1st week at Day Care - Not going too good

Cledia - posted on 05/10/2010 ( 45 moms have responded )

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My son will be 1 on May 19, we started him at a day care last Monday (3/5 days).

1st day - When we dropped him off he was fine, didn't even cry. When I went to pick him up he was crying, the teacher mentioned he was fine all day but when he saw other parents taking their kids that is when he started crying.

2nd day - he cried a little when I dropped him off, and the teacher said he cried on and off throughout the day.

3rd day - same as 2nd day.

Today when I dropped him off as soon as we walked into the room he clinked on to me and started crying. I called mid morning and they said he would cry on and off but he didn't want his milk nor breakfast. I called during lunch and he was still crying on and off, still didn't want milk, water or anything, so I stopped by during lunch and took him something to eat. The moment he saw me he started crying. I gave him the food I took him and he devoured it. You could tell he was hungry. But the moment he sees me get up he starts crying.

Please advise. I feel terrible. I don't know what to do.

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Sylvia - posted on 05/10/2010

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It's hard starting daycare that young. My DD first went to daycare at 13 months (when my mat leave plus a month's vacation ended), and she cried for ... well, the first couple of weeks, anyway. I felt awful. She didn't eat much of anything, either, but that didn't surprise me so much because she didn't eat that much at home anyway -- she was still getting most of her nutrition from nursing. (And she would never take a bottle, so leaving her a bottle of pumped milk wasn't an option.)

A few things (other than the passing of time) that I found helped:
- instead of waking her up super early, I let her sleep while I changed her diaper, put her clothes on, and stuck her in the sling; she would usually sleep the whole way on the bus and subway and wake up just before we got to the daycare (about an hour later -- I had a long commute in those days, which is why we moved :P). That meant she could stay up a bit later in the evening and have more awake time with DH and me.

- There was a particular teacher in the Infant Room that she really liked, so I tried to leave her with that teacher if possible.

- Giving the baby to the teacher/caregiver works better than having the teacher take the baby from you.

- Does your DS have a special blanket, stuffed animal, or other comfort object that could go to daycare with him? Or a pillowcase or something that smells like you? That might help him with the transition in the morning.

- I found it helpful to arrive at the daycare with 10-15 minutes to spare so that I didn't have to rush away; I could stand and talk with the teachers for a few minutes and let DD acclimate before it was time to say goodbye. At that point, though, it generally works best to say goodbye cheerfully and briefly rather than dragging it out. I used to peek in through the window on my way out, and after the first week, most of the time DD would have stopped crying and gotten interested in something by the time I was out the door and around to the window.

- DD also used to totally lose it when I arrived to pick her up, even if she'd been fine all day. So instead of making her wait until we got home to nurse, I started sitting down with her and nursing for a while before we left to go home. (I also became good at nursing on the bus ...).

- Snacks for the road are helpful. Hungry kids are cranky kids :P

- Be prepared for reverse cycling (not eating all day and then nursing all night).

Most kids take a while to adjust to daycare (or anything new, really!), even if the daycare is great. Give it a couple of weeks, and I bet it will start to get better!

Danielle - posted on 05/25/2010

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I work in a preschool and have worked with kids from birth to 5 years. It is prefectly normal for kids to be this way. Ecspecially if this is his first time in this kind of setting. He is probally feeling a little overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of the room. I had a child in my room who was almost 2 who cried off and on all day for the frist two weeks. i know that may not make you feel any better but just know that it does get better. I hope everything turns out for the better for you and your son :)

Krystin - posted on 05/21/2010

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Ten Days. I have survived by this, it takes kids ten days for about everything (in my experience), if YOU can survive ten days, he will adjust fine. ;0)

Sabrina - posted on 05/17/2010

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Hello concerned mommy, I am actually a daycare lady! One thing I can say is that your son, being just under a year is suffering from seperation anxiety... so NEVER try to sneek out, always say good-bye and be sure to tell him that mommy WILL be comin back for him! Another helpful thing to know is that the longer he is there and the more it becomes a constant in his life, the safer he will feel! Hang in there, unless you think that his daycare teacher isn't giving him the affection he's going to need in this difficult time. If this is the case, find a daycare that you feel more comfortable leaving him at...Bacause if he feels your nervousness and tension about dropping him off somewhere then what is HE supposed to think>?? Sounds like a classic case of seperation anxiety mixed with some "stranger danger" anxiety. Little guy will be just fine with time, but only if he can trust in your comfort and ease leaving him there.

Andrea - posted on 05/13/2010

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My daughter started daycare this week as well she has been twice and she cry's when I leave but they told me she stops a few minutes after I leave. She takes her favorite blanket with her, They say she carrys it around with her all day! I think it really helps her feel safe away from home. Maybe your son can bring a blanket or stuffed animal he really likes with him, It has really helped my daughter with the new routine! Good Luck :)

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Jennifer - posted on 03/08/2011

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My son will be 2 in May and I started him in a daycare center on 2/28 and he went through the same thing. He would start to cry as soon as he saw the building. He would cry off and on and wouldn't be interested in things he loves...we're on week #2 and he has started to show improvements. He still cries when i drop him off but he now plays with the other kids while i'm gone and is eating too. I know how hard it is to see your lil one crying when you leave but it will get better.
What I do is as we are getting ready i tell him he's going to "school" (since they do teach him things there) that he's going to go and play with the kids and teachers, have lunch, take a nap, play some more, maybe even color and when the day is all done mommy is going to come and pick him up...in other words i try to tell him what he can expect of the day, and i will repeat this all the way to "school". When we get there his daycare provider will take him as I tell him I love him and will see him later after he's had a fun day. I try to keep positive and smile so he sees mommy is ok with this, that it can't be that bad. I also try to keep drop off down to a few minutes at most. The other thing I do and it sounds mean, but i make him stop crying before I will give him hugs. I'm trying to do positive reinforcement, if I scoop him up everytime he cries he'll keep doing it to get the attention and delay me leaving. 1 may be a little young to do that though.
I don't know what your day care situation was before, but it sounds like he had a lot of 1:1 time and this is just a HUGE adjustment for him. It could take a couple months for him to feel totally himself there, but i think each day will get a tiny bit better. (at least that's what i've been finding in my case)
I hope this helps you some. Stay strong it will be worth it in the end. :)

Kate - posted on 05/26/2010

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Noah has been in care since 11months he is now 21/2. The crying has stopped most days - what works best for us is that I factor in an extra 10 minutes in the morning at the care centre. This gives Noah time to see which kids are there and which teachers are there. After 10minutes if he still clinging to me, I ask him which teacher needs a big bear hug from him, he chooses and gets lots of cuddles. the teachers also made a point of letting Noah see me leave, they would wave from a window I could wave back and Noah usually lets me know how many beeps of the horn I have to do. You have to keep going, eventually you and your little one will work out a new routine that makes it a bit easier. Whatever you have to do to get through it - do it. I still have days when I leave the centre crying because Noah is so upset, i know the staff/teachers love him - he is one of the few full time kids there. Talk to the staff, try to find different ways maybe distraction, maybe letting him know your going and that you will be back at say 4.00 and point to the clock. I know its hard, especially since they are so little. have you taking your little one shopping to buy a special bag and special clothes for school (thats what we call our centre).
Every morning Noah wakes up and says "no school, mummy" my answer is "yes school". I have at least another 14 years of this question. So much to look forward to.

take heart, it will get easier. Talk to the staff.

Martha - posted on 05/24/2010

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You might stop in at random times and see how things are going. There might be a person, child/caregiver, that is doing something wrong and making your child not want to be there.

We didn't have any problems with our day care. My son loves where he is at. But the one thing we try to do when he is not at day care is still follow the schedule they have at day care. Naps, feeding, play time. We don't always follow it, but we try.

Dawn - posted on 05/24/2010

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I am not a huge fan of day care, so I have to say that if you have any way to work shifts where you can make sure one of you is home with your son, or have a family member of friend who would take care of your child, that is the way to go if you need to work. The thing that children need the most when they are young is love and stability. They need a routine--not socialization of a bunch of kids. My daughter is 12 now, and when I went back to work when she was 3 mos old, my mother watched her every day. My cousin also had a child around the same time that I did, and my mother watched her baby too. We both paid her, because we would have had to pay a daycare, and my mother quit her job at MacDonalds to watch our kids until they were 4 yrs old. I then put my daughter into a private school for full day Kindergarten, because I would have had to send her to daycare if she went to half day kindergargen anyway, and when I put her into public school after that, she was waaaay ahead of the kids who went to "pre-school" and day care. My daughter skipped 3rd grade, and had no problem making friends from her new grade or keeping her friends from before. She didn't have to go to preschool to have friends. She went to family events, went to church, and went to the library. There are mom's groups out there to make friends for you and your child. I have actually found that unless you really make a lot of money that you can stay home with your child, and with some coupon cutting and savvy shopping do just as well as if you work and spend money buying coffee out, lunch, gas to get back and forth, work clothes, etc. I just believe that no one will take better care of your child than you, and then second place is people who care about you and your family. All due respect to day care workers, pre-school teachers etc. but they are caring for the kids because they get paid to do so, and that is not the same as just loving them. Also, the basic things that children learn before they go to school, like how to count, the alphabet, and maybe how to read, doesn't take a college educated teacher to do. It just takes someone who thinks that learning is important to make sure that the children are read to and don't just sit in front of a TV all day. Good luck--I know it is a hard decision to make, but kids are only kids for so long, and if they sleep 8-10 hrs per day, and are in day care 8-9 hrs per day, that gives you only 5 or 6 hrs a day to see your child, and you still need to do the cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc. God bless.

Sue - posted on 05/22/2010

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You don"t say if this is his first time in care, but I'm going to a assume it is. At one yr of age they already know people and familiar faces. He knows he is someplace new. He is probably nervous by the new people, strange noises and all the activity. Give it time and he will adjust. Is it possible for you to work part time for a few weeks so he can adjust in slower, shorter times. 8-9 hours is a long time for a one yr old. He also needs a caregiver who is going to hold him, comfort him and give him the time he needs to feel safe and secure. Trust is big with one yr olds. He doesn't know these people and if they are not taking any special one on one time with him he will not learn to trust that his needs are going to be met. He may very well be having some stranger anxiety issues as well. Usually, between 8 mos. and 15 mos. this accurs. Talk to the provider and find out what they do to comfort him. Do they snuggle with him? Does he have a blanket from home he can hold on too? lOr some other familiar object, like a teddy or stuffed animal. Maybe a picture of the family the provider can show him and talk to him about mommy and daddy. He really needs someone he can learn to trust and who will be patient and understanding that he needs encouragement to play, he needs to be talked to, smiled at, played with. Like I said, he needs some TLC and this will pass.

Geri - posted on 05/22/2010

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I worked as an assistant director in a daycare for quite a while, and what you're describing is really pretty normal behavior for a child that age. Some kids never make a peep, and some do - it just depends on their personality. One of the biggest things is to help him feel like everything is OK. In my experience, drawing out process of dropping your child off and visiting in the middle of the day is not helpful at that age, and it often actually makes things worse. For most kids, it takes them one or two weeks to learn that mom or dad IS coming back, and that there are going to be fun and interesting things to do while mom or dad are gone. It also takes about that long for them to learn the rhythm of the day and the schedule for eating, playing, and resting. BUT if they see you upset or reluctant to leave, they will get the message that something is wrong and have problems.

Once your son settles into the routine, prepare yourself for the day that he starts to cry because you're picking him up! I've actually seen parents quit their jobs when this happens, even though it's a VERY good thing because it means their child is stimulated and enjoying themselves.

Nicole - posted on 05/21/2010

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I was in the same boat. I started my two kids, Zack 2 and Teyah 11 months at day care two days a week when i returned to work at the beginning of April. To begin with they would both scream when i left and cry forever when i picked them up. They didn't eat a lot and their sleep pattern was a littl ethrown off, but it does get easier, they get used to it quite quickly. You've got to remember that he's had you all to himself for so long, now he has to see you leave, share toys with others, not get as many cuddles and kisses etc etc, and that's a massive transition. Don't worry about whether its the right centre just yet, he's not crying cause he hates the people, he's crying because his routine has been messed with in a big way. Both of mine have settled really well now, they both walk in and start playing straight away, they eat great and have their regular naps. So give it time and you will probably find all will work out.

Rosanne - posted on 05/19/2010

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Ask the service provider if there is any where you can observe your child during any part of the day where neither they or he know you are looking. It does take time for wee ones to realise you are coming back, and sometimes it is just that first separation period just before or as you leave. For peace of mind I would be asking to beable to observe privately to give you piece of mind. Chin up, it is not easy for Mums returning to work, leaving bubs in care.

Melissa - posted on 05/17/2010

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Do they have the key worker system at that day care? In UK they have one member of staff who specifically looks after your child. During the first few weeks of nursery this is the person who communicates with the parents and who the parents can ask questions to about their child's day.

In nursery this is who the child forms a close bond to, so for example if they are feeling overwhelmed they can go to their key worker for support, ie a cuddle or some other form of reassurance.
It makes the child feel more secure and know where to turn to when feeling upset.

If He's only been there one week I wouldn't get too concerned at the minute. One week in the life of a one year old is a long time. See how he gets on for another week so much could change and u may be surprised.

Kenitra - posted on 05/16/2010

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Whatever you do, do not try to sneak out while someone tries to distract him. Give him hugs and kisses and let him know you will be back later. He will become more secure knowing that you will be back, than if you try to deceive him by sneaking out.

Emily - posted on 05/16/2010

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Hi claudia,
I am an owner of a family daycare. Many little ones do cry when they 1st start daycare but it will past it could pastin a week or a few. if you are questioning the daycare, I would recommend stoping in a differnet times of the day to see what is goijng on. Also talk to other parents of the center. I would also find out what type of expericne the teachers have working with children. many times at a center base there are alot of young teachers that my not have the experince with the infants. Hope my advice will help. Emily

Nichele - posted on 05/16/2010

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I think there is something going on there. My daughter did the same thing and one day I circled back and found her just laying on the floor in the corner crying all alone. I took her out of there immediately and she was fine after that.

Yazmyn - posted on 05/16/2010

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He's going to be fine, its quite normal for them to react that way to the separation from you, he'll get use, but dont expect it to be right now. They are soo used to having us around all the time, its really hard for them to get adjusted.Give him time and watch him improve a little every day, remeber he's only a year old.

Stacy - posted on 05/15/2010

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Ahhh honey...I'm so sorry....as a 25+ year worker in day care..it is so hard when they cry....I suggest you keep taking him...do NOT linger...say you love him...let him know you are coming back to get him and go. He will get used to it. Some kids take a little longer than others. It just breaks your heart I know. When I came back to the center I'm at right now..my son was 2...he would cry off and on and I was there (hoping he didn't see me...I would catch him playing and he would see me and cry) They used to tell me he would stand in front of the mirror and watch himself cry.

I promise it does get better. HOWEVER...do you get the feeling they are comforting him? how do they great him in the mornings? He will bond with the teachers and other children in no time I'm sure...he just misses you and doesn't understand. If it is a good center they will tell you the truth (he is still crying etc.. like yours seems too) I don't suggest your coming in the middle of the day unless you can take him home...that is very confusing...if you can sneak and peak in on him than do that (it is something we encourage our parents to do)

Good luck and let us know how it turns out!

Christina - posted on 05/15/2010

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our daughter had been in daycare since she was 3 months old because that is when i had to go back to work...we recently changed her daycare and it was about 2 weeks before she turned a year old...this was really hard on her because she knew all the teachers at the old daycare and so it took her 2 weeks to get used it the new place...now she loves it!!
give him a few weeks to get used to it...it may be harder because he hasn't been away from you like mine had but he should still get used to it as long as you make like its not a big deal...i call it going to school and she loves it now!

Claire - posted on 05/15/2010

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My son is 2 and half and my mum (who is also a childminder) looks after him 4 days a week whilst I work. He cries most days when I leave him (been going since 9 months) and most of the time it is a 1 minute thing. Sometimes its far worse and he just wants to stay home, play with me and his toys. But I have seen this from both angles. My mum has looked after other peoples kids since I was a baby, so I have seen many kids coming in and crying in front of parents, and then playing with toys happily 2 minutes later. It is really tough to see your own child so distressed, but I know he is happy. When I get to my mums to pick him up he wants me to stay and play with him and all of his friends. I know I am lucky, I have the confidence and trust in my mum. Its still hard at the time they are crying and you have tried everything to make it better.

Kimberly - posted on 05/15/2010

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I work in a daycare. abd the transition time for any child is 2 weeks or more. it just takes time it will get better.. please let me know if i can be of some help

Carol - posted on 05/15/2010

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Have you thought about an Au Pair? Live-in child care can be less stressful for everyone. check out www.aupairinamerica.com.
All the best with this tough situation, Carol :-)

Julie - posted on 05/14/2010

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Instead of a center, we chose to use an at-home daycare that is just our daughter (7.5 mo) and two other toddlers (sometimes there are a 2 or 3 older kids when there is no school). She absolutely loves going and has the biggest smile when she sees the other two kids and her daycare lady. They are truly like another family.

Michelle - posted on 05/14/2010

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My daughter just finished her second week of daycare.... You are not alone. At first she was perfect angel and seems with time she is getting more aprehensive and dosen't want to go there:( She cringes when I pull in the drive way of the Daycare, but when I go to the front door she puts her arms out for her caregiver... I have been a stay at home mommy for the past 2 plus years-you gotta understand this adjustment could take months-or so I heard, but if your comfortable with your caretaker-just know he's in good hands and your son will adjust.

Kerry - posted on 05/14/2010

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I'm due to go back to work in June so I started my 11 1/2 month old son in daycare part time to get him settled before I start work. He's only been there a week and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I totally understand and my heart goes out to you. My son has cried everytime I've left him and when I call half an hour later they tell me he's fine. I've yet to leave him there for a full day. We'll see how that goes. I cry everytime I walk home after dropping him off. I hope that I'm doing the right thing. I'm giving it until the end of May to make sure that he's happy and feels safe. I'm sure that he'll be ok there but I never expected to feel the way that I do.

Michelle - posted on 05/14/2010

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that is so normal! it could happen like that from day to day, some days its easy for them and some days they remeber your gone and are sad!
I do childcare at home and for the last 7 years I've seen many children who even at 9 years old after a while just have a sad miss my mom day!
maybe put a picture, note or drawing in his bag to cheer him up!

[deleted account]

As hard as it is, don't go visit him at lunch time. You confuse him and he doesn't understand why you aren't taking him home.

As someone who does home child care and has also worked in a center for many years it is always rough on both child and parent the first couple of weeks.
Everyone has to adjust to the new routine, new schedule and new place.
He will eat when he is comfortable. Be prepared with a snack at pick up time for the first couple of weeks, don't show it to him, but find out from the teacher how he ate and if you need to offer the snack.
Keep everything in his routine leading up to being dropped off at day care the same. Talk to him about it as you go through each step. Some kids take to day care with no issues and others can take as long as 1-2 months.
The hardest part is fighting the urge to come visit because it sends mixed messages unless you can do it every day at the same time and not be disturbing the routine of the classroom (I am assuming he is a center of some sort if he has a teacher versus a day care provider). And I would only start doing that after he is completely adjusted and familiar with his class.
Generally by the second week children start eating at their day care. It may not be much but, they will at least eat something.
By the third or fourth week most are eating pretty normal for what ever normal is for them.

Hang in there. It will be tough for a little while. Also realize that going 5/5 days of the week is actually easier on the little ones then 3/5. The rationale is that they can cope better knowing everything will be the same each day. It's actually why I dreaded Mondays for a long long time when working in a center with the young ones because they would all have off days being grumpy about coming back t day care.

Good luck!

Kathy - posted on 05/13/2010

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My 14 month old son loves his daycare and his caregivers, but still sometimes cries when I get ready to leave. He's been in daycare since he was 5 months old and I used to nurse him on my lunch hour, one of the things I've noticed is that the older babies have a harder time adjusting at first than the littler ones who haven't reached the separation anxiety stage yet. Give it a little more time, if he finds a caregiver there that he can bond with, that will help him (although it may hurt you from time to time, just remind yourself that it's good that he is happy). But, like some posters said, you might also need to find a different daycare provider. Not that the one you have is bad, it just might not be right for him.

Kathryn - posted on 05/13/2010

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my daughter first started daycare when she was 18 months old...and for the first 2 weeks she cried/screamed all day except for the 15/20 min where she would pass out from being so tired...she finally got attached to one of her teachers(who is no longer there but still watches my daughter on occassions) on the 3rd week she was fine....she is 4 now and there are still days where when i take her to school(as she calls it) she cries and doesn't want to go but usually about 10 min after i leave she is fine...it is just an adjustment period that they go through..once she realized that i wasn't leaving her for good and i was coming back she was fine....have you tried letting him take a favorite toy or whatever it is he is attached to ( for my daughter it is a pillow) i also know at my daughters daycare they ask that you bring in a blanket from home for naps...sometimes it helps to have something from home..

Kathie - posted on 05/12/2010

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Hi- My daughter is now 5 and has been in daycare since she was 4 months old- Her first daycare everytime I picked her up she was crying/screaming. I would get a sheet each day and it would tell me how much she drank/ate and how much she slept (see if you can get one of those) She has had a "friend" of sorts that was brought each day with her (something familiar from home) She only lasted 4 months at that daycare. She loved her next daycare- when she was able to walk I use to have to chase her around the room (that's a good thing) Than we moved last year in June- she started her new daycare in September- stopped sleeping through the night, was clingy again and was so out the door when I picked her up, we once again changed daycares in Feburary of this year and now when we pick her up she gets mad if we pick her up to soon. They say you need to give it at least a month so give it some time but go with your mothers instinct- at that age your child can't tell you what's wrong- even at 4-5 a child may not be able to tell you what's wrong- How is your son at home after you pick him up? Definately do the suprise visits and if you can have family members peak in. Also at one your son is going to start to go through seperation anxiety so that could be part of it as well.

Danielle - posted on 05/12/2010

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i work a a center and they will do that for a few days till he find some one to bond with then he will be ok. if he has never been i a day care it may take a few more weeks but he will get throw it. you can try sending him a shrit that you have slept in so when he starts to cry they can give that and it may help but check with you rcenter frist some centers say that its best to just let it go an he will stop soon. i will get better as the dats go. just keep calling to see how he is and dont give up

Dora - posted on 05/12/2010

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I recommend do a surprise visit and see how he is really doing. He may be going through separation anxiety or he may not be happy with that day care. Either way you need to find out or you will not be able to relax. We didn't place our son into daycare until he was approx. 14 months old. He did have some separation anxiety going on but just to make me feel at ease and to make sure he was truly doing okay I made quite a few surprise visits and I also had my sister and mom make surprise visit. Another reason why I recommend surprise visits because our son will realize you will come get him everyday and it my be at different times. Also to see their little face light up when you have surprised them is priceless. My son will be turning 2 this Friday and he is now loving day care.

But please always listen to your gut. Don't ignore or try to rationalize any negative feelings or thought you may have about a particular daycare or person. It is your body's way of warning you that something may be wrong. I really hope everything works out for you and your son. Children need to laugh and smile not cry.

Margaret - posted on 05/12/2010

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First of all, take a deep breath...UR a Mother (a working Mother, I'm guessing), and UR taking care of your family.

Your son is about to turn one, so right there, he's dealing with a LOT all at once. It's not YOUR FAULT! It's called growing up. He's probably teething, his body is changing, growth spurt, etc. So, the daycare atmosphere w/ U not being there is a lot for him, too. This is a HUGE adjustment for him AND you. Be flexible and open to the fact that this new routine in your family won't adjust overnight, it takes time. The crying is going to happen, just have to deal w/ that and not let YOURSELF fall apart in front of him.

If he's not eating, it could be that he associates mealtimes w/ you being w/ him, and since UR not there, he can't express that yet, so that's probably why he cries. (Remember: babies cry for LOTS of reasons...boredom, loneliness, teething, tired, separation anxiety, etc.).

Underneath his attachment syndrome w/ U, he KNOWS that U love him, that U want what's best for him. As long as U stay calm when he gets upset EVERY TIME u leave him @ daycare, or when U leave the room @ home, etc., he'll learn over time that U will be back.

Find out from your supervisor/manager if U can be flexible w/ when U start and end your shift/schedule @ work. See if U can work things out w/ co-workers w/ covering for you if U run late or need 2 leave early. Talk to your co-workers who drop off their kids @ daycare, I'm sure that they can be supportive and understanding.

Stick w/ the daycare....Like I wrote, he'll adjust accordingly. Find out from daycare if U can bring his favorite toy or "snuggle" item (bear, dog, etc.), favorite book, but keep it VERY minimal (1 snuggle toy, 1 book). Explain to the daycare teachers what he's going through, what he needs, etc....ask them 2 txt U during the day so that U don't worry about him so much. The fact that U can drop by during lunch is great, just explain to your son that U only came by for lunch and U have to go back to work....maybe do lunch w/ him once a week (too frequently might confuse him). Talk to your pediatrician, too.

Look, every family does what they have to do to function/operate cooperatively. However, kids are kids, they're gonna do what they're gonna do. As parents, we just HAVE 2 find strength to hang in there and tell ourselves that we'll get through it.

Good luck, I hope I was helpful :)

Sonja - posted on 05/11/2010

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Give it Time. Eventually he will be crying because you are their to pick him up.

Sinthia - posted on 05/11/2010

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Hi! Claudia, I am a preschool teacher and this is normal for your little one. He is used to being with you and it will take him some time to adjust and get to bond with other adults and kids besides his family. Be patience and do check on him as often as you can. Give him a couple of weeks and see if he progresses. Good luck with everything .
Sinthia

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I'm a daycare teacher and I understand it's gotta be hard, especially rsince he's so young. Believe me he won't starve. I f he's hungry enough he'll eat. Don't bring him food, he'll quickly figure out if he doesn't eat what's provided mommy will come. Try and stick it out another week. It takes at least that long to adjust to new people, routine and surroundings. I don't mean to sound harsh, but he truly will be ok. He's not crying all day, just on and off which is a good sign. Good Luck. I know it's easier said than done.

Sylvia - posted on 05/11/2010

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I thought of something else, which he's maybe a little young for right now but it's a good habit to get into. We used to go through the routine (the daycare should have this posted somewhere, with photos for parents who aren't proficient in English -- at least, that's the law where I live) before I left, so I would say "First you'll eat breakfast, and then you'll go outside to play, and then you'll eat lunch, and then you'll have a nap, and then you'll have a snack, and then you'll play outside again, and then Mummy will come to pick you up!" Or whatever. Obviously for babies there won't be such a set routine -- babies need to eat and nap when they need to eat and nap, you can't put them on a schedule -- but if you have sort of a vague idea of the order things are likely to happen in, that can be a help; it makes it easier for the kiddo to figure out when to expect you back, you know?

Also, the person who mentioned the sticker album reminds me of another great idea someone told me about: making a little photo album of family pics to keep at daycare.

If the daycare teachers are patient and cheerful and kind, then it'll work out. If they start making negative comments about "behaviour" or suggesting that there's something wrong with the fact that your little guy is having a tough time making the transition, then you may have an actual problem (but not with the baby!) and need to look for alternative care.

Dyna - posted on 05/11/2010

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As someone who works at a daycare, sometimes you just have to let the little one cry. It usually takes the child a week or two before they settle down. And a month before they actually like being there! Always say, "i will be back later!" It also depends on the teacher or daycare person. They have to be patient and very "motherly!"

Pam - posted on 05/11/2010

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The advice above is very good. They will all go through the phase of crying and usually more than once. I don't want to sound pessimistic but also listen to your gut. Give it about a month or so and if things don't seem to be getting better I would question the competency of the caregiver/s. I had to pull my daughter out of a daycare because I kept getting nothing but negative comments concerning her behavior and come to find out that half the teachers there were very young and had no children of their own so had no idea how to handle a lot of situations.

Marcy - posted on 05/11/2010

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Honestly its really tough but if it is the right caycare it will pass. My son was in daycare up until he turned 2 then he went to preschool. His first month at the school was so hard...he cried every morning and clung to me. I used to leave the parking lot sobbing. I tried everything...staying with him longer in the morning, giving him special blankets and stuffed animals, just walking in dropping him off and then leaving and even giving him a picture to have of his family. It just takes time.

What did work for us was I went to the store and bought a cheap little photo album and tons of stickers. I cut them up and put them in the album and called them "No crying stickers". Everyday when we got to school he got to pick out two stickers as long as he didn't cry. It really did help. He would put them on his hands and show his teachers that he was a big boy. Now he is almost 4 and when I drop him off at school in the morning and he sees kids cry he will say to me "Mommy, he needs a no crying sticker.". Just be strong, make sure you are 100% comfortable with his caregiver and know that it will be okay.

Cledia - posted on 05/11/2010

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Thank you all for the advise. Sylvia, thank you for taking the time to share your story. It really helped me and made me feel optimistic. He does have a blanket he takes with him. He used to be attached to it but now more than ever. The teachers say he will not let it go not even when they are trying to feed him. My husband and I have decided to give it a month to see how he adapts. I will try all your suggestions. Thank you once again.

Jackie - posted on 05/10/2010

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Dont know what to tell you except that maybe you have the wrong sitter. My son got kicked out of his first daycare in 4 hours. He was 2 at the time. The next daycare has never had any problems with him at all.

Tabatha - posted on 05/10/2010

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I see your already having trouble with daycare. would you rather be working at home and be with your family at the same time? join the community work-from-home-business and check out my job opportunity i have for you.

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