12 month old wont sleep through night, please help, I'm exhausted!

Robin - posted on 02/06/2013 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I am dire need at this point. My boy loves to nurse and only knows how to nurse to sleep. Yes, I know, I taught him this early on but didn't know any better then as now I'm paying for it. He wakes on a really good night only every 1 1/2 hours to nurse back to sleep. Yes, I cosleep so that this wake up is short, but really? At 12 months, still? I'm going crazy! The past few nights he wouldn't sleep at all, maybe cause he misses me with te might class I now have o Monday nights, not sure, but its wiping me out and I'm an emotional wreck, any advice besides just letting him cry in a room alone is definitely needed here. I just don't have the heart no matter how bad of I am to just make him cry alone.

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JessI - posted on 02/16/2013

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also,I nursed my babies through the night also,my kids have always slept in bed with me too..first, it was really hard to break them of nursing or bottle feeding at night. I almost gave in but I gave them a warm bottle of water during night time which was usually thrown at me lol but be consistant. after a few days they realize they arent getting milk and will take the water. milk sits on their gums and can rot their teeth underneath. if your single or dont mind your kids sleeping with you I dont see anything against it. they feel safe next to mommy. some people may say its a bad habit but I have all girls and see nothing wrong I also love sleeping next to my kids and how they argue over who gets to sleep next to me , they take turns..all about comfort! if I am what comforts them, I am proud to be that.

JessI - posted on 02/16/2013

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I agree with the t shirt..my 7 yr old sleeps with mine and I didnt even give it to her,she just took it. its a comfort thing.

Geraldine - posted on 02/14/2013

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Also My husband was in China ....@ the time........i tried everything..................NO MEDS FOR A KID THAT YOUNG ONLY BY DOC.......SHE TOLD ME THAT TRICK. of the shirt he can smell your scent...........................WORKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Geraldine - posted on 02/14/2013

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When my son, was similar to yours, I gave him the choice of T-SHIRT of mine HE PICK OUT and keep it safe till the morning. That way his mommie is with him.........LOL ALL NITE.!!!!!!!!.
Today he is 19..
Give it a try.
Also don"t spend too much time FUSSING WITH THEM ........ Say yer .......... NITE NITE SWEETIE .and leave .
Good Luck,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Robin - posted on 02/07/2013

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Ok, I just talked with my husband today And he's on board. I'm going to buy the book today, And in a week from today, onFriday, We're going to give this a go. I think this will work since my husband is Able to do it as well. We have been kind of counterproductive Up till this point since I've been trying to do the no cry method and my DH would give him a pacifier. Anyways, that gives us a week to read ad decide exactly what we are willing to keep and are willing to give up. Ill post again in a few weeks and let y'all know how it goes.

Carol Anne - posted on 02/06/2013

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I also used the baby whisperer book to get my 18 month old to go down for naps and back to sleep when he woke at night. He was a baby who fell asleep on the breast every time too. I think the first time I implemented the "pick up put down" method I counted 48 pick ups before he fell asleep (because he would cry immediately going into the crib). Next night it was half that. They basically get tired from all the pick up put downs and eventually fall asleep in the crib. If you can stick it out it seems to really send the message to them that they CAN fall asleep by themselves. 12 years later I am thinking about doing it with my now 1 year old, who like your little one gets up way too much at night to nurse.

Jessica - posted on 02/06/2013

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I breast fed him exclusively until 11 months and added in a bottle of milk/toddler formula when I went back to school, but I cut out nursing through the night at this time too and only allowed bottles of water in his crib with him. He also used a soother, but that was a personal choice to avoid the thumb sucking he did when first born (I figured it was easier to take away a soother than a thumb).

Honestly, no matter what you give him or don't give him it is going to be a big adjustment for both of you so I say choose whatever you think you can live with. Sometimes when you implement one change its easier to implement a few others at the same time rather than to try to tackle each one separately. If you're planning on giving him a bottle at night, make sure he has it right when he goes to sleep instead of giving it as a response to his crying. That way he knows it is there if he needs it. At this point he's probably on solid foods and needs less milk, so the drinking at night is more of a comfort thing than an actual physical need.

Robin - posted on 02/06/2013

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I just thought of something. Did you still nurse or bottle feed your baby at all during night when doing this pick up put down method? My boy is so used to nibbling all night long I don't think he could handle a sudden adjustment to no good at night.

Robin - posted on 02/06/2013

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I really appreciate the advice. This is something I haven't tried And my husband might Be willing to do This one with this one with me. I read the dr. sears book and the no cry sleep solution, but its such a habit to just give him breast being half asleep when he wakes up, half of the time I'd forget to do it so that didn't work. Ill get the book and give this one a try. Something has to give and we have this great crib 'decorating' his room. Thanks for the insight.

Jessica - posted on 02/06/2013

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I had this happen with my son (now 5) and as a single mom of an 11 month old who was about to go back to school, I knew I needed to get him sleeping - and easy to put down.

I read a lot of books and even tried the 'cry it out' thing but that only lasted a couple hours. Besides, I've read a lot of negative views on it. Finally I read a book (The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems) and although I felt that him being almost a year old I was starting too late, I began what the author called Pick Up Put Downs (PUPD). It took two weeks of near exhaustion and hours and hours of work, but each day getting him to bed got better. Once he got used to sleeping without nursing, he became easier to get to sleep when he woke through the night. After two weeks, absolutely anyone could put him to bed including his babysitter during my night classes and his daycare.

I can't remember the exact instructions but here's what I did:
Put your child in the crib/playpen - whatever you have. Say a consistent goodnight saying every time (something like 'sweet dreams, I'll see you when you wake up) you put them in the crib so they know it is time to sleep. As soon as the child cries pick them up but don't speak. I bounced him and held him. The second they stop crying put them back in the bed. I found it worked better if I didn't make eye contact while in the room, but stayed in his room until be fell asleep. I had a rocking chair and would read during the quiet periods (good if you have to read for class). Again, the second your child cries you pick them up until they stop and then put them back down. I did this for all sleep times - naps and night time.

The first couple days were a nightmare but I'm stubborn enough that I stuck with it even when it took hours and hours to get him to sleep. Start on a day where you can afford to spend most of it in the nursery, because I swear I never left his room for 24-48 hours except to grab some food. My arms hurt and ribs killed from leaning over the high crib rail so many times. I wanted to cry or scream. But in the long run a couple of bad days and a total of two weeks of work resulted in making my life so much easier and better. I also have the most stubborn child I've ever met to this day, so that might have something to do with why it was so hard for me.

It worked for me because my son knew I wasn't abandoning him. He became comfortable with his crib and saw it as a reward for good behaviour, not a punishment. I even helped a friend with this for her son child and it worked with him too. As my son got older and moved into a toddler bed the difficulty became keeping him in bed, but using the same methods (respond by hugging him, don't say a word, put him back to bed) worked then too.

If you're interested the book was a good read (all about how different children need different things), but the sleep thing saved my life. Knowing that at bed time I could simply put him in his crib and say goodnight, then get to all of my projects and reading. Probably the worst part for me was not having him sleep with me anymore (I missed it) which changed again around age three after we moved and he needed to sleep with me for comfort.

Whatever way you choose to go about it, getting that much needed alone and quiet time is really important. I know how difficult it is to unlatch them and get the energy to get out of bed and clean or work. Especially when you're already exhausted. Best of luck.

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