At what age must you hit your child? or not?
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Tracey - posted on 06/03/2009
Hi, I work with children and families, in our work we promote other ways of keeping control, I agree with Louise Magno, any type of physical "hitting" = violence, after all if you hit an adult you would be in trouble, hitting children is just not acceptable , however "soft", just dont do it. If you are having trouble with behaviour seek out a parenting course, which will enable you to change things and keep in control, you will be amazed about how much you will learn, the great thing is, it works! Go to your local Childrens Centre, they are there to help and will not judge you. Hope this helps, good luck! x
Kiersten - posted on 06/02/2009
I must admit I SPANK my oldest son. But only as a last resort and not to actually hurt them. just to get their attention if they are out of control. On the bum only. And don't make it a habit then they'll know that they're being really bad. And as far as age. I'd say not till after two years old. Any earlier and they really don't understand. They just know that mommy hurt them. If you absolutely HAVE to give them a spank. It should be ONE LIGHT smack on the bottom. more than one pat is a sign of losing control and getting your frustrations out.
HOPE THIS HELPS
MarlÃ¨ne - posted on 06/02/2009
Hitting a child is always a sign of loss of control from the parent. And it is never a good idea to show your child that you cannot control yourself !!! The only period I was "physical" with both of my sons is when they hit me or bite me (between 15 to 19 months). When they did it, I did exactly the same (hit or bite), with what I though was the same strength. But I always added : "See how painful it is. If you hurt me, I'll do the same" And they quit hitting and biting quite quickly !
But for spankings and slapping, I feel that there are many ways much more effective (but not easier) to get your point known than resolving to use those.
Tricia - posted on 06/02/2009
The use of the word "hit" makes me nervous. I'm not opposed to spanking, but nobody should touch a child when they are angry. If you want to spank because you're mad, the kid needs a time out or something instead until you are calm.
You never want to hurt a child with a spanking. Your discipline is just meant to teach self discipline. So think about what the best way to teach your child might be. I have a neighbor who has learned that asking "Is that a good choice?" sends her three year old into tears and repentance if she was doing something bad. Another friend has found that spanking encourages her daughter to act out (hitting her brother), while time outs give her an incentive to be good because she doesn't want to lose play time. Think about the most effective way to teach self discipline, and don't think so much about punishing.