Am I the only one that makes my husband's lunch every morning?

Sandra - posted on 11/12/2009 ( 62 moms have responded )

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Every morning I have to wake up early enough so that I make my husband's,

and my 2 kids (ages 11 & 7) lunches. Most of the time the night before my

kids will get their snacks together so in the morning I just make their sand-

wiches, but I feel like my hubby can get up 10 min early to make his own lunch

or atleast help. When I bring that to his attention he thinkgs I'm crazy, that

that's somehting I should be doing especially if I'm already making my kids

lunches. It's just getting really old!! Should I just suck it up and not complain

about this little stuff?

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Zoey - posted on 11/12/2009

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if your husband has to get up and go to work and you are getting up early to make the lunches then i would tell him to make his lunch and make the kids lunches too because he is already up. there is no reason why he should not be doing that. does he do other things around the house? does he pull his weight? do you work? the final answer rests in the answers to all those questions. but when my husband refused to help i threw a can opener and a can of tuna in his lunch box with a fork. he picked up real quick that if he wanted a lunch that was worth eating he would make it himself. if you dont make his lunch it doesnt mean that you dont love him. like i told my husband, im not your mother. we are a team. help me and i will help you.

Krystal - posted on 11/13/2009

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Well, I must say, you're a much better wife than I might be. I don't wake up early to fix anyone's lunch in my house. They eat at school. As for the husband, his lunch is whatever I cooked for dinner, because he works nights. Here's the question, is making his lunch in the morning the only thing that's bothering you? It seems trivial to an outsider, because you're already making the kids lunch so what's an extra sandwich. But my guess is that there's something else fueling your frustration. Write it down then talk with him about how you're really feeling about "making his lunch"

Sarah - posted on 11/07/2011

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i definitely do not make my husbands lunch and when it comes to the kids lunches we generally take turns. Also your 11 yr old could probably handle making their own lunch too :)

Katie - posted on 02/19/2010

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i used to get up in the morning when i was pregnant with my son and make his dads lunch, but i got tired of making it, just for him not to eat it, so i just stopped and he had to make his own lunch or he would go buy his lunch.

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62 Comments

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Elizabeth - posted on 10/31/2011

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Does he do something for you, an equal chore? I cook and my husband does the dishes. I'd say we're about a 40/60 in sharing, I think that's great when I hear other bad stories. Men just aren't mommies or wives.

Kitty - posted on 10/08/2011

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makeing lunches are fine unless you know your gonna get somethin from it later on !!!!

Cidalia - posted on 02/18/2010

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@ Monique .. .suck it up?

I've been a wife and I've been a single mom after a divorce, and now I have a man again, and I swear, I'm getting fed up packing his lunches. I go to school full-time, I work, I take care of the kids and the household. I know he works long and hard, but dammit, packing his lunch is one little thing he can do for himself. I'm getting tired of everyone relying on me. He sure as hell doesn't pack me a lunch if I'm the first one leaving in the morning. So, I'm not feeling particularly grateful these days at having a man. As lonely as it can be without a hubby, it's a lot easier in other ways.

Melissa - posted on 12/04/2009

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My husband says you don't love me anymore -That's why you don't make my lunch .Not true .But he is a big boy and I am not getting up @ 5am to make anyone's lunch .

Marta - posted on 12/04/2009

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I don't see why would making him a lunch would have to be a "must" for you. How about him making you a lunch once? And your boys are pretty big already, let them make their own sandwiches.

Patricia - posted on 12/01/2009

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Alright, so I have read ALL the responses. Some irritate me and some I agree with. For starters, TALK to your husband and tell him what you are feeling and ask him for his input. I try to pack my boyfriend's lunch as often as I can. When we first got together, I packed it everyday, Now that the baby stays up later, I stay up later and just don't have the uummpph to get up early in the morning. So, if we have something he will eat as leftovers, I make sure there is an extra bowl of it in the frig so he can grab it and go. I do however make him dinner every night, even those nights when he doesn't walk in the door til after 9pm. I think the whole key is to talk to the other person in your life and explain how you are feeling. They don't know you are frustrated unless we tell them. Good luck with this.

Lauren - posted on 12/01/2009

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I make my lunch and his lunch the night before. I have no 1 minute extra in the morning!

HOLLY - posted on 12/01/2009

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no i do... well i try any how... his new work schedule is a little harder!!! he now gets up for work at 430 and leaves the house at 530... and I have the kids to get up at 630 for school... so the lunch packing days have slowed down for the most part... it is good...

suprise him with a hidden love note.. once in a while... I loved doing that for him!!!

Laura - posted on 11/30/2009

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It's a nice gesture to do from time to time but should not be an expectation. I love it when my husband makes me my lunch when he has time, I so appreciate it. But I remember when we were first married I told him I was not his mother and he could make his own lunch. It's never been an issue.

Jennifer - posted on 11/29/2009

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I put together his lunch and snacks the night before and put it in the fridge for him to pick up in the morning. He actually gets up at 3:45 in the morning and says he is lucky he puts his clothes on straight. I am also making sure he is sticking to our diet of snacking between meals. When I don't make his bag of food the night before he does not complain but he does not grab any snacks or stick to our diet.

Danielle - posted on 11/28/2009

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i always used to make my partners lunch but when my daughter started becoming alot more active and waking up early i thought enough is enough and just simply stopped making his lunch its laziness on there behalf when we have the kids to worry about first thing in the morning where as they just get themselves ready.

Misty - posted on 11/27/2009

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As you've already learned there's pros and cons to this side. I also get up early to make my husbands lunch, but it always seems as if I dont have time to make my own :) Sometimes I feel as if he's just another child to tend to but he SOMETIMES pulls his weight around the house. When we first got together I didn't work, I took care of my ill father, so I spoiled the men in the house :) Though after seven years together with three kids and a FULL time job, he's FINALLY starting to realize I do EVERYTHING in the house. He still complains but knows I have to take care of 4 people ahead of him. PS If you do get him to start helping, let me in on the secret :)

April - posted on 11/26/2009

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My husband is in the Army and has to be up at 5am every weekday. I get up with him to help him get out the door. Not only do I make his lunch, but hot breakfast too, everyday. pancakes, toast, or waffels w/ eggs and sausage. If I don't cook- he doesnt eat! LOL

Audra - posted on 11/26/2009

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hubby and l both work so we try and spread out the chores and we both have chances to make sandwhiches for everyone when l have had enough he takes over and when l can see his had enough l take over makes the load a little lighter for both of us

Deanna - posted on 11/26/2009

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I make my husbands lunch to, along with 3 kids lunches. The trade off is I stay at home and just started working from home. My husband works really long hours and if I didn't make it, he wouldn't, he would just end up buying lunch. It is little stuff, but every situation is different. Do we do it from an attitude of love or complaint? Don't let it wreck your day, if you have to do it.

Amy - posted on 11/26/2009

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I'm on maternity leave, but used to get up, pack my 4 year old off to school and make my hubby's lunch... and take my pregnant arse to work lol. If he works full time, then the little things you do for him so he can have an extra 10 mins in bed is gonna help him. But if you're at the end of your tether, then suggest he makes his own lunch 2 times a week...

Aleid - posted on 11/26/2009

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I make everybody's lunches the evening before while my mr hubby packs the dishwasher and prepares the coffeemachine for the next morning. Since my lunch and my sons lunch vary by day and his is ALWAYS the same, 4 sandwiches and one fruit, it is just easeir I do this. But we divide our tasks

MA CARMEL - posted on 11/25/2009

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no ur not the only one dear, believe it or not ever since my kids attended school, i always wake up as early as 4:30 am to prepare their breakfast and meals for lunch altogether, even if i had someone (househelp) to help me out, im a hands-on Mom, stressful yes considering that i still have to prepare myself after coz im a working Mom, too and we have to leave the house altogether at 6:30am, lest we'll all be late for school and for work... but here's the best part dear, whenever my husband is around/on vacation (he's a seafarer), it's his turn to prepare everything for us with a little bonus, that is, sometimes if the need arises, he drives us to school and to my workplace, he's a hands-on Dad, too! LOL, so sweet, right? so cheer up urself and pray that ur husband will finally realize that it takes two to tango, especially when it comes to taking care of ur kids, hello!

Nicole - posted on 11/21/2009

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I used to make my husband's lunch everyday. I stopped making his lunch for him when our son started getting up earlier and I had to get him dressed and feed. I already get up at 4:30 am so that i can make my lunch and our son's lunch, make coffee and jump in the shower before my hubby and son get up. but in the winter I still start his truck for him while he's in the shower/

Angela - posted on 11/21/2009

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I used to make my husbands lunch everyday, but making his lunch, my lunch and getting the kids bags, breakfast and lunch together, was abit much since all he had to do was get up and get dressed in the morning. so i started at slightly leave him out of the equation... i told him i was running late and didn't have time.. after a while it was like no big deal... if he wanted lunch he made it, if not he got something at lunch time... but every now and then i'll make his lunch as a nice gesture, not something i feel obligated to do.

Lucy - posted on 11/21/2009

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I stopped making my husband's lunch loongggggg time ago. One day I just said to him that it was unfair for me to do EVERYTHING in the house, work full time AND take care of kids + more... SO, I asked him one morning, Can you please help ME by making your own lunch? And I walked away and that was it. Since then, he's been ironing his shirts and making his own lunch. And let me tell you, this guy was a stickler for having things done for him. I may surprise him every once in a while with a gourmet lunch and a lil' note, but he's definitely helping ME now. Good Luck.

Lisa - posted on 11/20/2009

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Hi ur not the only 1, I get up at 4.30am to make my kids lunches 2 and my hubbys, i make his lunch so that he dusnt ask me for moni, it cost more wen he wants to buy his lunch and if i left it up to him we wud be broke $20 a day is a lot of moni.. Im making my lunch at the same time.. and im making lunch for 4 kids im just used to it now like a daily routine and wen im having a lazy day he understands and might help out or just grab a $20 for that 1 day...

Erin - posted on 11/20/2009

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Quoting Hayley:

Your not crazy Sandra he is just lazy! He should at least be helping you. I don't think any husband should expect that his wife should make his lunch for him. I say that if you don't have time make him do it himself! See what kind of reaction this brings. If it were me personally I would go on strike and make everyone make there own... my mum did it and we had to make ours!


I totally agree, his reaction will say a lot.

H.J - posted on 11/20/2009

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Your not crazy Sandra he is just lazy! He should at least be helping you. I don't think any husband should expect that his wife should make his lunch for him. I say that if you don't have time make him do it himself! See what kind of reaction this brings. If it were me personally I would go on strike and make everyone make there own... my mum did it and we had to make ours!

Melanie - posted on 11/19/2009

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Usually we are all rushing to get out the door in the mornings during the week, and I don't mind putting my husbands lunch together while I am making mine and our son's. Sometimes it is easier to just make all 3 of us the same thing at the same time. But I know if I'm running late he will make lunches too just to help us all get out the door on time. It's all give and take. Just ask him to help in the mornings....if you don't say anything, how can he know you are frustrated? I finanlly asked mine for help and I can tell you our mornings are alot smoother now.

Kathy - posted on 11/18/2009

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I get Every morning to make my hubby's lunch. I don't have a problem with this because if I don't get up then he is late for work. I have been doing this a long time it is the only time my is quiet so I get time to myself.

Theresa - posted on 11/18/2009

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Dont feel all alone in this ..... The same here..... I hate doing it but we just carry on....

Erin - posted on 11/18/2009

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Quoting Brooke:

There has to be give and take. I usually make my husband's lunch the night before because he goes to work at 3 am, but he usually does something nice for me like start the automatic coffee machine to go off at 5:30 when I get up. I don't get to see him in the morning, so it's my version of a 'hug' and that I guess is his. I enjoy it though - and if you don't, then you shouldn't do it. No one can MAKE you do anything - you are an adult. If you don't like it, stop.


I agree Brooke, give and take!

Michelle - posted on 11/18/2009

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This is a running joke between my girlfriends. They think I am crazy for getting up with my husband at 4:30 am to make his lunch. My husbands mom always did it for him so I think he just expects it. I would love to be able to sleep in but I also love having 2 extra hours in the morning to myself.

Melinda King - posted on 11/18/2009

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My husband gets up every morning at 5am and I'm right there with him making his packing his lunch. Guess it is the way I was raised, my momma got up and fixed breakfast for everyone and fixed my dad's lunch too. It doesn't bother me one bit, it's cheaper than him eating out everyday.

Comfort - posted on 11/17/2009

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U are the only one. He is an adult-he can help u by packing his own lunch, priority comes on the kids. Always prepare the kids snacks the evening. So it would give u enough time during the day to get ready for work and drop them off.

Emily - posted on 11/17/2009

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Well the first few years I did make his lunch but then he started to complain about the snacks and goodies I was packing and they were causing him to gain weight. I think it we both were getting more and more comfortable with each other we started to ease up on the working out. I just laughed and told him maybe he should make his own. I still make it occasionally but not very often. Maybe you can convince him to make his lunch and the kids two days out of the week to give you a break that would help you out.

Brooke - posted on 11/17/2009

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There has to be give and take. I usually make my husband's lunch the night before because he goes to work at 3 am, but he usually does something nice for me like start the automatic coffee machine to go off at 5:30 when I get up. I don't get to see him in the morning, so it's my version of a 'hug' and that I guess is his. I enjoy it though - and if you don't, then you shouldn't do it. No one can MAKE you do anything - you are an adult. If you don't like it, stop.

H.J - posted on 11/17/2009

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I'm very lucky my hubby makes lunch for me most days! Right now he is baking me a cake to have with my lunch for tomorrow. Your not crazy and why cant he make the kids lunch for you? Your kids are 7 and 11 they could be making there own. I know I was at age 5. Just lay the stuff out for them.

Veronika - posted on 11/16/2009

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Well...I guess i am very lucky!!! My husband make his own lunch and breakfast when he does not see me doing it. He even makes me breakfast if he wakes up earlier than us (me and my 2yr old).
I believe, communication is the key. Talk to your husband about taking turns, also, you can prepare it at night to avoid morning rush. Mine does not mind having dinner leftover for his lunch.

Catherine - posted on 11/16/2009

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I actually make lunches for my husband, myself, and out 2 year old every night. I just plan ahead and pack it early. Sometimes I even pack it as I'm cleaning up after dinner just to get it out of the way. I'm already in the kitchen, I'm already cleaning and putting away, so I figure let me just knock it out while I'm here. Luckily though, he does help out on days that I'm just burnt out....You hubby will too!

Alison - posted on 11/16/2009

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When I struggle with making his lunch every day, we sometimes negotiate that I'll make the sandwich and he takes care of the rest (he works in construction, so there is a lot of rest!). Then we are both happy. I am happy to make him happy. It's part of the job I signed up for.

[deleted account]

my husband is the stay at home dad and he makes me lunch every morning and sometimes even breakfast. he has to wake up with the baby anyways and besides it is allot harder to work out of home because you don't have the comfort of being at home. its allot more stressful when you have to go to work and not be able to let down your guard because your not at your home environment. i do let him sleep in sometimes and i will just go out for lunch when we have the money, but i say keep making those sandwiches because it may be one thing that's keeping his work life less stressful.

Kathy - posted on 11/15/2009

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I have 4 kids and a husband and I do the same every morning. I have tried to just not make his lunch and make him do it but he ends up either not eating at all or buying so just do it

[deleted account]

I personally would not and do not do that for my significant other. The days of doing for your man are long gone since we women have to help bring home the bacon. I feel it's a 50-50 situation. I too am with a person that helps me with my daughter, and she's not biologically his. Guess what...that was their decision when they met us and we don't owe them for taking that on. It's not as if it was a secret when we got together. People have to be responsible for their own decisions and when it comes to being in my life...that means the whole package...which is OUR life. We are one at the end of the day. So I say, you owe him nothing, if the love is strong and unconditional, there should be no need to "repay" anyone for being in you and your children's life. That is a decision that was made long before you were making his lunch. I have to hurry around and get my daughter and myself ready for work and school...and the last thing I'm going to do is make lunch for someone who has nothing to worry about but himself at 5am in me morning. I say welcome to the 21st Century MEN! :-)

Natasha - posted on 11/15/2009

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i have been making my partner his lunch for 9 yrs now, and even though sometimes its one more thing i have to do [i work, take care of house chores, kids] i already making lunch for the kids so whats one more sandwich, i always make it the night before
either left overs from dinner or i pack the sandwiches seperatly [bread, lettuce, tomato, cheese] so he can make it himself when ready and they dont go soggy
he leaves for wk at about 4.30 in the morning so im not getting up at that time, but works very hard out in the heat or cold and works really long hrs, so for me thats my way of saying thank you for working his ass off to allow me to work part time, every families different. my mum has never packed my dads lunch but he does not work any where near the hours mine does and wks in a pretty cruisie job, so i suppose whatever u feel is fair.

S - posted on 11/14/2009

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Your husband can make his own lunch! Try talking to him about taking you for granted.

[deleted account]

y .i make my hubby his lunch every night b4 i go bed then get up at 7am have shower then make my 2kids packed lunch for school everyday they 8 and 13 its called being a mam and a loving wife i alway get a thank u love and thanks mam so i dont mind doing because i know they all love me

Wendy - posted on 11/14/2009

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I've been married for over 16 years and still get up every workday with my husband to make his (and my) lunch. It all started when we were both in the army that the morning time was our only real time together. We've long since been out, but it is still (through sleepy eyes at 3:30 a.m.) our special time. He always tells me I don't have to do that for him, but it is just as much for me as it is for him.

Sandra - posted on 11/14/2009

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If you have your own job, I believe he should absolutely make his own lunch. As Maura was mentioning, working moms are pulled in so many directions. I was on the verge of breakdown before my hub and I went to marriage counseling. We now have a list of duties that it takes to run a household/family and he is putting in his share of effort.
I am not telling you to go to counseling, but I would suggest politely telling your husband that your morning schedule is very hectic and that you will no longer be making his lunches in the morning.

Maura - posted on 11/14/2009

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Sandie, I believe we < working moms> wear so many hats, sometimes just making a sandwich can be too much. I think its busy lives thats all, Maybe if you ask your husband to share the lunch making duties it will not be so overwhelming. Its really not about the sandwich,its so many thing pulling moms in so many directions!

Carolyn - posted on 11/13/2009

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I make his & the kids' the night before.. Well, I used to make his - when he had a job!

Elaine - posted on 11/13/2009

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Your not crazy. He can make his own. Hes a grown man and should be able to fend for himself. I have only made my husbands lunch if its leftovers from the night before that I put in a bowl.

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