Amy - posted on 08/08/2012 ( 35 moms have responded )
If so how to you cope without completely resenting him / her and wanting to file for divorce every day? I recently had to get a second job by starting a consulting practice just to pay for daycare and every day items as well as get prepared for baby # 2 due in 5 weeks. I am exhausted, work 55-70 / hrs a week, do all the baby care for our almost 10 month old, take care of the animals, clean, laundry, shop, organize, pick up, drop off, dr visits, call in when our daughter is sick or try to make up time, and handle all of the debt owed from wedding and baby # 1, as well as make sure we have health coverage, baby sitters, and everything else. Every time I bring up a bill past due he looks at me like yeah - what do you want me to do about it, and he never picks up or helps clean. Instead he sits and watches TV for hours (seriously 4-8 or more a day). He does work but almost all of it goes to child support and he refuses to get a second job or even kick in any of the money he does get. (we have separate accounts because of his back pay owed). He has bought formula twice in 6 months, diapers once, and wipes once. He always has money for what he wants or needs and will spend hundreds on fireworks and on his 20 year class reunion but does not see the impact on us. As a matter of fact he told me I should have just not gone to the reunion with him because he had to spend money on my ticket and then he had to come home early to help carry the 10 month old and her stuff because it is getting very difficult for me, espeacilly later at night. He is still mad at me, even though I gave him the option to stay. That was five days ago and he is still yelling at me about it. Additionally he feels he does not have any responsibility towards medical bills for our daughter or my prenatal care, but yet I took care of payments for a surgey he had, his insurance for 2 years, and help pay for his perscription for blood pressure. I honestly resent him and want a divorce and have even starting resenting his 11 year old daughter because he did take care of her and his parents and family do a lot for her, even though he and her mom were never married or anything. I am so tired and worried about how much worse it will be when the second baby comes. I also know his family will not help and they have told me it is my responsibility and they were very mad at me for taking him off of my insurance plan and have not spoken with me since March. they feel my expectations are too high and I should just leave him alone. (Yes his mother said this to me). I always rely on my family and friends for help and it is just continueing to make me mad. I am already a single mother ad honestly it would be less stressful without him. Thoughts?