with other kids at kindy and things like that and they notice other kids going to the toilet he'll want to do. Encourage him to tell you when he needs to go to the toilet or if he's already filled his pants. So he's more aware of when he needs to go.

Nicole - posted on 02/15/2011

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I agree... If u dontbput pants or a diaper on him he will use the potty-- this will get him started. My son is 3 as of sunday & has even evolved to being night time potty trained!... No pants!

Kristin - posted on 02/15/2011

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My son was slow to bowel train. He was fine with urinating, but at 3 he was still not using the toilet when he needed to use his bowels. I spoke to my GP, who suggested he might have an anal fissure, and refered me to a paediatrician. The paediatrician did some tests and found that there was no anal fissure, but there was another medical problem. Once that was sorted, toilet training was completed seemingly at light speed. Your child could be a slow starter, but there MAY be a medical issue that needs fixing. It's worth checking. And if nothing is wrong medically, at least you will know, and can try all the other wondeful ideas suggested here.

Patricia - posted on 02/15/2011

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as goofy as this sounds, he will be potty trained when he wants to. Just be patient, no bribing, no pushing, but if there are consequenes, let them be there. If he wets his pants/diaper, then he can't go outside and play, and he has to change clothes and stay inside or what ever ramification you are ok with. What would the ramifications be if you pottied your pants? Change clothes, embarassment, etc. - same as him. Sometimes if you explain it from your perspective and what the consequences are for you, - they get it. However, It will still happen when they want to accomplish it.

Christine-Marie - posted on 02/15/2011

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So I see that many moms have posted a response to this Q but I am going to offer my 2 cents anyway. I am a mother of 1 trained boy and 1 in training. Routine really helped us. As soon as I would wake my son up (or rather he would wake me up!) I would put him straight onto the toilet. Every 2 hours (and an additional 20 minutes after meals even if it wasnt the 2 hour mark) I would put him on again. Yes wearing underwear not pull-ups. It will only take a couple days to see a pattern of when they go. I had a girl come to my home for daycare when I was working and she was informed and luckily very willing and supportive to stay on the routine. It took about a week for urine, and about a month for bowel movements (kids tend to have a more difficult time with bms as when you have a BM in a diaper you can still feel it, but when you release into the toilet its a feeling of empty that makes some children uncomfortable). When he would have an accident, I would put him straight on the pot and make him sit there (not as a discipline, but as an association) for a few extra minutes. When he did go on the toilet there was no rewards, and no large explosion of excitement but definately praise for a job well done.

The biggest part was, when you learn the 'pattern' of their bowels, you can alter your toileting schedule accordingly to make it successful for them. Soon enough it will become a habit for them to use the toilet and not a requirement that is being forced upon them.

Anyway, there is my input! I ope it helps and if not...good luck! Every child is different. The worst thing you can do is compare your child to anothers as this will only upset you.
Don't forget to remind yourself that you are doing a great job!

Audrey - posted on 02/15/2011

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let him experience pee soaking his pants and running down his legs. he will want to use the potty after a while.

Marla - posted on 02/15/2011

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We had this problem. I thought my son would never get it. I was ready to see the Dr to see if there was something wrong. He was always ahead in everything else... he was almost 3 1/2. We tried stickers, video, pirate potty's, m&m's, shaming him... reasoning with him, no preschool then no JK until he was trained. Telling him that toys with 3+ on it meant that he had to be 3 yrs plus(+) no diapers.. so no toy. Nothing worked.

I decided in Jan we would go cold turkey and just shampoo our carpet after it was all done. Turned out that I picked up a second hand spiderman clock but when I brought it home I realized it was just too advanced for my 3 yr old and put it away. He found it during the holidays was so excited and asked me about it. I told him that it wasn't for him. He asked if it was a big boy clock, a big boy with no diapers. I told him yes. He then decided that moment to take off his diaper and start trying. We have had a few accidents but he is now fully trained and is wearing underwear. He needed a certain incentive.

Unfortunately it is when THEY decide. My 18 mnth daughter started using the potty a month before my 3 yr old. She isn't totally potty trained yet but is on her way.

Hang in there it will happen... just not on your schedule.

Janice - posted on 02/15/2011

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Okay just have to say that I agree with many of the great helpful psts such as going straight to underwear and making it a game. However, many are also saying that some 3 year olds just aren't ready and thats not true. Potty training older children is very difficult but in many countries potty training starts at 1 and 90% of those children are trained by 18 mo. In the US we are told to wait till 2 and this causes problem for many families as you can see that so many have posted. Part of te problem is daycare as many do not have toilets available in the infant rooms. I am not blaming any one, I know "waiting till their ready" has been the norm and recommended but really its a load of crap! Start early and your child will be successful baring no actually developmental delays.
Anyways, at three kids are sooooo set in their ways and for many especially boys elimination anywhere but the diaper becomes scary. So to those who are trying at two & three be consistant, use underwear, and talk about it a lot and if you can make it a game that can help too.

Amy - posted on 02/15/2011

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Some people think I am disgusting, but I bought several simple potty chairs for my son (they look kind of like frogs and were cheap at walmart) I kept one in the bathroom and one in the living room and one in his room. And then I didn't put any kind of pants on him or socks or shoes when we were home and he got the hang of the pee part really quick. (This was when he was 2) The poop part he insisted on have a diaper to go for several months. Now we are working on getting rid of the potty chairs and just using the toilet (which works great for pee but he still uses the potty for poop) I also encouraged him to sit on the potty every time his dad or I went to the bathroom. He liked following us to the bathroom so it helped. Anyway it took a week or so for him to realize when he was going to need to go and get to the potty on time every time. Now he has plenty of time to deal with getting his pants down before using the potty.

Jen - posted on 02/15/2011

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Hi all... haven't read all the suggestions, so I hope I'm not repeating someone else. Our little boy wasn't interested until we started letting him pee outside on the "pee tree" while we were working in the yard. While we happened upon this by accident, he's been peeing in the potty or on his pee tree since he was 2 years old. Not only did he learn to pee standing up, he LOVED aiming to hit the tree, which quickly translated to peeing in the toilet. Was fun for him vs. something we kept pushing him to do. If that doesn't entice your, hang in there! All kids will learn to go potty on their own schedule sooner or later. Just try to make it fun for him - it'll be much easier on you too!! :-)

Carrie - posted on 02/15/2011

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He is old enough to understand. My son was 2.5 and he know what he was supposed to do and why but wouldn't. I had just had his sister who was 6weeks at this time and I had had enough. I told him he was a big boy, he understood the potty and there would be no more diapers during the day and literally took diapers away. He never had an accident and he was out of diapers at night time with in a month.

Jennifer - posted on 02/15/2011

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I had this same trouble with my son, I backed off of trying to train him and put on some old fashioned training pants with the plastic pants. He did not like them when they were wet. Every time he pottied in his pants I reinterated that he could go to the potty and keep dry pants, no pressure and no stress. Took about a week and he was using the potty.

Molly - posted on 02/15/2011

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I used M&Ms for pee and sugar free gum for the number 2's Gum is a huge treat at our house for my twin 3year old boys. Maybe try letting him pick his own treat at the store for making potty in his big boy potty. sometimes we would just sit and read me on the floor and they sat on their porgies just to get comfortable with them they also loved putting sticker on their potty chairs when they tried. good luck my two turned three in August and we are just down to overnights at night and they almost alway keep them dry, now for next step ;)

Cathy - posted on 02/15/2011

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My 3rd son was close to three when he was potty-trained. I tried at 2, a few months later and a few months after that. If it's too hard to train him then he's not ready. I waited until 2 1/2 with my other sons and it didn't take long at all. If you aren't working, let him be in a long shirt with no pants or diaper. As soon as I put anything on him he wouldn't use the potty. Sounds strange but it did work.

R - posted on 02/15/2011

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I potty trained my son when he was 2 1/2, so I don't know if age matters, but I started out rewarding him for just sitting on the potty. We also went and bought toys that were only to be played with while sitting on the potty. Peeing came much quicker than pooping. But like our pediatrician told me, he has never sat down to poop before it is not normal for him yet.

I would also make sure you aren't giving him the rewards if he isn't actually sitting on the potty, because then why would he ever need to sit on the potty to get the reward he wants.

Angi - posted on 02/15/2011

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I'm having the same trouble. My son turned 3 last week. He will go pee in the potty but usually it's when I take him...he will rarely tell me he needs to go. He pooped 1x in the potty & now I think he is scared to go again. I put him in regular underwear but when he needs to poop he crys to put a diaper back on....he will hold it for hours if I refuse...soon as the diaper is on w/in 30 minutes he has pooped! HELP!!!!

Anna - posted on 02/15/2011

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My girl who just turned 3 last week was the same. We struggled with her for months and months and had bought her 4 different little potties, bribed her with toys and candy and God knows what else, but finally just said ok, she's not ready and we stopped trying. We just let her be and didn't push or ask for her to use the potty.
Then one day she wanted to try, but said she wanted to go on the big potty, She was scared of the little potties. Got her a little seat for the toilet and she's been going ever since. A week after being dry during the day she said she was done with wearing diaper during the night as well.
I think you just have to wait till they are ready. You can't push such a thing.
I would suggest you leave the potty training for a couple of weeks and see what happens. I'm sure he'll come around :)
Good luck, I know how frustrating it is.
Anna

Holly - posted on 02/15/2011

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Because he's not ready! Boys tend to be later at the potty training. I've read many places not to rush them. If in the summer he still isn't trained have him run around outside in t-shirt and underwear and if he pees, he gets wet.

Diane - posted on 02/15/2011

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If you can find a copy of "Bear in the Big Blue House, Tutters learns to go", it is a tremendous help! My son trained himself in 1 day while watching this.

Michele - posted on 02/15/2011

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Read the book Potty Wise. It was quick and relatively easy. I trained my 2 year old within a month.

Brittany - posted on 02/15/2011

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I heard one time of a woman who made going potty a game for her son by putting a ping pong ball in the bowl and letting her son "shoot" the ping pong. Give it a try! The more you make it seem like a game the better. Good luck!

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