Alicia - posted on 05/31/2010 ( 210 moms have responded )
I work 5 hours a day at a high-stress job, then come home to a high-stress household. I have 6 kids. I invest alot of time cleaning, diapering, bathing, feeding, rocking, breastfeeding, encouraging, driving the carpool, going to soccer-football-track-baseball practice, and giving goodnight kisses.
I love my jobs, both of them. I love taking care of my kids.
We live in a 7 bedroom house. All of my kids have their own bedrooms. They have an oversized den, a pool, a huge yard, and a gameroom, not to mention the living room, and the kitchen they have full access to.
My room is often reffered to by me as my "oasis".
A place I can go, lock the door, and close all the noise, disruptions and problems out.
(Let the record show my kids are not the dispruptions) haha
So, I tell my kids they have the entire house, but the only thing that is off limits to them is my bedroom. They are only allowed to go in there if they have permission, or if I am in there with the door open.
How exclusive do you try to make your bedroom?
PLEASE note, that I do NOT spend all my time locked away in my bedroom at home. I dont lock my door while I am sleeping, and I dont lock it all the time during the day. My kids just grew up not going in my room, because I've raised them that way. My kids are not toddlers anymore. Well, one of them is, but I feel like I can rely a bit on my older kids (17 & 14) to help with the younger ones, (9, 5, 2) I take care of my kids.
I do not neglect my children. I spend alot of time with them. We have movie night once a week, and I go to each and every one of their sports games. I do not leave them alone all the time.
I do not consider my kids a "Job." No, i love my kids. They are my world, and I lost two kids 2 years ago, and trust me, it was not like losing a job. It was like losing part of my world.
I don't lock out morning kisses and giggles. I am overjoyed when all 6 of my kids pile in for morning kisses. They all come in in the morning, and kiss me goodbye before they get picked up by the carpool. I then get up, get my 2 year old and my baby up, and get them ready to go to the sitters. I do not lock out nightmare scared children, although my kids rarely ever have nightmares, I have been awakened by a few of them at night scared, and I do hug and hold them, but they don't sleep with us. They eventually return to their beds.
Since I've raised my kids to not go in my room, my two year old son often requests to sleep in his bed, and doesnt like to co-sleep.
I've heard "You pay the mortgage, you get the room" as well as "You're selfish" all the way to "We go in their room without asking, why should they have to ask to go in ours?"
The answer to the first one is, Yes, I do pay the mortgage, I think I do deserve to have my room to myself, which leads me to the next question, I don't go in their room without asking. My 17 year old has his own room. The only time I go in there is to wake him up in the morning. He does his laundry, he cleans his room, he makes his bed. He's not 5 anymore. my 14 year old son shares a room with my 5 year old son. He actually volunteered to do that, and my 14 year old helps my 5 y/o with cleaning and bed-making and such. My 9 y/o has her own room, and cleans her own room, and takes care of her things. My 2 y/o and my newborn currently share, and yes, I do go in their room. I clean their room, and I dont feel as though I need to ask my two year old permission to go in his room. He loves it when I'm in his room anyways. But I'm not going to ask him permission, no. He doesnt even know how to spell his own name yet... And no, I'm not selfish. My kids get alot of time with me, and I do alot for them. Having my husband and I our own room is the equivelent to us going on date night once a week. We dont typically get a date night, so we have our own room. Theres nothing in my room for my kids, so they dont need to be in there.
Alot of lovely ladies were trying to tear and thrash away at my parenting style, saying we were not a close family if we have our room to ourselves. Thats my parenting style, and we are a VERY close family. Also, to the mom who said I didn't like kids, I love kids, and if I didn't, I wouldn't have six of them :)
Feel free to leave more comments, most of them are extremely helpful, this was just to those lovely mommas who were being a little...well... not nice. :)