working mom and sensation of guilty

Amanda - posted on 09/04/2009

I work also and my baby goes to daycare. I hate every minute of it. My husband lost his job and finally got a temporary job so I have to work. It is up to me to take care of the family. I spend as much time with my baby as I can when I get home from work and I don't worry about house work or anything like that. After she goes to bed then I do house work. Unfortunately, we do what we have to do to support our family.

Sharon - posted on 09/03/2009

1. Stop feeling guilty.



2. Spend what time you have with him, WITH HIM.



3. Stop feeling guilty and ENJOY LIFE!

Genava - posted on 09/03/2009

Quoting Laura :

working mom and sensation of guilty

I AM A WORKING MOM FROM 9.45 TO 5PM, AND EVERYDAY, WITH NO EXCEPTION, I FEEL GUILTY WHEN A LEAVE NICO IN THE KINDERGARDEN FOR BABIES. DO YOU ALL FEEL THE SAME? WHAT SHOULD I DO?

(SORRY, MY ENGLISH ISN´T GOOD ENOUGH) LAURA, FROM ARGENTINA.

Laura,

I am all too familiar with being a working mom.  I am unfortunate to have children of my own, nine years ago I became guardian to my four year old niece.  I was a Branch Manager for a well known financial institution. My hours were from 8 to 8, 12 hour days.  Just because the back closed at 5/6 did not mean that I went home at that time. 

Just recieving my niece and she was only four, I felt guilty because I was never there for her.  So, I quit my job of several years to take a night time position.  I worked at our local hospital as a Nurse Aid from 7 to 7, still 12 our days but I was able to be there for her in the afternoon/day time and I only worked 3/4 days a week.  She did go to a daycare for a couple of hours, but this was to prepare to mingle with other children before going ot pre-school.  I do not regret one bit in quitting my job to take care of my niece. 

You are in a position were you have to work, so do not quit your job to find another one (stay strong with the job you have).  Do not feel guilty for having to give your child a good life by working to pay the bills and making sure there is enough food on the table to eat.  Depending on the age of "NICO", he may not remember this.  Just make sure you spend the time you have off with him.  My niece is 13 years old now, we have a good relationship.  I was working 8 hour days 6 days a week, plus getting my Master's Degree while she was in fifth grade.  Every moment I had available we did something special together and you no what, she remembers the special times than the times I had to work or attend school. 

She is older and in to her own life, I am accomplishing my Doctorates Degree.  She looks at my working and education as something she would like to achieve when she get out of high school.  You are paving the road for better learning for your son, so do not feel guilty in working to support you and him for a better life.  Single moms have to endure so much in life with their children, cherish each moment that you have available and continue to work to provide for your family.  I have always said to myself, "guilt is part of the mind game of the devil, trying to bring you down  when you are doing so well."

God knows what you have to do, he will take care of you and your son.  Put your head up and stay strong.  Try getting a degree in something you would like to do, take classes online.  Maybe this degree will eleminate working 7 days a week and only work 5 days with the weekend off. 

"The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration her life will be." Horace Bushnell. Today, if you have free time to give to "NICO" play a game with him.  Each day do something special with "NICO", tomorrow watch his favorite television cartoon with him.  Do see what I am getting at, he will cherish those special moments.

Genava

Charity - posted on 09/01/2009

We all say time is precious and time is money and it is both. Which one comes first? I spent the first 2 months with my son and then returned to working 3 jobs at 70-80 hrs a week. When I wasn't working a double shift I would come home from my 830-7 job and crash for the night with my son and do it all over again the next day. I nurse my son so that was our bonding time when I got home. Even though we were usually sleeping, we were next to each other and I was providing him with something NO ONE else could. I eventually was able to go back down to very part time hrs, but I had to do what was needed for my family at the time. I missed him very much and missed A LOT of his 'firsts' but I just remind myself when I get down about it that we wouldn't have the roof over our heads and the beds we sleep in if we didn't sacrifice some things. You sound very devoted to your son and I am sure he never doubts the love you have for him! Like Amy said, just encourage yourself when you get down.

Amy - posted on 09/01/2009

I am a working mom, I went back to work when my son was only 6weeks old. I still feel guilty, but only because my husbands and I have conflicting shifts. I don't really see my husband till the weekend and I usually only get about 1-2hrs a day with my son during the week. I didn't feel bad at all when I got to work a normal shift for 2 weeks, it was lovely.

Anyways, you have to do whats best for your child. If you need to work to help provide for your family, then you ARE doing what is best (you may need to remind yourself, and do some encouraging) I know that right now my working is providing the best of everything for my children.

I hope you feel better soon!