Megan Elaine - posted on 02/08/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )
I am a single working mother of two toddlers 2-3 both girls. Their father and I had a rough start and we were both in recovery from different things. I took the right road and improved my life and he struggled with it, I couldn't take any more abuse from him and had to make him leave. When he is using substances he is a monster, when he is working on him self and staying on the straight and narrow he is an amazing man and great father. Sadly for me and the girls he doesn't often stay that way for more than 6 months at a time. I have suffered so much at this mans hands and so have my children. I understand the struggle he is fighting because i did it myself so I know that the good man the man i love is in there. Long story short he moved away ran away from our lives because i was hell bent on moving on with my life with a healthy relationship or no relationship, months have gone by he is insisiting that he is better that he realizes all the harm he cause and wants to correct it that he wants to be the husband and father myself and our girls desreve what we never had... Now I am torn, I don't want to be hurt again and I find myself cold and suspicious of everyone not just him now. I don't want to open my girls to heart ache and confusion. So, what i told him is that if he can present himself as a stable hard working person be consistant with a job and help with the girls he can come back into our lives slowly n we can see where it will go but that i will not rush only to have him revert back and pull our lives down around our feet yet again. I would love to be with the father of my children in a happy productive relationship that is whole for the girls and happy for me. I feel like I am emotionally dead inside and wont find anther man because this is where my heart lies. I am more than open for suggestions and looking for experince strenght and hope..... I know I am not alone on this and just need to know what i should be doing or if I am nuts to even be considering it in the first place...