Do mothers today feel it’s still important to raise their boys to be providers?

Denikka - posted on 12/09/2011

I intend to prepare my son (and daughter) for whatever role they choose. They should BOTH be capable of providing for their family, either working inside the home or outside of it.

Both my children will be learning the basics (at minimum) of cooking, cleaning and general house care. They'll be learning how to budget. They'll be learning the basics of vehicle care and repair (changing a tire, checking oil, etc).

They will both also be getting jobs in their teens to prepare them should they choose to be career oriented instead of home oriented.

They should both be prepared for whatever role the choose in life.



For my life, personally, I believe that the man (if he's capable) should be the bread winner. I'm very happy being a stay at home mom and would be pretty upset if I had to leave my children to go to work. That's what works for me and that's what's being demonstrated to my children, but I'll support whatever works for them :)

Sharlene - posted on 12/08/2011

Yes I feel like it would be my duty to teach my two sons morals and respect and everything that comes to it and when they meet the perfect young lady they will look after her and when they start a family

Melissa - posted on 05/20/2011

My oldest son is 21 and I raised him to first get an education and provide for himself so he can then be equiped to provide for another. I also have a 15 year old daughter and I am raising her the exact same way! She needs to be able to contribute to her family in this day and age. I also think that because I have had to live through one of the God forbid times in my life, that is the way I have chosen to teach my kids.. My first husband was killed when our son was only 3 years old and I was graduating from college in 30 days from the day he died with a degree in Respiratory Therapy, my second college degree. IF I had to start figuring out my life WHEN he died, I would have not been able to do it alone, we would have ended up on welfare due to the expense of school... Sadley and luckely I was able to provide for my child and marry again to have my beautiful 15 year old daughter...
I am also very close to my sons girlfriend and am teaching her that she has to have her own identity aside from his. He not only works full time but he is an avid musician and plays guitar in 2 successful bands that are branching away from our hometown. She was losing herself and was getting upset because she had no life. SO I guess it is important for me to teach my CHILDREN to provide. that's it, I guess

Erica - posted on 05/20/2011

Well coming from the future daughter-in-law point of veiw I would definitely say yes. You never know what kind of women your sons will end up marrying. Yes its possible that they will end up with a woman that loves working and being the main provider, but its also possible that they will fall for one of the pampered princess types and they will need to know how to best provide for their family because she might not know how. I myself happen to be this type, sad to say. I was raised in a family where my dad and my brothers did ALL of the providing. When I started dating I found out the hard way that most men these days are not interested in being the responsible provider of the home. I got lucky when I found my husband, who doesn't mind at all that I want to be a stay at home mom while he works and takes care of all the normal "man responsibilities". At best I'd say prepare them for it, but if they end up not needing to be the main provider then thats ok too. Its always a good idea for them to know how to provide for themselves anyway, I've meet some men in their 30s that still live at home because they don't know how to take care of themselves(parents never tought them) and they haven't met a woman that is interested in the job either. And I love that your talking about this already while their young, whatever you decide its best to get them in the going in the right direction at a young age.

Emily - posted on 01/20/2011

i fully believe that its really my sons decision. Before having a husband, I could do anything and everythign i needed to by myself. I know how to do the typical male things to do..like change oul in car, fix a leaky water pipe, fix the toliet. I believe that the man should be the bread winner, but I will gladly step in too, when needed. Yes i am a stay at home mommy, because my husband and I both agree for now its the best. We dont want other people raising our child. My husband wants to do the providing, like his father taught him, before he passed away. So my husband wants to do the same. He seen how his father was, and believes thats the right way to do it.. to be the primary bread winner.

Michelle - posted on 09/22/2010

As a mom who has been the provider ever since I had kids I have to tell you that yes, I am instilling in my son that he needs to get up off the couch and provide for his family. It's not to give him an "old school" mind frame by any means but my ex (thier dad) never worked, still dose not work. My guy is playing the stay at home dad role right now, not to say anything against it because he does a wonderful job and when he lost his job this was the best answer for us to quit paying daycare. There are just sooooooo many lazy guys out there right now that I refuse to raise one.

Kat - posted on 08/04/2010

I absolutely feel that it's important to teach boys to work hard and ultimately to be providers. Regardless of whether or not they have a family, they will have to one day provide for themselves. Teaching them family values, and family-centered morals and ethics can, in my view, only make boys (and ultimately men) stronger in the lives of their families, friends and communities. That being said, I feel that it's also important to explain the modernized role of the female in the household to little girls as they grow up. Absolutely make sure they are educated and that they can hold capable jobs and careers, but also teach them the value of family and what it means to provide for children as well as for a husband. I guess the important thing is to instill these basic nuclear family values in our children without excluding non-traditional families. I think, though, that teaching both boys and girls basic family values, morals, and ethics, as well as the value of a family, education, and what it means to be a provider for yourself and for others, will help them be accepting of all types of families, and will prepare them for the type of family or lifestyle that they choose to lead in the future, no matter what kind of lifestyle that may be.

Jessica - posted on 05/11/2010

i have 2 boys and i will be bringing them up as providers.. i am a stay at home mom n i will stay that way until they are both in school.. and i beleave staying home with you children and them seeing me take care of the house and my husband going out and providing for us will paly a huge roll in their up bringing.. i'm not saying if when they get older they choose to be a stay at home dad i would judge them b/c i wouldn't..

Dianne - posted on 04/29/2010

I have 3 son's. Two are adults and 1 is 15yrs. They all know how to look after their own needs in regards to cooking, cleaning, and laundry. I worked most of their childhood and am just now staying at home. I believe that being a stay-at-home parent is the important thing, not whether it is Mom. My husband has always been the more compassionate one, and I have needed to be out of the house. It is only in the last 3 years that I have been able to stay at home long-term and not be angry. I tried several times through the years.

Englann - posted on 03/28/2010

I just teach my son respect, honesty kindness and compassion. Being a good role model is what we count on to teach him to grow up to be a good man. We have a healthy marriage full of love, laughter, communication and we both always take on roles that would be considered unconventional: I help work on the cars, he helps wash the dishes. Whenever he comes home from school with 'girls can't ...' comments, I immediately tell him otherwise. I DO believe in treating a woman proper...opening doors, holding umbrellas, you know CHIVALRY?! But it all comes down to respect, my husband and I show him how we respect each other, and he will always have that in his heart and mind.

Kari - posted on 02/18/2010

I hope and strive to raise my son to respect himself, others, and more specifically, women. I want to raise him to respect both roles of a household, the working and the stay-at-home, whether those roles are traditional or reversed I don't feel it matters, as long as my son understands that both roles have hardships and benefits. I also hope that I can instill in him a healthy drive for independence and being able to take care of himself so that even before he has a family he will be prepared for the responsibility. If I have a daughter some day, I would hope to pass on those same values to her, as well.

Kymberlee - posted on 01/25/2010

I dont know if I am having a boy yet, the legs are crossed in my ultrasound but i think thebiggest lesson is to be self supporting in all aspects of life because the only person who you can really depend on is yourself before you can depend on others I think that it is perfectly fine to be a stay at home dad as long as both people in the relationship agree to it. I am a single mom and I think that there is nothing wrong with teaching your son about 'living life on the other side of the fence' I believe by them seeing that it is ok, will also build respect towards women who are at home. I see alot of women who stay at home and do that part of the parenting while their men come home and when the women need help the men think they do nothing at home. If that man was taught at a young age that the home life is just as hard as the work life he would be more than happy to help when its needed. I don't know if that's good reasoning but this is how I feel.

Sheila - posted on 01/06/2010

im the one who has to work out of the house, my husbands health keeps him home with our sons (3 and 5). However he would love to be the one working to take care of us, and i hope our sons too decide to be the providers for thier familys..but either way i'll support what works for them and thier family when the time comes

Caitlin - posted on 12/28/2009

My husband and I have an almost 5 month old son, and I am the one who stays home with him, while my husband works. I am currently attending school full time, but my husband is one who believes that he should be the one taking care of me and our son, and I shouldn't have to work unless I want to. Seeing that me working would pretty much pay for day care and that is it, and the fact that I am attending school full time, I am staying at home with our son. But my husband loves the fact that I am there to take care of our son, that I try to have dinner ready when he gets home, and he pretty much can come home and relax after a hard day at work, and take time to play with our son. We are going to teach our son that it doesn't matter who works, and who stays home, or even if both work, as long as you are happy as a family.

Karissa - posted on 12/25/2009

I have a 1 and a half year old and I'm the one working, My husband is the one who is home with our son while I work I'm the provider for our family. It would be nice to be the one who gets to stay home, but for our family thats just not how it works and times are changing so it really depends on the family who is the bread winner.

Nicole - posted on 11/14/2009

I believe that you raise your kids to be great people, and that's going to be based on what your opinions on that is. I personally do believe that the men should be working no less than the women do, unless he's great with kids and wants to be the stay at home dad and takes care of the kids and house while mom is working. It's such a grey area now a days. But no one should have a free ride and sit home and do nothing while the other is working their butt off. It's definately teamwork either way.

Annelise - posted on 10/12/2009

Teach him to be a gentleman & to treat women with respect & you'll be sure that everything else will fall into place.

Bonnie - posted on 09/04/2009

Barb Brule, you said it just the way I think. I don't have girls but that's how I would raise them. I think talking about being a man often and having a man around that does it the right way it is important. I don't see anything wrong or any shame in a stay at home dad but, I don't want to see my children sitting on their butts when their isn't enough money calling themselves stay at home dads. I think they should take their education very serious and let (not force) their wives to stay home. But I will have to say I don't know how I would feel about my daughter-in-laws going to work before my grandchildren are school age just for the sake she can't stand to stay at home; If it's for the need of money that's another reason. There are other things you can do outside the house to get away for a while and not work a 9 to 5. Help out with your church more or somthing to that matter.

Barb - posted on 08/25/2009

Yes, raising our little men from the beginning is and will be important as to how they will present themselves in the real world! That is why it's so crucial to have the daddy figure now so they can see first hand how it's done to take care of your family. We need to be there to set an example for the responsibilities they have to handle! It's not going to get any easier, so it's our job to prepare them! teaching them respect, disipline, good work ethics, will help them so much! Also teaching the girls (if you have) that it's also important to keep their options open for a good career so you're off to a good start, they can go back to work easily after the babies are all grown up, if need be!

Bonnie - posted on 08/20/2009

I agree the world has opened other options and many things could happen but it's more likely that the breast feeder would stay home at least for that time period if she decided to do that even. But are people preparing anymore for the weight that could be carried if a once "traditional home should come about". I wonder this because so many from my generation are so lazy and resentful of the idea of a stay at home mother as if it were a cake walk it self. My husband has lost many friends because they don’t like the idea that he works and I don’t. He didn’t take kindly to that kind of talk about his wife. It doesn’t seem important anymore if one can make enough for the house hold; it seems many people feel well if I have to go to a job everyday so should you. And also greed takes a factor. And some men just can’t keep a job.

Mercedes - posted on 08/18/2009

I have two small boys and I will be teaching them both that there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home dad. If my future daughter in law makes alot more than my sons then I want them to know that staying at home to raise there children is ok. And if the roles were reversed I will let them know that is ok as well. As long as they are both happy and my future grandchildren are ok.