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Can we afford a second child?

Angela - posted on 05/12/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

2

10

I'm having conflicted and need some feedback. I'm 37 and have a 3 1/2 year old daughter. We have talked about having a second child but both of us rely on both incomes for house/car/bills/daycare etc. So the only hold up is financials. We recently bought a house and have 2 car payments. What to do? I'm open feedback from career moms who may feel the same.


Angie

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Nicola - posted on 05/13/2010

71

25

I always think that if we sat down and worked out how much it was going to cost us, NONE of us would even have the first one!



So you are considering this sensibly. There are obviously further expenses in having a second child, although it may not be as much of a drain on your finances as the arrival of the first one was. If it bothers you that much, sit down and look hard at your budget. Are there areas where you can save? Does your daycare provider offer discount for further children from the same family? The mortgage obviously needs to be paid, but do you have to have two cars? Can you make savings in your daily spending?



This sensible budget appraisal also needs to be balanced with the fact that the damn biological clock IS ticking for you. It took me 6 months plus to get pregnant at 34, when both my boys (born in my twenties) were pretty much one-shot babies! There are many more older mothers these days, but I suspect it's unusual for any of them to conceive instantly.



The other thing to consider is, do you really passionately want a second baby? Not everyone does. Some people may be happy with just one, but almost feel obliged to produce a sibling because that's what society expects. Do some of your misgivings boil down to the fact that maybe doing this the once was the right thing for you?



I'm sorry I have no definitive answers (nobody will except you and your OH!), but hopefully these are thoughts that might help you on your way...

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