Am I the only working mom who doesn't feel guilty about working?

Terry - posted on 12/22/2009 ( 1065 moms have responded )

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I have been working since the day I graduated college....most would say I'm a workaholic...it's in my DNA! When I had my two kids, I took the 3-month maternity leave our company provided for each, and then although a little scary, I went back to work.



I can't say it's ever been easy, but truly I feel like part of my role in the family is to bring home the bacon so that I can provide the best possible life for my kids.



Sometimes I think I'm the only working mom that doesn't feel guilty? Did I wish I could've been in the carpool or been class parent, which my daughter begged me to do. No doubt. But reality set in and I knew I had was doing what I had to do to ensure we lived a good life, in a good neighbood with a great school system.



Tell me, am I alone in this?



Submitted by Terry Starr, Co-Founder of MyWorkButterfly.com in partnership with Circle of Moms

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Karen - posted on 03/08/2013

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@Emily, you assume that by not working we would be on welfare? I have been married for nearly 23 years and part of that time I was a major portion of the income. Work circumstances have flip flopped for us over the years. My husband was the main income, then he wasn't, I was. We are now on equal footing but have very strange hours.

My husband and I have always worked, sometimes 2 jobs to make ends meet. I like my job and am damn good at it, but would I give it up to stay home with my boys if we could afford it-YES, no hesitation, no regrets. However with the state of the economy, taxes etc it is not an option. My Mom stayed at home, she also babysat many, many children. Some are like part of the family even now as adults with their own children. She was an amazing woman, I actually resent the assumption that a SAHM sits around with nothing to do all day while kids are at school. When I was out of work after a downsize several years ago, my husband supported us. I took care of the house, shopped for groceries and cooked. I cleaned very well since I had more time then when I worked full time. I reorganized closets and rooms in our tiny house to be more efficient. I even repainted in some places.

My parents taught me that marriage is about partnerships and trust. One has to trust the other to take care of them. In my house growing up, Dad took care of us by earning and income and making repairs around the house. He also coached my softball team. My Mom took care of everyone. She cleaned, cooked, did laundry, drove and picked us up from school. She attended EVERY event at school. Plays, sporting events, room mom parties, etc. I had a very blessed childhood. Could we have had more if Mom worked? yes. We grew up on the poverty line with a one parent income. BUT, I would not have wanted anything different. We grew up with everything we needed..the most important thing she could ever give us and the most important thing I can give my children is time. My 7 YO son was sick this week (he has had asthma and illness all his life). When he is sick, he wants his Mama. I picked him up from school and got a Dr appt en route. He ended up with 2 breathing treatments and 3 different medications before leaving the office. That night, he came to me at 4 AM unable to breathe and burning again with fever. (though he had multiple treatments and Motrin throughout the day). I gave him more meds and sat with him while I ran yet another breathing treatment. The problem? I had to leave for work at 5:30 AM. I am his Mom, it is my job to soothe him, to take care of him to try to make him feel better and I had to leave that job to his very capable (but not his Mom) Dad. Fortunately his father and I work opposite shifts so he was home. How anyone can say it is easy to walk away from a crying sick child probably should not be a parent in the first place.

Is my job important to me, o ya. I trained for years to be good at it. I am a firefighter/paramedic and my boys are rather proud of that fact. But, I have given up overtime, optional additional training and any chance of promotion to put my family first as much as possible.

I also agree with another post. Why are we arguing? The last time I checked we were all Moms. Whether one is working or not is based on their circumstances and choices. only those people can understand those circumstances. Who are we to judge someone else's situation?

Anna - posted on 03/03/2013

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Working makes me a better mom. I take a day off every year to chaperone one field trip, and my son is OK with that. Moms should get out of the habit of sacrificing every little thing for their kids. It's not healthy for anybody.

Tiffany - posted on 02/26/2013

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No need to feel guilty. There are some moms who are wired to absorb themselves into their kids and those of us who enjoy the whole juggling act. Definitely participate at school but no need to be at the school every single day. I think it's good for the kids to see their mom "doing her thing". I think it helps them to respect the sacrifices you are making, not that they show that respect in the nicest ways. I enjoy my job, I enjoy my kids. Enjoy who you are and who you are able to be for your family.

[deleted account]

I definitely do not feel guilty. In fact I find it irritating that women are trained to feel guilty for providing for their families. There is no reason that women cannot have wonderful jobs and wonderful families. Maybe we don't go to every function at school, but in my experience, the children of the stay at home moms behave worse and turn out worse than kids who learn to do some thinking on their own.

Jenna - posted on 12/23/2009

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Not at all! I find this helps define myself. Plus I absolutely love my job. I would go stir crazy if I didn't work. I do have to say I am very lucky to have a job which allows me to volunteer and help out with my son's school. I've been able to have the best of both worlds.

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Jenni - posted on 10/31/2013

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Definitely not alone.. I'm not really cut out for domestic life, I need the challenge of a career to give me some balance in my life. I make a point of spending quality time with my son every day and weekends are family time. He is happy, healthy, and well-adjusted. I have zero guilt because I know I would be a terrible SAHM, working makes me a better wife and mother.

Rhiannon - posted on 03/14/2013

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I am a mom that works full time outside the home. I have a Master's Degree, and I enjoy using it. Every mom is made differently - I have mom friends that can't imagine working outside the home, and mom friends that are like me, and can't imagine staying at home. I enjoy the feeling of contribution, the interaction I get from co-workers and the community, and the accomplishment I get from working. I would not be a good stay at home mom, and for that, I don't feel guilty. I feel that I'm teaching my daughters that it's okay to be a woman and work, and they can do whatever is right for them when they're grown and have kids. Most days I don't feel guilty for working - I make it to all my kids programs and special days at school, and I enjoy and savor the time I do get with them because it is so limited.

Pauline - posted on 03/10/2013

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SAHMs are NOT non working moms. I worked harder as a SAHM than I do now with a full time job and almost grown children.
I know some people have to work, I also know what my sis in law told me. She ran a daycare in her home for over 10 years. Some of the stories broke my heart.

If a mom has to work outside the home, she has to, whether its for her economic or mental health, it doesn't make her a better or worse mom than any other mom. Everyone is different, and each scenario has it's pluses and minuses.

But, don't call SAHM non working, lazy, arrogant, watching soap operas all day, or assume they are on welfare, uneducated (I am a college graduate with a 4 year degree), mooching, or unmarried, (as if there were something wrong with it), as I was told by someone on this thread. I have been married 25 years. If anything, it takes a much more together, organized person to do it all and do it well. That is an awesome example to set for your children. I was doing what was right for me (but most importantly, right for my kids) when my kids were small for the reasons I stated. I only contributed because it showed up in my email. Sorry to have offended anyone.

Haley - posted on 03/10/2013

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My dad always tells me, "you need to be staying home with your kids." But the fact is, I'm 10x a better mother when I've spent my time in the office. Staying home with my kids 24/7 would drive me crazy because it's not how I'm built. I may not need to work 50-60 hours a week to be happy, but I do need that combination of feeling like I'm contributing and getting out of the house to do it.

Amy - posted on 03/09/2013

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Pauline I deleted the post that called you a name. However your original post stated "Daycare workers spend more time with your child than you do. you brought them into the world, they did not ask to be born". That's great that you had the opportunity to stay home with your kids for 16 years, many mothers do not have the opportunity to stay home both incomes are needed. So for you to come into a "working mothers" community and try to make mothers feel guilty about their choices will not be tolerated. Just as if any of these moms went into the SAHM community and made inflammatory comments they would be banned from that community as well.

Going back to work for many is difficult enough, working moms don't need someone making them feel guilty and questioning why they would want to work vs. stay at home. I don't feel guilty for working, I'm in the process of going through a divorce and I am the ONLY one supporting my kids right now. And honestly you have no idea what your kids work ethnic would of been had you worked, your kids have a good work ethnic because that's how you raised them it has nothing to do with being a SAHM mom vs. a working mom. I will be there for every event in my child's life even as a working mom. If it's important to my child then it's important to me and I will be there.

Amy - posted on 03/09/2013

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***Warning****

Ladies I will lock this thread if we continue to go back and forth. This is a working moms community. I am not going to exclude SAHM moms but you should not be in this community stating that moms shouldn't work. If you continue to incite the working moms I will have to ban you from the "Working Moms" community.

Thanks,

Amy

Kristine - posted on 03/09/2013

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Good morning, guess if you were the only one, then that makes US the only two that do not feel guilty. In fact, I feel great about being able to pay my bills and being able to purchase items for my kids that they long for. I am a single mother so I really dont have a choice but to work. Even if I had a significant other I would still want to work for my own self worth. If I wasnt working, I am not sure my self esteem would be worth very much and my kids would suffer from that. My kids watch me work hard and they are proud of me. Of course my youngest child is 14 so he is old enough to take care of himself and make his own dinners if I cant make it home in time. I have always worked and in this day and age, it takes two people mostly to make ends meet. Keep up the great work and try not to feel guilty for working to provide for your kiddos.

Pauline - posted on 03/08/2013

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Exactly, we all do what is best for us, but non SAHMs shouldn't automatically assume SAHMs are lazy, unmarried, or on welfare. Many of us are married, well educated women, and have husbands who have good jobs. I've never been on welfare in my life. I never even pay my bills late. Insults and name calling are not necessary. Some moms would be rotten moms if they had to stay home with their kids all day. Staying home was an adjustment, I missed talking to other adults sometimes, and wished I could drive a newer car, or go on a longer vacation, or not have to cut coupons, but nothing is perfect.

Pauline - posted on 03/07/2013

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I was a stay at home mother for 16 years. I NEVER watched soap operas, never, ever. I hardly watched TV. Emily, if you think that is what SAHM do, you are sadly mistaken. You are right, once they are in school it is a different story, but, my kids always knew I could be there any time of the day or night. That's why kids have 2 parents, one works off the other, creating a balance for the home. Dad earned the money, We shared everything else. That example of a balanced marriage is what I showed my kids. I have a full time job now, and wouldn't trade my stay at home time for anything in the world. When my children took their first steps I SAW IT. Not a daycare worker. When they rolled over for the first time, I SAW IT. When they went off for their first day of school I WAS THERE. NO WAY would I ever let someone else enjoy those milestones. Kids are small for such a short time, why would you EVER let someone else have any of the precious little time you have with them? Just my opinion, but like I said, stay at home moms don't have time for soap operas. That would be a luxury.

Lana - posted on 03/06/2013

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As a new mother and a young married woman I have an in depth view of what young adults get into these days. I also have asked several different people how they felt about their parents. The results I obtained are that they wished their parents would have worked LESS!! They wished they had more time to spend with their parents. Their childhoods felt lonely, and misguided. I intend to finish my degree and get a PART time job. I can't live with leaving the burdon all on my husband to bring home enough to support all 3 of us and I can't stand not earning some of my own keep. In my personal opinion( i hope not to offend) My daughter will need ME to guide her. No nanny, grandma, baby sitter, or daycare will be granted the liberty of the personal bond I have with my daughter. I am also hoping to be her influence rather than too much time with friends to dig up trouble.
Growing up I ALWAYS had my mother. She worked from home and she was ALWAYS around ALWAYS.. I made decent grades in school, NEVER got in with the wrong crowd and married at 21. I can contribute my stable mind to ALWAYS having her to steer me. Mothers are great. I don't think God chose us to have them for no reason.

Michelle - posted on 03/06/2013

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I am a mother of twin kindergarteners and a first grader. I am a stay at home mom. My husband has a job that makes it difficult for me to work. We are financially, very lucky that my salary is not needed. I posted a long time ago and I have been periodically following the posts since then. Everyone is different. Some believe being a SAHM is the right thing and others think working is the right thing for their family. My situation, helps me understand both sides. I have two college degrees and honestly never imagined myself as an at home mom. I miss working and having "purpose". That is my insecurity. My husband respects me and tells everyone how hard I work. I am not a SAHM who makes my husband lunch or irons his clothes. He is a big boy. I do however do just about everything else around the house. I fix things, assemble toys/furniture, repair and paint walls, clean the garage, do yard work,...the list goes one. My husband works many hours. Emily, I don't appreciate you saying stay at home moms sit and watch soap operas. I respect working moms and often say, I can't imagine working and maintaining this house, kids etc. I really just don't understand why each side bashes the other. We are all mothers and we all work hard.

Emily - posted on 03/06/2013

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Why is it that society would have us feel guilty for working? Most of the work day happens while the kids are in school. So we should sit around watching soap operas, and waiting for them to come home?! I work full time, and still have time to talk to each of my four kids about their day, help with homework, and eat dinner together. We do all of this together as a family. There is nothing to feel guilty for. I work so my kids can have a home and food on the table. I suppose I could quit my job, go on welfare, and let all of the working fathers pay for my kids.
There are few things that infuriate me more than someone looking down their nose at me because I work. You are most definitely not alone!

Christina - posted on 03/05/2013

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You re not alone. I'm the same way. I have to provide so my kids have a decent life and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Maria - posted on 03/05/2013

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Nope! You are not alone. I have only taken the 6weeks my job allows. I live my job, I think it makes me a better parent. However, my job is very family oriented, so being out with a sick kid is never a problem. So I am able to provide and be a care giver. I miss them terribly, but I get weekends and almost all school holidays such as spring break and two weeks off in December, so I think that makes a big difference. I also am a workaholic, always answering emails from home when I do not have to.

[deleted account]

I have been struggling with the guilt of NOT feeling guilty about working! I run my own consulting business and I really love it. I am such a workaholic, and I have definitely made sacrifices, but I am able to stand on my own and make my own money which makes me very proud. In that way, I feel like I am a great example for my daughter. I appreciate and love stay at home moms too, but it's not for me. Thanks so much for posting, I feel the same way you do!

Munique - posted on 03/04/2013

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I was a grave-yard-shift working, room-mother (alternated which room each year between the kids), p/t daylight/evening shift working, paramedic student, and national guard, soccer (coaching 1 year) & swim-team step-mother who raised my (now ex's) kids for 7 years almost alone (he was part of the national disaster strike teams and worked EMS also). I LOVED working and yeah, I was exhausted sometimes but I LOVED working. Since I was 12 I've had a job and another major responsiblity (from 12-18 is was the fire/ems department), then I joined the military and still worked 2 p/t jobs while living on my own my sr year of HS. This last 2 years I haven't worked. I was pregnant & high risk so had to quit. Then we had nobody to help take care of baby girl. She just started Early Head Start a few weeks ago and I'm almost far enough in my online college education to be able to start workin at the daycare where she goes! I CAN'T WAIT. I hate being "useless" and although my fiance insists I'm not because I maintain the house, take care of him and our lil girl and I'm doing school to make us a better life- I FEEL USELESS. I moved down here to MD to restart my life when my EX left me and then we got together. But I'm not an outgoing person, I don't meet people on my own and so I am generally alone here. I NEED work. Even if I can't go OUT because of work I'll be doing SOMETHING outside this house and I CAN'T WAIT.
No guilt here. Baby and I were togethter 24/7 348 days of her life. She was soooo happy to go to EHS that she doesn't want to come home every day.....It's BETTER for both her and me, but now it's my turn to go work. I'm okay with being home-bound again if we get lucky enough to add on to our family, but for now..... I NEED out.

Christine - posted on 03/04/2013

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I feel guilty. If there is a way for me to live on a tight budget: eat out less, thrift shop clothing, use WIC program, etc, I'd do it in a minute. The early years of my children's lives...when they still want me to be there to play with them, is irreplaceable. So if the opportunity exists...to live in the lower wrung of the socioeconomic ladder for a season.... and love on my kids. I would. I would never wish for more work on my death bed.

Laxmi - posted on 03/03/2013

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Yeah even i feel guilty to some extent. I've 2 n half years old baby. She want to play with me when I'm in front of her. But I have no time to give her as at a day time i went to an office n after returning from an office I've to do house work n when i get free from house work my sweet baby becomes slept in the evening n in the morning too I've to cook food n could not give a time to her. so that sometimes she get irritate by my behavior as i could not do what she wants. So sometimes I really feel guilty by my job.

Barbara - posted on 03/03/2013

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There is absolutely no reason you should feel guilty for wanting to work outside of the home to give your kids a better life. Not everyone has the choice of staying home with the kids and not everyone want to stay home with the kids. I chose to stay home with my kids and now that they are both starting school I am choosing to go back to work. It's not a matter of whether you feel guilty or not or whether you are a stay at home mom or work outside the home or not, it is about what works for your family and we moms should respect each others choices and support each other in these situations. I support you 100% for making this choice for your family.

Lindsey Lee - posted on 03/03/2013

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hey, no you aren't alone I feel guilty every night when I go to work.... the only time I see my 7 month old son is for about 4 hours everyday except for the weekends.... it if very hard havin to work all the time.... but as a single mom we all need to do what we need to do... as long as u take care of ur kids and do everything u can to support them.... u r doing everything u need to do for ur kids....

Kelly - posted on 03/03/2013

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Nope you are not the only mom that does not feel guilty. I am a nurse & I make more money than my husband. For my child to have a better life & be able to live where we live & do the things we do I need to work. I also enjoy my job which also helps. Do I wish I could stay home whenever my son asks? Yes of course but who wouldn't want to do that. Reality is I just can do that. I am proud of my son but I am also proud of my degree that I worked hard to get & enjoy being in the work force.

Lauren - posted on 03/03/2013

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I have never worked, and have been a stay at home. Mother for 7 years. I'm not sure I would ever leave my kids with a sitter or at a daycare before the age of 4. But Different kinds of people do different things. My 6 year old attends a very good school and is a very emotionally well person but had a hard time adjusting from home to school. Lots of people don't stay home and work full time jobs. I will never regret staying home but I am a nurturer, maybe the people who take care of other people's children are more nurturing types that give children in general a sense of well being. It all works out.

Casandra - posted on 03/03/2013

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You are not alone. I can say that there are moments that I feel guilty like when I am out on business travel and they have a school event. I love my career and like many others, it pays for most things that we have. There is not a perfect solution in anyone's situation so you have to make the most of the situation that you have. I too try to take time off or make events at school.

Kyana - posted on 03/03/2013

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Well life Is about sacrifices. I too have been working since my undergrad years. I am an elementary teacher now. I just had two daughters (year apart) in 2010 and i have not been back to work since. Its the best decision I I have made for my family. There are many ways "to be there" for your children and for me being present for their schooling, seeing them off to school, picking them up from school (my 3 school age children), teaching my youngest two is the best choice I've made . If you can do it, do it. The reward is great! I see a major difference in my younger two than my older three.

Ashley - posted on 02/27/2013

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I enjoy working because it gives me some me time and a time for me to socialize and be around people. When I was on maternity leave I was very alone and going crazy inside from being in the house all day everyday without really talking to anyone. I also like feeling independant by providing for my family. I didnt enjoy spending my fiances money when I was out of work. I dont like working too much though. I like to make sure I have quality time with family and don't miss out on important things.

Stacy - posted on 02/27/2013

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I wouldn't feel guilty! The world we live in now days it totally different and VERY expensive! I had to go back to work after only 6 weeks...it was HORRIBLE but I didn't get approved for short term disability which was going to pay for the at least 6-8wks...so i had to use ALL of my PTO and still had to take 3wks unpaid...it sucked. So I don't feel guilty at all for working because Like others mothers have said...my child wouldn't have the things she does if I didn't work!

France - posted on 02/27/2013

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my daughter is now 9, I went back to work wen she was 1month old (though there were sacrifices and obstacles), but we survived. Now work is not very demanding giving me a lot of time with her during weekends and after work hours...There r regrets and things I know I should have done better but dwelling in those will not mke me a better mom...So I leave those negative thoughts behind and focus on what I can still improve on right now.

Adrienne - posted on 02/26/2013

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No your not alone. I have to work as well because of my husbands disability. Though I miss my girls I know it has to be so they have food a home clothes and whatever else they need. I love to work I love the ability to communicate with adults. I enjoy what I do. Fortunately I can minipulate my schedule to play school parent every now and again. Good luck and just remind your kids that you work so hard to give them a good life. Teach them what it takes to be responsible.

Diana - posted on 02/26/2013

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Sweetie, I am a young Mother of 3, and now have a Grandson by 42. I stayed hm for 2 yrs for each child, but had to go back to work. I too am a Workaholic, but balance, I believe is important! The good life is Great, but kids grow up fast. So I've sleep deprived myself for years, as I was the PTA President for years, Halloween Carnivals, pancake Breakfast all that. I was even Mrs Santa one year. I believe we are not given what we cannot handle. Please don't feel guilty for working, but remember ... You only live once. One day they will grow up & that is when time is all yours. My twins are now 19, and my son 24. Believe me, there are now days I no longer feel the need to go home, because I know I did all that I could for them. But guess what... That makes me feel guilty to. Take care... For all you can do, is be the Best!

Leonora - posted on 02/26/2013

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don' be..I used to be like you..working student when I was in College and never stop working since 1995 but time will tell when you really have to stop..having a family or cgildren if our own changes our priorities but should not on our dreams..continue working as long as you're happy..as long as it is necessary especially if you have no other options or choice..continue wirking for your family but make sure you still have time spent with your love ones as it is very important esp to your kids..

Im now a full time mom and it is great! I so much enjoying it..looking back, I have no regrets that I wasnt able to give all my time before because I have explained to them why I am working..I may not be able to cope up for the time of the past but what is important to me now is I am here all the time for them and Im so.happy!!!!

Fauziah - posted on 02/26/2013

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I am a mother with two children and just had my second one. I can't wait to get back the work. What can i say, my work keeps me happy and i enjoy what i do.
You are like many mums out there that need that time out to keep them self working right. Feel good that you can do something for yourself. You are doing a good thing.
Keep it up and stay HAPPY

Jeanette - posted on 02/26/2013

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You are definitely not alone. I am also a single mom of two great kids who wish I could be more about involved with their schools. But knowing I need to be able to provide for them makes going to work everyday easy to do. Even though sometimes I wish I could just take sometime off so they can have what they want too.

Dodo - posted on 02/26/2013

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Don't worry dear you are not alone , me too i went to work when my first son was 5 monthes but my daughter wasn't that lucky she was only 45 days when i left her

Ashley - posted on 02/26/2013

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Nope, every woman I know works or worked while they had children to take care of. There's nothing wrong with it and anyone that tells you it's selfish can have their own opinion but it doesn't mean anything.

Women that can stay home can stay home, good for them, but studies show working moms are happier and kids deserve a happy mom to take care of them.

Joan - posted on 02/26/2013

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I am the bread winner and I despise it. In time, hopefully, I will work for myself and be at home for my child. She needs me, not someone else to raise her.

Melissa - posted on 02/26/2013

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No reason for you to feel guilty! I am a single mom raising two daughters and I have my career. There is no way i feel guilty about working from home during my maternity leave, or not being able to volunteer for every class function. I am teaching my children that they can do whatever they strive for in life. I worked hard to get where I am in my career, I am proud of it. It puts food on the table and keeps a nice roof over our heads. No way I feel guilty for being the best PERSON (not just mommy) that I can be.

Jennifer - posted on 02/18/2013

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i don't at all i look at it that i am providing for her by working i pay the bills that provide her food shelter and warmth

Heather - posted on 02/17/2013

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No way are you alone! You have me on your side big time. I love my job and the money I make to support my boys. I work night shift at Ford Motor Co and my boys think it's cool that I build trucks. I know I don't have to depend on anyone in any way to take care of us. In my opinion, you are setting a great example for your daughter as a woman who can do it all.

Jennifer - posted on 02/05/2013

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Contributing more opportunities? like helping with homework after school? Like being there for field trips? Like driving them where they need to go? Like having friends over after school to have a social life? Those are great opportunities that you could afford very easily without working.

Gina - posted on 02/05/2013

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not at all... i feel very much the same.. although my work is retail so i volunteer on my weekday off... it works out great because my husband is very involved!! :) a

Carla - posted on 02/05/2013

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No mother should feel guilty about making a better life for their children! Who's gonna do it Daddy???? Yea right!!! we are the stronger ones that go out there and hussle to make ends meet, to give our kids what they need!!! No guilt here honey!!! Your kids will thank you later!!! I commend you in your heroic ways!!!!

Sara - posted on 02/04/2013

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It's nothing to feel guilty over, I love my job and my kiddo! My job grounds me and my child gives me unconditional love. I wish at times I could attend the field trips and be PTA mom but as my child gets older she understands when I'm unable to attend. But when I can attend one of her school functions she appreciates it so much more! Some stay at moms just don't understand women who enjoy working.

Julie - posted on 02/04/2013

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I first commented on this thread when my daughter was 4 and she is now 7! I can't believe this thread is still going. Anyway, the last three years have brought me more insight into the subject of being a working mom. I still have no guilt and I still think working makes me a better mom. My daughter is fiercely independent and has grown into an incredible kid. Just because I work full-time does not mean that I am a part-time parent. I do both jobs 100% and my family benefits. The media never seems to question a man working full-time or if they feel Guilty for not being with there children during the day. I have an exceptional nanny that helps pick up the slack. Her presence in our home has been wonderful for our daughter and she has become a real confidant for my only child. I worked very hard before having a child to earn a doctorate degree from an Ivy League school and I am grateful everyday that I am able to use my brain outside of the home to make the world better. I have absolutely no guilt for it!

Bobbie - posted on 02/03/2013

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you have to ask your self is having the good life more precious than see your children grow up spending time with them,very soon they will be grown and gone. Don't put yourself in a position where you will look back and WISH that you had spent more time with them. When my daughter's were little i worked 3 job's but i spent a lot of time with them,i gave up driving a tractor trailer to be with my daughter's i have never regreted it They are grown now 30,and 25,i feel the time went by to fast,and i was there everyday.So don't put the good life before your kids.Life is too short.

Diamonique - posted on 01/27/2013

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No you are not I feel the same way and a lot of people do not understand that.

Karen - posted on 01/25/2013

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I think you a definitely not alone Terry.

Having been a working Mum and a stay at home Mum, what I learnt is more important than giving precious time to my children, was making sure I had time for me. For when I balanced that in my busy week as a priority, I was then able to give freely to all my family and not feel burdened by the guilt of leaving them.

In 2001 when we lost our 9 year old son, our world turned upside down and all that I thought was important was now invalid. I share my story on my blog and how I learnt how to balance my life differently.

I admire all women who balance, work family and friends. You are all special in your own way, so dont forget to give to you as well.

Karen
http://shamanismandhealing.wordpress.com...

Autumn - posted on 01/12/2013

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I am with you!!! Yes their are days I think if I didn't work I work my house would be cleaner and I would be caught up on the laundry. But I like my job, I didn't get two collage degrees to sit at home. My son also benefits from being with other people than just me. And he LOVES his daycare! Actually so do i. He learns so much. And I think we are setting the stage for when they grow up, you have to work for for what you need and want. And if you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life

[deleted account]

I think you have every right to not feel guilty because that's how you feel....My only advice is don't get so wrapped up in your career you miss a lot of their special moments. Have balance and life will be good! Don't miss the accomplishments of your children they need mom to be there to.

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