“15-year-old daughter wants to sleepover with boyfriend”

Claire - posted on 10/09/2010 ( 29 moms have responded )

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A new piece titled “15-year-old daughter wants to sleepover with boyfriend” has just been posted on Inspired Parenting. www.inspiredparenting.co.za Comment on this on the forum .

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Dee - posted on 10/13/2010

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Absolutely not. I have two boys and I would not allow their girlfriends to sleepover at that age nor would I want them to have girlfriends at that age. We aren't naive to believe what could come of this if anything at all. School should be all that worries them and us as parents for that matter.
I would not condone sex at this age nor would I allow it by saying sure no problem allow your boyfriend to sleep over.
15 year olds are not old enough to become parents they are children themselves and unless you are wanting to raise another child since most times this is what occurs then I would put a hold on that one unitl they turn 18. By then they will most likely be very appreciative of you for it.

Christina - posted on 10/11/2010

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NO WAY! Even if my 15yr old daughter came home and told me she was pregnant, I would STILL NOT LET HER SLEEP OVER WITH HER BOYFRIEND!

[deleted account]

My son is 15 and my daughter is 11. The question has already come up with my daughter. She had a sleepover for her birthday party. She has a friend that is a boy. He came to the party, but didn't sleep over. We do not allow boy/girl sleepovers in our house. Both sets of parents understand that we need to set boundaries. We are the parents and we need to teach them what is right.

Laurie - posted on 10/10/2010

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R U serious?? NO!! When she is an adult she can have all the slumber parties she wants. Nowadays boys and girls are growing up to fast and doing and thinking things I would'nt do/think when I was 15yo. I have a soon to be 16yo at home and she is a good girl and very responsible and yet I would tell her no if she came to me with that question. If I let one child do it they will all ask to do it. Anyway I don't want to put her in a uncomfortable situation.

Katie - posted on 10/10/2010

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I have a 16 yr old girl , 15 yr boy and a 12 yr old girl... no to either of them.I don't like the possibility of putting them in an uncomfortable situation. They have plenty of time for adult sleepovers after the turn 18. Good luck!

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Karen - posted on 08/06/2012

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Before saying "no" I would ask the child what kind of reputation she wants to establish for herself. Even though they are only sleeping, it just takes one fellow student who is angry (or the boy who takes the eventual breakup badly), someone who feels she disrespected her, etc. for rumors to be spread all over the internet, cell phones, facebook, etc., and the rest of her High School years to be awful. Is it worth it? Then I'd say "no" and seriously look at the limits that were stretched too far that she thought that I might even consider saying yes.

Ilona - posted on 07/04/2012

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hi moms! I just found a letter that was written to my daughter whom is 15. From a boy Ive once met. Icould not beleive what he wrote. Could hardly wait for school to end so that my daughter could sleep over. he kept repeating how much he loves her. And what they would do. I was terrified. And ofcourse. she happened to be at a sleep over the day I find this letter when I was cleaning her room. I called the boys mother to see if she went to his home from her girlfriends. The mother was at work. Has 3 jobs. Hardly ever home. It was so weird, she asked me to hold because her son was calling.And my daughter was trying to call me.I am upset. How do I handle this? What would you do. I am a single mom, and my daughter will take any chance she can get to have a sleepover she says at a girlfriends. I will come back tommorow to see any advise. Thank you all

Heather - posted on 12/30/2011

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OK! So this is kinda on the same subject. But my sister is letting her 11 year old boyfriend sleep in the same room with my neice, she is only 11 as well. and the keep the door locked at night. and also is very proacative. They kiss in front of everybody all the time. also has a lip piercing. My sister and I dont talk anymore because I was going to invite her tow younger ones to my daughters birthday which she just turned 10. But she said she had to bring her daughter and her boyfriend to. I said really? I would rather not have k and D sucking face in front of a bunch of 9/10 year olds. and well I got a long message stating how horrible i was saying thos things about k. Really?!?!? adults dont even do that in front people. Can she get in trouble for letting this happen in the house hold. Before when I was talking with my sister, everytime we left her house, I had to tell my daughter that it was not ok to act like k

Julie - posted on 10/16/2010

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OK wiser moms prevail...and sneaker more experienced now grown up teens than I had been...!!!LOL The next party has been amended to boy leave at midnight! mine is still young but better place the precedent before hormones kick in!

[deleted account]

No. Simple as that. I could talk myself into it somehow, I'm sure, such as if my hubby and the boyfriend slept downstairs on the couch and Julie and I stayed upstairs, but no. I would eventually tell myself not to even consider those possibilities.

My daughter's not even born yet but still, hubby and I are ready to be strict with our baby girl.

Cynthia - posted on 10/14/2010

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@ Christina:You sound just like my dad! Even though I was pregnant, I was NOT MARRIED and he felt I would be setting a bad example for my younger sisters. Now that I am an adult and have children of my own, I totally agree with that statement :)

Leighana - posted on 10/14/2010

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than what is the point of a sleep over? Just part at bed time and get up and come back over in the morning. I know someone who did this and now their kids have a baby! They are just babies themselves. I was a teen once and when my parents fell asleep it was no problem sneaking in or out of their rooms. haha. There is no hard fast rule it really just boils down to using your better judgement. I know for me growing up the only time I had boys spend the night is if it was New Years Eve because my sister died on NYE in an auto accident by a drunk driver so my parents wanted me home and did not want anyone leaving their house. So all the guys slept in the big room over the garage, and they had me and all the girls sleep on the other side of the house and they left their door open. But we still snuck over to the boys side and never got caught, hahaaa. Anyway. fun times.

Jelissa - posted on 10/14/2010

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my daughter wouldnt even get to finish her sentence if she came to me with that question the answer is NO NO NO NO that is just an open door for your teenage child to have sex and have children and any parent who allows that is crazy because no matter how you think you can seperate a boy and a girl and keep it that way all night really does not know much about teenagers for the most part they are sneaky and sex is what they are thinking about now days it shouldnt happen or at least it wont in my house

Kiara - posted on 10/13/2010

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Its up to you, your moral standards, and what you expect of your daughter. If you think its ok to sleep with guys before marriage or if you're ok with her having sex or being intimate with her boyfriend, then the answer is yes. If you are not, don't allow her to even be in that situation. Its really not a good look and could have a negative effect on her reputation.

Abo - posted on 10/13/2010

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I so agree Dee!!! "" Absolutely not. I have two boys and I would not allow their girlfriends to sleepover at that age nor would I want them to have girlfriends at that age. We aren't naive to believe what could come of this if anything at all. School should be all that worries them and us as parents for that matter.""

Dee - posted on 10/13/2010

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I did read the post and I realized the mother mentioned they grew up together. Well they are still growing up! They should still let them be kids, they are too young to handle any of these responsibilities.

Abo - posted on 10/12/2010

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NO NO NO! Unfortunately kids nowadays have early sexual interest/experiences, therefore, it def involves sexuality!
No co-ed sleep overs for my daughter unless it's a church/school thing and they are sleeping in SEPARATE quarters! Rather safe than sorry,that's my take.

Drea - posted on 10/11/2010

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dnt do it thats how i started having sex even tho me and her are two diff ppl still you dont want to let your daughter be in a situation at such a young age where she would be able to.

Julie - posted on 10/11/2010

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why does sleeping automatically involve sexualtiy? What does girls sleeping upstaris and boys sleeping downstairs in another room involve sexuality? They are children sleeping. When the youth group has a lock in the girls mearly sleep on the otherside of the room. Would I allow a date to spend the night? No way! But not every coed group is about sexuality.

[deleted account]

Another amen to you! Sounds like you and I may have some things in common. If you would like to chat, I am on yahoo messenger - lisanow2003. My YIM is open much of the day while I am in class, and usually after my children are asleep at night. Hugs to you!

[deleted account]

I totallyagree with you Lisa. I' open about my sexuality, however I am an adult. But as long as our children are still children in our household (or anyone else's household), they will not haveco-ed sleepovers. It just opens up too many issues that they are not mature enough to handle!

[deleted account]

I agree Renee. I might be extremely open minded when it comes to my own sexuality, but I am also very closed minded when it comes to the idea of placing my children into temptation. Does that make sense?

[deleted account]

My children are much younger, but even at this age I do not allow boy/girl sleepovers. I would never allow it as an unmarried teenager still in school. If you read my profile and posts, you would find that I am very liberal and open minded with regard to my life. That is MY life though, and I am an adult fully responsible for each and every one of my actions.

Julie - posted on 10/10/2010

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my daughter has boys who are friends. We recently moved and some of her friends live about a 20 minute drive now...they stay up all hours playing computer games..when it is time to crash... The boys crash in the sun room the girls crash up stairs...hubs sleeps on the couch between
I figure if church youth groups dont have a problem with youth groups going on trips and sleeping in seperate quarters why should we?

Kaylene - posted on 10/09/2010

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My mother allowed me. As long As Parents were home and we were sleeping in different rooms. But that was never a problem because his parents stayed up with us till we went to sleep and they made him sleep on their bedroom floor. hahaha. and if he stayed at my house I had to sleep in her room with her.Some moms or dads say no some say yes on conditions. Both our parents made us sleep in their bedrooms

Leighana - posted on 10/09/2010

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I would say no hands down. She is a minor, you cannot condone this...I have a daughter who is now 20. Our children need guidelines and boarders which do not come down. Later they will appreciate this. They need to be taught to respect their bodies and talked to shamelessly about sex and protection and all the consequences and responsibility that comes with the decisions they make and how those decisions will affect everyone around them. Hope this helps!

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