Am I the only one

Shiree - posted on 11/16/2008

You are definately not alone. I work outside of the home because I have to, but not that I am, I can't see going back the other way. Samara is getting the socialization and education that she needed, while I am getting the grown-up interaction and finacial stability I need. Sure, it is hard most of the times, and I am tired all of the time, but I prayed to have her in my life and I need to do right by her, and I feel that I am on the right track.

Shawna - posted on 11/12/2008

Jessica you are not the only one, I to am a working mom and I love it. I work in the mornings and my husband works at night. I love it because he gets to spend lots of quality time with our two boys ages 3 and 10 months. He has such a special bond with them, and he takes a certain amount of pride in the fact that he can take care of the boys by himself, which is so cute!

Angela - posted on 11/11/2008

I love going to work!! I have 4 kids, ages 9, 3, 2, 1 and sometimes going to work helps me keep my sanity!!! LOL My husband works during the day and I work in the evenings so we both get parent times with the kids and we both get adult time or at least some time to talk to adults at work.

Jennifer - posted on 11/11/2008

I tried the part time work, but I really like my job, and I found myself craving adult interaction without discussion of children. I try very hard to leave work behind and focus on my kids the rest of the time!
The daycare I found is incredible and I have no qualms with the kids being there!

I think everyone is happy and life is much easier!

Samantha - posted on 11/11/2008

I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY, I RETURNED TO WORK WHEN MY LITTLE ONE WAS JUST 7 MNTHS AND PAYING FOR CHILDCARE IS A NIGHTMARE, BUT AT LEAST I CAN SAY THAT IM CONTRIBUTING AS WELL AS THE DADDY... THE WOULD HATE TO STAY AT HOME AND NOT BEABLE TO AFFORD THE THINGS MY BABES NEEDS AND WANTS, ALSO IT DOES GIVE ME A CHANCE TO HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF ME TIME, WHICH I THINK EVERY MOTHER NEEDS FROM TIME TO TIME..

Melanie - posted on 11/11/2008

Heck No! I work outside the home and do not feel guilty at all. I make sure to spend quality time with my son, Elijah, everyday and I am lucky to have work hours that allow me to do that. I don't think I could be a stay at home Mom (God Bless them). My ideal would be to work part-time, but for now I have to work full-time.

Tammy - posted on 11/10/2008

I so agree! I'm a better mom because I'm stimulating the brain and my education every day. I feel my daughter is learning great social skills at her dayschool to make her ready for Elem School next year. I have to give it to the stay at home moms though. I just knew early on I couldn't be one - emotionally or mentally.

Rachel - posted on 11/10/2008

I like working because it gives me a sense of pride, like I am making a difference. I am the sole provider for my son,s o I have no other choice but to work. I don't feel guilty though, because I am setting an example for him. I don't think any mother, single or married, should ever feel guilty or ashamed that they work outside the home!!

Taylor - posted on 11/09/2008

I love it, but the fact I love it makes me feel guilty. I'm very lucky in the fact that my husband is home all day with kids (aged 2 years and 7 months), but I know he feels guilty he's not the one out there making the money, that man complex (this guilt thing is a vicious cycle). It doesn't help that my sister in law hasn't gone back to work after having her son who just started kindergarten, and as far as I know, has no plans to, but is a single mother, and makes me feel guilty for going back to work when I don't "have" to. gah.

Kathleen - posted on 11/09/2008

sometimes it's hard to balance. my daughter ALWAYS comes first... but hey... bills gotta get paid. and the fact of the matter is... my job needs me. i miss a day i spend a week trying to catch up. i know sometimes they get irritated if my daughter is sick and i'm not coming in, and i feel guilty about that... but i would feel even more guilty if i left her with someone else when she needed me. so that part is kind of complicated.



but i absolutely love providing for my daughter. we're dependant on only me. and at the end of the day when all the bills are paid, the house is spotless, there's food on the table and new clothes on my daughters back, i feel SO proud of myself.



working also gives me a social outlet, as when i'm not working... i'm at home. i love the quality time with my daughter. our inside jokes, our conversations (well... the conversations you can have with a little girl about to turn 2) her helping me cook and clean, and cuddles. but i also love the fact that i'm (hopefully) showing her that she can do things on her own... and she doesn't ever need to be in a negative situation with ANYONE, because women are strong enough to make it on their own.



plus having friends at work (and i've met some truly amazing people there) has been a huge positive influence on my life. when i was pregnant i lost a lot of my friends. the friends i had from before birth are long gone now... they just can't comprehend the lifestyle of being a parent... it's 24/7, 365 days a year. the friends i've made since then know me as a mother, and love me as a mother and a friend. they don't expect me to go to the bar with them... but they're more than happy to go to lunch, or come over and hang out, knowing my daughter will be there too... and hey... they love her!



i was an absolute wreck when my ex and i first seperated. my daughter was 3 months old. i started working when she was 6 months and through the different people i've met and the different experiences i've had i've grown into a totally different person. i was so lucky to fall into a situation with so many increadibly sweet, understanding, and genuinely kind people. they lifted me up, and showed me how to be good to myself. because of that, i'm a better mother. i'm so much stronger than i've ever been... and i think that if i would've just stayed home i would've gone into a deep depression. i'm so proud of where i am now, and the influence that it has on my daughter.



everyday i look forward to going to work... my best friends are there. they love seeing my daughter, and they love seeing me. i can even bring her in with me while i work sometimes.



the point is, although the career/family balance is tough (it ALWAYS will be) i feel as though working has enriched my life in a way nothing else could have.

Dannielle - posted on 11/08/2008

I'm a single mom, I work full time, am a member of PAC and a student myself. I never feel guilty because I know my daughter is well looked after and loved. She gets more attention then she can handle sometimes I think. Being a strong woman who is confident in all she does is the best thing you can be for your daughter. Better to be a hardworking mom then an anorexic model for your daughter to look up to.

Erin - posted on 11/08/2008

I am also a single mom who works and goes to school and I love it...I am lucky that my daughter is in school and is taken care of by my mother whenever i cant be with her...I think it is good for my daughter to see that women can have a family and work and make it all work....

Heidi - posted on 11/08/2008

I am a single mom who goes to school, and work. And u know what I love it. This shows my daughter that single moms can do it. I am a good role model for my daughter, I stress the importance of education to her all the time. she is seeing me work hard everday and she knows everything we have is do to hard work. Aurora is aware that mom needs to work to keep a roof over her head put food on the table, and pay the bills.

Kelly - posted on 11/08/2008

I am really glad to see that I am not the only one who enjoys my work and my family. I would like to be home more than I am, but I would go 'crazy'!

Erin - posted on 11/08/2008

I don't feel too guilty only because I am part time and my mom takes care of my kids. I enjoy my job and I know that my kids are well taken care of. I think it would be harder for me if I were full time only because of the lack of time with my family. I am very grateful that I don't have to work full time and that I can watch my kids grow up and be there for some of the firsts that a lot of moms end up missing out on from being gone all day

Bonnie - posted on 11/08/2008

I agree with you. I work outside of the home aswell.And I love it, there are times I feel gyilty cause I leave my son at 9 am, and dont see him till 5:30 pm....on the other hand, I am a single mother that has no choice either.But even I was still in a relationship..I wouldnt change it, I love my career, and Im giving my child the opportunity to see that its ok, and being a good role model.

Erica - posted on 11/08/2008

You are definetely not the only one. I love to work outside the home as well. It gives me a way to work my brain and feel like I am helping out with bills, etc. I enjoy working. I am lucky enough to be a Director of a Day Care center. My son is in school but gets to come with me after school because we have an after school program. My 6 month old will get to come with me when she turns 1. I have worked in day care for a total of 6 years now and just enjoy it everyday. Don't ever feel guilty about working outside the home. Everyone is built differently and thinks differently. That is what makes us who we are!

Barbara - posted on 11/08/2008

As someone who works in the mental health field, I know that I would go "crazy" if I didn't work outside the home. Fortunately, I love what I do so I guess that helps to ease any guilt I may have about having my son in day care all day 5 days a week. I worked really hard to build a career for myself and that's not something I foresee myself ever giving up...no matter how many children I have. Honestly, I see work as a much needed break from my strong-willed and very active 3-year-old. God bless stay at home moms, because I know I could never do what they do.

Sarah - posted on 11/08/2008

I so agree! I love my career and I love my family. I respect the stay at home moms so much, there is no way I could do it. I feel more well rounded, happier and I know I am a better mom becuase of it.

Sierra - posted on 11/08/2008

I don't have my dream job or anything, but going back to work definitely helped me to relax a bit more and appreciate my son because I wasn't feeling so overwhelmed with taking care of him 24/7. I was stopped breastfeeding after the first few weeks back to work as well, and so it helped me to not be so sleep deprived being the only one to wake up at night, as well. I really felt strongly about wanting him to be breastfed, but I think the relationship I have with my son is more important. He is absolutely thriving and my mental health is, too. Guilt is something every mom is faced with, but I choose my battles. :)

Melissa - posted on 11/08/2008

Wow can I just say I am so happy that I'm not alone. I felt guilty that I didn't feel guilty for leaving my son at day care (if that makes any sense). I found a great daycare that is actually affordable and my dream job. I wouldn't stop working even if I could. Sitting around the house all day would drive me crazy, even with my little man, I know I had 6 weeks of it. LOL. For my sanity and relationships it's best I work. The best part of my day is picking up my son and going home to be with the hubby and him!

Elisabeth - posted on 11/08/2008

I agree! Not only does it feel good to be able to put some of my own money towards the everyday living expenses but it also feels good to let your kids know that yes you can still be apart and no matter what you will still love them, its about spending quality time with your children not quantity.

Georgen - posted on 11/08/2008

I think I'm making an important contribution to my community as well as my family, and think that's a great model for my child. My mother stayed at home and hated it, and resented her kids.



The only thing that bugs me about working outside the home is the high number of people who try to make me feel guilty about it. People mention some cool mom class taking place on Wednesday at 10 am and when I mention that I have a job, they shake their heads.



I refuse to feel guilty about not being rich and needing a job. It's ridiculous.

Meg - posted on 11/07/2008

I think that working outside my house gives my son the opportunity to learn more and to experience more things. I am fortunate where while I am paying someone to watch him for me it is at a person's home and something that is much more homelike. That and it is not horrifically expensive and the best part in my opinion is that he considers them a third set of grandparents. To me that makes it so much easier to go to work everyday.

Nalani - posted on 11/07/2008

I heard a study once that children of a working mom are better adjusted as adults. The boys have more realistic expectations of their wives and the girls have better self asteem and feel as though they can do anything they want. I stayed at home for my boys first 2 years then went back to work. I sometimes ewish I could be home to do more with them, but I think I have a better relationship with them because i truely treasure and make the most of the time we do spend with each other. Plus I love my job.

Kelline - posted on 11/07/2008

I love my kids, but I love my job too. I find a balance. Sometimes it's hard, but I have wonderful daycare and I go nuts at home! I like the office interaction and adult conversation!

Heather - posted on 11/07/2008

Yay!!!! It's so nice to hear from other moms who feel free to admit they love to work. I LOVE my job! I can't imagine not doing it and I feel like a good role model for my daughters. Plus, it gives me a level of independence that's important for my own psyche. The key to happy kids is to have your time together be good quality and I feel like most of the time it is. And I don't beat myself up about it when it's not. Sometimes we're all tired and a half hour watching spongebob after dinner isn't going to warp anyone's brain.

It's a personal decision and you have to do what's right for you, but let's hear it for NOT feeling guilty about being a working mom!

Candi - posted on 11/07/2008

I am with you! I do admire and respect moms who love being a SAHM and who thrive on that. After my 12 weeks off when my son was born I was climbing the walls to get back to work. I love my job and I feel like a more rounded person with it. I just don't have the patience needed to be a SAHM.

Jennifer - posted on 11/07/2008

I used to be a stay at home mom, but my husband thought I was turning into Martha Stewart and told me to find something outside of the house. Since then, I have gone back to school and work as well and I love it. My kids and husband are supportive. I guess I am tired of the feeling guilty issue and feel proud that I am a contributor to the family instead of housemaid. The house is not as clean, but my family works together on this. I agree with a lot of these moms that I am a better mom because I work. It is unfortunate and frustrating that some can not understand that.

Mindy - posted on 11/05/2008

Nope! I love going to work, its really the only time I get away from my 5 year old. I only work part time so I am home with her all morning, then again at night after work. She's a very "strong willed" ;) little girl and very frustrating at times so work is my little escape.

Lisa - posted on 11/05/2008

I love working and love my son, I think it sets a good example and gives me time to spend quality time. We have lots of sporting events and enjoy our dinners, evenings and weekends. I would definately need some professional counseling if I had to stay at home all day. I admire the mom's that find this their calling.

Kathy - posted on 11/05/2008

You're definitely not alone. I was not made to be a stay-at-home mom (while I admire those who feel it's their calling--I feel like I would lose my mind). I love my career and I hope my daughter will gain confidence from my example. I'm fortunate that my husband was able to go to seasonal work so he could take the bulk of child-care, house-work, etc. We both are given a hard time from some about our 'unusual' arrangement...but we know we're doing the right thing for us. And I'm sure I'm a better mom because I feel fulfilled and challenged.

Leslie - posted on 11/05/2008

I LOVE it! I found my daughter a fabulous daycare that really works with her so she is getting an education while we are away. The only part that stresses me out is making dinner every night.

Kimberly - posted on 11/05/2008

I agree! My family is dependent on me working but I ENJOY working. I think it serves as a great role model for my daughter, too!

Ashiyana - posted on 11/05/2008

I agree too! I love my job and working makes me a more well rounded person and I'm a better mom because of it! My little one just turned 1.

Katie - posted on 11/05/2008

I'm with you! I love being a working mom. I balance work & family life & it's great. I tell people I'm a better mom because I work. Granted, both my kids are in school now, but I've worked since they were babies. I wouldn't change it if I had to.