Any out of town working husbands??

Marissa - posted on 03/09/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )

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My husband is a boilermaker which means he's always out of town. Right now he is 3 hours away and comes home most weekend if he is working 5 days that week. This past weekend I took our boys to what we call the work house. It's the house he rents with 2 other guys he works with. Leaving to come home just kills me. My boys are very young 2 and 3 1/2. Seeing my 2 year old with these sad eyes as we are pulling away looking at his Daddy. Then my other son waving and saying he misses his Daddy. He just start with the boilermakers in August. I never would have thought it was this hard having him gone. It's like I'm single mother. We are expecting our third child in July and it's a girl. I just think of how much he is going to miss with her. I just get so depressed sometimes having to take care of everything on my own. If any of you have out of town hubby's, have any words of encouragement.

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Phaddad1966 - posted on 09/13/2012

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Due to the economy, my husband had to take a job out of state. He's in construction and in Mass. it was 3 years without a job. He has a great job now with excellent benefits but I am pretty much alone. I have 3 boys, 16, 15 and 8. I feel like I am divorced most of the time. We talk every day but it's just not enough. He comes home on weekends but doesn't get home until Friday night around 7pm and leaves Sunday at 1pm. My 2 oldest boys are fine with it and understand. My 8 year old is struggling really bad. My heart is broken for him. He is closer to his dad more so than my 2 oldest boys. I do everything I can possible do to try to keep him occupied. It has been 4 months now and it just gets worse for him. I do have to say, it was nice having him leave for a while because he was home for such a long time. lol Our relationship is much better now. We appreciate each other but now I'm not doing well with it. He wants us to relocate and I am so undecided. I'm 46 now and have lived in Mass. my whole life. My youngest is fine with it but my 2 oldest are a sophmore and junior in high school and they just don't want to go. I can't just uproot them at this age. It would affect them tremendously. Well, that's my story and I am so glad I found this site. Makes me feel better hearing other peoples feelings.

Jessica - posted on 08/21/2012

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Or it just kills you.. :( my husband works in the automotive industry. Since April he has been in Indiana working 7 days a week. He has been home a handful of times. I'm pregnant and have a 20 month old daughter. Its isolating and lonely, and hard work. I wonder sometimes if this is even a marriage. I know its our livelihood but whats the point of all that work and money if you spend no time together and your husband misses every aspect of LIFE? First words, baby kicks, the birth of his children...it doesn't feel worth it. Very depressing.

User - posted on 07/06/2014

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marissa I am in the same boat there are times that I will go with him and other times I cannot however this is the profession our husbands has chosen. the only thing we can do is pray that door open for him to come and see you all more and ways for you to come him. I used to feel the same way you felt and your right it is very hard. but we are women the giver of life. take things one day at a time sometimes moment by moment make time whenever u can but with children this can be very exhausting. I would just say take things one day at time. make sure he knows you love and support him. keep the lines of communication open. you can do it marissa best regards to u and your family.

Marnie - posted on 10/22/2012

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my husband works out of town a carpenter we live in northern ontario canada he is usually 4days in 3out but is 4 hours away prior he was 8 hours away 3 weeks in 1 week out so the 4 days is so good lol no matter what i do i am so upset most of the time i am unemploed no kids here iam smart and know that we should all be grateful they have a job and we are BUT the nmind wonders and thinks about everything we have only been married 3 years so i am not glad when he leaveslol he expresses how hard it is for him too but will still go out with the guys for a beer and then i friek HELP

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Hannah Rita - posted on 12/18/2013

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My husband was working 6 hours away, and that was great because he would come home on weekends... Sure some days were harder than others, but now he works a month away, 2 weeks home (overseas). It's really hard, just remember that you love your boys, and try and create routines which remind them that you are all a loving family. My little guy is only 5 months, but we have our own little rituals that stay even when daddy is home. Also try and let your husband get time with the kids when he's home. Sure it will disrupt your schedule, but it really is important for the father son relationship. Kids are troopers as long as they are getting love from both parents everything should be okay. Hire help. Take care of yourself. Get friends or relatives to lend a hand, and don't be shy about asking. It's hard doing it on your own, so put boundaries in place. As long as the kids are loved, and cared for, you are doing your job perfectly. Keep up the good work.

RossGrace - posted on 12/18/2013

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How about YOU become a carpenter too! So you can work alongside your husband! No kids, means you CAN WORK away from home too! >:I

RossGrace - posted on 12/18/2013

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Also appreciate that YOU don't have to work the sites your husband chooses to work for your sake!

RossGrace - posted on 12/18/2013

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Switch places with your husband. Then you will be less prone to feel so selfish as to the SACRIFICES he makes to keep you and the children clothed and sheltered. If you're taking care of everything on your own, then he wouldn't need to work as a BOILERMAKER! >:I

RossGrace - posted on 12/18/2013

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You ungrateful b*tches! >:I Here you have HUSBANDS working to make sure your asses are in a home and YOU and the CHILDREN are clothed and fed! How about YOU switch places with HIM and see how "enjoyable" it is to provide for YOUR FAMILY! >:I Get a job in the TRADES you ungrateful b*tches, then talk! >:I INSANE! >:I

Rcddor - posted on 11/28/2012

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I too am a Welder, With job offers to weld far away, but have a poor paying job now near our home. Leaving for a better job would just kill me. (Leaving my 16 month old). He is my world and I know it would be better for our lifestyle but cant bring it to myself to make the dissition. we had lots of problems when he was born and was in NICU, one reason why its so tough for me to make up my mine. Could use a little help. Better our lifes and not be around as much or Stick it out and be here?

Kristen - posted on 11/01/2012

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Hello, my husband is a pipeline welder and works 5 hours away from home. he stays for 2 weeks at a time and comes home for one weekend. I am only 25 and we have 3 children and one on the way, ages 6, 2, and 1. I feel like a single parent and it is EXTREMELY hard to handle. i do travel there but not often due to the hazardous location he is at. he never gets to go to any of my pregnancy appointments or any of our kids events. i get depressed sometimes and the only thing that seems to help is keeping myself busy with various errands and outings. all i can say to the other women dealing with this is to stay strong and try to appreciate the time you do have together.

Amber - posted on 05/13/2011

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If you can handle 2 babies on your own you can do it, I have twin boys and my that's hard. Stay strong, remember what doesn't kill you makes ya stronger :-)

Liz - posted on 06/21/2009

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btw, my husband is a pipe welder too. During my pregnancy he had to travel back and forth a lot because I was in the hopital for 2mo, then baby in nicu for 25days. Glad we made it through that. Now that our baby is almost 3yrs, we've trying for baby #2 for the last almost 2yrs. I hope we can get the visits timed right to get pregnant and then I hope the pregnancy will go better than the first, but I know what to expect now for high risk pregnancy. Makes it much more challenging with him gone though!

Jamie - posted on 06/07/2009

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Wow! It's really amazing to hear how similar our lives all sound! Sometimes I feel alone being married to a man who works out of town! I stayed in our holiday trailed too last summer for 8 weeks. It really wasn't too bad. Just make sure you bring your own vehicle so that you can explore the area! And a good stroller! I got into the best shape walking all day..haha.

Liz - posted on 04/22/2009

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I completely understand! I quit my job in November because I was so burnt out from work and doing everything at home by myself! I think I have just now gotten adjusted to being a sahm and don't have an overloaded schedule. so I am just now trying to make some girlfriends in town, and I have lived here for 5 years! I have a 2 1/2 yo son and I feel like my husband barely knows him and hasn't really bonded with him since my husband has been gone so much since he was born. I am lucky to have a wonderful in-laws that help out a lot too. since I am not working now I am going to try staying with my husband more this summer. He lives in a 27ft fifth wheel trailer, 8 hours from home, staying there is a real challenge for me, I love seeing my husband, but I have a hard time living there for more than a week. He gives me a hard time cause we never come see him, but summer will allow for daily toddler outings, we'll give it a try!

Johnie - posted on 04/18/2009

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HI,I am a wife of a welder and my oldest son is also a welder,he now lives in colorado with his new wife and they are expecting my first grand baby.It is hard but i try to take it one day at a time.My husband has been working on the road senice i was pregnant with my first child.It has not been boring! MY kids have had some awsome times because my husband has made an efert to take time to show us the sites.grandcaynnon the ocean yellow stone park hoverdame and lots of other sites.so i try to look at those times and try to create others.it is not all bad.i hope this has helped.if you want to talk or have other ?.just ask.GOD BLESS

Jamie - posted on 03/26/2009

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Yes my hubby was away for the last half of my second trimester and almost all of my third.  I went into labour 8 weeks before she was due and he rushed home but they stopped my labour and put me on bed rest for the last bit of my pregnancy.  So he went back to work.  I was 4 cm dilated for the rest of the time and she ended up arriving at 38 weeks!  But I know what you're saying....I would call him, freaking out about random things and he was as supportive as he could be but what could he really do?



We hear about jobs closer to home all the time and I do the same thing...hope that he can get one!  How are you feeling now?

Jamie - posted on 03/26/2009

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Yes my hubby was away for the last half of my second trimester and almost all of my third.  I went into labour 8 weeks before she was due and he rushed home but they stopped my labour and put me on bed rest for the last bit of my pregnancy.  So he went back to work.  I was 4 cm dilated for the rest of the time and she ended up arriving at 38 weeks!  But I know what you're saying....I would call him, freaking out about random things and he was as supportive as he could be but what could he really do?



We hear about jobs closer to home all the time and I do the same thing...hope that he can get one!  How are you feeling now?

Marissa - posted on 03/13/2009

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Was your hubby gone when you were pregnant with your daughter? Today was the hardest day so far with this pregnancy. I woke up and noticed that Lilli had not moved for quite awhile. At about 11 this morning she still was not moving. I freaked out!! I called my husband crying. I tend to freak out more with noone here for that emotional support pregnancy needs. With my oldest son he stopped moving because of my blood pressure and I was induced at 37 weeks. I'm not even 24 weeks so i was really scared. Turns out that as long as I feel her move once or twice a day at this point of the pregnancy she is fine. I just really need my husband here. I have so many complications with my blood pressure with my boys that I'm worried that this one will be the same. I just don't know how I will do it going the rest of the time if he is gone. There is a job starting at the end of the month that is close to home so he will be here everyday. We are praying he can get to that job.

Jamie - posted on 03/10/2009

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It feels EXACTLY like being a single parents without the financial stress.  My hubby is a pipeline welder and is always out of town.  This fall my daughter (who was 4 months old at the time) and I travelled 17 hours from our home to go stay with my hubby in a trailer.  We stayed for 2 months because I couldn't bare to leave him.  Now he is working five hours north of our home which is better except he is on a 6 and 1 so he never comes home.  We live in northern Canada so the roads are terrible right now.  I haven't made any trips up to see him and he's only been home once for our daughters baptism. 



 



The only advice I can offer is to stay close to the rest of your family.  I can't imagine having two babies and another one on the way right now...You are a brave woman!  I always put my husband on speakerphone for my daughter and we are lucky that he can take calls during the day.  We have our "bedtime" routine where she calls him to say good night.  I know it's not the same but unfortunatly with our economy this is our only choice for work. 



 



If you ever need to vent, message me.  I'll listen and probably vent back!

Jamie - posted on 03/10/2009

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It feels EXACTLY like being a single parents without the financial stress.  My hubby is a pipeline welder and is always out of town.  This fall my daughter (who was 4 months old at the time) and I travelled 17 hours from our home to go stay with my hubby in a trailer.  We stayed for 2 months because I couldn't bare to leave him.  Now he is working five hours north of our home which is better except he is on a 6 and 1 so he never comes home.  We live in northern Canada so the roads are terrible right now.  I haven't made any trips up to see him and he's only been home once for our daughters baptism. 



 



The only advice I can offer is to stay close to the rest of your family.  I can't imagine having two babies and another one on the way right now...You are a brave woman!  I always put my husband on speakerphone for my daughter and we are lucky that he can take calls during the day.  We have our "bedtime" routine where she calls him to say good night.  I know it's not the same but unfortunatly with our economy this is our only choice for work. 



 



If you ever need to vent, message me.  I'll listen and probably vent back!

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