Caylee is 6 wks old, She cries everytime I put her down HELP!!!!!!!!!

Tara - posted on 11/18/2009 ( 58 moms have responded )

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I have made the mistake of holding her all the time, now every time I lay her down to get my work done, she cries.......ALSO she has slept in my bed since day 1, now she HATES her crib, she won't even lay in it to play or anything!

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Beth - posted on 11/23/2009

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Oh man I feel ur pain! I was a mess for 2 1/2 months! I couldn't even cook dinner. The house was a disaster! But like some of the other moms said, baby was all comfy and secure inside of you for 9 months...she still needs you to be close. My baby was soooo active, she would just get worse if I swaddled her...the nurses couldn't even keep her swaddled in the hospital and they wrapped her up tight! I think it 6 just depends on each mom and what they are comfortable with. My daughter is 4 1/2 months now and she now will sleep in her crib and also will play by herself for short periods of time. It'll get easier. :) Hang in there! Enjoy her time being little...it goes by too fast!

Amy - posted on 11/21/2009

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I agree with the swaddle as it helped us big time. Crying it out does not work in a 6 week old so don't bother to try it... They are too young to understand the cause and effect of it all.. Read Happiest Baby on the Block or Health Sleep Habits for more great advice!!!

AM - posted on 11/24/2009

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swaddle
sling or wrap
swing

don't let a 6-week-old cry it out. You can't spoil a baby under 3 months. They want to be close to us... after all, they just lived in us for 9 months.

Jacquelyn - posted on 11/23/2009

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My daugher had colic for 5 months, I tried everything and whatever worked at the time is what I did. I would sit outside her crib and rub her back or belly and sing to her at the same time. I used the vibrating seat also. Remember she will only be this little for a moment and then you will miss holding her. Hold her all you want.

Dee - posted on 11/22/2009

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I think little babies are meant to be held, ours slept with us, til she was 3 years old, her choice to leave the family bed, and as a little thing i kept her strapped to me pretty much all the time. Effectively she was swaddled in a wrap around me it left my hands free to do stuff, she fed there when ever she wanted and she never cried lol (her lungs are fine - they absolutely do not need to cry to build lung strength) do what feels right for you, and follow your gut and heart (ignore all other advice with a smile and a thank you)

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Virginia - posted on 11/25/2009

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swaddling is great they fall asleep so quick. Sometime it is ok to let them cry. My son didn't like his crib and found out it was the mattress.

Kristen - posted on 11/25/2009

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My son was like that. I started carrying him in the sling...he loves it and I can get some work done!

Tara - posted on 11/25/2009

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A sling is great for surviving when the baby does't want to be put down. This phase will pass.
When my daughter went thru that phase I would put her in her stroller and take her for a walk. Once she was a sleep the entire stoller or car seat would come in the house with me and i would leave her asleep until she woke on her own.
The other trick I used a lot was to put her in the swing and run the vacuum. She would cry until the vacuum turned on and fall asleep within a minute or two.
We went thru the same thing with the crib. What worked was putting the baby in the crib during the day while we were around and talking to her or playing with her. Start to make the crib a place to be happy. Eventually she will lbecome used to it.

Lisa - posted on 11/25/2009

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try wrapping her up with a shawl or blanket not too tight now just enough as it still feels to her that ur still cuddling her thats wat i used to do with my 3 kids when they were babies an it worked like a dream .doesn't hurt to try this .get her a dummy if you dont have one too, this will help sooth her.letting her cry a little too wont do her any harm but not too long,but u can t lay her down then lift her again just cause she crys as she will do it even more cause ur lifting her, an do it all the more she will learn if ur patient an dont continue lifting her every time she crys when layed down to sleep.

Emily - posted on 11/24/2009

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Every Babies have their times like your daughter does. Don't worry. And be patient.



My son acted like your daughter when he was 3 months old, he cries angrily everytime I lay him down. But As the time goes, the bad attitdue will lost. Now he never act like that again.

Amanda - posted on 11/24/2009

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The swaddler blanket works real good. They even sell a "swaddler" blanket in the stores now (that way you don't have to make one and the baby can't wiggle out of). I found it to be a life saver with my son when he wouldn't sleep through the night.

Latoya - posted on 11/24/2009

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does she have a swing? i used to put my daughter in her swing and turn it on, it's comforting :)

Electa - posted on 11/24/2009

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Do as I done with mine who is now 15... do what you want make sure she is safe crying is not harmful. Just do what you want she will adjust. Just be consistant in any thing you do... Congrats and enjoy her they grow up fast :-)

Amy - posted on 11/24/2009

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she may be a swaddler. i never heard of it either till we discovered my son was one. what u do is when your gonna lay her down, wrap her up nice and tight in a blanket. fold it all around her. but not too tight. she has to breath. it worked for my son. give it a try.

Nicole - posted on 11/24/2009

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my daughter is the same age and she is very needy for her mommy as well. i held her all the time from day one and she slept in my bed (occasionally still does) but my mom had went out and purchased a swing for me and that does wonders. she cries at first but then it relaxes her. also swaddling works wonders! but my trick to getting her to sleep in a crib was to keep minimal lights off when feeding her at night, let them fall asleep in your arms, then gradually put them in the crib. i wont dare put her in her crib until she is totally zonked out or else she will cry and therefore shes in my bed. the only time she sleeps with me now is if she isn't falling asleep after her bottle in the middle of the night and i just want to go back to sleep.

April - posted on 11/24/2009

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Ok so I read some of the quotes and responses and yes I agree with swaddleing technique It gives babies the feeling of being in the womb post pardom exists for both child and mother

April - posted on 11/24/2009

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let her cry!!!!! It is good for them and she will cry herself to sleep. If you pick her up every time she cries she will be that toddler who will "make" you carry them all the time also it will teach them that cries will get your attention so stand your ground and allow her to cry if any thing for 5 or ten minutes that wayt she will learn that thats not how to get your attention.

Clair - posted on 11/24/2009

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I did the same thing and had the exact same concerns. But when Elin was maybe about 2 months old, she didn't want to be held when sleeping anymore, and started to cry to get me to put her down. Thankfully these are all phases, good luck, I hope she will want to sleep on her own soon. 





 

Daisy - posted on 11/23/2009

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Hey Tara - been there done that as a first time mom you do not want to hear her cry but, it is good for her to cry because it is strengthen her lungs and also it is allow her to attain independence even at a young age. If you know you have feed her and she is dry let her cry for awhile because you do not want her to get use to you running to pick her up everytime she cries. If you do this believe me you will be in a world of trouble.

Amanda - posted on 11/23/2009

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you should get what to expect for the first year...
theres this whole section on "is your baby a difficult baby"
and it talks about babies who are overly sensitive to their surroundings.. its a really good, helpful book... it helped me out SO MUCH

Melissa - posted on 11/23/2009

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You should get the book Save Our Sleep by Tissie Hall - It is so great it will tell you everything u need to know about getting your baby to sleep in their own cot and to sleep throgh the night. It has routines you can follow aswell. I really recommend it to everyone. It helped me so much when my daughter was younger and it has helped many people i know too.

Heather - posted on 11/23/2009

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my son was the same way, but when he was 2 weeks old me and my husband moved away from everyone we know and it was just me and my son when my husband was at work. i quickly learned that even though it is hard and may seem horrably mean, you need to get things done! if your baby is fed, changed, and safe letting him or her cry it out for 10 or 15 mins while you get something done wont hurt you or them. as far as the crib , she is still young and trainable. if you put her in the crib when she is tired and sing or rub her tummy everynight nd she will adapt, and advertually it will seem like it was never a prob. but dont let her associate play with her crib or it will always be a "play place" hope i helped!!!!

Pam - posted on 11/23/2009

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Quoting Alison:

Don't worry. You have made no mistakes. You gave your baby the comfort and security she needed and you nurtured the strong bond between you. You are off to a great start!

The best kept secret with newborns is the power of a great swaddle. Find a demo on youtube. With the right blanket (it must be big enough) and the right technique, babies cannot resist.

Good luck!


Swaddling is awesome however, I found with my child I had to do a little extra. She liked the feeling of pressure against her as if she was being held so we would swaddle her and then roll up blankets and tuck them around her and she loved it.

Laura - posted on 11/23/2009

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try putting a item of your clothing in her crib, it must be something you have worn so it has you smell on it. though if you breast fed her try something of your partners as she will be able to smell milk.

Sally - posted on 11/23/2009

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1. Crying is not necessary to "strengthen" a baby's lungs.
2. A baby of this age is not a "psychologist" as suggested, and has no desire at all to manipulate you.

Controlled crying has not been proven to NOT be harmful.

Controlled crying is not a matter of a baby learning to sleep without you, it's a matter of the baby learning that you are not there to meet her needs. The baby is defeated - that's why it (eventually) stops crying. NOT what I want my son to feel. Also prolonged crying increases stress homones which can impact on learning and emotional development. Do you want me to continue? Google Pinky McKay's article "The Con of Controlled Crying" to find out more.

In saying this, there is a difference between crying and fussing. You can tell by the tone of the baby's cry whether she is just fussing or is generally upset. Babies often do "fuss" as they go to sleep. But when the crying is building up instead of winding down, and there are tears, and the baby sounds upset, I would NOT leave her.

Swaddle, swaddle, swaddle. Wear her in a sling. Think about your expectations of her - this tiny little person has been all snug and warm inside you for so long, with your body meeting every need she had. Now she is out, and getting used to a whole new world. Let her ease into it. Why do we expect them to suddenly be able to cope with all this? You have not made a mistake holding her all this time. You have given her what she needs. Don't stop now, especially suddenly! Talk about a shock to the system!

The Happiest Baby on the Block is great. It talks about the 5 S's to get your baby to sleep - swaddling, shhh-ing, side positioning (while falling asleep), swinging (rocking) and sucking. IT WORKS.

A vaccuum cleaner was the magic touch with my little man, once he got to a few months old - if he was upset and nothing would settle him, I'd turn the vaccuum on and the white noise would help him settle within minutes.

I also used the trick of putting a piece of my clothing in his cot so he could smell me, and a photo of myself and my partner safely in view of his cot. These really helped too. But once again, this was when he was a few months old.

Good luck - you're doing everything right.

Stephanie - posted on 11/22/2009

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Have you tried wearing her in a sling...? That worked really well for me and swaddling her..I think some other moms mentioned that.

Every thing is so new to her, and the only communication she has is crying right now. It might take some time for her to get used to her crib. That is only natural...hang in there it will get better. My daughter is 11 months old and she didnt start sleeping in her crib until about 4 months or so. You can transition her slowly beginning with naps.

Elizabeth - posted on 11/22/2009

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you might want ot try to just let her lay in the bed and let her cry cring is good for there lungs that is a way to try to break her from wanting to be held all the time i had to go thru it with my son and after a while of me doing that he was good to go

Theresa - posted on 11/22/2009

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6 week olds aren't capable of crying to "get their way". Infants only cry because of a need. Whether that need be comfort, hunger, diaper change, burp - unless they have a medical condition of course. But still, they only cry for need at this age. Try swaddling, bouncers, anything - but remember they are only small for a short time.

Comfort - posted on 11/22/2009

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You said it, you made the mistake of holding her all the time. Put her in something around you while you are doing your chore, but you have to stand beside her, so she can get use to it untill she calms down. If seh can feel you are around then it will help.
I always play his cassette player for him while I am busy doing some other things.

Karen - posted on 11/22/2009

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She just wants to stay close. I'm not into the cry it out thing, but do what makes you comfortable. There is no right or wrong way to do anything. She's still very young. Isaiah slept with me too, and the hardest part was not getting a good night's sleep...they wanna stay right up under you! Lol...Baby in the bed is not the best thing. Some do and some don't.
Do what works for you,,,the first months are kind of hard and you'll feel like you're the only one that's ever gone through it. One day you'll look back and wonder what all the fuss was about. Stay strong. Cherish every moment, they grow up so fast.

Louise - posted on 11/22/2009

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your babys is insurcure because shes been in your tummy for 9 months and its warm and shes heard ur heartbeat and ect all for that time my son was like that i brought a heart beat cd from love to learn its like 20 dollars onestly it bloody works like gold best thing i brought i just put it on when its time for slep and it relaxes him and hes of and theres no tears try it :)

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ohhhh. Is she your first? You have to start when she was 2 weeks old. Because the baby always wants to be held. You are going to have to tough through. Its going to be alot of crying but babies are so adorable all you can do is hold them....
Good luck

CINDY - posted on 11/22/2009

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do u have a swing? also make sure she does not have a digestion problem like GERD.

Terria - posted on 11/22/2009

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She might have colic or jaundice so get her check out at the doctor. other than that if she does not have nay issues of concern let her cry. My mom says they can not cry blood. She is probably a little spoiled and she knows when she cries you will hold her.

Brandy - posted on 11/22/2009

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For your own sanity, let the baby cry. It is not going to hurt the child. She doesn't hate her crib, it is just foreign to her. Slowly transition her from bed to crib and she will learn to like the crib. During the day when she is napping make sure you put her in the crib. Your child sleeping with you is not a bad thing. Children know that is a secure place and when they need security they will want to sleep there. My seven year old and my 4 year old still climb in the bed with me some nights when they need to know life is ok. Your baby is only 6 weeks old and you have made no mistakes. Children don't come with instruction manuals. You have to do what you feel is right for your child, but if you have a significant other at home with you or who likes to spend the night then you are going to need to get the baby to sleep in her own bed, but not until YOU feel it is time and the other person will just have to understand and get over it. You only have a short period of time when your children feel they need you more than anything, enjoy it. If you get to frustrated lay the baby down in her crib, make sure she is covered and warm and WALK AWAY and go do something else like watch a t.v. show in the next room or go sit in silence for a moment, what ever it takes to calm down and rethink how you can help your child. You will learn the difference in cries very soon and you will know what the I want attention one is. That is when you know your child is fine and just wants to dominate your attention. You are the teacher and the childs lesson begins now, she will learn that she has to entertain herself sometimes and give you a break, but give yourself time and her to adjust to a new situation. Remember, she feels your frustration and mimics that. If you are frustrated she will be to only adding to yours. If you are calm then she will be calm and secure. Hope this helps.

Beverlee - posted on 11/22/2009

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the swaddle.....it really does work. but you have to make tight because if you make were there arms start trying to wiggle out then its telling them that they are not being secured and the secure they want is from the momma. as for the crib. i made the same mistake too and now my husband gets mad when my kids are sleeping with me and he has no where to sleep. but you have to get through the crying and not give in because you dont want your child to become the problem in your relationship. just roll up some recieving blankets and swaddle your baby and then tuck the rolled recieving blankets around babys back and in front,because it gives the impression that you are laying right there.

Dawn - posted on 11/21/2009

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I know it is hard to do but you have to let her cry when you put her down. Also let her cry in her crib! Goodluck! I know it will be hard but it will help just to let her cry.

Teresa - posted on 11/21/2009

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Quoting Tara:

Caylee is 6 wks old, She cries everytime I put her down HELP!!!!!!!!!

I have made the mistake of holding her all the time, now every time I lay her down to get my work done, she cries.......ALSO she has slept in my bed since day 1, now she HATES her crib, she won't even lay in it to play or anything!


Just find something that she likes and suroound her with pillows and bright colors to get her attention and then you can add a little toy that reflects her image and let her see herself. play some soft music and sit where where she can see you at all times until you can gradually exit out the room from time to time to let her see that you are still around and she's not alone. And it won't happen right away. You have to work at this. and at night let her start playing in her crib from time to time listening to some soft music or lullabyes with a night light on and her favorite toy. Sit in a chair so she can see you and when you leave out the room continue to talk to her and let her know that you haven't forgot about her still. Try this out and let me know. God Bless. And take care.

Lorri - posted on 11/21/2009

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Is there any music/artist you listened to constantly while you were pregnant? Whenever my infant got fussy, I would pop in one of the cd's I listened to the whole time I was pregnant & she calmed right down. This may be a good lullaby for her as well.
I also put a 4 rolled up receiving blankets on the crib mattress. One along each side of her lengthwise, one right below her feel & one right above her head. Babies somehow seem to sense the feeling of close quarters and of a lot of space around them.

Denise - posted on 11/21/2009

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hi tara i did this with my first and you know what i realised he did not die from getting his own way. so put her down it will strengthen her lungs. VERY hard at first but you'll both be better in the long run .be blessed

Denise - posted on 11/21/2009

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My second child was like that. So I wrapped her in a blanket so tight she looked like a eggroll. LOL It stopped her from crying. Also don't give in every time she cries. If she is only crying to get her way by you giving in you are teaching her that if she cries enough she will get what she wants. Hold out. In a couple of days you will have kicked that learned behavior out.

Sylvia - posted on 11/21/2009

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You haven't made a mistake! New babies need to be held a lot, that's why they're so snuggly and portable :). She is learning to trust you. Believe it or not, what you've been doing is the best way to help her become confident and independent later on :)

What kind of work do you do? It's hard to say without knowing that, but what saved my sanity when my daughter was that age was wearing her in a sling most of the time so that she was as close to me as she felt she needed to be but I had my hands free. (Although I did need one hand to nurse -- I never mastered the hands-free-nursing-in-the-sling trick that people talk about. I became an extremely proficient one-handed typist after a while ;^).) There's a bit of a learning curve when you use a sling -- I'd suggest trying a bunch of different soft carriers (unpadded sling, padded sling, Baby Bjorn, Baby Trekker, Ergo, Moby wrap, whatever you can borrow or buy second-hand) to find one that works for you and your baby -- but once you get the hang of it, it's SO GREAT to be able to carry the baby with you while you do whatever you need to do. Much less crying and much less stress for everybody.

I know how you feel, because my daughter also didn't like to be put down, ever, when she was that age. She had some medical issues that we didn't know about at first; at 5 months she had surgery to correct her congenital inguinal hernias, and after she recovered from that, she mellowed out a lot, but she was still a high-touch high-need baby -- she's a really high-touch person to this day, in fact (she's now 7). If you looked through our photo albums from when she was a baby you'd see a ton of photos of her sleeping on the bed or the couch or whatever, and you might think she slept a lot, but in fact we have those photos because the only time I could ever put her down for 5 minutes was when she was deeply asleep (sometimes not even then), and also because her sleeping while not on me was such an unusual event that I was like, OMG! Must take photo! LOL

Have you read The Fussy Baby Book by Sears & Sears? I found it really helpful...

Debbie - posted on 11/21/2009

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Hi, my mum showed me how to swaddle - she said it made baby feel as they were still in the womb - all warm and secure - worked for me. babies cry - just try to switch off from it as long as you know baby if full, clean and safe all will be ok in the end - good luck

Lisa - posted on 11/21/2009

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Lay on the bed and let her fall asleep on your chest. When she is sound asleep, VERYGENTLY slide her off, gently, onto your bed, you can even let her fall asleep on something you were wearing so she will smell you!! Once its clean ofcourse. Hope it works, you are not alone, it happens to us all, they are like a little toy and we all make the mistake of holding them too long!! Let me know how it goes. You should try to rest at that time too. You will have to let her sleep in the crib, work it in during the day, yes she will cry, but once she is fed and is dry and not in pain, she will fall asleep and settle down. They are little psychologists and try all they can to get us to give them undivided attention!! You will have to bear with the crying for a little while and it will stop.

Melissa - posted on 11/21/2009

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awe i remember this lol in my experience with my first baby he did the same i could never put him down even in a dead sleep he would wake up when i laid him down, he slept with me everything he eventually broke this at 4, but with the other babies i laid them down they would cry and i would make sure they werent wet i knew they were full and so i would let them cry they would fall alseep they need to cry sometimes it hurts but you have to let them do this, but you are doing nothing wrong its just the baby wants and knows your smell and must have it all the time, it will be along road but try to be persistant when you lay her down in her crib she will cry but you know she is not hurt just check in like every 5 min and then 10 and then 20 ect. soon she will understand that this is where she sleeps Good Luck to you :)

Suzanne - posted on 11/20/2009

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now's the time to break her! let her cry, no matter how it kills you, and make her sleep in her crib

Joan - posted on 11/20/2009

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Vibrating bouncers worked for both of my kids. Went though a lot of batteries, but it worked.

Tawni - posted on 11/19/2009

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Swaddle!!!! and when mine were little I bought this thing that hooks up to the side of the crib to project images on the wall and play pretty music.. Maybe it would help? Also, Crying a little bit never hurt anybody..

Stephanie - posted on 11/19/2009

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swaddle her up really well put soothing music on my daughter didn't like her crib either at first but i put her in it and let her cry it out but you haven't done anything wrong my daughter went through the same thing.

Olga - posted on 11/19/2009

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Swaddling really helped us get our baby to sleep, otherwise she'd wake herself too easily. We swaddled until 3 months old. I really like the sleepsack swaddle, if your baby is not too big for it.

Mindi - posted on 11/19/2009

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The swaddle is the answer, if she still cries you can get something to put on the side of the crib that vibrates and plays soothing sounds. My 2nd had one and she loved it. BTW, you can't "spoil" a 6 week old, she needs the attention and love at that age...hand her off if she gets to be too much for you. Good luck

Maree - posted on 11/19/2009

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Hi. Everything that you do is a learning curve for you and her. You do what you feel is best for you. Yep it doesnt hurt her to cry (controlled crying) its good for her lungs to develop. If she has no underlining issues like colic or reflux etc, my suggestion to you is when my second boy was a baby i had the same issue and it got to the point where i almost hit that point of no return (i walked outside thank god) so i had to do something...i tried everything and the only thing apart from rocking and holding was to take my top off that i had on a place it in the cot. This way he thought that he was still with me because he could smell me on the shirt. It worked a treat. Had to check on him occasionally for safety reasons but it was sensational....i stopped feeling guilty about letting him cry also. They have heaps of new things to learn...hospital bed, cot, crib? prams and capsules. well hope i have helped more than babbled. All the best and good luck hope it works for you. maree

Cheryl - posted on 11/18/2009

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I went through the same thing I thought I held her too much. I even asked my pediatrician and she told me that she was not spoiled. Babies are trying to adjust to being out in the world and their comfort isbeing cuddled by mommy all the time, I also had her sleeping in my bed for the same reason as soon as i put her down she would cry but believe me its just a phase and will pass enjoy your baby and hold her as much as you want my baby just turned three months and she's fine now not spoiled and over her phase. Hope this helps let me know how it turns out.
Cheryl

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