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younger sibling copying bad behavior older sibling who is special needs

Kandi - posted on 07/12/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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my daughter is having issues with her 5 yea rold stepson copying the bad behavior of her 11 year old son with special needs, he is ocd, adhd, asbergers autisim, slight mr, her husband is worried about this but they dont know how to explain to the younger one how to stop doing this and that the older one is special but he is not. its causing problims between the parents, my daughter told me tonight that she feels like a failure as a mother to the youngest, his father is threatening to put him in daycare away from the older one, any words of advise will be so greatly appreciated.

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Cherish - posted on 07/12/2012

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How long has the 5yr old step son and 11yr old lived together?
Does she have friends w/special needs children?
What behaviors is he copying?Is the 11yr old high functioning?Can he control the behaviors?

If they have not lived together that long I would not worry about it.
They can try to "catch" the 5 yr old being good and give him positive reinforcement..They can also ask the 5 yr old to "help" them.For example tell the 5 yr old something like "When your brother gets mad and swears,can you help him think of a better word to say?",if it is a dangerous behavior then maybe the 5 yr old can be asked if he can get mom or dad(tattle) to help


If he is higher functioning the book"The explosive child" is very helpful at addressing behaviors in higher functioning children.

My oldest son is 19 and has Aspergers,ADD,type 1 diabetes,ODD and My youngest has classic autism(non-verbal),type 1 diabetes,MR,seizures,SIB...etc and he can be aggressive and has some dangerous behaviors...

If he is like my 19 yr old I think that book would be helpful,however if he is like my 10 year old and he can not speak,it would not be that helpful for her to read.

Krista - posted on 07/12/2012

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oh gosh i really wish i could help but im stumped on this one :( maybe tell her to go talk to the 11yr old childs councellor who helps him at school.. they are trained for that kind of thing and would probably have some good advice

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