boyfriend at the age of 6! Help!!

Niele - posted on 02/03/2013

My son has just started year 1 and last year I was shocked as he was chased by several little girls in his kindy class. At first I wasn't too concerned as his teacher picked up on it and was instructing the class not to play that game but there was one little girl who wa particularly persistant. My little man went along with it saying she was his girlfriend until one day out of the blue she "Dumped" him infront of everyone! He wa devestated! Not that he understood what was happening but he was upset because he didn't know why she was yelling at him and didn't understand why she said she didn't want to be his friend anymore, a well as being embarressed by the humiliation of being yelled at infront of all his friends.
I was angry because my son clearly didn't understand an was hurt by her actions.
I just sat him down and spoke to him about not playing that game because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings like that little girl had done to him. But as the year went on there was 3 girls fighting over him. Trying to kiss him in class when the teacher wasn't looking and demanding his attention in the play ground. I didn't know what to do!
So I tryed to encourage the friendships with the boys in his class and he decided to spend his time with them rather than being caught up in all the drama of the girls. He's now about to turn 6 and still doesn't quite get the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing.
But I guess the point I'm trying to make is while he does need to figure it all out and make his own way, he was humiliated and confused by the while thing. We try to encourage our kids to be kind and friendly to everyone regardless of their sex but I too find it disturbing that kids so young are mimicking adult behavioir. And I'm my opinion it's not something that should be encouraged.

Becky - posted on 09/25/2010

My daughter was having little boyfriends at 8. I was ok with her calling her boy friends a Boyfriend because we talked about what was ok for her & her little boyfriends to do at her age. we discussed the things that she see's boys & girls on TV & movies (kissing) and how those boys & girls were much older than her & her friends and therefor was not ok for her to be doing. She's been very open with me about what her & her little boyfriends do (they play together at recess, nothing more).
I did have a scare with her & one of her girl friends writing letters to pretend boyfriends about sex . . . turns out they had heard the word, but had no idea what it meant. After a good talk about that, she's stopped that.
Over all, be open with your child. Don't over react, often times it's more innocent than it sounds. We're hearing what they are saying with adult ears, but they are talking with a child's understanding of the world.
I would say having a conversation with the boys parents wouldn't be a bad idea. They need to know whats going on. Over all sounds like your daughter and this boy are trying to act older than they are probably based on what they they've seen in life or on TV or movies. My best guess is that they truly don't know what they are doing, they are simply trying to mimic what they've seem.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/24/2010

How old is the little boy .go to the school and meet with his parent and the teacher he could just be doing something he sees or someone could be doing this to him .Just investigate this could be harmless and it could be serious just know that children are innocent so be easy.

Julie - posted on 09/19/2010

I'm sorry... but two things are going on here..
1. it is a normal phase..your little girl testing boundaries and being silly is not anything i would worry about...
Buuuuuttttt
my red flag went up with " he is a bad boy" some sort of mom instinct went off in you that makes you feel unsafe with this . The boy said ""that he was never going to let her go and that she has no say he will always be her boyfriend....." that to me is a disturbing thing for a child to say at such a young age and is not cute or age appropriate...patterns for behavior start now! and this is something that needs to be addressed not ignored. He needs to learn you cant control women like this and she needs to learn not get involved in abusive relationships. I am sorry if people think I am overreacting but if children form their ideas about reading ,writing, and table manners at six they also form their ideas about relationship and dating at six and it is never too young to start teaching them about healthy ones.

Jennifer - posted on 09/18/2010

This is a phase. Honestly the bigger deal you make out of it the more fun it is to tell you... (shock value) My daughter did that and I reacted probably alot like you and now she throws it at me all the time. The rule in my house is no boyfriends until after college... LOL. She always says she'll abide by that rule... but then she says she's going to marry my friends son ("after college Mom") to try to get my goat.. Ignore it and maybe be the one to explain how "boys have cooties" to your daughter... That might stop any kissing! Good luck!

Donna - posted on 09/17/2010

wow. The little boy seems like hes maybe immitaing a parent or maybe something hes seen on tv. I dont know what I would do if I were you, maybe keep listening, hope that it will pass.