Why would someone go out of their way to make rude comments

?? - posted on 06/02/2009

Quoting SAMANTHA:

MY DAUGHTER DIED TWO YEARS AGO AT THREE MONTHS OF AGE FROM SUDDEN INFANT DEATH SYNDROME. I AM VERY INVOLVED WITH THE IOWA SIDS FOUNDATION. I SELL RAFFLE TICKETS EVERY YEAR AND HELP PLAN THE ANNUAL WALK. LAST YEAR WHEN MY MOM AND I WERE SELLING RAFFLE TICKETS AND A LADY ASKED ME WHY WE WERE SELLING THEM, I TOLD HER ABOUT MY DAUGHTER AND SHE SAID I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL MY DOG DIED LAST YEAR. I THOUGHT YOU ROTTEN A** HOW IS THAT THE SAME?

I really am not meaning to be disrespectful Samantha but I don't see what is rude about that comment. To some people their pets can mean more to them than children, especially if they don't have any children. Although it's definitely an exact feeling that you would feel losing your daughter - it is a parrallel to some people. I don't think she was being rude, I think she was merely trying to say she knows what it feels to lose someone you love.

Nadine - posted on 06/02/2009

i think the rudest comments have been about my weight from my first child, im a young mum of 21 and i accompanied my husband on a work function, they all knew we had a baby, granted she had just turned 1 but this woman that worked wit my husband, who knew me , said in front of everyone (about 30 work colleagues) that i must be looking forward to the birth of my second child... i calmly informed er that i was not in fact pregnant just fat, at this point she stood around and giggled with her friends and walked away, out of respect for my husband and his work, is the only reason she walked away still standing, i was furious!!, to top it off at the end of the night, one of her friends approached me saying "now are u sure ur not pregnant again" u are quite big" i merely asked her if she had a problem wit fat ppl? in which she laughed and walked away.
i have never been more disgusted in stupid ignorant ppl! i am now pregnant wit my second child and i am in no means going to justify my weight to anybody else, my body, my life, my husband loves me for me and i have 2 children that my body has created and nourished, unfortunately there are some seriously ignorant stupid ppl out there, who are simply just not worth it.......

Amie - posted on 06/02/2009

There are definitely a lot of people out there who think they are helping, but really seem rude. Things are said or done quite often to me, as I am 24 but look 18 and have a 4 month old. Sometimes when I am walking my dog with the stroller people won't move over on the sidewalk and make me go around them, which can be quite dangerous with cars going by. I can't say anything because most of the people in my neighbourhood don't understand English. Other times people will tell me he's not dressed warm enough, and then I second guess myself. But when I touch his hands they are warm, and most of the time he's actually sweating in his stroller. I often need to dress him lighter than myself and people assume it's negligent.

Dominique - posted on 06/02/2009

My daughter used to have the most horrible temper tantrums... sometimes I couldn't even get through the grocery store without having to leave my basket-full of groceries and just leave with her kicking and screaming. Sometimes she'd start one in line at the grocery store and I thought to myself, "I'm so close... I'm not leaving this time!"



Well, often the LOOKS people would give me would be enough to make me want to either cry or hide forever.

Kerrie - posted on 06/02/2009

i did not mean that children are a punishment in life. WHen i re-read the 'crime' comment it just doesn't sound right. what i meant was that we knew our responsibilities for our actions, and i would not change anything about my life.

sorry if i offended anyone!

Kerrie - posted on 06/02/2009

i am 27 and have 4 beautiful children. I was 19 when i was pregnant with my 1st. me and my partner had been together for 5 years. ( i know we were young, but you dont do the crime, if you are not prepared to do the time!) My doctor went away and i seen a locum at the surgery. i was 10 weeks,and she told me i was too young to have a child and i needed to consider the other options available to me, as i was not in a stable relationship?? (like she would know!) I had the flu at the time, sick with morning sickness, young and scared and left the doctors in tears that day. When i calmed down, i rang the surgery and explained what happened. the receptionist phoned my doctor who called me on her private cell and apoligized, and sacked the locum on the spot.

i was grateful for this and would love for that locum to see us now, still together 8 years and 4 kids later!

Hope - posted on 06/02/2009

Yes I do re consider unfortunately after the fact,and like I said maybe the guy thought the way I reacted to him..he likely thought geez whats up her a** as I likely came across as a snot to him.

Courtney - posted on 06/02/2009

i ahd a man have a go at me for not giving in to my childs tantrum he told me that i should give the child what it needed so he didnt have to see it i was furious and politely told him that he could shop elsewhere if he was uncomfortable. i also had an older lady make a comment about me breastfeeding in public even though i was completly covered and no one could see anything

Jaime - posted on 06/01/2009

I posted my previous comment without reading through the entire thread, as my computer only showed so many and I thought I had read them all...I have now seen a later post by you and it looks as though you have changed your mind about your initial reaction. Glad that you decided to take another approach to this guy's comment.

Jaime - posted on 06/01/2009

Why do you think that what the man said was rude? Maybe it was his attempt at being funny...did you consider this? I was not with you when this happened, so I cannot determine that you are over-reacting, but your instant reaction to give him a dirty look and assume that he was being an asshole, makes me think that you automatically assume that any sarcasm with regard to your child is an insult or a judgment. Perhaps you might consider next time laughing along with him instead of assuming he is judging you. People can be jerks and you can't control what they say, but you can control how you react to it.

SAMANTHA - posted on 06/01/2009

MY DAUGHTER DIED TWO YEARS AGO AT THREE MONTHS OF AGE FROM SUDDEN INFANT DEATH SYNDROME. I AM VERY INVOLVED WITH THE IOWA SIDS FOUNDATION. I SELL RAFFLE TICKETS EVERY YEAR AND HELP PLAN THE ANNUAL WALK. LAST YEAR WHEN MY MOM AND I WERE SELLING RAFFLE TICKETS AND A LADY ASKED ME WHY WE WERE SELLING THEM, I TOLD HER ABOUT MY DAUGHTER AND SHE SAID I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL MY DOG DIED LAST YEAR. I THOUGHT YOU ROTTEN A** HOW IS THAT THE SAME?

Peta - posted on 06/01/2009

i was 4 months pregnant and a friend of a friend asked "are you still with the father?" i was in shock.. who asks that?.. yes young people have babies and sometimes don't stay together but you don't ask that!

Ruth - posted on 06/01/2009

someone once told me right out of the blue boy she looks nothing like you are you sure shes your or maybe they switched her at birth... I wanted to strangle her;.... and one more someone said man you baby is so fat I've never seen such a fat baby I ran to the nearest bathroom and cried that hurt so bad.

Ruth - posted on 06/01/2009

Quoting Hope:

Why would someone go out of their way to make rude comments

Today I had my daughter in her umbrella stroller well strapped in and I was only carefully going down only a few steps. cause there is no ramp, but I was very careful..and some guy says Don't drop the baby..I just looked at him in a dirty look and ignored him and made a sarcastic chuckle like whatever..I tried not to let it bother me...but I just can't stand when someone makes rude comments.
Maybe he didn't know she was strapped in but still I found it rather ignorant. Whats the rudest comment anyone has ever said to you?

Heather - posted on 06/01/2009

I had my son on a wrist leash when he started walking and we were in the mall during the holiday season and some older gentleman said we belonged in San Fransico walking my son.... WOW! I wasn't about to lose my child and at the age he was and in a crowd id rather him be on that wrist lease being he wanted to walk and not be in the stroller. What is wrong with my child wanting to walk which is good for him and me being protective and safe... not like he had it around his neck!!!!

Hope - posted on 06/01/2009

Well as time passed on since that guy made that comment I had time to think about it.
that a few people had said he wasn't being that rude and maybe he was making a joke, but I guess like I said at the time I thought it was rude but maybe I was too quick to judge this guy maybe he is a nice guy, I might have took his comment the wrong way. I've heard worse comments than that. But thank you all for your comments though I appreciate it..It helped me to re think what I was getting offended over.

Joann - posted on 06/01/2009

I think people who make rude comments are very lonely people and they don't think before they speak. For some reason it makes them feel good to say something rude or they think they have that right to tell you their opinion but I just ignore people like that unless it is a veryyy nasty comment I guess depends on the situation.

Coral - posted on 06/01/2009

Answer: is that some people think being rude is funny, they need to look the word up i think. Reply: i once had a dark fella ask me "if i wanted to go halfs in a baby", but i didn't find it funny.

Emily - posted on 06/01/2009

I dont know, he didnt sound THAT rude to me. But then again I wasnt there to hear his tone of voice. I would have said something like "Yeah it'd be the 5th time today!" and walked away.

Mary - posted on 06/01/2009

I haven't had anyone other than the public health nurses be rude to me, thank goodness! But I must say that I think these public health nurses need to have some kind of course on how not to be assholes! When I was in the hospital after having Jayden I got a visit from one and she gave me milk coupons for free milk since I was trying to breastfeed but on my last night in the hospital ( I was there for three days and on the fourth day I went home) I switched to formula. (why I did id a whole different story, lol) But they told me to come switch the milk coupons for formula ones and when I went to do it the nurse went off at me. She said thing like "your hurting your baby" and "what is wrong with you?" I was so mad I started crying and then another nusre told me I was depressed becasue I started crying! I was just so mad! I already felt guilty about not being able to breast feed as it was and this woman pretty much made me feel like I was killing my baby....of course I cried! Then when we had to bring Jayden for his first needles I got that smae nurse! Jayden was starting to get a flat spot cause he refused to turn his head while he slept...we tried everything and nothing worked so we held him and gave him tummy time as often as we could to help counter it...but she went all crazy at me acusing me of not taking care of him properly! Need less to say right after Jayden's shots I thold the lady at the desk I never wanted to see that nurse again because she was rude and hurtful....I alo told them I didn't think that lady should even be a nurse. Since then I haven't seen her and every nurse I have seen as been really nice and very helpful.



Later I found out that same nurse who gave me such a hard time was involved with one of my cousins relatives (no relation to me) babies. I guess this baby was having problems eating and gaining weight and this nurse was going to the house every few days to check on the baby....well the family thought something larger was wrong and thought they should bring the baby to the hospital and the nurse kept telling them they were crazy and the baby was fine. Being a first time mom she listened to the nurse untill the baby got really bad and they went to the doctors and the doctor rushed the baby to the hospital right away...the poor baby was pretty bad off..... I can't understand why this woman is still a nurse at the clinic! everyone I have spoken to hates her and have made comment about her but nothing has been done.

Tammy - posted on 06/01/2009

When I was pregnant with my first child, the stupid comments began. It was just breathtaking how perfect strangers felt like they could walk up to me and SAY STUFF. When my oldest two were little I got "advice" every time I left the house. "That baby's too warm", "you need to put some clothes on that poor baby" (sometimes in the same day, same outfit), "You know if you cut her hair it will never grow long" or "Why don't you cut that girl's hair? It will grow back a lot thicker." Everyone is just as adamant about their own conflicting advice. After my 3rd was born and since then, I get almost NO comments. I wonder how much of it is how timid I used to be and how much of it was seeing me with just one or two tiny ones made them think I needed advice? The most effective thing I found to do was to look them straight in the eye and say in the most serious and sincere voice I could muster, "Wow. Thank you so much for that advice. That was really helpful." The old ladies would mostly blush and say, "Oh you are so welcome honey!" and they walked away feeling so useful and happy. The younger women would usually stop for a second and then say, "Uh yeah. I get it. Mind my own business." and laugh. Now that I have 4 kids, including a teen and a preteen, I guess people think I must have known enough to keep them alive this long, so I must not need their advice!

Sarah - posted on 06/01/2009

when my daughter was little, an old man said 'hello son!' to her. i kindly pointed out that she was a girl, (she was in a pink dress!!) and he said, 'but she has straight hair!! girls should have curly hair! you should curl else she'll grow up confused!!' i didn't quite know what to say that, so i just walked off!!
also it annoys me when it's a warm day, and my daughter has pulled her socks off for the millionth time, so i don't bother putting them back on and people say: 'what! no socks!!!!' like it's the crime of the century!!
ahhhh, that's better, rant over!! :)

Kala - posted on 06/01/2009

My son will be 6 months on Wed. and I haven't lost all of my baby weight yet. At my hubby's grandmother's funeral 2 weeks ago some lady said to me.."Are you pregnant again or are you still just fat from the first one?" I replied to her..." Still just fat but thanks for noticing!" and walked away. I've never wanted to punch an old lady until that happened.

Marnie - posted on 06/01/2009

people can be ferals and so many feel they have a right to express this to you. I have a million of these stories but some nice ones too..all you gotta do is say thank you and have a nice day and either way you get a smile or the little cockroaches scuttle away red faced:)

Hope - posted on 06/01/2009

Well in my opinion I think assuming things is rather ignorant. But I should learn to be more assertive..and maybe come up with some sarcastic commit.

Hope - posted on 06/01/2009

Quoting Desiree:

when i was pregnant alot of people commented on my weight. at 6 months a grew really fast.. not from over eating just the baby growing i stayed pretty much the same size after that. But people made comments like...oh are you having twins, two weeks left?, if you get any bigger we are going to need a wheelbarrol to get you in here(said by the pastor at church).
and another thing. I dont know how to drive so i have to ride the public bus. one day it was around 45 degrees outside but i needed to get something from the store. I had the baby dressed in two pairs of pants, two shirts, a jacket, two pairs of socks, a hat, shoes, three blankets covering him and one covering his car seat and this woman walks up and asks " are you sure hes warm enough". omg i think he was warmer than me!
and i love those people who ask you the sex of the baby but dont care to listen. this woman on the bus asked me is it a boy or a girl. I said hes a boy( he was wearing all blue, with blue blankets and he looks like a boy) and she goes" oh why dont you have ribbons in HER hair, you can make them out of lace and elastic". wtf

Yea I ride the public transit too, as I don't drive either..and I get some really weird comments from people. Some people are soo STUPID!!! plain and simple like you have your girl all dressed in pink and wearing a dress and they still ask for sex of the baby? NO I have a boy in pink for the shits and giggles...DUUUUUGH!! hahaha sheesh..shakes head.  And it was stupid for that lady to ask if your baby was warm enough sounds like you had your baby well dressed for the weather. "Again DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH can we say stupid???

Hope - posted on 06/01/2009

Quoting Desiree:

when i was pregnant alot of people commented on my weight. at 6 months a grew really fast.. not from over eating just the baby growing i stayed pretty much the same size after that. But people made comments like...oh are you having twins, two weeks left?, if you get any bigger we are going to need a wheelbarrol to get you in here(said by the pastor at church).
and another thing. I dont know how to drive so i have to ride the public bus. one day it was around 45 degrees outside but i needed to get something from the store. I had the baby dressed in two pairs of pants, two shirts, a jacket, two pairs of socks, a hat, shoes, three blankets covering him and one covering his car seat and this woman walks up and asks " are you sure hes warm enough". omg i think he was warmer than me!
and i love those people who ask you the sex of the baby but dont care to listen. this woman on the bus asked me is it a boy or a girl. I said hes a boy( he was wearing all blue, with blue blankets and he looks like a boy) and she goes" oh why dont you have ribbons in HER hair, you can make them out of lace and elastic". wtf

Yea I ride the public transit too, as I don't drive either..and I get some really weird comments from people. Some people are soo STUPID!!! plain and simple like you have your girl all dressed in pink and wearing a dress and they still ask for sex of the baby? NO I have a boy in pink for the shits and giggles...DUUUUUGH!! hahaha sheesh..shakes head.  And it was stupid for that lady to ask if your baby was warm enough sounds like you had your baby well dressed for the weather. "Again DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH can we say stupid???

Cathelijn - posted on 06/01/2009

Not the worse but it kind of upset me

When my daughter was 4 months we were in a restaurant and a man my parents knew was at an other table I walked passed with my daughter and my mum to go and change her, we went to say hello and the man said to me ow is this your baby and another one on the way already???? The whole table (of woman) just gasped and I just stopped breathing ok fine I might not be the skinniest person but I did not gain weight during my pregnancy I just had the dreaded belly....

Ow and I really hate people that say when your like 6 months pregnant they go you are so massive you must be due any day now! and if you say no I still have some time to go they say ow it must be twins!!!

Suzanne - posted on 06/01/2009

I hate rude comments but i find it best just 2 ignore them.

When I was pregnant wth my first child, I went and got fitted for a bra and explained i needed new bra because i was pregnant, the assistant just looked me up and down and said'oh i didnt realise you was pregnant' i just thought oh well i just look fat do i. I wouldn't mind but all the way through the pregnancy even though im not stick thin my stomach was alot bigger so it was quite clear.

I also look young for my age and we have sure start centre near us, comment i got wasnt rude but it annoyed me really as the woman just assumed and startling babbling on about teenage mum group, I had to stop her midway and say 'sorry think im bit too old for that, seen as im 25'. She just laughed and told me about something else.

Just find it annoying when people assume things,rather than speaking to you first.

Another little rant I have is I am working mum and I hate comments I get for this from stayathomes mums, for me personally I like having work to go to and I feel Amy being at nursery is helping her but there are few people I know who stay at home, they'll look at me and say oh i dont know if i'd be able to leave my child with someone else etc, I feel like saying sometimes, thats your choice this is mine and Amy isnt losing out as the hours my partner works, she spends time with him and when he at work, she has time with me, and has two days at nursery and we always have at least one day together.

I wouldn't mind but I would never put down someone elses choice and decisions for their children because at the end of the day there your children,so why do people think they can pass judgement on mine.

Just remembered one I had this morning, its really hot at moment where we live so as my daughter got ecsema i asked chemist for suncream that best for her, she very snootily said 'I personally wouldnt take a child of that age in the sun'. Just thought do i really look that bad a mum to leave her sunbathing at 17month old, I'm just looking out for my daughter when we need to go out in this weather.

Im telling you if I was a more confident person, people who make these comments wouldnt know whats hit them as they'd get told straight away but I never do.
Won't go any longer but just thought i'd add to this as I'm with you how it is so horrible for them to make comments especially if they're going to offer help.

Iona - posted on 06/01/2009

Hmmm, I think it was when i was B/F my girl when I was out for lunch in the local pub, one of the regulars (and old grumpy man!) looked at me and said "your breastfeeding in here? Surely thats not hygenic" - I was too shocked to even say anything, just burst into tears, my mum was ready for lamping the silly old bat! In the UK, companies and businesses can actually be fined for stopping breastfeeding! In one the museams in Glasgow, they actually have stickers all over the place saying "breastfeeding welcome" which is kinda nice!

Desiree - posted on 06/01/2009

when i was pregnant alot of people commented on my weight. at 6 months a grew really fast.. not from over eating just the baby growing i stayed pretty much the same size after that. But people made comments like...oh are you having twins, two weeks left?, if you get any bigger we are going to need a wheelbarrol to get you in here(said by the pastor at church).

and another thing. I dont know how to drive so i have to ride the public bus. one day it was around 45 degrees outside but i needed to get something from the store. I had the baby dressed in two pairs of pants, two shirts, a jacket, two pairs of socks, a hat, shoes, three blankets covering him and one covering his car seat and this woman walks up and asks " are you sure hes warm enough". omg i think he was warmer than me!

and i love those people who ask you the sex of the baby but dont care to listen. this woman on the bus asked me is it a boy or a girl. I said hes a boy( he was wearing all blue, with blue blankets and he looks like a boy) and she goes" oh why dont you have ribbons in HER hair, you can make them out of lace and elastic". wtf

Kimi - posted on 05/31/2009

Don't worry about the way you reacted. He still should have offered to help instead of just breaking your consentration. When I see someone struggling with a stroller I just help.

Kimi - posted on 05/31/2009

I just got married last September and l think it is super rude when people ask me if I'm pregnant. Why not just tell me you can see that I gained some weight? How rude can you be? I told people that asked me that to never ask me again and that I will tell them when I am if I'm ready to let people know. I suck in my belly now around my family and friends because I dread that question and I will always tell them no to make them uncomfortable even when I am pregnant because they need to learn. I already have a 3 year old step daughter so what's the rush? Just be exited about that instead of examining my figure every time you come in contact with me.

Hope - posted on 05/31/2009

Maybe he might have thought I was rude cause I gave him a dirty look and turned my head away.

Hope - posted on 05/31/2009

Well Maybe I might not have been paying much attention to his tone of voice maybe he could have been joking..but he said it with a straight face so I didn't know to take that as a joke or not. And plus I was very busy with my daughter and paying attention to what I was doing. Maybe possible I could be over reacting to his commit..but then I also shouldn't doubt myself either or explain myself, just at the time I thought it was rude. And I apparently look really young to people I am 31 and I get told I look 21..I guess I should take that as a compliment in some weird way. And maybe I could have said politely that I won;'t but could you kindly help me down the stairs then. At that moment in time I didn't know what to respond with cause I didn't expect that comment.

Michelle - posted on 05/31/2009

YOU HAVE TO READ THIS SUZANNE.... i have six kids, am due again shortly and heard an excellent reply to the don't you have a tv comment....yes, we do have one but what idiot prefers television to sex? shuts them up......lol! as for rude comments in general, one of my boys has aspergers and lost the plot in a massive big shopping centre a few months ago (we live in a small country town, so it was just one big overload for him). he cracked it, i had just about gotten him to the point where i could talk to him again and this old man stops, stands over him and says 'thats no way to behave in a shopping centre, young man' in a pretty mean voice.....needless to say it wound him up all over again so my son yelled back at this man 'well, you're f@#$en ugly'. now, ordinarily i would not condone that but if you are going to so blatantly disrespect someone, adult or child, you have to expect some backlash....it was then that i called out to all the onlookers if there was anyone there who thought they could do better and suddenly they were all busy looking at other things.....you would think that they'd either put up or shut up, but noooo....don't take it personally, hey!

Amanda - posted on 05/31/2009

Im not sure what tone this man said this in but I don't see anything wrong with what he said. Sounds like maybe he was just joking. But if he said it in a sarcastic tone then I would have done the same thing you did.

Suzanne - posted on 05/31/2009

i get alot of poeple saying things to me i have got used to it a bit now but its still hurt full they would say things like. when the next one going to drop and dont u have a tv or you have children for the child benifit, i dont think they understand how much there words can hurt and so what i love my kids, i might have 8 children, its nothing to do with them its up to me and my husband how many we have the important thing is that they are all looked after

?? - posted on 05/31/2009

Melissa you have 1000 times more will power than I do... I would have stopped feeding my child, gave them to my partner and punched the bitch the face. Not the best response I know - but that's exactly what I would have done. And if I were arrested or whatever I would have said it was self defense. People like that need a reality check.

Melissa - posted on 05/31/2009

When my first born was a few months old, we took her along for a luekemiea walk. It just so happened that she needed to eat as the walk began, so I walked along the stroller feeding her while my husband pushed. This B&*&% tells me that my baby is sleeping and I am going to choke her with the formula if I keep forcing it down her throat. I told her that if she had ever fed a young baby, then surely she would know that they feed with their eyes closed sometimes. She looked at her friend and said "that is why they take baby chimps from their mothers; they are always force-feeding them". If I had not been so shocked, I would have told her to F@@@-off, but I could not believe how rude she was. It still bothers me and it was 4 years ago. As mothers we are instinctively protective of our children and we get extremely defensive when someone questions that. That is what makes us good mommys :)

Alexis - posted on 05/31/2009

i hate when people make rude comments under their breath. i'm a young mom, i have two kids my daughter is 3 1/2 and my son is 7 weeks. when i went to visit my husband while he was in basic at fort benning, there was an older lady i'm guessing she was visiting her son but i was 5 months pregnant, i had swollen feet and ankles plus i was having alot of back pain with this pregnancy. my daughter was really exhausted and she wanted to be carried but i couldn't. the lady looked at me and rolled her eyes, i ignored her at first then she said why would u make a ur kid cry. thats why young people shouldnt have kids. she kind of said it under her breath and i was pissed. i looked her and i said what is so wrong with young moms and why the hell do u think i should give in to my daughter. i feel bad for ur kids because they must be spoiled as hell and not know what no was. my mom who was with me, said dont even worry about it. she's not worth it. i walked away and the lady said to the guy standing next to her, well she was just rude, what could be her problem. the only thing i could think was i'm the rude one.
i hate when older people see me with my kids and just give u that look like u dont know what ur doing. i don't think im perfect but i know im a good mom. im just curious how they know what kind of parent u are by just looking at u.
believe me hope i know what ur talking about and i'm right there with u about rude people.

Nancy - posted on 05/31/2009

OK, I admit it, my 'mom hood' is almost over -if it ever is ;-). The rudest comment I got was not about babies, it was about housekeeping. While in college I worked at a gas station. In those days, there was no self-serve in our state.

One man, trying to be funny as I scrubbed crusty mayflies from his windshield said, "If you wash dishes the way you wash windows, I'll never eat at your house!" Too shy to answer, I thought, 'If you are that rude when invited to someone's home, I'll never invite you!'

Jeanne - posted on 05/31/2009

Maybe the guys thought he was being helpful - we all know that certain people suffer from foot in mouth disease and they never learn so I wouldn't take it to personally. As for venting - it's better to do that than to keep it bottle up inside. I was at the park yesterday with my two children and I called out to my daughter who was running up ahead of me to get to the swings and asking her to slow down. (My daughter's name is Native American - you'll get why this is important as you read on). Once I got my kids settled on the swings and started pushing them - a father with three young kids and a baby in a stroller looked at his wife and told her in a very loud voice: "It's time to go, they've let them off the reservation again!". (The swings are about 15 yards from the bench they were sitting on). His wife looked mortified and they got up and left. He was saying stuff like: "Dirty Indians and asking why some men leave their squaws out alone as they were walking behind up to leave the park. His wife was going "Shhhh" to him but he kept on rambling so I answered back: "The proof that cro-magnon man existed ladies and gentlemen." Not my finest moment - granted - but don't trash talk about my and me kids heritage in front of us.

Chantel - posted on 05/31/2009

When I was about 5 months pregnant my lead hand at work said to me " so, do your boobs hurt yet?" Iwas completely shocked and didn't know what to say so I just walked away. I was so upset that I told a couple of my co workers who told me to report him. So I found my supervisor and told him about it and I was so embarrassed just to repeat it. Well my supervisor had a talk with him and then my lead hand wanted to talk to me to "apologize" but he wanted to talk to me alone which I refused. The supervisor stayed in the room and the apology was the worst one ever. He told me he didn't mean to offend me. It was just a joke and he didn't realize I was so sensitive!! Are you kidding me??!!! My boss made a comment about my BOOBS and I'm too sensitive??!!! Anyways the story got up to the new CEO and the lead hand was demoted and sent to a different department on a different shift.

Hope - posted on 05/31/2009

WHAT??? are you kidding me? when you don;t know someone that well how the heck are you suppose to know someone is joking with you, I certainly didn't think it was a joke. Like I said maybe he didn't see she was strapped in. But I WOULD NEVER EVER put my daughter at harm.And it was just the way it was said I can't describe it in words it just sounded rude to me. He didn't smile when he said it to know it was a joke, so therefore I didn't think he was funny or came across as a nice guy to me. I usually know what a nice person is.

Kimi - posted on 05/31/2009

Quoting Hope:

Why would someone go out of their way to make rude comments

Today I had my daughter in her umbrella stroller well strapped in and I was only carefully going down only a few steps. cause there is no ramp, but I was very careful..and some guy says Don't drop the baby..I just looked at him in a dirty look and ignored him and made a sarcastic chuckle like whatever..I tried not to let it bother me...but I just can't stand when someone makes rude comments.
Maybe he didn't know she was strapped in but still I found it rather ignorant. Whats the rudest comment anyone has ever said to you?

I'm sorry Hope... but I don't think it was rude of him to say that.  He probably just wanted to joke with you a bit and allready knew you were doing a fine job with her and if he was concerned than it would have been ignorant for him not to have said something.  I would have responded by saying, "I'm trying not to!  Do you think you could help me down the steps?".   He sounds like a nice guy to me.

Kimi - posted on 05/31/2009

Quoting Hope:

Why would someone go out of their way to make rude comments

Today I had my daughter in her umbrella stroller well strapped in and I was only carefully going down only a few steps. cause there is no ramp, but I was very careful..and some guy says Don't drop the baby..I just looked at him in a dirty look and ignored him and made a sarcastic chuckle like whatever..I tried not to let it bother me...but I just can't stand when someone makes rude comments.
Maybe he didn't know she was strapped in but still I found it rather ignorant. Whats the rudest comment anyone has ever said to you?

I'm sorry Hope... but I don't think it was rude of him to say that.  He probably just wanted to joke with you a bit and allready knew you were doing a fine job with her and if he was concerned than it would have been ignorant for him not to have said something.  I would have responded by saying, "I'm trying not to!  Do you think you could help me down the steps?".   He sounds like a nice guy to me.

Rachael - posted on 05/31/2009

I've put up with a lot of crap and rude comments from people. The absolute worst that takes the cake came from a co-worker, who was just a dick to begin with. When I was pregnant with my daughter I didn't really show until later in my pregnancy, but I still had a definite baby bump. This co-worker actually accused me of making up the entire pregnancy for attention. His reason? Because I wasn't huge and ALL pregnant women get "big and fat" (his words, not mine). So I needed to "stop begging for attention and making excuses for putting on a few pounds". This was even after my department threw me a baby shower and I had copies of the sonograms hung on our news bulletin. Even after bringing my daughter by the department office he still was in utter denial, "where'd you get the baby? Seriously, this charade has to stop." Thankfully our former department chair was present and heard the comment, this person was brought under review and then fired. Our chair's reason (besides harassment)? If a biologist cannot recognize a pregnancy or have a fundamental understanding of it, then they are in the WRONG field. Ha ha ha.

Hope - posted on 05/31/2009

I have to say I enjoyed your story about the rude comment things and I almost peed my pants laughing at most of them but was disgusted with the rude comments you got too. I liked the one part where you said a much bigger lady made a comment about your belly and you said its all baby..whats your excuse I loved that one. I think to some point depending on the situation sometimes you have to swear and make nasty comments right back to get your point across cause sometimes being just assertive doesn't always work with some people. My mom gives me the advice not to swear at your elders and respect them,,but I mean I say if they respect you you will respect them..I wonder people that are just plain ignorant maybe thats how they want to be treated...like CRAP!!!

?? - posted on 05/30/2009

Sorry it's long but I think you might get some amusement out of the stupid people I've met along the way :P



I've had some pretty rude comments said to me - in my town there is a very high rate of young girls that get pregnant on purpose so that they get money from the government and don't have to do anything and then they bitch that the father won't take care of them -- I'm not just saying that either or generalizing the young girls, this is very true. Anyways, I've NEVER been one to be shy to say anything back, anyone that knows me knows I'm a smartmouth who won't keep my mouth shut when someone says something to me (it also works with any other comments too - if you talk to me - I don't shut up, good bad in the middle, I will respond).



I look quite young for being 25 - my 18 yr old sister looks my age and I look younger than her, so I got quite a few nasty comments when I was starting to show. I had a few older women come up to me and actually say "Did you not think about what it means to have a baby?" I replied with "Yes, actually I have thought about it. For almost 10 years I've thought about being a mom and what it would mean to have a baby and now that I'm 25, in a stable relationship with a man who will be a wonderful father, WE decided it would be wonderful to have a baby together."



There was one lady who said "I hope the father has a good lawyer." I laughed and said "Shit! ME TOO! Who are we suing? I hope we get all their valubles! I hope he's not going after you though... I don't need any more junk."



I worked in the mall at a clothing store who's policy is NOT the customer is always right. And I was about 4 months along and I was showing pretty good. A bigger woman came in and looked at me and said "Aw you must be about 6 months! Congrats!" and I said "Thank you, I'm actually barely 4 months." And she looked at me in complete disgust and said "Oh. You should watch your weight then. You don't want a fat baby."

I said "Excuse me?"

She said "You look quite... large... for only 4 months, you should watch your diet, maybe you're putting on more weight than you need to be."

I said "I am pregnant. I am throwing up everytime I eat because of this pregnancy and this is ALL baby. There is no FAT on this tummy. So what the F*CK is your excuse? That is ALL fat and there is NO baby!"

She was completely shocked - her face just dropped and she said she wanted to talk to the manager, I said I was the co-manager, she said she wanted the other managers number, I said "that's fine, you can talk to her all you like, but she will tell you to leave the store until you can be polite to the staff that works here and you're not welcome back until that day comes." She left absolutely pissed.



Another one that still makes me laugh - I still see this lady every once and awhile and have a personal lil laugh at her everytime I see her. I did smoke while I was pregnant, I had just gotten a very emotional phone call from my mom at work about my neice who was just born and had to have heart surgery, so I was stressing out to the max and needed that smoke to calm down. This lady came up to me and basically yelled in my face "THAT CIGARETTE WILL KILL YOUR BABY." So I put the cigarette down and I yelled in her face "DON'T WORRY THE BOTTLE OF VODKA I WILL DRINK WHEN I GET HOME WILL EVEN IT ALL OUT!" There were 3 other people sitting outside with me - 2 of them didn't smoke and I worked around all of them so they all knew me somewhat and 1 of them had to run to the bathroom from laughing so hard she thought she was going to pee her pants.



The "professionals" throughout my pregnancy and after my son was born said some pretty rude things as well.



My first doctor insulted my partner in our first visit. He's younger - 20 years old. She asked me what job I had - I told her. She asked him what job he had - he said "I'm working at a sawmill for the next 2 weeks." and she said "You better realize you will need a job after 2 weeks to be able to support a baby." He looked like he'd be slapped in the face and I said "You better realize that comments like that can get your put in front of a review panel." She gave me the look of death. When I went to make the next appointment I asked to have an appointment with a professional doctor and requested to never see her again.



While I was in labor, the nurse told me I had to wait for the doctor cause she was in an appointment. I found out afterwards that the person the doctor was in an appointment with was one of my friends.



At the 2 week appointment where the health nurse comes to your house and checks baby out to make sure they're growing and to see if mom has questions etc the health nurse came into my apartment, lectured me for about 15-20 minutes about how you have to be very careful with a small dog (I have a chihuahua/shih-tzu), that they are very protective, get jealous very easy and I have to make sure that she feels that she is getting attention too or she could lash out at the baby.... and then she kicked my dog out of the way to get to her carrying case. I was appauled. I said "How dare you kick my dog. How dare you come into HER home, lecture me about HER, and then KICK HER OUT OF THE WAY. I suggest for the remainder of this visit, you keep your MOUTH shut, do what you HAVE to do, weigh my child, measure my child and get the F*CK out. You are not welcome back, ever." She didn't say another word except lil words to my son as she was weighing and measuring him and then she left.



At my sons first immunizations we met another health nurse and her first question to me was "You give him a lot of SUPERVISED tummy time right?" As if she assumed I left him alone when he was on his tummy.



I have tons more but those are the rudest ones off the top of my head. Don't be afraid to speak up. I have to learn to pick and choose my battles better, but I sure the hell am not afraid to tell someone off.