Anyone have a stay home daddy while you work?

Ashlee - posted on 07/29/2010

My husband has been a stay at home daddy since Rhett was born. He is 10 months old now...and in September (just before his 1st birthday) Rhett will start daycare so my husband can finish his degree! Hopefully after that is done I can be more of a stay at home mommy. My hubby will tell you it has been stressful, but I think deep down he loves the time with his lil' man...and he just smiles from ear to ear when his baby boy wants him and not me! He loves having a daddy's boy!

Catherine - posted on 07/26/2010

My husband is diaabled and takes care of our kids and the house. He's been doing this for 12 yrs. now and I must say that he is much better at it than I would ever be. He cooks, cleans and helps the kids with thier homework. They go to a private school and get out three hours before I get off from work.

Suzy - posted on 07/26/2010

My husband is a great stay at home dad. He's been a SAHD for 6.5 years now. He was itching to go back to work last fall, when I found out I was pregnant with our third. To keep himself sane since he stopped working FT, he's stayed with the National Guard, and worked on his masters degree. He's still at home with our newborn now, but if he chooses to work full time again, I will support it. He's used the SAHD.com (?) website as a sounding board with others like him.
As an aside, I was insulted for all SAHDs in 2008 when the media questioned Ms Palin about who would raise her children if she became VP. No one would ever ask a male candidate that!

Kirstie - posted on 07/24/2010

I admire this ability and decision. I am the bread winner of the family and daycare is much of my husbands salary. We had the discussion about him being a stay at home papa but found out 2 things: 1) he would be terrible at the job (not because he doesn't love the boys but because he simply isn't creative in how to engage with them throughout the day). 2) The benefits (primarily retirement and work place subsidy) pays off in the long run.

Traci - posted on 07/24/2010

Like Kelly says it's a love/hate thing. It's nice but it's also a lot of pressure for me. I know myself enough to know I could never be a SAHM so I have no resentment about that. I get wiggly during my summers off with 'nothing' to do. But there is sooo much pressure to make sure there's enough money to pay the bills. I teach in a district that pays better than other districts in my state but I also live where the cost of living is very high.

Kelly - posted on 07/23/2010

I have a love hate relationship with our SAHD arrangement. My husband was laid off almost 2 years ago. I work FT. He does a great job with our daughter, and does an OK job on the chores ... not great, but OK. I find myself getting a little upset and I feel "pushed out" when it comes to our daughter. I'll ask her to do something on the weekend, and she'll say "that's not how daddy has me do it", or my husband will say "step back, you're messing with our routine". I feel like an outsider and I really don't like it.

Irene - posted on 07/23/2010

My husband is a stay at home Daddy. My Mother lived with us until my daughter was 4 1/2 years old and when she decided to move back to West Texas, it was not a hard choice for my husband to stay home. My income was higher and we knew we did not want to do daycare so he quit his job, which he liked very much and had worked his way up to. It has now been 2 years, Mia and her Daddy are really close and it has been the absolute right choice for us.

Judy - posted on 07/23/2010

I have a great situation where my husband stays home during the day with our daughter while I work a full time admin office job and then I get home and he goes to work in the evenings. We really wanted to have it this way mostly because we did not want to put her in day care (which we really can't afford) and luckily he was able to get a part time evening position at UPS.

Yes, it definitely is hard for me to work full time because I do want to be home with her.

Nurbahiyah - posted on 07/23/2010

my husband and i have been married for almost 7 years now. We were both working parents long before, but since he had to full focus on his studies, he had to stay home and look after our kids. It has been 3 years now he's staying home, well once in a awhile he goes to work but only during on-calls. Most of the time he does the laundry, dish washing, cleaning the house and such. Its basically win-win solution here :D So yup, im out to work and he's getting our kids ready for school.

Amparo - posted on 07/22/2010

All I read below is that everyone is happy. My fiance is a stay at home dad because he was laid off right before our second child was born. I know its a blessing in disguise for all the reasons everyone sites but I don't think its fair at all. My SAHD doesn't make dinner, complains all the time that the two little kids (2 and 5mo) are driving him crazy. I still have to plan and organize their days ( sign up for classes and make appointments),and carry the finances because its my money. He even gets the luxury of having an on-call nanny for when he needs to work on his resume or take a phone interview. He ruined my maternity leave because I felt like I had three kids because of his emotional processing of being laid off. In a bitter-sweet kind of way, I am happy to be back at work. He even gets to go workout in the evenings from 8-11pm and has the audacity to let me know that the other at home moms are so attentive to him. The other moms treat him like he is doing such a miraculous job but if it was a SAHM then its expected. It doesn't feel good to be the one carrying the man of the house.

Lenka - posted on 07/22/2010

My partner has been stay-at-home dad to our two year old for most of this year. He mostly loves it (though misses adult company and finds it hard being the only dad at playgroup sometimes). I miss being at home and watching our daughter grow up; however love working too and the challenges that involves. We plan to review at the end of the year.

Angela - posted on 07/22/2010

My husband was laid off a year and a half ago, when our son was only 6 months old. He's been steadily looking for a job, but with our unemployment rate one of the highest in the country, there's not a lot out there so he's stayed home with our son. It's been hard on us financially and him emotionally (he feels he's not providing for his family and knows I'd rather be home with our son), but I think it was a blessing in disguise. What other dad can say he's spent this much time getting to know his child? He does all the cleaning and some laundry (the way he does it drives me nuts so I prefer to do it :-) and I cook because I love to and take care of the finances (because he sucks at it :-). It's been rough and we didn't expect it to last this long but it's SO amazing to see the bond my son and husband share.

Leslie - posted on 07/22/2010

Yes, my husband is technically a SAHD, but the only reason he is because he started out being layed off, he is in the construction field, he is a carpenter - and there aren't any 40 hour a week dependable companies he can work for doing what he does, so his only choice would then to take a $10 an hour job and after taxes, daycare expense, and fuel cost, it would cost more than what he would make. We live in a very rural area and round trip into town to go to a job would be about 75 miles. So the decision was kind of made for him. In any event, this has gone on for 3 years now, we were together for 17 years and we separated 4 weeks ago. I guess my advice is to make sure it is absolutely what he wants to do - if not it could end up tearing your marriage apart.

Melissa - posted on 07/21/2010

Im right there with ya hunny, make that money!

Dawn - posted on 07/20/2010

I wish! He is stuck in daycare. You are very lucky women to make enough money to support your husband and children. Doesn't it feel good to provide for your family?

Katherine - posted on 07/20/2010

My husband became a SAHD to my then 9 y.o. daughter from a previous relationship back in 2007. Due to health concerns on my end, I will most likely be forced into retirement in my early to mid-40s and as such he needed to maximize his earning potential. As a Vet of the USMC with only trade school under his belt, it was decided that he would quit his job and go to college for 3 years to increase his earning potential while I am still healthy enough to work. We hit 3 years this summer and he still has that long to go. He will soon be adding our infant son (due any day) to his duties at home. By the time he goes back to work in his new field of study, he will have been a SAHD for about 6-7 years. It seems to be working pretty well for us, so as long as your arrangement is working out, I don't see the harm. Studies have shown that when dads stay home, the kids actually get more attention from both parents than if they were both working or if mom was home because working moms are still more likely than working dads to take time away from work to be at home when needed and to participate in their children's activities and schooling. The trick is being sure it works for you. I found that once I was very clear about the help I expected (dishes 1 day a week, laundry on Wednesdays, etc.) he stepped up. I know the day will come when my income will be slashed and I will get to be at home with our son and any other kids we have, so for now, it's his turn.

Mandi - posted on 07/20/2010

My husband and I are very lucky. I work full time (3days a week). He is home with our son those days, the he works the other 2 when i'm home. I'd love this to continue until our son is grown and in school all day. crossing my fingers that things continue this way. Daycare is great... just not what i want raising my child.

Lizet - posted on 07/19/2010

My husband has been a stay at home dad since last Sept. He truly loves taking care of our daughter that just turned 3. I do get some looks when people ask me who takes care of my daughter..but I don't mind. He was laid of last summer and my daughter was always sick when she was in daycare. The cost was not the issue, it was her health. Its been a blessing, but he will be heading back to work in a few months and my baby will start in a Prek 3 program soon. So far thats the plan, we take it one day at a time...

Traci - posted on 07/19/2010

My husband was laid off last October and I had already gone back to teaching. He is a SAHD. I think it's been great for him and our 15 month old. We had her at 41 years of age and she is our first child. I made more money than he was and as long as he collects unemployment we can handle it. I didn't get married until I was 40 and already owned my own home. I followed my mom's advice: never rely on a man for financial reasons.

Stacia - posted on 07/17/2010

My husband decided in February to be a stay at home dad because he was laid off. We both love that one of us is raising our children and we don't have to pay the babysitter fees. He has since got a job but he does most of his work at home so he still takes care of the kids. Some people have bad things to say about a stay at home dad but I just think it proves that your husband loves the children just as much as you do if he stays home with them.

Brooke - posted on 07/17/2010

My husband was in a bad car wreck a year and a half ago and could no longer work. So after 5 years of me staying at home i went back to work and he stays home with the kids. At first it was a big adjustment, but it worked its self out. I like that he is able to spend more time with them now.

Deborah K. - posted on 07/17/2010

Yes, my fiancee stays home with my son while I work FT and he gets his home-based business up and running. It works out for our situation right now and as long as he doesn't mind it, I don't mind. As soon as he's established with his work I plan to cut my hours and spend more time at home.

Magen - posted on 07/17/2010

My husband is a SAHD and I absolutely LOVE it. It has been hard for him at times because there is almost no support for men like there is for women. My job is crazy and my schedule changes all the time so our child needs the stability that my husband being at home provides. I do feel it should be something you both agree on but if he likes it and you are doing okay finacially its good for your children.

Bec - posted on 07/16/2010

My husband and I both work but we have schedule worked out so that I take the kids to school and then stay later at work and he picks the kids up from school so he starts work earlier. He does all the cooking, washing and a lot of the housework and this works wonderfully for us. Good luck!

Valerie - posted on 07/15/2010

My husband is a SAHD. I went back to work (after raising 3 kids - the youngest at the time was 7) and then my husband was laid off. He wasn't having any luck with finding a job at first and then we found out we were expecting another one. He still is looking, but considering the cost of child care he has to be able to earn the same kind of salary as before. Side Note about SAHD: I had to point out that when he worked he only cleaned when I was sick, never did laundry, and only cooked (BBQ) on his off days and that now it's his turn. I don't think he knew how much work it really was, but atleast he has older kids to help.

Alayna - posted on 07/15/2010

Similar for us, except we did not know 4 years ago that we were excepting our third when I started working outside the home again. What a shock! He had a pretty rough go of it the second year with a newborn, but is reaching his stride now and loving it!

Nancy - posted on 07/15/2010

My husband has been a SAHD for the past 6 years. We started a business together and I joined him a year ago. I credit him with making our son the fine young man he is today. I don't think I would have done as well. BEST THING EVER. http://eco-scents.com

Kelly - posted on 07/15/2010

My husband is a stay at home Daddy, and it has been for the past 6 months. I think it's hard on him to be at home. But, he is also glad that he can do it.

Katie - posted on 07/15/2010

My fiance stays home with our 20 month old daughter. We decided he should be the one because I had a stable job and I made more than him. I really wanted to be the one to stay home and still do but I know right now its the best decision for us. I'm hoping that when our daughter is in school he will find a job. Right now he is kind of going crazy being home all day with our daughter. Hes a guy he needs that interaction and that feeling of I can do this. Soon enough I'll get my turn...

Amy - posted on 07/14/2010

My husband is a stay at home dad too, although only for 2 years so far. Were due with our second (and last) in October, when our last goes off to school he'll be heading back into the working world. He is on top of it all going back to school so it works out well for both of us.

Annamarie - posted on 07/14/2010

My husband was a stay at home daddy off and on for the past 5 years. Honestly, he couldn't handle it and absolutely had to go back to work. Are you wanting your husband to work?

Tracey - posted on 07/13/2010

My husband too is a stay-at-home dad; and has been for the last 8 years. Both kids are at school now and he is on the reading group roster and anxillary help roster at school. He does the laundry and most of the cleaning and cooking ( I cook once a week).
Originally he took on the role because his employer cut his hours to an unworkable level when the youngest was born and it was cheaper for us to have him look after the kids at home than for him to work.
Did you have a review of how it was going after the trial period? If you are not happy or want to explore other possibilities maybe it is time for a discussion.