4 YEAR OLD DOES NOT WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL

Zeenith - posted on 02/28/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My four year old daughter does not want to go to school. She started pre school this year. She was excited the first two days of school and then after that she just gave up. She told me yesterday that she would rather stay at home then go to school and she said that it did not matter which school I wanted to enrol her in.

I now am considering withdrawing her from the school and getting her a homeschooling stuff.

I do not seem to understand why a four year old would not want to go to school: before school started she was pestering me to start school and then she just gave up. I bought her shoes, bag, uniform, books everything but that did not seem to motivate her. I am not sure if she is bored at school or not - I am not sure at all.

Is this normal behavior for 4 year olds? I want the best for my daughter, and education is very very important. she is my only child and I put everything into her upbringing.

I do not know the right thing to do - PLEASE help me!!!

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Kimberly - posted on 03/13/2011

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I agree with the others that posted that you should speak with the teachers. Also take a look at the curriculum. A high quality preschool does not have the main focus be on academics. At this stafe in a child's development the main goal of preschool is to get them socially ready for kindergarten. Academics should be introduced but not forced on the children. At this age the children learn so much through their play and the majoroty of the day should be spent doing that. If the teachers have the experience and education they will know how to incorporate learning into the activities the children do without forcing it it on them. If you can, take a day and just observe the class. Are the children required to sit more than 15 minutes at a time? Are they told they have to do something they do not want to do? Are they allowed to freely explore the environment and learn at their own pace? Also if your daughter is advanced she may be getting bored. Are they finding ways to keep her challenged? I agree witht eh other poster also that you should not pull her out especially after such a short time because it is teaching her it is ok to quit without trying. Good luck to you and her.

Brooke - posted on 03/03/2011

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Definitely talk to the teachers. Don't pull her out of school - she will just get her way then and she will learn that is how everything will be solved, by quitting. Maybe she doesn't like sharing attention. That is one of my son's biggest problems. He likes to always have everyone watching him because he's outgoing. Were the kids in a class together last year? They may be leaving her out - I know that happened in my son's school - the kids that did 3 yr old preschool left the new kids out because they had their own friends. Definitely talk to the teacher.

Jessica - posted on 03/02/2011

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Then I think Amy's suggestion about talking to the teachers would be a good idea because there maybe something about the school that she doesn't like or someone she is having problems with.

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Mireille - posted on 03/08/2011

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I suggest you work it out with the school to stay with your daughter until she feels comfortable making friends and getting involve in scjool activities, The school have ways to get parent involve both in the child and school activities. She is your only child that should be easy to get involve in her school activities during the day. An only child is attached to her mom but needs the social involvement in school to become independent. Eventually your 4 year old will be able to stay in school without you but stay with her as long as she needs you to be in the school with her then slowly let go.

Zeenith - posted on 03/02/2011

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My daughter is very very outgoing! I don't understand why she does not want to go to school.

Jessica - posted on 03/02/2011

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My daughter was the same way. Is your child a shy child or very outgoing? My daughter was shy and didn't like going because she had trouble making friends but once she did she started wanting to go to school. She now loves school and doesn't want to come home.

Amy - posted on 02/28/2011

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First of all set up a meeting with the teacher and see what insight she has. Bring a list of questions such as is she interacting with the other students? Are there any that she seems to avoid or has had conflict with? How is she with the teacher? Is she engaged in the school work and activities? Based on how the teacher answers explain your concern and what your daughter is saying about school.
Keep in mind 4 year olds can be very smart and deceptive at times (at least I know mine is), so it could be possible that she is telling you this to make you feel guilty for sending her in the first place. She could also be saying this because she doesn't want you to know that she's really enjoying it. I would definitely start by meeting with the school and trying to get their perception on the situation. If you believe that a home schooling environment is best for her I would finish out this school year. Then I would start finding activities where she can still get the necessary interaction with kids her own age, but it could just be she doesn't like this particular school. Good luck!

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