would u smack another mums child

Charlie - posted on 09/14/2009

Quoting Lisa:

Quoting Jaime:

Quoting Debbie:

Quoting Jaime:

Quoting Debbie:

Just because someone believes in spanking does not mean they should be free to use that form of discipline on someone elses child. For the mere fact of the controversy about it. Everyone is different. I do believe in spanking. Only if needed. I tell you I rarely need to because my children mind me well because of the discipline I use. I am not saying that I spank every time something is done. This is where wisdom comes in. I think every situation should be evaluated and decided upon as to what method of discipline should be used in that situation. I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally. But in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt. I have found it to help. Anyway I realize that is not the question. I feel it is each parents decision on how they want their child to be disciplined. So because of the difference in this decision I will not take it upon myself to spank someone elses child. Now if it were a close friend or family member and they left me incharge of the child and gave permission for me to spank if needed and the child really needed it, Yes I would. I would first try timeout and warn them and if they continued to be unruly I would pop their behind. I would never beat a child. Now concerning others spanking my child, first of all I wouldn't have someone that I didn't trust whole heartedly to be incharge over my child. Being a friend or family member I would and have given permission to pop their behind if they needed it. I have never had this as a problem though. They are well behaved.
Let me conclude with, it is each persons own business on how they discipline their own child. As long as it is not abuse. I have seen that most people who do just timeout have problem children. The children have no consequence for their actions. Sitting out is not I feel enough sometimes. It even states in the Bible that to spare the rod you spoil the child. So I feel as long as it is used right and at the right time and not in anger it is ok to use spanking as a method of discipline.

First, can we leave the f@#king bible out of this discussion for crap sake!  The bible is not a resource on child rearing...I promise!

Second, you stated that  "I am not saying that I spank every time something is done.  This is where wisdom comes in. I think every situation should be evaluated and decided upon as to what method of discipline should be used in that situation. I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally.  But in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt."....with that being said,

 Lets talk about the OBVIOUS contradiction to the statement:  "I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally. BUT in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt"......HOW THE (insert swear word here) DO YOU KNOW THAT???  What is 'such a way' to spank a child so as not to emotionally hurt them?  How do you know for certain that each time you spank your child you are not chipping away at their emotional core?  Also you say "This is where wisdom comes in"...funny you say that and then you ramble on about not spanking your child every time something is done.  Well in what circumstance do you save a spanking for?  When your child has done something to really piss you off, so that you are angry, enraged and ready to kick some ass?  The fact that you most likely reserve spankings for the behaviours you deem to be the most defiant, means that you have premeditated the spanking punishment and you are aware that what your child has done has made you angry enough to inflict physical force on them in order to "teach" them that what they did was wrong....there is something a bit wonky about this mind set.  If you KNOW that your child has a streak of defiance, then why not try some good old fashioned 'communication' to find out what keeps them in a constant cycle of destructive behaviour?  Communication is not the only key component of successful discipline.  Kids need to learn problem solving, control, emotional limits (so that they know what triggers an outburst of anger or defiance) and above all--RESPECT.

I agree that it is each person's choice about how to approach discipline with regard to their children...but the key word is discipline and spanking is NOT discipline.

You have totally taken every thing I said out of context! I have not contradicted myself. You need to NOT refer to the Bible in that way either! Even if I have been wrong in how I discipline my children it is not right the things you said here. This is not a place to argue and to be rude about how you believe and disagree with someone.

 

And last...the bible is not a valid resource for this discussion, so trying to justify that 'the bible says so" as a means of gaining credibility for your viewpoint, falls short.  Pulling a quote from the bible to try and strengthen your conviction about spanking is silly, because the bible is and always will be open to interpretation.

 

 

What really amuses me, Jaime, is that people actually think they're quoting the Bible when they use the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child" which is actually a line from the poem Hubris, by Samuel Butler, on the subject of domestic discipline!!

Yes exactly Lisa !!

Charlie - posted on 09/14/2009

Quoting Lisa:

Quoting Jaime:

Quoting Debbie:

Quoting Jaime:

Quoting Debbie:

Just because someone believes in spanking does not mean they should be free to use that form of discipline on someone elses child. For the mere fact of the controversy about it. Everyone is different. I do believe in spanking. Only if needed. I tell you I rarely need to because my children mind me well because of the discipline I use. I am not saying that I spank every time something is done. This is where wisdom comes in. I think every situation should be evaluated and decided upon as to what method of discipline should be used in that situation. I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally. But in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt. I have found it to help. Anyway I realize that is not the question. I feel it is each parents decision on how they want their child to be disciplined. So because of the difference in this decision I will not take it upon myself to spank someone elses child. Now if it were a close friend or family member and they left me incharge of the child and gave permission for me to spank if needed and the child really needed it, Yes I would. I would first try timeout and warn them and if they continued to be unruly I would pop their behind. I would never beat a child. Now concerning others spanking my child, first of all I wouldn't have someone that I didn't trust whole heartedly to be incharge over my child. Being a friend or family member I would and have given permission to pop their behind if they needed it. I have never had this as a problem though. They are well behaved.
Let me conclude with, it is each persons own business on how they discipline their own child. As long as it is not abuse. I have seen that most people who do just timeout have problem children. The children have no consequence for their actions. Sitting out is not I feel enough sometimes. It even states in the Bible that to spare the rod you spoil the child. So I feel as long as it is used right and at the right time and not in anger it is ok to use spanking as a method of discipline.

First, can we leave the f@#king bible out of this discussion for crap sake!  The bible is not a resource on child rearing...I promise!

Second, you stated that  "I am not saying that I spank every time something is done.  This is where wisdom comes in. I think every situation should be evaluated and decided upon as to what method of discipline should be used in that situation. I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally.  But in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt."....with that being said,

 Lets talk about the OBVIOUS contradiction to the statement:  "I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally. BUT in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt"......HOW THE (insert swear word here) DO YOU KNOW THAT???  What is 'such a way' to spank a child so as not to emotionally hurt them?  How do you know for certain that each time you spank your child you are not chipping away at their emotional core?  Also you say "This is where wisdom comes in"...funny you say that and then you ramble on about not spanking your child every time something is done.  Well in what circumstance do you save a spanking for?  When your child has done something to really piss you off, so that you are angry, enraged and ready to kick some ass?  The fact that you most likely reserve spankings for the behaviours you deem to be the most defiant, means that you have premeditated the spanking punishment and you are aware that what your child has done has made you angry enough to inflict physical force on them in order to "teach" them that what they did was wrong....there is something a bit wonky about this mind set.  If you KNOW that your child has a streak of defiance, then why not try some good old fashioned 'communication' to find out what keeps them in a constant cycle of destructive behaviour?  Communication is not the only key component of successful discipline.  Kids need to learn problem solving, control, emotional limits (so that they know what triggers an outburst of anger or defiance) and above all--RESPECT.

I agree that it is each person's choice about how to approach discipline with regard to their children...but the key word is discipline and spanking is NOT discipline.

You have totally taken every thing I said out of context! I have not contradicted myself. You need to NOT refer to the Bible in that way either! Even if I have been wrong in how I discipline my children it is not right the things you said here. This is not a place to argue and to be rude about how you believe and disagree with someone.

 

And last...the bible is not a valid resource for this discussion, so trying to justify that 'the bible says so" as a means of gaining credibility for your viewpoint, falls short.  Pulling a quote from the bible to try and strengthen your conviction about spanking is silly, because the bible is and always will be open to interpretation.

 

 

What really amuses me, Jaime, is that people actually think they're quoting the Bible when they use the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child" which is actually a line from the poem Hubris, by Samuel Butler, on the subject of domestic discipline!!

Yes exactly Lisa !!

Minnie - posted on 09/14/2009

Quoting Jaime:

Quoting Debbie:

Quoting Jaime:

Quoting Debbie:

Just because someone believes in spanking does not mean they should be free to use that form of discipline on someone elses child. For the mere fact of the controversy about it. Everyone is different. I do believe in spanking. Only if needed. I tell you I rarely need to because my children mind me well because of the discipline I use. I am not saying that I spank every time something is done. This is where wisdom comes in. I think every situation should be evaluated and decided upon as to what method of discipline should be used in that situation. I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally. But in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt. I have found it to help. Anyway I realize that is not the question. I feel it is each parents decision on how they want their child to be disciplined. So because of the difference in this decision I will not take it upon myself to spank someone elses child. Now if it were a close friend or family member and they left me incharge of the child and gave permission for me to spank if needed and the child really needed it, Yes I would. I would first try timeout and warn them and if they continued to be unruly I would pop their behind. I would never beat a child. Now concerning others spanking my child, first of all I wouldn't have someone that I didn't trust whole heartedly to be incharge over my child. Being a friend or family member I would and have given permission to pop their behind if they needed it. I have never had this as a problem though. They are well behaved.
Let me conclude with, it is each persons own business on how they discipline their own child. As long as it is not abuse. I have seen that most people who do just timeout have problem children. The children have no consequence for their actions. Sitting out is not I feel enough sometimes. It even states in the Bible that to spare the rod you spoil the child. So I feel as long as it is used right and at the right time and not in anger it is ok to use spanking as a method of discipline.

First, can we leave the f@#king bible out of this discussion for crap sake!  The bible is not a resource on child rearing...I promise!

Second, you stated that  "I am not saying that I spank every time something is done.  This is where wisdom comes in. I think every situation should be evaluated and decided upon as to what method of discipline should be used in that situation. I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally.  But in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt."....with that being said,

 Lets talk about the OBVIOUS contradiction to the statement:  "I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally. BUT in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt"......HOW THE (insert swear word here) DO YOU KNOW THAT???  What is 'such a way' to spank a child so as not to emotionally hurt them?  How do you know for certain that each time you spank your child you are not chipping away at their emotional core?  Also you say "This is where wisdom comes in"...funny you say that and then you ramble on about not spanking your child every time something is done.  Well in what circumstance do you save a spanking for?  When your child has done something to really piss you off, so that you are angry, enraged and ready to kick some ass?  The fact that you most likely reserve spankings for the behaviours you deem to be the most defiant, means that you have premeditated the spanking punishment and you are aware that what your child has done has made you angry enough to inflict physical force on them in order to "teach" them that what they did was wrong....there is something a bit wonky about this mind set.  If you KNOW that your child has a streak of defiance, then why not try some good old fashioned 'communication' to find out what keeps them in a constant cycle of destructive behaviour?  Communication is not the only key component of successful discipline.  Kids need to learn problem solving, control, emotional limits (so that they know what triggers an outburst of anger or defiance) and above all--RESPECT.

I agree that it is each person's choice about how to approach discipline with regard to their children...but the key word is discipline and spanking is NOT discipline.

You have totally taken every thing I said out of context! I have not contradicted myself. You need to NOT refer to the Bible in that way either! Even if I have been wrong in how I discipline my children it is not right the things you said here. This is not a place to argue and to be rude about how you believe and disagree with someone.

 

And last...the bible is not a valid resource for this discussion, so trying to justify that 'the bible says so" as a means of gaining credibility for your viewpoint, falls short.  Pulling a quote from the bible to try and strengthen your conviction about spanking is silly, because the bible is and always will be open to interpretation.

 

What really amuses me, Jaime, is that people actually think they're quoting the Bible when they use the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child" which is actually a line from the poem Hubris, by Samuel Butler, on the subject of domestic discipline!!

Jennifer - posted on 09/13/2009

NEVER... However I would scold them or correct them and my stepping in and enforcing rules on someone else's child depends on the situations. But I'd never spank another persons child (I would do a time out type punishment again depends on the situation.)

Jennifer - posted on 09/13/2009

NEVER... However I would scold them or correct them and my stepping in and enforcing rules on someone else's child depends on the situations. But I'd never spank another persons child (I would do a time out type punishment again depends on the situation.)

Jaime - posted on 09/13/2009

Quoting Debbie:

Quoting Jaime:

Quoting Debbie:

Just because someone believes in spanking does not mean they should be free to use that form of discipline on someone elses child. For the mere fact of the controversy about it. Everyone is different. I do believe in spanking. Only if needed. I tell you I rarely need to because my children mind me well because of the discipline I use. I am not saying that I spank every time something is done. This is where wisdom comes in. I think every situation should be evaluated and decided upon as to what method of discipline should be used in that situation. I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally. But in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt. I have found it to help. Anyway I realize that is not the question. I feel it is each parents decision on how they want their child to be disciplined. So because of the difference in this decision I will not take it upon myself to spank someone elses child. Now if it were a close friend or family member and they left me incharge of the child and gave permission for me to spank if needed and the child really needed it, Yes I would. I would first try timeout and warn them and if they continued to be unruly I would pop their behind. I would never beat a child. Now concerning others spanking my child, first of all I wouldn't have someone that I didn't trust whole heartedly to be incharge over my child. Being a friend or family member I would and have given permission to pop their behind if they needed it. I have never had this as a problem though. They are well behaved.
Let me conclude with, it is each persons own business on how they discipline their own child. As long as it is not abuse. I have seen that most people who do just timeout have problem children. The children have no consequence for their actions. Sitting out is not I feel enough sometimes. It even states in the Bible that to spare the rod you spoil the child. So I feel as long as it is used right and at the right time and not in anger it is ok to use spanking as a method of discipline.

First, can we leave the f@#king bible out of this discussion for crap sake!  The bible is not a resource on child rearing...I promise!

Second, you stated that  "I am not saying that I spank every time something is done.  This is where wisdom comes in. I think every situation should be evaluated and decided upon as to what method of discipline should be used in that situation. I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally.  But in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt."....with that being said,

 Lets talk about the OBVIOUS contradiction to the statement:  "I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally. BUT in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt"......HOW THE (insert swear word here) DO YOU KNOW THAT???  What is 'such a way' to spank a child so as not to emotionally hurt them?  How do you know for certain that each time you spank your child you are not chipping away at their emotional core?  Also you say "This is where wisdom comes in"...funny you say that and then you ramble on about not spanking your child every time something is done.  Well in what circumstance do you save a spanking for?  When your child has done something to really piss you off, so that you are angry, enraged and ready to kick some ass?  The fact that you most likely reserve spankings for the behaviours you deem to be the most defiant, means that you have premeditated the spanking punishment and you are aware that what your child has done has made you angry enough to inflict physical force on them in order to "teach" them that what they did was wrong....there is something a bit wonky about this mind set.  If you KNOW that your child has a streak of defiance, then why not try some good old fashioned 'communication' to find out what keeps them in a constant cycle of destructive behaviour?  Communication is not the only key component of successful discipline.  Kids need to learn problem solving, control, emotional limits (so that they know what triggers an outburst of anger or defiance) and above all--RESPECT.

I agree that it is each person's choice about how to approach discipline with regard to their children...but the key word is discipline and spanking is NOT discipline.

You have totally taken every thing I said out of context! I have not contradicted myself. You need to NOT refer to the Bible in that way either! Even if I have been wrong in how I discipline my children it is not right the things you said here. This is not a place to argue and to be rude about how you believe and disagree with someone.

 

Yep, you definitely contradicted yourself...if you re-read what I wrote you will see where I have pulled out your quote and then pointed out the contradiciton you made.

Also, I have made no mention of 'right' or 'wrong' in my comment because this discussion is not a pissing contest about who is the better parent.  I have not slandered you in any way, I have--perhaps a little condescendingly--questioned your mind-set with regard to spanking as a result of the contradiction that I found.  I merely pointed out that you cannot possibly know for certain if a child that is spanked is hurt.  Whether the pain be mental, physical or emotional has no bearing on the consequence of the deconstruction of a child's self confidence as fear replaces their understanding of discipline.  Children are not born knowing limits and boundaries, as these facets of communication are often societally driven.  It makes sense then, that a child will test his parents to secure an understanding of what behaviour results in good consequences and what behaviour results in bad consequences.  Having strong communication lines with children, as well as patience and an overall goal to help a child succeed in learning the importance of discipline (meaning for the most part self-control) and the social tools to help ease conflict or reduce stress in a given situation--these are EFFECTIVE teaching strategies.  Spanking a child will only teach them, when they eventually become parents, that "I was spanked when I was a kid and I turned out fine", so the cycle will continue on and on and on.  And the cycle won't be continuing because of its effectiveness--Nope!, it will continue because people cling to the notion that spanking "really works" and "gets the point across".  If spanking really worked, then my guess is that there would be much less controversy about it!

And last...the bible is not a valid resource for this discussion, so trying to justify that 'the bible says so" as a means of gaining credibility for your viewpoint, falls short.  Pulling a quote from the bible to try and strengthen your conviction about spanking is silly, because the bible is and always will be open to interpretation.

Tamika - posted on 09/13/2009

Quoting Donna:

NO WAY. You should not be smacking your own child. People who hit their kids do so because they don't know how to parent their children. It's the same with people who swear. Their vocabulary is so limited they don't know the right words to use.

Thoes are some pretty strong opinions to have about parents you dont know. Just because I choose to spank my child, when the warning, and time out did not work does not make me a bad parent. Both my boys(8 and 2) are so well beahaved in public that all my co workers want to babysit and take them places. Yes, when they are home they can get a little out of hand at times, but I would rather my kids act a fool at home then in public. Just because you dont spank your kids, that does not make you a better parent than I. Oh and I swear also, and Im sorry to disappoint you but my verbal score on the SAT was a 740.

Shayna - posted on 09/13/2009

Hi Clare. I would never use physical discipline on another person's child. I have a problem with that. If someone ever put their hands on my daughter, there would be a serious problem. I have known some people that will discipline other people's kids and not their own. Discipline is not just physical, sometimes you can talk to your kid or use another form of discipline. I don't smack my own child, but I will pop her on the leg or hand is she gets too out of control.

Tamika - posted on 09/13/2009

I would never smack some elses child, even if in my care. Thats not my child to smack.

Angelique - posted on 09/13/2009

No I would not smack another person Child. If in my care I would put in time out but I wouldn't put my hands on someone else's child

Debbie - posted on 09/13/2009

Quoting Jaime:

Quoting Debbie:

Just because someone believes in spanking does not mean they should be free to use that form of discipline on someone elses child. For the mere fact of the controversy about it. Everyone is different. I do believe in spanking. Only if needed. I tell you I rarely need to because my children mind me well because of the discipline I use. I am not saying that I spank every time something is done. This is where wisdom comes in. I think every situation should be evaluated and decided upon as to what method of discipline should be used in that situation. I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally. But in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt. I have found it to help. Anyway I realize that is not the question. I feel it is each parents decision on how they want their child to be disciplined. So because of the difference in this decision I will not take it upon myself to spank someone elses child. Now if it were a close friend or family member and they left me incharge of the child and gave permission for me to spank if needed and the child really needed it, Yes I would. I would first try timeout and warn them and if they continued to be unruly I would pop their behind. I would never beat a child. Now concerning others spanking my child, first of all I wouldn't have someone that I didn't trust whole heartedly to be incharge over my child. Being a friend or family member I would and have given permission to pop their behind if they needed it. I have never had this as a problem though. They are well behaved.
Let me conclude with, it is each persons own business on how they discipline their own child. As long as it is not abuse. I have seen that most people who do just timeout have problem children. The children have no consequence for their actions. Sitting out is not I feel enough sometimes. It even states in the Bible that to spare the rod you spoil the child. So I feel as long as it is used right and at the right time and not in anger it is ok to use spanking as a method of discipline.

First, can we leave the f@#king bible out of this discussion for crap sake!  The bible is not a resource on child rearing...I promise!

Second, you stated that  "I am not saying that I spank every time something is done.  This is where wisdom comes in. I think every situation should be evaluated and decided upon as to what method of discipline should be used in that situation. I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally.  But in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt."....with that being said,

 Lets talk about the OBVIOUS contradiction to the statement:  "I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally. BUT in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt"......HOW THE (insert swear word here) DO YOU KNOW THAT???  What is 'such a way' to spank a child so as not to emotionally hurt them?  How do you know for certain that each time you spank your child you are not chipping away at their emotional core?  Also you say "This is where wisdom comes in"...funny you say that and then you ramble on about not spanking your child every time something is done.  Well in what circumstance do you save a spanking for?  When your child has done something to really piss you off, so that you are angry, enraged and ready to kick some ass?  The fact that you most likely reserve spankings for the behaviours you deem to be the most defiant, means that you have premeditated the spanking punishment and you are aware that what your child has done has made you angry enough to inflict physical force on them in order to "teach" them that what they did was wrong....there is something a bit wonky about this mind set.  If you KNOW that your child has a streak of defiance, then why not try some good old fashioned 'communication' to find out what keeps them in a constant cycle of destructive behaviour?  Communication is not the only key component of successful discipline.  Kids need to learn problem solving, control, emotional limits (so that they know what triggers an outburst of anger or defiance) and above all--RESPECT.

I agree that it is each person's choice about how to approach discipline with regard to their children...but the key word is discipline and spanking is NOT discipline.

You have totally taken every thing I said out of context! I have not contradicted myself. You need to NOT refer to the Bible in that way either! Even if I have been wrong in how I discipline my children it is not right the things you said here. This is not a place to argue and to be rude about how you believe and disagree with someone.

Janice - posted on 09/13/2009

I would never, ever smack another child. I sparingly smack my own. I would however talk in language that let the other child know that their behavior was not acceptable and try to let them know an alternative action.

Margaret - posted on 09/13/2009

No I definately would not smack (spank) another persons child with or with out their mom. If the child was in my care with out the mom being there I would give the child a time out (depending on age and maturity of child) I would explain why the time out and then let the mom know what happened. I would watch that child again and if that child continued to misbehave then I would explain to the mom that I can no longer watch her child. If the mom is present I would let her discipline her child how she feels fit. It is not my place to tell another mom how to raise their child(ren). They are the ones who have to deal with them and their behavior when they get older. If they are too out of control I would distance myself and my child from her and her child.

Cindy - posted on 09/13/2009

No! I don't believe it is any ones right to spank a child except for the parents. I don't spank my children I even have a court order against my ex husband stating he is not allowed nor no one in his family to touch my children only because in past they would over do the spanking. I babysit a lot of kids and my rule is timeout if I can't control the child and parent don't help I will no long watch them plain and simple not going to put my self in position to get that upset. And let someone touch my child there will be hell to pay I'm glad that mother pressed charges against that man he deserved it. Believe it or not time out does work if u use it right. I do have one more thing to add if ur child is screaming in the store remove the child and tell them when they calm down we can go back in if not go home they will learn to behave in public. I have an autistic child and I had to do this many times and now he holds the cart with out any fits and stays with me the whole time and I never had to touch him. Thanks for letting me say my piece. Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Debora - posted on 09/13/2009

Yes, but only my closest friends kids. I expect the same from them. A smack on a child's hand is not abuse neither is spanking. I suppose since many people abuse the spanking thing many people frown on it. A spank is not meant to abuse children. Yesterday I had cause to give my friend's little girl a little smack. My friend was holding her and she just kept scratching me I tried telling her not to but she wouldn't stop, she thought it was funny. She also began to do the same thing to her sister, I smacked her and she cried for 2 seconds and stopped. I wasnt angry but she needed to desist from the behaviour. I told her again she must not scratch because it hurts I gave her a kiss and she was ok. I rarely smack my kids, I do so only when it reaches a point when i feel I cant get through to them and what they have done is really bad. They are 11 and 12. I always let them know why i beat them. Honestly though I hate beating. When the Bible speaks of sparing the rod and spoiling a child I know the Lord doesn't mean for us to abuse HIS kids. I suppose where you are from and how you are brought up determines how you view spanking. Punishment is not meant to feel good but to change a behaviour.

Jaime - posted on 09/13/2009

Quoting misty:

we were given asses to spank. inflicting pain to teach a lesson is a natural way to learn. watch animals, ALL ANIMALS with their babies. if their babies are doing something wrong or that can hurt themselves the mother growls, a warning, then nips them, causing a little pain. it means NO. i believe the downfall of our society began when parents began complaining about teachers spanking in school. if you, as a child, know if your are disrespectful, harming another, or just "being bad" in school and the consequences are getting paddled by a teacher, causing pain and humility, the child would think twice about their actions. it's a means of authority, not to be abused, but delivered with good intentions and care. the downfall began with stripping the teachers of this authority. now, what we have left with the past two generations, is disrepsectful, unmotivated, mouthy, inconsiderate, narcissistic kids. if they had known some pain and humiliation maybe this would have/could have been avoided. don't be a sissy. spank your kid but do it with good intentions and care, and don't be sorry.

"inflicting pain to teach a lesson is a natural way to learn.  watch animals"???  I have also seen animals pick up their young in their mouths and lick their assholes to clean themselves--can't say I've seen a human do that but I live in Canada so maybe I'm out of the loop.  So thanks for that chuckle...I am still laughing as I type this because now I have a ridiculous mental picture of what life would be like if we actually did take our cues from animals...one thing's for sure--everything would taste like shit!

Also, there has been no downfall of society...just to bring you up to speed.  All around the world there are plenty of functioning societies.  Granted they are all flawed and in need of some reform but I hardly think the answer is to go around and give everyone a good ol' beat down to inflict pain and humiliate them into behaving the way that the "powers that be" say they need to behave.  I believe we have 'rights and freedoms' for that very reason!....but again, I live in Canada so maybe in my remote part of the world I am just not as informed on world issues as you seem to be. 

"spank your kid but do it with good intentions and care"...WTF?  You do realize the blatant contradiction to your statement right?  No? Okay, let me point it out to you...

According to you a spanking is done to "inflict pain and humility" BUT it should be delievered with "good intentions and care"....hmmm, lets just break this down a bit more...spank = pain  BUT it should be done with care.  I don't know, I am still not getting it--crap, I wish Canada wasn't so behind on social standards because I really don't get how, if a spanking is done to inflict pain, it can be done with care also???  If I am inflicting pain on someone I don't exactly have the best intentions when doing so because all I am concerned with is causing them pain so that they can suffer and I can satisfy my 'id'. 

"don't be a sissy.  spank your kid"?  lol...oh man now I'm a coward if I don't beat my kids and humiliate them!

I will end my comment here and spare the insults because it will not be productive to this discussion.

Misty - posted on 09/13/2009

we were given asses to spank. inflicting pain to teach a lesson is a natural way to learn. watch animals, ALL ANIMALS with their babies. if their babies are doing something wrong or that can hurt themselves the mother growls, a warning, then nips them, causing a little pain. it means NO. i believe the downfall of our society began when parents began complaining about teachers spanking in school. if you, as a child, know if your are disrespectful, harming another, or just "being bad" in school and the consequences are getting paddled by a teacher, causing pain and humility, the child would think twice about their actions. it's a means of authority, not to be abused, but delivered with good intentions and care. the downfall began with stripping the teachers of this authority. now, what we have left with the past two generations, is disrepsectful, unmotivated, mouthy, inconsiderate, narcissistic kids. if they had known some pain and humiliation maybe this would have/could have been avoided. don't be a sissy. spank your kid but do it with good intentions and care, and don't be sorry.

Lynn - posted on 09/13/2009

Quoting nic:

now that i have gone back over your post,i get what your saying.firstly you need to use some commers and full stops.and secondly,what a stupid question to post!
i dont hit my kids,it breaks there spirt.i always mind my own business...unless the child is adused..( verble,physical,or sexual ) i would child services.
im not surprised u got the respone u did....maybe u need a hobby,to stop worring over whats not your problem.
ps.my puncturation is crap 2

Nic - ever heard this old expression "The pot calling the kettle black". Your comments are not helpful and kinda mean. This group is not about being critiqued on our grammer, but rather helping one another. If you didn't like the question why did you respond? Rhetorical question no reply needed.

Chelsea - posted on 09/13/2009

No. I wouldn't "smack" my own kids either. I try to teach my children and other children in my care by modeling the behavior that I want to see in them. Therefore, I don't hit them.

Jaime - posted on 09/12/2009

Quoting Debbie:

Just because someone believes in spanking does not mean they should be free to use that form of discipline on someone elses child. For the mere fact of the controversy about it. Everyone is different. I do believe in spanking. Only if needed. I tell you I rarely need to because my children mind me well because of the discipline I use. I am not saying that I spank every time something is done. This is where wisdom comes in. I think every situation should be evaluated and decided upon as to what method of discipline should be used in that situation. I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally. But in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt. I have found it to help. Anyway I realize that is not the question. I feel it is each parents decision on how they want their child to be disciplined. So because of the difference in this decision I will not take it upon myself to spank someone elses child. Now if it were a close friend or family member and they left me incharge of the child and gave permission for me to spank if needed and the child really needed it, Yes I would. I would first try timeout and warn them and if they continued to be unruly I would pop their behind. I would never beat a child. Now concerning others spanking my child, first of all I wouldn't have someone that I didn't trust whole heartedly to be incharge over my child. Being a friend or family member I would and have given permission to pop their behind if they needed it. I have never had this as a problem though. They are well behaved.
Let me conclude with, it is each persons own business on how they discipline their own child. As long as it is not abuse. I have seen that most people who do just timeout have problem children. The children have no consequence for their actions. Sitting out is not I feel enough sometimes. It even states in the Bible that to spare the rod you spoil the child. So I feel as long as it is used right and at the right time and not in anger it is ok to use spanking as a method of discipline.

First, can we leave the f@#king bible out of this discussion for crap sake!  The bible is not a resource on child rearing...I promise!

Second, you stated that  "I am not saying that I spank every time something is done.  This is where wisdom comes in. I think every situation should be evaluated and decided upon as to what method of discipline should be used in that situation. I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally.  But in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt."....with that being said,

 Lets talk about the OBVIOUS contradiction to the statement:  "I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally. BUT in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt"......HOW THE (insert swear word here) DO YOU KNOW THAT???  What is 'such a way' to spank a child so as not to emotionally hurt them?  How do you know for certain that each time you spank your child you are not chipping away at their emotional core?  Also you say "This is where wisdom comes in"...funny you say that and then you ramble on about not spanking your child every time something is done.  Well in what circumstance do you save a spanking for?  When your child has done something to really piss you off, so that you are angry, enraged and ready to kick some ass?  The fact that you most likely reserve spankings for the behaviours you deem to be the most defiant, means that you have premeditated the spanking punishment and you are aware that what your child has done has made you angry enough to inflict physical force on them in order to "teach" them that what they did was wrong....there is something a bit wonky about this mind set.  If you KNOW that your child has a streak of defiance, then why not try some good old fashioned 'communication' to find out what keeps them in a constant cycle of destructive behaviour?  Communication is not the only key component of successful discipline.  Kids need to learn problem solving, control, emotional limits (so that they know what triggers an outburst of anger or defiance) and above all--RESPECT.

I agree that it is each person's choice about how to approach discipline with regard to their children...but the key word is discipline and spanking is NOT discipline.

Debbie - posted on 09/12/2009

Just because someone believes in spanking does not mean they should be free to use that form of discipline on someone elses child. For the mere fact of the controversy about it. Everyone is different. I do believe in spanking. Only if needed. I tell you I rarely need to because my children mind me well because of the discipline I use. I am not saying that I spank every time something is done. This is where wisdom comes in. I think every situation should be evaluated and decided upon as to what method of discipline should be used in that situation. I am not condoning abuse or striking a child in such a way that hurts them emotionally. But in the right circumstance a good old fashion spanking on the behind does not hurt. I have found it to help. Anyway I realize that is not the question. I feel it is each parents decision on how they want their child to be disciplined. So because of the difference in this decision I will not take it upon myself to spank someone elses child. Now if it were a close friend or family member and they left me incharge of the child and gave permission for me to spank if needed and the child really needed it, Yes I would. I would first try timeout and warn them and if they continued to be unruly I would pop their behind. I would never beat a child. Now concerning others spanking my child, first of all I wouldn't have someone that I didn't trust whole heartedly to be incharge over my child. Being a friend or family member I would and have given permission to pop their behind if they needed it. I have never had this as a problem though. They are well behaved.

Let me conclude with, it is each persons own business on how they discipline their own child. As long as it is not abuse. I have seen that most people who do just timeout have problem children. The children have no consequence for their actions. Sitting out is not I feel enough sometimes. It even states in the Bible that to spare the rod you spoil the child. So I feel as long as it is used right and at the right time and not in anger it is ok to use spanking as a method of discipline.

Lisa - posted on 09/12/2009

heck to the no!! i dont smack my own children and would never consider doing it to any one else's (ok maybe i would consider it... but never follow through) kid.

Cheryl - posted on 09/12/2009

i am a mum to 4 beautiful boys. 2 of which are my step sons. i dont like the whole smacking thing, i dont think it works. that said i would never smack some body elses child. i have never smacked my step kids n never will. how ever, if some body was to raise a hand to any of my kids, they certainly would cop one back!!

Jaime - posted on 09/12/2009

Quoting carlisa:

now when it comes to my own child i would not use the word smack i like spank. now i spank my own kids because of the sitution, if i tell my child something over and over and i know that child understand what i have said and what i mean then it is what it is and a child that knowingly definant will get spanked. but someone else child i will not spank if i do not have that type of understanding with the parents. to me i think the parents will have to make the decission on that matter and then i'm still not comfortable with spanking someone else child because what i feel apporiated my not be apporate with there parents.

Just because a child is knowingly defiant doesn't warrant a spanking.  If you are knowingly defiant by speeding in a school zone and you get pulled over by a police officer, do you think the police officer should smack you because you knew better and you understood that speeding was wrong but you did it anyway?  Just something to think about...

Carlisa - posted on 09/12/2009

also i would like to say i don't like disrespectful kids and if my is disrespectful then yes i will spank my kids. but in the hood i stay in these kids are crazy and very disrespectful and some of them i would like to spank but i do think to each it's own if the method works for you ok. but real talk i think some spanking is and always will be needed (some spankings) now i feel that no one have the right to tell another mother how to raise there children.so to anyone who disagree with my method O WELL!!!!!

Carlisa - posted on 09/12/2009

now when it comes to my own child i would not use the word smack i like spank. now i spank my own kids because of the sitution, if i tell my child something over and over and i know that child understand what i have said and what i mean then it is what it is and a child that knowingly definant will get spanked. but someone else child i will not spank if i do not have that type of understanding with the parents. to me i think the parents will have to make the decission on that matter and then i'm still not comfortable with spanking someone else child because what i feel apporiated my not be apporate with there parents.

Nic - posted on 09/12/2009

now that i have gone back over your post,i get what your saying.firstly you need to use some commers and full stops.and secondly,what a stupid question to post!

i dont hit my kids,it breaks there spirt.i always mind my own business...unless the child is adused..( verble,physical,or sexual ) i would child services.

im not surprised u got the respone u did....maybe u need a hobby,to stop worring over whats not your problem.

ps.my puncturation is crap 2

Jenny - posted on 09/12/2009

you shouldnt smack your own child let alone some elses child.Theres never a need to smack a child and isnt an effective way to discipline your child,a person who smacks is someone who doesnt know better ways of discipline and needs parenting lessons or anger managment!

Lauren - posted on 09/12/2009

Absolutely not! That is not my place in that child's life to smack them. I have 4 step kids and would never lay a hand on them...I would punish them with time out. After the real parents arrived, I would then tell them what they did wrong and let them do the parental punishing, if need be.

Sharon - posted on 09/12/2009

I've put my nephew into time outs before when my sisinlaw couldn't do it. I wouldn't smack him though because that is not my place. Now if the behavoir warranted a smacking I'd tell his mother so she could deal with it her way or my mom, she's his caretaker during the day when mom is at work. I'd do the same thing wih another child in my care....time outs and tell the parents what has transpired via cell phone if it cannot wait. I'd want the same courtesy if my child was in someone else's care....now if they did happen to smack her I'd be preally pissed off.

Rachael - posted on 09/12/2009

I would never smack another parents child, that is not my place. Discipline them (time outs) yes, smack them no. Some parents don't using hitting ever as a form of punishment.

Kathy-Ann - posted on 09/12/2009

No! I wouldn't even though its a part of the caribbean culture I would never touch another person's child.

Rachel - posted on 09/12/2009

If I can't treat them like my own kid then I will not watch them!

Roselyn - posted on 09/11/2009

I grow up in a country where spanking is a natural thing to do for parents as a way to discipline their child. I spank my child but i wouldn't spank someone else's child even if she is in my care, I would only report his bad behavior to his mother and give her a piece of advice, spanking is not always the best option. I wouldn't like it either if somebody would spank my child. She'll get the best out of me! lolz

Kim - posted on 09/11/2009

No, NO, NOOOOOOO!!!! Children don't need to be smacked. There is no need for that form of punishment. I don't spank my own and have no reason to. He minds perfectly well by being treated like a human being.

Genene - posted on 09/11/2009

I do believe in spanking. I don't spank other peoples children tho. I have raised 4 children have 4 grandchildren. That is why you have little monsters running around, and why teachers can't do anything with the kids. Why you have juvenile deliquents etc.. etc... There is a difference between spanking and abusing.

Melissa - posted on 09/11/2009

Trust me, the head lines would not be that someone smacked my child...more like someone got the but beat down for touching my child!!!

Kim - posted on 09/11/2009

wow!! I would freak!!!!

Jaime - posted on 09/11/2009

Quoting Jane:

A smack on the bum has never and will never kill anyone...this does not amount to abuse.Sometimes putting them in the naughty corner does not work.

Your statement "A smack on the bum...this does not amount to abuse"...I just want to be the first one to tell you that you have absolutely NO proof that a smack on the bum will not amount to abuse!  Of course you can argue that I have NO proof that it will amount to abuse, but I have not made a bold assumption about the reaction of a child to a spanking.  And although every child will react differently to a spanking, it does not change that spanking is an abuse of power...and thus, it is an abuse of some sort, regardless of how it is viewed under a general consensus.

Jaime - posted on 09/11/2009

Quoting Jane:

A smack on the bum has never and will never kill anyone...this does not amount to abuse.Sometimes putting them in the naughty corner does not work.

Your statement "A smack on the bum...this does not amount to abuse"...I just want to be the first one to tell you that you have absolutely NO proof that a smack on the bum will not amount to abuse!  Of course you can argue that I have NO proof that it will amount to abuse, but I have not made a bold assumption about the reaction of a child to a spanking.  And although every child will react differently to a spanking, it does not change that spanking is an abuse of power...and thus, it is an abuse of some sort, regardless of how it is viewed under a general consensus.

Amy - posted on 09/11/2009

I do not think that people shoud go around spanking any and everyone's child. Yes, disipline is a personal choice. I have a VERY close friend of mine who, when her son was younger I did on a VERY rare happening spank him. This was something that the both of us had already spoken about. It was never when she was there to do it herself and it was the VERY last resort. I think it only happened like once or twice. I didn't like doing it, but he learned to repect me and loves me as a second mother to this day. It was a simple pop, nothing major. I think it depends on the situation and the people involved. But once again, I would NEVER walk up to someone I didn't know, or someone I just met. This was a very close friend of mine.

Eva - posted on 09/11/2009

The way to raise children into great loving and understanding adults is NOT by hitting them or INTIMIDATING them (naughty corner). It´s childabuse whatever way you look at it.

Jane - posted on 09/11/2009

Has anyone heard the adage that says...if you dont teach your child,the world will teach your child and not necessarilly in a tender way.

Jane - posted on 09/11/2009

A smack on the bum has never and will never kill anyone...this does not amount to abuse.Sometimes putting them in the naughty corner does not work.

Eva - posted on 09/11/2009

I would never smack my child or any other mothers child. Where I live it´s not allowed by law to hurt children in this way. And why would anyone want to smack children anyway? What is the purpose of that? If you have a friend that would do that to their own children I wouldn´t stay beeing a friend unless they changed their ways. In this case you have a huge responsability to see other childrens welfare as well as your own.

Desalie - posted on 09/11/2009

I had someone spank my child in their care, for something her own child had done.I didn't find out unitl sometime later.Suffice is to say...the friendship is KAPUT !

Jane - posted on 09/10/2009

I would smack another mums child if they were misbehaving.Where I come from the child belongs to the village...so its up to the society to bring the kids up in the right way if the concerned mother is not up to the job.

Iris - posted on 09/10/2009

No , I would not smack another mom's child unless she gave me permission. I babysit children and when they cause alot of problems, I put them in chair time facing the walls or if they are young i make them sit on the couch or on a chair in the kitchen until then can behave themselves.. And if I am with the parent and the child is acting up I will say something to the parent or I will speak up. And if she dont like it , then I will get up and walk away ...

Jaime - posted on 09/10/2009

Quoting tanya:

I also agree with you Jamie leigh but yeeks you are going to get some feed back now..lol..:-)

lol...that's usually how it works on COM.  I don't take anything personal.  I will admit that I am passionate about this particular subject because there is so much research and there are so many resources available that overpower the need to use physical force as a means of "getting one's point across".  I understand how these controversial topics get heated so quickly, because a lot of times people don't want to feel as though they are being branded for a particular belief or life style.  As well, many times I see the "you should not judge" statement thrown out over and over and over again, and this dramatic overuse has caused somewhat of a knee-jerk reaction to any slight aversion to one or more points of view that a majority might feel serve as the superior "thought" track for a particular discussion.  With that being said, I am always up for a good debate...

Susan - posted on 09/10/2009

i would never spank any1 elses child if i was watching them and they acted up then i would put them in timeout but i would not spank them. i will however spank my children depending on the situation. minor things they can go in timeout. and it also depends on their ages. timeout for my 11 year would make him laugh but for my 3 year old she'll get the point that she's in trouble and won't like it